You Wake Up In A Bar

hm. May as well post what I've got, then.

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decryption

Easy enough, though a few characters were a tad difficult. Next.



Was stumped, but tried squinting and found progress that-a-ways. green is pretty sure, pink is uncertain.
wasn't something I wanted to risk our customer mentally overhearing, but oh well. Probably too late for that.

NAME was an actual player-controlled being, unlike Helen, and was certainly an example of the dangers they were talking about. However, NAME might bring some of those dangers to bear on you if you rat them out.

Best to just say that you keep your patrons' secrets secret.

REFINING DECRYPTION. PLEASE WAIT.




DECRYPTION SHOULD BE MUCH PLAINER NOW.

I think it might be "lose some of the few things" and "deactivate than stop protecting".

And the first one, maybe "You could easily run through your personality and partition the part of it that can feel empathy. That's how I do it."

REFINING DECRYPTION. PLEASE WAIT.




DECRYPTION SHOULD BE MUCH PLAINER NOW.

The "part of its play" part may be "part of the plan." "find entropy" may be "feel unhappy."

I think the third last letter in the entropy/unhappy isn't a p, although I think that 3rd(?) letter is an h.

You're not really fond of this ultimatum. You're not responsible for ratting people out in the bar for being 'player-controlled'! Why's that such a bad thing, anyway? You're in that category, and you think you've done a pretty damn good job of making people's days better, so far.

Yeah, this just doesn't sit right.









VOOL and Laren speak up, as well. The whole room buzzes with interest on this, and it seems your diplomacy skills have gone a long way.














With the eggs done, having been shirred along with the other ingredients (which you suppose were just baked), you start to plate everything up!







Well, that's another order on your belt, provided you have time later. It's probably not the biggest item on your docket, but it helps to know.




Depricae, however, doesn't seem to be fully vibing with the current situation.










Bave? begins nudging the slightly unsteady melon cup towards Laren's side of the counter with her snoot. Meanwhile, Ziczhz is still trying to reach towards one of the straws, to slurp at the empty cup... loudly. Very loudly.










With that, Arivv manages to direct the rest of the Neck Squad to move the unwieldy, dirty melon cup in-between Laren and Depricae on the counter. Teamwork!






The potatoes and weird meaty fungi-like substance, both chopped up, go on top of the eggs, and you drizzle the rest of the nice-smelling flavorings on top. And that's a finished meal, folks!!

Immediately, Laren lights up like you haven't seen many times today.
















...Though you're still a bit confused as to why the PDA costs money, then.




It seems trive is on your wavelength!














EYE bleep-bloops in complete, baffled incredulity.






Wait! Does that mean they're going? You did have a bit of intrigue you wanted to follow up on with Fixer, but... maybe you could... just think it really hard, and Fixer would retrieve it. Worth a try!








Oh.




The Neck Squad begins to stumble out of their seat, with Arivv doing her best to guide the mass, her legs extending out of the very bottom.










As they begin to walk out, the many-headed Cardli tangle begins calling out in all manners of exclamatory goodbyes.






You wave to Ziczhz!






VOOL extends just far enough to deposit a pile of coins on the counter just as they're yanked away.




You wave again. Neck Squad 1012 have left the bar very satisfied with their service, and approve of your lawful business. You have gained thirty-five red glass tokens.





With that, EYE seems to see it fit to induce yet another prompt for you! It's almost like it's very good at that kind of thing, because that used to be its entire job. (Is it an input aggregator asking for inputs from someone else who is controlled by a different set of inputs? This is hurting your head.)

There's two (doable) orders on your docket, and the night has begun to die down. You suspect that no more patrons will be coming before the morning... at least, not with any good reason. You also wonder where exactly you're supposed to go after everyone leaves?

Bah! Questions for the future. For now...



Cup status: 1 occupied (Depricae's B&A), 4 dirty (Ashen Corrugible, Antimatter Ale, Matterless Mash, TDMB), 1 broken, 3 free
Meloncup status: 1 dirty (HH)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's MSD), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 dirty (Mulled Again Mulligan), 1 free

Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

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Orders
Laren ordered something refreshing.
Status: Nothing yet done.

EYE ordered something that takes a while to drink.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

Still no Lineup update, but you've added some wonderful entries to the Cabinet to read up on! Don't forget to watch those ingredient counts-- wouldn't want to run out of the good stuff. (Psst: running out of the good stuff is actually a sign that you're a good bartender.)

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Author's Notes
So this one got pumped out quicker than I thought it would. I'm happy with just about everything!

This update also marks the point at which there have been over a thousand dialogue boxes, from eighteen different characters. Thanks for sticking it out with me, everyone. This has been more fun than I ever could have imagined, and with the rest of the universe taking its own weird-as-hell routes, I'm endlessly excited to see what else could be behind each door.

You're all the best.

Here's to some more You Wake Up in a Bar!

Let's start EYE's drink, and make it over two turns:
1 part Urgency, then add a Antipodal Shard and shake for the whole turn

Next turn add:
2 parts Water, 1 part Vodka, 1 part Fermented Unicorn Tears, 1 part Molasses, and 1 part Vermouth

dont add urgency or antipodal shard, both of those would probably mess up everything else. water and fermented unicorn tears would probably make it less viscous. as well.

put in the exact opposite of water. tell them you were literally born today

My theory is that the Urgency will become Patience, contributing to taking a long time to drink

why not just add actual Patience then?
also put in some marmalade for viscosity.

add a dead meme

Wait, are we not restricted to the ingredients in The Cabinet?

Wait, are we not restricted to the ingredients in The Cabinet?

oh yeah, dang

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Spoiler>go "asjkgglakajsjskhakdkjas" at EYE

Wait, are we not restricted to the ingredients in The Cabinet?

Nope, you're not! You add new entries to the Cabinet by typing in whatever comes to mind. You can use Cabinet ingredients, of course, but those have limited supply-- eventually you must move on to greener pastures.

Use the cucumbers. Use ALL of the cucumbers.

The Page 15 Recap

Starring: Drinkmaster Greene, Our Collective Protagonist

Hell yeah!! You were born todaysterday!




Wait, that's not your story! You gotta stay consistent on this front.





With that little hiccup solved, you start work on EYE's drink. Approximately a billion ideas rush through your mind all at once, and you struggle to start organizing them. You feel like you can't stick every cool ingredient in there, but you can try and nail the important bits.

First off, you find what looks like some kind of bug, and dunk it in what looks like some kind of galaxy tears. What even.














You recall the Starnet post involving a visitor to a Naeronaus planet, where the people struggled to find a way to sustain themselves in the rapidly shifting universe. Klaxon is... pretty far removed from that.










This is technically true. You've been assigned this post by your 'friend', but you still don't quite know what the future holds. Especially the short-term future. What happens when everyone leaves? Do you... go with them? You're not sure you've got a home.











EYE, of course, butchers every single name terribly. Laren lets out a huff in frustration.




Gotta do your best to intervene-- just as you finally finish up EYE's cobbled-together drink. With all sorts of time-related and highly viscous liquid, as well as an entire bushel of cilantro as a limp umbrella-looking thing, it's finally complete.

The bot seems pleasantly surprised, and leans over to begin taking sips, precariously tipping the cup over, possessing no hands.
















This is... really getting out of hand. Seeing Laren and Klaxon get heated is kind of upsetting, and it always has been. This isn't the place or time, you've decided.








...You can relate, a bit. At least, some parts of you can.








It's starting up again! Gotta nip it in the bud. You wonder a little bit if shutting down discussion routinely like this is really the right thing to do, but... it feels like the natural reaction.







Laren lets out a sputtery sigh, sinking a bit into the counter. She's been nibbling at her massive dinner all the while, but the repeated frustration seems to be attacking her appetite, more than anything.






Well, there goes another turn. You can't say it was the most perfect of outcomes, but you feel good about EYE's finished order!

And... well, you have to face it for yourself. While you don't always allow puzzle-solving to happen in the bar, especially from Klaxon, you can't deny that it piques at least some of your interest-- it certainly has in the past. Solving nigh-indecipherable riddles and coaxing information out of a screeching honkit has been fun, and things only continue to build.

Laren's order seems to be the last for the night. After completing this order, you'll gain your fourth bartending level, at which point progression will slow by half. One more to dunk down the Cabinet-hole.

Here goes.



Cup status: 1 occupied (EYE's INTY), 5 dirty (Ashen Corrugible, Antimatter Ale, Matterless Mash, TDMB, Bright and Air-ly), 1 broken, 2 free
Meloncup status: 1 dirty (HH)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's MSD), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 dirty (Mulled Again Mulligan), 1 free

Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

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Orders
Laren ordered something refreshing, to keep her up late.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

Here's a heavy helping of Cabinet entries for your foray into time-bending shenanigans! You're becoming a regular ol' chronomancer, if you keep on this path. Or maybe you're just a bartender. Who knows? Good going either way, Greene.

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Author's Notes
So I had a weird week. Sort of fell into a depressive spiral that was... unpleasant to try and get out of, especially since I didn't have the energy to actually try to get out of it. But I really do get a lot of satisfaction out of finishing these things, even if they don't always come out on a schedule I'm happy with. Maybe the problem is that I don't properly set goals, and just get anxiety over not working on something at any given time.

Anyhow.

I want to thank Myeth again for all his contributions to this adventure, the massive load of work and intense eye for detail which have brought everything to life. YWUIAB wouldn't be here without Myeth's work, and it certainly wouldn't have the same charm and aesthetic that his drawings have achieved. He's taking a little break now, which is great-- we've got a backlog, and an upcoming project on the side that will relate very closely to the adventure!

Look for that little project later today, yeah?

Things have always been a little weird, making this whole thing. But it's genuinely been such a good experience. As this first day of You Wake Up in a Bar winds down, I hope you all have had a good experience with it, too.

Ask EYE if it'd like a straw or something, judging by the Cabinet description Everflame is not something we'd like to spill.

Laren can have something along the lines of an Irish coffee. Freshly pressed coffee, whiskey aged in a cask made from Saint Patrick's Ash-Staff-Tree, pistolwhipped cream, garnish with candied four-leaf clovers.

Laren can have something along the lines of an Irish coffee. Freshly pressed coffee, whiskey aged in a cask made from Saint Patrick's Ash-Staff-Tree, pistolwhipped cream, garnish with candied four-leaf clovers.

And just a tiny splash of maple syrup or caramel, since she likes things sweet. (And since those are oh so good with good whiskey)

Although, that may be more relaxing than refreshing. As an alternative, we could get her some nice iced tea, with a caffeine pill dissolved in it to supplement the naturally weak caffeination of the tea (and her likely tolerance to it).

straight-up dissolve cocaine in laren's drink. not even trace amounts like that old-school coca-cola wimp shit. and not even crazy space cocaine. also squeeze an entire tube of toothpaste in, but crazy space toothpaste

add a pinch of Sugarpep, that should do the trick.
...maybe not add the cocaine. or use the coca-cola grade cocaine if we must. and only a tiny bit. and give them some warning first, so we can avoid another blackout incident/not add any if they say no.

okay ecstasy then. pop some molly