You Wake Up In A Bar

Keep it cool, plant cowboy. No time passes when you're gone. Nobody notices when that blip of nonexistence strikes your multifaceted face. Drinkmaster Greene is a manifold which never stops living. When all the inputs which cause you to live end up dying, that's the only time you are allowed to mourn. When the people behind the forum posts finally succumb to entropy, so, too, will this player-controlled being. Until that very moment, do you not feel your infinite form?

You begin prepping Klaxon Veraxon's drink. Blood is an obvious prerequisite, as is the bottle of Ale of Beginnings with triver name on it-- but you also suppose trive might like one of these 'memoria plums', labelled in a sealed container by the back of your bar. Looking into the surface of the fruit is... a bit mind-numbing, so you put it aside until you're ready to serve.











Urp! Urp! Maybe that's not a good topic for discussion! You were sort of trying to keep that whole thing in the past. Let's steer away from this dealio.








Vebbin hovers gently around his seat, having finished his drink. He seems just generally tired, more than anything.












Ziczhz explodes in enthusiasm when you start rattling off human music facts. The hottest sauce layer of his drink was driving him to the point of jittery glee and bouts of smoky flame before, but as he waves his neck-head in the air to the heavily percussive instrumental of Dope on Plastic, it's easy to tell he has gone way over his excitement quota.




Bave? steps in?








Vebbin laughs, his voice creaking like a broken piece of furniture in complete, manic, exhausted glee.












Nadezhda slumps forth a bit. She's been struck with a slightly bemused grin, and while her drink hasn't 'knocked her out' or anything, it's certainly had a bit of a numbing effect.












You light up a bit. Actually, screw it, you light up a lot! Today's been a little rocky, but by the end of it, you managed to make the bug pair happy-- and that makes a little fire in your cellulose heart.




The patrons at the bar begin to wave goodbye with a varied collection of limbs.


















As the two bugs step out, they wave back, leaning on each other just a tad.




Voronezh and Nadezhda have left the bar very happy, with Nadezhda as satisfied as possible. You have gained sixty red glass tokens.

By coincidence, you've finished Klaxon's drink right as the bugs leave. You glance over to triv and slide the glass over, as well as the plum.

Stax seems to recognize it.






















As you speak, another patron pushes open the bar door, not long after Voronezh and Nadezhda's exit. The lurching, many-eyed figure hoists a floating, slightly transparent tube on its backside, which seems to have a small amount of viscous fluid flowing through it-- into the creature. It nods slowly to the other patrons, and sluggishly takes a seat, as if preparing to leave again.

There we go-- another order!

Things seem to be shaping up. The night's getting wee, and you can't imagine too many more patrons after this.

Time to work as hard as you can before getting to... sleep?



Cup status: 1 occupied (Klaxon's TDMV), 3 dirty (Ashen Corrugible, Antimatter Ale, Matterless Mash), 1 broken, 4 free
Meloncup status: 1 occupied (Hydra Hydration)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's WIP [1/3] ), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 dirty (Mulled Again Mulligan), 1 free

Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

Show Content

Orders
Laren ordered some dinner.
Status: An omelette dish, 1/3rd done, getting cold.

Stax ordered an ice cream sandwich of some kind.
Status: 1/3rd made, but then abandoned. Currently nonexistent.

Depricae ordered a siklikall drink.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

Another drink down the memory-hole, and a host of new interesting ingredients to play with inside. You've also gained an entry on Depricae with the addition of its intro card!

Show Content

Author's Notes
I'm sorry for the delay, y'all. I'm graduating in exactly one (1) day, so I've been busy with a lot of peripheral stuff. It's weird, though-- I never can justify stopping work on YWUIAB, even if it's perfectly justifiable. Easy to berate myself for taking a breath and relaxing even when I know I need it.

Anyhow. I did my best to work on mental health while making this, and I'm superbly happy with the update. I hope it's enjoyable!

I am once again taking any and all species/patron/lore/art prompts for YWUIAB! If you'd like to drop a patron in, or have a fun idea for a species in this grand and vast universe, or anything like that, feel free to post it in the thread or PM me if you'd like to keep it a surprise! <3

Alright, our new client can wait. We have an omelette to make.

Show Content

Spoiler
Will see about getting a certain pile of burned-bones ready.
Could use a bit more work before they go a bar-huntin.

Show Content

Spoiler
Congraduations! Me too!

Finely grind a Matterhorn Chunk, mix it with water, and add an Antipodal Shard. Mix the resulting glowing, ultralight substance with Urgency-stabilized Liquid Helium.

I think a Silklikall would need something along the lines of Seric Syrup or a dash of Dr. Bombyx's Cocoon-Liqueur Ailment-Concoction.

Both of those are quite thick and almost slimy though, which might not suit our client's delicate digestion - either add trace amounts of it or use another ingredient to thin it out.

we can make this guy's drink real quicklike: 12 parts tap water, alka-seltzer, on the rocks

as for the tunes, it's clearly a bad idea to keep going but that's not the same as saying "chwoka, stop" or ziczhz leaving. so here's a song that mentions the year in the opening line

I agree with arcanuse. We should resume work on laren's dinner.

I just caught up. What an amazing adventure, kilozombie! Thanks for the great read so far.

>We should put serious work into Stax's icecream sandwich, and save the massage for the end of the day (that was a thing, right?).

A beat passes.

You get some great ideas for an ultra-light drink after close examination of The Cabinet! Sure, water's a good idea-- but liquid helium, some stabilization, and the opposite of something incredibly heavy (antipodal shard plus matterhorn chunk) all seem like fantastic additions. You start by putting the aforementioned shard in the Unshaken, then crushing a matterhorn chunk to sprinkle inside after it.








You retrieve something else you'd been cooking up under the bar, by the radio.







Arivv squirms a bit, trying to contain Ziczhz's excitement within the neck squad.








Suddenly, after enjoying triver drink for a bit, Klaxon sits up straight, clutching the star-filled plum in one hand, and glancing around the bar. Trive seems... rather stunned, for some reason, triver eye going wide.




You lean forwards, curious.








Laren reaches around the Cardli neck squad to try and reassure Klaxon, holding triver shoulder.







Vebbin seems quite fed up. You can relate. This is a little too chaotic for your tastes, and you've never been fond of very blatant, obnoxious sideplots.










Suddenly, the Homeowner floats up out of his chair.






But it's no use. In a single frustrated motion, Vebbin has floated out of the bar satisfied with his drink but completely unsatisfied with the other patrons.

Stax stands up, too, frowning.








Stax has left the bar, having had an overall good day at the Starwood Bough, to run after Vebbin. He'll be back another time. You have gained thirty red glass tokens.




You take a long breath. That was out of your control completely, but it still feels frustrating to have people leave in a huff. You did your best for Vebbin, and yet...










Speaking of which. Amidst the chaos, you did manage to finish Depricae's order-- and you're pretty damn proud of the result.

The CES scout lights up almost immediately, seemingly embarassed and ecstatic about the display-- astounded that you'd put such care into its drink.






Still, Laren is remarking over the events of the past minute, hunched over the table, making circles in the wood with her finger.












The idea of Laren's order comes to mind again. Maybe that'd be a good distraction!








As the discussion wraps up, however, another patron enters the bar, pushing open the door with its long, giraffe-like head. Atop its neck, its crystalline, angular head cycles through four colors at an astonishing rate-- and its two eyes, which appear as a one and a zero, glance around interestedly.

Bave? investigates first, as the unknown patron approaches the bar.

Well, that's troubling. Yet another order coinciding with Laren's meal. You just can't catch a break!

Time to work out a strategy.



Cup status: 2 occupied (Klaxon's TDMV, Depricae's B&A), 3 dirty (Ashen Corrugible, Antimatter Ale, Matterless Mash), 1 broken, 3 free
Meloncup status: 1 occupied (Hydra Hydration)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's WIP [1/3] ), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 dirty (Mulled Again Mulligan), 1 free

Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

Show Content

Orders
Laren ordered some dinner.
Status: An omelette dish, 1/3rd done, cold.

EYE ordered something that takes a while to drink.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

After finishing Depricae's rather strenuous order, you've gained a handful of new ingredients in The Cabinet, as well as EYE's information in The Lineup! In addition, thanks to your contributions to the YWUNIVERSE mashup known as Irregular Pulse, you now have 18 new entries on characters that have not yet been seen in You Wake Up in a Bar.

Show Content

Author's Notes
This took longer than expected. Sorry about that. I got a sudden bout of writer's block, and by the time I was ready to continue this adventure, I was visiting family for a week!

During that time, I made something called Irregular Pulse. You can check it out with the other YWUNIVERSE side-projects in the first post of this thread. It's not necessary for understanding anything, and I've done my best to ensure that it's just a side venture, but it's packed past the brim with lore and snippet-stories. If you like piecing together puzzles... Irregular Pulse might be for you. If not, don't sweat!

Meanwhile, Myeth hits it out of the park and beyond with EYE's art. I'm still noticing new details even now. So good. Thanks again, Myeth.

i don't think EYE will mind the delay while we finish laren's meal. it's there for delay!

let's get the radio way back to normal in the hopes of getting the bar back to normal. green rooftops, thelonious monk

Something that's hot, and stays hot, such that only a little bit can be drunk at a time.

Prepare a glass by getting a Last Word to put in the bottom, as with a customer like this it'll be sure to drag out the whole beverage for a while.

1 part Everflame
1 part Condensed Chronoliquer
2 parts Fractal Apple Cider

ACTUALLY given how obnoxious this guy threatens to be maybe adding something that alters its perception of time would mean it "feels" like the time spent in the bar is much longer than it would normally perceive?

In which case we should grab a dead housefly from nearby cobweb, and surreptitiously dunk it in a shot of Perspective Vortex Tears, adding the infused Tears to the concoction

alright if we're just making a recipe i'll pitch in on the specific condition that this should wait for two updates or so. lowest priority

wine as a basis. we're gonna put an entire bundle of cilantro in there as if it's a drink umbrella. we could make it thick but we're using too much matterhorn and it's boring. so instead a vital ingredient of this drink is going to be a short-lived bacteria that evolves to survive in whatever you put it in, rapidly by evolutionary standards but not really all that quick, so that it won't be ready to drink until it's sat for quite a long while. also let's put a wristwatch in there

>add some honey for viscosity

Yeah I am very quick to make drink concoction suggestions but do agree we should get Laren's meal done first.

(We've currently got for it: Sauteed cherries, cucumber, beaten eggs)

Fry up some potatoes and something with a salty/savory flavor like bacon/mushrooms/space umami, set the oven, find a premade/frozen pastry case, add cheese cream and seasonings to the eggs, pour the whole delicious mess into the pastry case and pop it in the oven until it's set.

Just make a drink thats real funky (in a bad way)
So funked up that if you drink too much at a time you turn inside out

So basically just serve them mayonnaise, straight up mayonnaise not even taken out of the jar

Just make a drink thats real funky (in a bad way)
So funked up that if you drink too much at a time you turn inside out

So basically just serve them mayonnaise, straight up mayonnaise not even taken out of the jar

I support giving Eye a container of mayonaise as a pre-drink while we're cooking Laren's meal before we actually get round to a concoction for it

Back to normal-- yes, that's all you can hope for. You'd be perfectly happy to return the bar back to its jazzy, swingy mood, and you're pretty sure getting Laren's meal done first would be a great start to that, along with some tunes that feel less... blue.

Spotting what you'd already completed for her breakfast, your next step is some of the spacetatoes contained in a sack at the edge of the bar, as well as an assortment of spices and flavorings. You start to chop up the root veggie and heat up the stove as the bar gets into rapidfire conversation, as you've just come to expect by now.












With the spacetatoes chopped up, you start to pan-fry them, making sure to dump in things that look like they'd taste good. You figure that the more, the merrier.




Fixer erupts into some hissing, static-filled noise, staring directly at EYE. The air is filled with this terrifying sound for only a moment, but it seems to do something to the Input Aggregator.










EYE is snapped back to reality, and it looks painful.





Meanwhile, Ziczhz seems to be in conflict with the rest of the Neck Squad-- squirming around, clutching the mixtape in the corner of his mouth.

























To spruce up the cold eggs, you've made plans to bake them with your potatoes and some more seasoning, using a pastry case as a container. This is really coming together!
















EYE chuckles. Its voice wavers a bit, vocoded.












You decide that, amidst this conversation and your work on Laren's breakfast, you could do something quick to tide EYE over, as it seems a bit... well, off kilter? Something like that. One of your two jars of mayonnaise ought to do! This won't add anything to your Cabinet entries, but it should help keep morale up.






Well, it's not a literal jar of...








EYE suddenly stiffens up, and glances towards you, like a flood of something has arrived in its mind. While not losing its somewhat facetious chipper demeanor, it seems to have gotten a little more lucid, as it begins to scarf down mayo with a crystalline extrusion that resembles a straw.




To this, Klaxon also stiffens up-- trive doesn't seem to like the sound of the phrase 'PCB'.










Everyone in the bar seems to have their attention set on either you or Klaxon, now, hoping for a response.




Now doesn't seem like a very convenient time to be yourself.



Cup status: 2 occupied (Klaxon's TDMV, Depricae's B&A), 3 dirty (Ashen Corrugible, Antimatter Ale, Matterless Mash), 1 broken, 3 free
Meloncup status: 1 dirty (HH)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's WIP [1/3] ), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 dirty (Mulled Again Mulligan), 1 free

Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

Show Content

Orders
Laren ordered some dinner.
Status: An egg-and-potatoes baked meal, 2/3rds done, cooking.

EYE ordered something that takes a while to drink.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

Although you haven't added any new entries to the Cabinet or Lineup, they're still here for you to check out and review:

Show Content

Author's Notes
Slightly less intense update this time around! Some lore on EYE as well as the universe around.

either be honest or tell them it was helen

Oh-ho, new material for decrypting... Oh, right.
Deflect attention towards the honkit, Helen. Players cause their characters to do all sorts of weird stuff, right? It would explain so much about their behavior.

Edit: Interesting. Let Fixer know we would like a word later. There's a certain matter we should discuss. Or... Think that you want a word with Fixer some time? Preferably that, but either works if needed.

dont think too hard dont think too hard dont think too hard HELEN

Im so so so so so so sorry helen

Well if we lie it could screw stuff up later, so tell the truth.

"I don't really know any of you? I just got here literally today, why are you expecting me to know which patron was a player-controlled being. Sure, I could think of some suspects, but it's rude to condemn someone you hardly know about. I only learned of the existence of PCBs today! So... don't ask me."

"As long as patrons behave themselves, everyone is welcome."

>Continue working on Lauren's breakfast.

CIPHERTEXT DETECTED

DECRYPTING IN PROGRESS...
SOME ARTIFACTS AND UNTRANSLATABLES MAY BE PRESENT.

DECRYPTION COMPLETE.



HAVE A NICE DAY.

what if, i just,
==>