Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

I guess I'm going to do this.

Shank: Spacetime Anomaly

To be fair, lobsters don't make very effective guns.

(Oh right, in case anyone's wondering, that was not a dayactivation, just shenanigans.)

CONTINEWS

CUT TO CAMERA ONE

"Good Morning, and welcome back to the Vista Paolo Breaking News Broadcast. Joining you more than just daily now, I'm Quentin Blakesworthy. Now to our reporter, live on the scene."

CUT TO CAMERA FIVE

"Well Al, I'm up here in the news chopper near the roof of the hotel, and this anomaly is just going crazy! The science guy in the back is screaming something about energy readings and getting the hell out of here.

Good thing my pilot Rick has nerves of steel!

Don't worry, we're going to get this all on camera for the folks back home! Just tell my darling Janet that I-"

Anomaly 94... 97... 100%

CAMERAS UNAVAILABLE

The anomaly implodes, tearing NEWSCOPTER ™ and the top six floors of the Vista Paolo's finest hotel out of this plane of reality. While the viewers on the ground can't seem to make much out, they certainly hear... something.

Warning: Loud Parts

I'M OUT

MalkyTop was the nicest sentient wormhole on the other side of the galaxy. Problem was, some jerk had kidnapped her, shrunk her down and left her trapped on a tiny ball of rock on the wrong side of it. Apparently they thought she could hoover up these 'humans' and eject them into space?

In fact, she was attached to a super-cool pocket dimension. Shame her kidnapper wasn't interested in listening, just up and vanished and so she was stuck in some 'tropical resort', whatever that meant. She just wanted to escape all this chaos and get back to her life as a functionally immortal space construct.

MalkyTop was a SENTIENT WORMHOLE.

If she was chosen for the groupshank, she would win, leave the game, and VANISH everyone on her lynch for the following night and day.

Each night, she could personally attempt to HOOVER UP one person in their sleep. This would make them VANISH for the night, rendering them immune to all other player actions until they reappeared sometime on the following day.

Anyone trying to SHANK her would instead be HOOVERED UP by her spacetastic presence, similarly VANISHING them until sometime during the following day. If she HOOVERED UP more than five players, her pocket dimension would OVERLOAD and implode on the following day, severing her connection to this plane and thereby ‘killing’ her.

Her win conditions were to be groupshanked or to be the last or second-to-last player standing.


And then the anomaly is gone, sky clear. Apart from the six figures and two packages falling out of it. To their collective relief they land in the grand cushion of VEST MOUNTAIN.

TehPilot, Loather, Garuru, Mister Visceral, speedchuck and anacreon have reappeared!

Two Packages have dropped out of the sky! The announcer hops out to bury them in VEST MOUNTAIN while scrambling to fill out anomaly-implosion-related paperwork.

There are currently NO PACKAGE ELECTIONS.

With 58 players alive, it takes 30 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Deadline has been extended! Day now ends at 12:00 AM EST on Sunday, July 20, or in ~56 hours!

(EDIT) Well that happened

So like, did all six of you try to kill Malkytop?
How vicious.

What a cool wormhole.

VINCE DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO

Red709 - 9 (Solaris, Dragon Fogel, Pharmacy, cyber95, Palamedes, makerofthegames, Red709, x1372, amosmyn)
Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Sanzh, Sotek, SupahKiven)
Granolaman - 6 (Acionyx, BlazerC, beruru, Everanix, Phish, Coldblooded)
makerofthegames - 4 (Whimbrel, ICan'tGiveCredit, druplesnubb, Granolaman)
amosmyn - 2 (Dalmationer, Demonsul)
"Anomaly" - 2 (Chwoka, Crowstone)
"the spacetime anomaly" - 2 (antisequitur, Truegreen)
Dalmationer - 1 (antisequitur)
Pick Yer Poison - 1 (Fragowump)
Schazer - 1 (Gnauga)
"Anyone opposed to creating a shankproof mech" - 1 (Sai)
- 1 (Bigro)
Akumu - 1 (Pharas)
Whimbrel - 1 (AgentBlue)
druplesnubb - 1 (Not The Author)
"Elvis" - 1 (yd12k)
"disney xd" - 1 (Ixcaliber)
Scoffles - 1 (konec0)

Abstaining - 11 (Akumu, Seedy, Niall, Deviant One, fivex, Prime Intellect, Breadpocalypse, Plaid, Mikeee, Chocolate Pi, Pick Yer Poison)

With 58 players alive, it takes 30 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Day ends at 12:00 AM EST on Sunday, July 20, or in ~55 hours!

Is our whale duel still extant possibility. Is wielding other people considered legal.

Okay, if we're done watching temporal anomalies fall apart, can we get back to the important business of whaleduels? I'm all ready to go here.

I simply wanted to share a copy of the novel I was working on and then I got sucked into some wormhole.

I did win hella stuff from the roulette wheel, though. I think the winnings were lost in transit, however.

Yeah I am making very angry eyes in the direction of those six. How dare you stab such a pleasant spacetime anomaly?

She would've achieved her wincon, too, if it hadn't have been for that lousy Kieros and his


...


Wait what did Kieros do again

What I want to know is how a spacetime anomaly got the funny idea that it was a goddess.

Elect1: Crowsy
Elect2: Solaris

Farewell, anomalky

Oops did that wording mean no package elections right now

GUESS I GOOFED

Well now God only knows who's what and what happens if we shank them.

SHANK: Red709.

Wonder what would of happened if I dayshanked Malky

Yeah I am making very angry eyes in the direction of those six. How dare you stab such a pleasant spacetime anomaly?

Yeah, wtf.

LOATHER, YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!
HUG ME, MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND.
WE WILL NEVER BE SEPARATED AGAIN.

I think the important thing right now is to shank Granola, who has specifically begged for it and has not yet been shanked successfully.

Shank: Granola

Also maybe that goofball.

PHARMS IF YOU COULD MAYBE TRY KILLING ME WITH YOUR NARWHAL WHILE DUELING FOGEL I'D APPRECIATE IT.

I will help you be rid of your mortal coil. Mortal cooooooooooooooooooooil.