Post making contest 6.0

Welcome to Big Numbers (MBN 101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101)! Enjoy!

This is update #283

• Day 62: okay I have not played this game in like a month and am not totally au fait with this keyboard yet but whatever I'm in the mood for some Cook Serve Delicious let's dive right in
  
• I fiddled the menu about so that it's burgers, salads, beer and ice cream I should be fine right
  
• it's not like there's still a little leftover buzz from the extra star
  
• uh
  
• oh and there's a safety inspection today as well apparently jolly good
  
• I FUCKED UP ON THE SIXTH DISH BECAUSE WHAT IS CHEESE
  
• (baby don't hurt me)
  
• I am so terribly grateful for the burger whose recipe name is literally the keys you have to press to serve it correctly thank you muchly BLOT
  
• I SURVIVED THE LUNCHTIME RUSH HOUR
  
• (and all I got was this lousy combo)
  
• so I only fucked up that one order for the entire day somehow
  
• Day 63: Janet would like some help in funding production of THE SCRUBBER
  
• her email does not entirely replicate that capitalisation but I felt it necessary and also gave her a grand and a half so yeah
  
• okay well the burger had immediate menu rot so I've swapped it for the lasagne in the hopes that I can survive on PSCR alone
  
• THIS IS A BAD TIME FOR A ROBBERY
  
• WHAT IS THE KEY FOR NOSES PLEASE SEND HELP MY LASAGNE IS BURNING
  
• the lasagne burnt :<
  
• (it's occurring to me as I write this that I probably could have served it even while dispensing justice, but oh well)
  
• yeah so the rest of the day went okay, but not great, and apparently my frantic doodle sketch was not sufficient for the local law enforcement so I'm now down $400 as well
  
• boooooo
  
• Day 64: I gotta progress at some point, so I went out and bought the fish. An instant upgrade makes it just as profitable as my other top dishes and it would appear to be even easier than the lasagne... which begs the question of why I hadn't done this earlier...
  
• oh look you can hit all three arrow keys simultaneously and it counts that's ridiculously easy
  
• SO LONG AS YOU REMEMBER TO SEASON THE FISH GODDAMMIT
  
• okay fine I can live with one non-perfect order a day that's only one order away from perfection that's fine
  
• Day 65: there's a new burger upgrade that really ups its price and now I'm curious
  
• now that is some wholesome hole-some Swiss cheese right there
  
• oh yeah THE SCRUBBER arrived today and immediately throws off my dishwashing rhythm what a wonderful purchase I made there
  
• update on the C-BLOT: turns out there are at least three recipe cards with such a delightful property BUT I STILL FUCKED ONE UP
  
• Day 66: customers are apparently going to be extra-patient today so let's try something new
  
• oh yeah I was gonna swap out ice cream for another desert sometime so pancakes you're up
  
• I upgraded you all the way to max before your first outing don't screw this up for me
  
• BLUEBERRY IS L AND PECAN IS E
  
• also I was NOT PREPARED FOR THE CONCEPT OF PEOPLE NOT WANTING BUTTER AAAAAAHH
  
• x68 COMBO FIRST PERFECT DAY THIS SESSION AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• Day 67: some guy named Bob wants to put a statue of a fish in my lobby yep sure mate here's your $3000 do whatever man
  
• BURGERS AND PANCAKES AT RUSH HOUR: NOT AN ASTOUNDING COMBINATION
  
• fun fact if you put too many patties on the grill for a burger recipe but still only use the correct number when plating up you don't get penalised that is comfortably kind
  
• x71 COMBO BACK IN THE GAME
  
• Day 68: so a guy called James would like to date and I have two problems with what he presumably thought would be his good first impression:
  
• 1) LOOK AT THAT LANGUAGE "I hope our romantic entanglement is imminent soon posthaste" AND SO ON
  
• 2) HE WANTS SOUP
  
• ...but if I bought it and didn't upgrade it, there are only two recipes, and even if they aren't hugely intuitive (press W for bowtie noodles) I can just learn them...
  
• fuck it I gotta soup sometime might as well do it now while it's useful
  
• gosh I need to buy a stove and everything you better be worth it mister
  
• THAT WAS NOT WORTH IT
  
• SOUP TAKES TIIIIIIIIIIIME
  
• also: that was not the right picture at the top of the screen when I was texting James and I hit the wrong option at one point so basically NOPE
  
• Day 69: "To whoever keeps changing the keyboard layout from Qwerty to Dvorak, please go ugjt yourself" I LOVE THE SPAM IN THIS GAME
  
• GUESS WHO'S BACK?!
  
• Crazy Dave reckons I can't get more than $100 in tips today and honestly I don't know either I haven't been keeping track of tips
  
• let's just cram my menu full of the items with the extra tipping modifier and serve 'em as fast as possible, eh?
  
• THAT WAS A MISTAKE I HAVE NEVER SCREWED UP SO MANY ORDERS
  
• WHY DID I PUT BURGERS, LASAGNE AND FISH ON AT THE SAME TIME
  
• also I made $94 in tips rip me
  
• yeah that's me done for now I think

End of message.

Did you know that I
have to do my work and should
stop this bad haiku?

I must inquire: were
you aware that is is not
a proper haiku?

i bet i can write
a very inaccurate
haiku

This is a haiku.
This is not a haiku.
A contradiction.

This is hint #1.

For puzzle #1, The Alphabet:

SpoilerShow

but

(yes that is the entirety of the hint)

End of message.

SWARM THEORY

SWARM THEORY

SWARM THEORY

(I was expecting pictures and feel a little disappointed, tbh)

i won

This is update #284.

"Can we kinkshame Quiplash?" - Kíeros
"This is a pro-vore environment" - me
"I don't think it's technically vore if it's, like, babies" - Malky
"the rumour is out: does Griffin McElroy is furry?" - Pumpkin
"it's hip to fuck bees" - Pumpkin
"I'm going to pick this answer 'cause it's important to me" - Reyweld
"It's okay if you experience sexual awakening during [Tee-KO]" - Malky

End of message.

Post making contest has become the ghost making contest

Honestly, this is probably for the best

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly*, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

*hopefully in a couple of hours?

SpoilerShow

√3 Ridiculous Rutabaga

You know what I'm going to just give you rule 3

i have been tricked! the wool has been pulled over my eyes!

Passes none of the rules

Welcome to Big Numbers (MBN 101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101)! Enjoy!

Passes rules 1 and 2

This is update #283

• Day 62: okay I have not played this game in like a month and am not totally au fait with this keyboard yet but whatever I'm in the mood for some Cook Serve Delicious let's dive right in
  
• I fiddled the menu about so that it's burgers, salads, beer and ice cream I should be fine right
  
• it's not like there's still a little leftover buzz from the extra star
  
• uh
  
• oh and there's a safety inspection today as well apparently jolly good
  
• I FUCKED UP ON THE SIXTH DISH BECAUSE WHAT IS CHEESE
  
• (baby don't hurt me)
  
• I am so terribly grateful for the burger whose recipe name is literally the keys you have to press to serve it correctly thank you muchly BLOT
  
• I SURVIVED THE LUNCHTIME RUSH HOUR
  
• (and all I got was this lousy combo)
  
• so I only fucked up that one order for the entire day somehow
  
• Day 63: Janet would like some help in funding production of THE SCRUBBER
  
• her email does not entirely replicate that capitalisation but I felt it necessary and also gave her a grand and a half so yeah
  
• okay well the burger had immediate menu rot so I've swapped it for the lasagne in the hopes that I can survive on PSCR alone
  
• THIS IS A BAD TIME FOR A ROBBERY
  
• WHAT IS THE KEY FOR NOSES PLEASE SEND HELP MY LASAGNE IS BURNING
  
• the lasagne burnt :<
  
• (it's occurring to me as I write this that I probably could have served it even while dispensing justice, but oh well)
  
• yeah so the rest of the day went okay, but not great, and apparently my frantic doodle sketch was not sufficient for the local law enforcement so I'm now down $400 as well
  
• boooooo
  
• Day 64: I gotta progress at some point, so I went out and bought the fish. An instant upgrade makes it just as profitable as my other top dishes and it would appear to be even easier than the lasagne... which begs the question of why I hadn't done this earlier...
  
• oh look you can hit all three arrow keys simultaneously and it counts that's ridiculously easy
  
• SO LONG AS YOU REMEMBER TO SEASON THE FISH GODDAMMIT
  
• okay fine I can live with one non-perfect order a day that's only one order away from perfection that's fine
  
• Day 65: there's a new burger upgrade that really ups its price and now I'm curious
  
• now that is some wholesome hole-some Swiss cheese right there
  
• oh yeah THE SCRUBBER arrived today and immediately throws off my dishwashing rhythm what a wonderful purchase I made there
  
• update on the C-BLOT: turns out there are at least three recipe cards with such a delightful property BUT I STILL FUCKED ONE UP
  
• Day 66: customers are apparently going to be extra-patient today so let's try something new
  
• oh yeah I was gonna swap out ice cream for another desert sometime so pancakes you're up
  
• I upgraded you all the way to max before your first outing don't screw this up for me
  
• BLUEBERRY IS L AND PECAN IS E
  
• also I was NOT PREPARED FOR THE CONCEPT OF PEOPLE NOT WANTING BUTTER AAAAAAHH
  
• x68 COMBO FIRST PERFECT DAY THIS SESSION AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• Day 67: some guy named Bob wants to put a statue of a fish in my lobby yep sure mate here's your $3000 do whatever man
  
• BURGERS AND PANCAKES AT RUSH HOUR: NOT AN ASTOUNDING COMBINATION
  
• fun fact if you put too many patties on the grill for a burger recipe but still only use the correct number when plating up you don't get penalised that is comfortably kind
  
• x71 COMBO BACK IN THE GAME
  
• Day 68: so a guy called James would like to date and I have two problems with what he presumably thought would be his good first impression:
  
• 1) LOOK AT THAT LANGUAGE "I hope our romantic entanglement is imminent soon posthaste" AND SO ON
  
• 2) HE WANTS SOUP
  
• ...but if I bought it and didn't upgrade it, there are only two recipes, and even if they aren't hugely intuitive (press W for bowtie noodles) I can just learn them...
  
• fuck it I gotta soup sometime might as well do it now while it's useful
  
• gosh I need to buy a stove and everything you better be worth it mister
  
• THAT WAS NOT WORTH IT
  
• SOUP TAKES TIIIIIIIIIIIME
  
• also: that was not the right picture at the top of the screen when I was texting James and I hit the wrong option at one point so basically NOPE
  
• Day 69: "To whoever keeps changing the keyboard layout from Qwerty to Dvorak, please go ugjt yourself" I LOVE THE SPAM IN THIS GAME
  
• GUESS WHO'S BACK?!
  
• Crazy Dave reckons I can't get more than $100 in tips today and honestly I don't know either I haven't been keeping track of tips
  
• let's just cram my menu full of the items with the extra tipping modifier and serve 'em as fast as possible, eh?
  
• THAT WAS A MISTAKE I HAVE NEVER SCREWED UP SO MANY ORDERS
  
• WHY DID I PUT BURGERS, LASAGNE AND FISH ON AT THE SAME TIME
  
• also I made $94 in tips rip me
  
• yeah that's me done for now I think

End of message.

Passes rule 3, and improbably passes rule 5

Did you know that I
have to do my work and should
stop this bad haiku?

Passes rule 2

I must inquire: were
you aware that is is not
a proper haiku?

Passes none of the rules

i bet i can write
a very inaccurate
haiku

Passes none of the rules

This is a haiku.
This is not a haiku.
A contradiction.

Passes rule 1, nice

This is hint #1.

For puzzle #1, The Alphabet:

SpoilerShow

but

(yes that is the entirety of the hint)

End of message.

I suppose since I let Ix's post pass rule 3, this passes rule 3 as well.

SWARM THEORY

Passes rule 1.

SWARM THEORY

SWARM THEORY

Passes none of the rules

(I was expecting pictures and feel a little disappointed, tbh)

Passes rule 3

i won

Passes rule 2

This is update #284.

"Can we kinkshame Quiplash?" - Kíeros
"This is a pro-vore environment" - me
"I don't think it's technically vore if it's, like, babies" - Malky
"the rumour is out: does Griffin McElroy is furry?" - Pumpkin
"it's hip to fuck bees" - Pumpkin
"I'm going to pick this answer 'cause it's important to me" - Reyweld
"It's okay if you experience sexual awakening during [Tee-KO]" - Malky

End of message.

This post could not have passed all 5 rules. It also could not have passed none of the rules.

Indeed, it passes rule 3.

Post making contest has become the ghost making contest

Passes none of the rules

Honestly, this is probably for the best

Passes none of the rules

Passes rules 1 and 2

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly*, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

*hopefully in a couple of hours?

Passes rule 5 as promised.

This is update #285.

• Day 70: right okay where was I
  
• James wants another date, on the following grounds: "I feel our romance is bubbling like the soup you serve me"
  
• well uh as it happens I went off both James andthe soup the very first day I had them in my life but fuck I gotta put it on the menu
  
• oh I forgot I'm suffering the double click bug right now welp
  
• it would have been REALLY SENSIBLE TO HAVE PRACTICED THE SOUP BEFOREHAND AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• x65 PERFECT COMBO AND I DIDN'T FUCK UP THE TEXTING I AM A GOD
  
• (of FLAILING)
  
• Day 71: oh wait yeah in order to earn my fourth star I have to complete these Iron Cook challenge thingies I should maybe try one
  
• the first one wants me to serve five waves of ice cream and soda how hard can that be
  
• also what's a wave
  
• turns out a wave is eight orders (almost) at once OKAY FINE
  
• yay I did it and got $1200 for my trouble plus two shiny golden tickets of the sort I have legitimately been hoarding so far
  
• next is pizzas, burgers and beer this could be a touch trickier
  
• WHAT'S A PINEAPPLE?
  
• WHAT THE FUCK IS PESTO SAUCE AND WHY IS IT G?
  
• (disclaimer: I know what both of those are I just haven't unlocked them in this game yet)
  
• well I sure had to lean on my two admissable cock-ups there
  
• the third is pasta, wine and lasagne FUCK NO
  
• what even are those first two
  
• okay I could do pasta that's like boil shit first then pick from this decently-keyed list of ingredients maybe I'll give that a go today and see how I fare
  
• benefit to pasta: the boiling time is different to the patty cooking time for burgers so even when I had a cascade of orders come dinnertime they all ended up beautifully staggered wow
  
• x64 PERFECT COMBO
  
• Day 72: Bethany wants to help with with food sanitation on a day that the safety inspector comes so that's an easy couple of grand to drop
  
• Crazy Dave: "So you're good, but I don't think you're a good meat person" uh Dave what do you think I'm made of
  
• actually no don't answer that
  
• anyway he wants me to get a x30 combo with steaks and chicken on my menu, neither of which I serve, so bye for now Dave
  
• oh hey I can buy lemons for my fish
  
• so someone wanted one of those complicated ice creams and specifically didn't want chocolate sauce. I put chocolate sauce on by mistake, so tried to hide it under a covering of strawberry sauce... and it worked!?
  
• x65 PERFECT COMBO WHAT IS THIS
  
• Day 73: oh yeah James still exists shit
  
• THAT SOUP WAS NOT COOKED WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY SERVED IT
  
• welp
  
• oh wait it's past 2am

End of message.

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly*, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

*hopefully in a couple of hours?

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

Do we have any ideas on the current rules? I haven't really been trying to work them out.

This is puzzle #2.

SWARM THEORY

SWARM THEORY is the correct answer to puzzle #1 "The Alphabet"! Congratulations! Just like I said to you however many days ago it was you solved it! But yeah anyway here's another puzzle because apparently I've got a special super-silly PMC puzzle round going here with a meta and everything. This one was written very quickly to replace an idea that was actually too good for this set and so may or may not be horrific. Sorry? Let's call it "Value Judgement"...

1. may contain a goddamn fuckton of inanity
   
2. real good things: dogs, cats, more dogs, more cats, puzzles maybe, sleep sometimes, bed likewise, cats again, kittens
   
3. what the?!
   
4. Wrote:
   
5. it's hush time
   
6. but anyway in case of emergency dial: seven EIGHT nine ten (or was it 3?)
   
7. posting the letter b 3008 times? oh the humanity!
   
8. xyzHEboySarE8ack
   
9. oh wait. hold up. sruix made a POST?!
   
11. bro help me out here what is this fucking flapping thing squawking about the place fuck look at that pointy yellow nose that could have my eye out
    
12. qghs cvbn lkja sdfg bert pkze vhwl tyui kpmd plaw
    
13. but seriously what are birds?! vote: Sruixan until he answers me!
    
14. oh yo what is UP?! i found out today that the sky is green in canada?! what THE fuck?!
    
15. oooooo caaaaaanaaaaaadaaaaaa let's hear it for canada as we officially welcome every single canadian to the space consortium!
    
16. fuck yes i've been wanting the nintendo switch since like when it was the NX lol
    
17. yeah NO aaaaaaaaaaargh
    
18. it's a city in the sky. of course it's magical. that should be a given what with it being a spy city and all come on
    
19. brown cows, vuvuzelas, [oil]: these are the three Rs. see also: da bomb

End of message.

Do we have any ideas on the current rules? I haven't really been trying to work them out.

I don't think there has been any serious effort yet, though I figured I'd test our given rule 5 pass just because... I did have one theory based off of it and the fact my CSD update passed, but then I found a counterexample...

This is update #285.

• Day 70: right okay where was I
  
• James wants another date, on the following grounds: "I feel our romance is bubbling like the soup you serve me"
  
• well uh as it happens I went off both James andthe soup the very first day I had them in my life but fuck I gotta put it on the menu
  
• oh I forgot I'm suffering the double click bug right now welp
  
• it would have been REALLY SENSIBLE TO HAVE PRACTICED THE SOUP BEFOREHAND AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• x65 PERFECT COMBO AND I DIDN'T FUCK UP THE TEXTING I AM A GOD
  
• (of FLAILING)
  
• Day 71: oh wait yeah in order to earn my fourth star I have to complete these Iron Cook challenge thingies I should maybe try one
  
• the first one wants me to serve five waves of ice cream and soda how hard can that be
  
• also what's a wave
  
• turns out a wave is eight orders (almost) at once OKAY FINE
  
• yay I did it and got $1200 for my trouble plus two shiny golden tickets of the sort I have legitimately been hoarding so far
  
• next is pizzas, burgers and beer this could be a touch trickier
  
• WHAT'S A PINEAPPLE?
  
• WHAT THE FUCK IS PESTO SAUCE AND WHY IS IT G?
  
• (disclaimer: I know what both of those are I just haven't unlocked them in this game yet)
  
• well I sure had to lean on my two admissable cock-ups there
  
• the third is pasta, wine and lasagne FUCK NO
  
• what even are those first two
  
• okay I could do pasta that's like boil shit first then pick from this decently-keyed list of ingredients maybe I'll give that a go today and see how I fare
  
• benefit to pasta: the boiling time is different to the patty cooking time for burgers so even when I had a cascade of orders come dinnertime they all ended up beautifully staggered wow
  
• x64 PERFECT COMBO
  
• Day 72: Bethany wants to help with with food sanitation on a day that the safety inspector comes so that's an easy couple of grand to drop
  
• Crazy Dave: "So you're good, but I don't think you're a good meat person" uh Dave what do you think I'm made of
  
• actually no don't answer that
  
• anyway he wants me to get a x30 combo with steaks and chicken on my menu, neither of which I serve, so bye for now Dave
  
• oh hey I can buy lemons for my fish
  
• so someone wanted one of those complicated ice creams and specifically didn't want chocolate sauce. I put chocolate sauce on by mistake, so tried to hide it under a covering of strawberry sauce... and it worked!?
  
• x65 PERFECT COMBO WHAT IS THIS
  
• Day 73: oh yeah James still exists shit
  
• THAT SOUP WAS NOT COOKED WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY SERVED IT
  
• welp
  
• oh wait it's past 2am

End of message.

Passes rule... 3?

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly*, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

*hopefully in a couple of hours?

Passes none of the rules

Hey, I'll grade somewhat shortly, gotta reinstate the lifeblood of this thread at some point.

I know Rule 5 has been passed sometime since my last grading post, but here's another post that passes rule 5.

Passes none of the rules

Do we have any ideas on the current rules? I haven't really been trying to work them out.

Passes none of the rules

This is puzzle #2.

SWARM THEORY

SWARM THEORY is the correct answer to puzzle #1 "The Alphabet"! Congratulations! Just like I said to you however many days ago it was you solved it! But yeah anyway here's another puzzle because apparently I've got a special super-silly PMC puzzle round going here with a meta and everything. This one was written very quickly to replace an idea that was actually too good for this set and so may or may not be horrific. Sorry? Let's call it "Value Judgement"...

1. may contain a goddamn fuckton of inanity
   
2. real good things: dogs, cats, more dogs, more cats, puzzles maybe, sleep sometimes, bed likewise, cats again, kittens
   
3. what the?!
   
4. Wrote:
   
5. it's hush time
   
6. but anyway in case of emergency dial: seven EIGHT nine ten (or was it 3?)
   
7. posting the letter b 3008 times? oh the humanity!
   
8. xyzHEboySarE8ack
   
9. oh wait. hold up. sruix made a POST?!
   
11. bro help me out here what is this fucking flapping thing squawking about the place fuck look at that pointy yellow nose that could have my eye out
    
12. qghs cvbn lkja sdfg bert pkze vhwl tyui kpmd plaw
    
13. but seriously what are birds?! vote: Sruixan until he answers me!
    
14. oh yo what is UP?! i found out today that the sky is green in canada?! what THE fuck?!
    
15. oooooo caaaaaanaaaaaadaaaaaa let's hear it for canada as we officially welcome every single canadian to the space consortium!
    
16. fuck yes i've been wanting the nintendo switch since like when it was the NX lol
    
17. yeah NO aaaaaaaaaaargh
    
18. it's a city in the sky. of course it's magical. that should be a given what with it being a spy city and all come on
    
19. brown cows, vuvuzelas, [oil]: these are the three Rs. see also: da bomb

End of message.

Congratulations! SWARM THEORY passes rule 3!

Unrelatedly, this also passes rule 4 (impressive)

Do we have any ideas on the current rules? I haven't really been trying to work them out.

I don't think there has been any serious effort yet, though I figured I'd test our given rule 5 pass just because... I did have one theory based off of it and the fact my CSD update passed, but then I found a counterexample...

Passes rule 3.

Vote 7 to Vote: Sruixan
Vote 7 to Vote: qwerx3