I'll answer your questions

Do you belong to bigro's goblin?

no I belong to a very special and perfect goblin

QUESTION SURGE!!!

Because so many people answered so many questions all at once, the Fourth Master Key has appeared! HOWEVER!!!!!! IT IS SHY!

It will only allow itself to be taken by a questioner who knows their stuff. Draw a goblin. If you do, the key is yours.. for now. (Goblin drawings need not to be any "better" than a 1 minute doodle)

1. I'm incapable of feeling completely ready; the closest approximation is, in retrospect, having not fucked things up.

2. I'd like to hope I'd take everyone I could. I'm a twisted romantic, so I think there's a charm in being killed hardest by people unaware they're killing me.

3. I'm beseeching a higher authority. Give me Fogel's key, please. I'm deriving satisfaction that this is the manner in which I'm spending my time, and the positive impact doing well at said game will have on my life is incidental at best, so it fits most definitions of a game.

Futuristic Robogoblin

1. Do you feel ready?

2. Who will you take with you to safety when the bloodbath begins?

3. What are you actively doing to win this game? Is it even a game?

1. Not really.

2. I will take Chwoka to safety, because there are 24 of him and he would therefore result in the most bonus points for civilians saved. (That's Chwoka, not ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆, for the record.)

3. By heroically overcoming my innate desire to never interact with other human beings.

4. Webster's Google defines a game as "A form of play or sport, especially a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck." I think we can all agree that nobody in this thread is particularly skillful, lucky, or strong. So no, this is definitely not a game. This is deadly serious.

@Credit: That's not a drawing! You've immediately lost all 3 levels of probation you've worked so hard to build up!

1. I'm incapable of feeling completely ready; the closest approximation is, in retrospect, having not fucked things up.

2. I'd like to hope I'd take everyone I could. I'm a twisted romantic, so I think there's a charm in being killed hardest by people unaware they're killing me.

3. I'm beseeching a higher authority. Give me Fogel's key, please. I'm deriving satisfaction that this is the manner in which I'm spending my time, and the positive impact doing well at said game will have on my life is incidental at best, so it fits most definitions of a game.

Okay you can't have Fogel's key, because (he?) worked so hard to earn it. Instead, I have duplicated the third key. There are now two copies of it, and you have one.

For your altruistic outlook, you are given the meta-item "goggles". With these, you can protect your eyes from exposure to most harmful chemicals.

1. Not really.

2. I will take Chwoka to safety, because there are 24 of him and he would therefore result in the most bonus points for civilians saved. (That's Chwoka, not ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆, for the record.)

3. By heroically overcoming my innate desire to never interact with other human beings.

4. Webster's Google defines a game as "A form of play or sport, especially a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck." I think we can all agree that nobody in this thread is particularly skillful, lucky, or strong. So no, this is definitely not a game. This is deadly serious.

Your answers to these questions have endeared you to me. You are now in the INNER CIRCLE. the INNER CIRCLE is populated by creatures most foul, but you are under her holy protection.

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Spoiler

Schazer has produced a goblin! And what a lovely green it is.

Schazer has been given the FOURTH MASTER KEY: The Key of RumHam (included is also your copy of the third key, the key of the beatles)

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Spoiler

You have only to gain control of the 5th key in order to unlock the Master Chest!! Others, do not let Schazer pull so far ahead! You will feel nothing but stinging regret when your flesh has turned to sand.

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Spoiler

_{what's this fellow's name}

That's Tiberius Kingsley, Father of Goopy. He is splendorous.

For producing an image of Tiberius, you may ask a series of NO MORE THAN 5 yes or no questions about the whereabouts of the 5th key.

yessssssssss

Do the contents of the Master Chest bestow protection on me and the anybodies I would try to protect?

If yes, do the contents of the Master Chest protect from a destruction brought about by the opening of the Master Chest?

yessssssssss

Do the contents of the Master Chest bestow protection on me and the anybodies I would try to protect?

If yes, do the contents of the Master Chest protect from a destruction brought about by the opening of the Master Chest?

Protection is a funny thing. Some might say the best protection is the fear of mutually assured destruction.. I wouldn't say that, though.

The Master Chest will not destroy you. I have spoken to she that is among us, and she has promised safe passage for the one who has acquired all the keys.

Is the 5th master Key the Don Key? Will I be punished for mentioning a pack animal

Is the 5th master Key the Don Key? Will I be punished for mentioning a pack animal

You won't be punished again for 12 hours.

Your guess is very amusing. In some ways, you could argue it's the Don Key, but not in the sense that it's a pun meaning donkey..

do you sleep

is it the mafia don key? is it the don pardo key

What is a key?

Thank you very much for the key! I appreciate it.

1. Do you feel ready?

2. Who will you take with you to safety when the bloodbath begins?

3. What are you actively doing to win this game? Is it even a game?

1. I feel ready, yeah. At least as ready as I can be.

2. Everyone I can, yes I know this answer has already been used but I was thinking it before I read that.

3. Very little. If this is a game, I'm mostly following it passively. I was curious about what you would do if I asked politely for a key, so I did that. This may have moved me closer to a form of victory, but this was incidental to my goals.

Thank you once again for the key, by the way.

Oh, and in response to your later question, yes I do go by "he".

Do you have a preferred pronoun? I ask this both in the sense of a pronoun that you would like to have applied to you and in the sense of a favorite pronoun in general.

do you sleep

Yes, and that's usually the main reason why I'm not continuously furthering my own heinous agenda

is it the mafia don key? is it the don pardo key

No, No

What is a key?

A crude depiction, conjured in adobe photoshop, that is merely representative

Thank you very much for the key! I appreciate it.

1. I feel ready, yeah. At least as ready as I can be.

2. Everyone I can, yes I know this answer has already been used but I was thinking it before I read that.

3. Very little. If this is a game, I'm mostly following it passively. I was curious about what you would do if I asked politely for a key, so I did that. This may have moved me closer to a form of victory, but this was incidental to my goals.

Thank you once again for the key, by the way.

Oh, and in response to your later question, yes I do go by "he".

Do you have a preferred pronoun? I ask this both in the sense of a pronoun that you would like to have applied to you and in the sense of a favorite pronoun in general.

I'm he. My favorite pronoun is "nothing", although according to the grammar website I just pulled that off of, it's an indefinite pronoun.

For not making victory an obvious goal, you have been given a VICTORY BOOST. Every time you post, you will receive DOUBLE the VICTORY POINTS (the quantification and measurement of these are entirely secret, even from me)

<sub>1. do you know where the fifth key is?

2. as someone who likes to sit back and watch other people having fun, am I allowed to opt out of the key quest if I find out where it is and let others go to it?

3. "it's not the destination, it's the journey," pop pop always said - would getting to the place where the fifth key is be a fun and rewarding journey?

4. would I need a passport?

5. should I pack lightly?</sub>

1. yes
2. yes!
3. yes
4. no
5. yes

A further hint: The key is actually just an image file that I need to upload to a hosting website. The "location" is... very near to my heart. The 5th key is the most handsome key.

the goblin wants the president and also the last cookie in the cookie jar how do I put an end to this tyranny and how do I get the president

You are already well on your way. For admitting your nefarious plot, you have been given the ability to GENERATE CHAOS. Pick one person who has posted in this thread, (it could be you, me, or anyone else), to receive a healthy dose of CHAOS.

Can I force bigro to give me the chaos?

@Credit: You may certainly bigro to bestow the CHAOS upon you, yes.

Here's a question for you all:

Should Schazer simply be given the 5th and final key?

how do you feel about my best friend sonic the hedgehog?

have you read cucumber quest?

Schazer shouldn't be given the key because schazer does not deserve special treatment and also the key distribution right now is 50% male and 50% female we need some more distribution of keys right now, perhaps the final key should go to someone who is not in the gender binary if only-thats me

how do you feel about my best friend sonic the hedgehog?

have you read cucumber quest?

I think sonic is okay. I can respect his desire to go fast, but I can't abide his love of chili dogs.

I have not read any veggie tales

What can you abide by

Do you have any laws

What format is the image?

Schazer should not simply be given the final key. That would be too anticlimactic.

i feel hurt, why have you made me feel so hurt?