Post making contest 4.0

TWELVE

This post passes no rules

[Peridot]

THIRTEEN

[Peridot]

This post passes no rules

THIRTEEN

This post passes rule 2

Ix, ix, ixcaliber!
Everyone's favorite is ixcaliber!
That's why we all love to post!
Ix-cal-i-ber!

This post passes rule 3, but also breaks secret rule 6!

Code:

Harumph.

BIG TIME POST COMIN' THROUGH!!

[noparse]

[/noparse]
[/quote]

This post passes no rules sadly

ixcaliber

This is update #175.

I'm watching the Jak and Daxter 100% speedrun from a couple of days ago, bearing in mind that Twitter suggested to me it was a colossal trainwreck.

As part of an attained incentive, they are playing it in Japanese and are pretending it is an anime in a delightfully tongue-in-cheek manner. This is gonna be glorious.

End of message.

This is update #176.

With apologies to Ix, who has to grade the following, here is my no-longer-liveblog of said speedrun. If you have two and a quarter hours to spare and a vague knowledge of what a playthrough of the game is meant to consist of, I would recommend it. It is absolutely ridiculous. It goes very wrong, very quickly, and somehow doesn't implode. Much. Otherwise, here are some highlights (runner in grey):

• *making minor mistakes on the first level* "Let's get all of the bad out of the way now!" UM ABOUT THAT
  
• "It's an anime - you have to watch it from right to left."
  
• One of the guys on the couch called Daxter an ocelot and made the runner visibly despair.
  
• "Dude, you're killing it!" "If you mean I'm dying on the inside, then yeah."
  
• "Fist that buffalo!" "...why did I let you on my couch?"
  
• "So do you see this blue eco as a kind of blue raspberry or a blueberry flavour?"
  
• "I say 'alright' a lot, it's a nervous tic, so feel free to make fun of me if you like." "Alright."
  
• HE FORGOT TO SAVE BEFORE A RELOAD
  
• "I really can read Japanese! I promise!" (it became apparent later that he LIVES IN JAPAN)
  
• Japanese Jak legitimately screams every time they get a power cell and it's driving them insane.
  
• They have also decided that instead of power cells, they are finding carkeys. Obviously.
  
• "Please keep reading more donations. They're making me play better."
  
• "I'm a terrible speedrunner... did anyone see if I got every single Precursor Orb?" YOU HAVE TO ASK?
  
• The couch is now tweeting AirCanada on behalf of the streamer to complain about his journey to SGDQ.
  
• "I'm just trying to help you out!" "...please don't help me."
  
• The streamer is now inviting the stream room to scream at him. For reasons.
  
• "I'm destroying a lot of things like now. This ruin, this run, my sanity... my carkeys are gone."
  
• It has been revealed that part of the problem is that they stayed up until 5:30am playing with the pinball machine the night before.
  
• Donator: "Can the guys on the couch do the wave?" *awkward pause* *middle person puts hands up*
  
• The streamer just went through the menu to check his troublesome orb count from earlier...
  
• OH IT STARTED AT 2AM THAT EXPLAINS SOME THINGS (I knew it was late because the streamer keeps saying he wants to go to bed) AND THE ESTIMATE IS 2:15:00 GOOD LUCK
  
• They are now debating whether they should send a letter to Naughty Dog to ask whether or not the people building the underwater temple kept having to pound their faces into the ground in order to get around (faceplanting being a movement technique here).
  
• The audience couldn't figure out when to clap for a (successfully completed) string of trick jumps and are now just giving single claps every couple of seconds. The streamer is going mad.
  
• "JUST PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP CLAPPING. THERE IS A SIGN IN FRONT OF ME NOW SAYING 'LESS APPLAUSE' I'M NOT JOKING."
  
• "I'm exhausted." "Hi exhausted, I'm dad." *heavy breathing and a murderous face from the runner*
  
• "I'm taking the jacket off now, it's too hot." *thunderous applause* (the runner has also put his sunglasses on)
  
• The donations reader is cracking up too much to read the donations. This is unsurprising.
  
• "I'm playing the game so much better when laughing than I was while tense." "Do you want a massage then?" "...sure, why not? Whatever."
  
• THE STREAMER IS NOW GETTING A SHOULDER MASSAGE FROM THE HECKLING ARSEHOLE FROM THE COUCH
  
• "I'm wearing sunglasses indoors and a t-shirt where my sunglasses should be."
  
• THE AUDIENCE ARE STILL CLAPPING AT TOTALLY RANDOM AND QUITE OFTEN INAPPROPRIATE INTERVALS
  
• Donations are now coming in requesting half-applause from the audience.
  
• "The GDQ Staff is holding up a whiteboard that says 'why are you doing this?' - the answer is, we don't know, you're just along for the ride." (it actually read "Y R U doing this to us???")
  
• DESPITE ALL THIS HE JUST DID THE HARDEST MINIGAME IN ONE GO OH MY GOSH
  
• "The sign says 'we're all going down together' - AND THEY JUST DROPPED IT."
  
• "If there's one thing I've done right today... wait, I've said that at least five times now."
  
• The audience are now applauding the streamer getting eaten by the out-of-bounds shark, which the community apparently calls Therapy. I wonder why.
  
• "To be fair, everyone that's donating is calling this a Let's Play."
  
• HE'S JUST STOPPED TO CHECK HIS MENU AGAIN
  
• "Five dollars from Jeb Bush: 'please clap'"
  
• "The audio crew just have their hands on your volume knob."
  
• THE STREAMER IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO A TRICK HE ONLY LEARNT ABOUT YESTERDAY MAYBE NOW IS NOT THE TIME?
  
• "This trick will save about seven minutes, so that's how long I'm gonna be jumping against this wall and hoping."
  
• "Do you need a carkey to operate a minecart?"
  
• SOMEHOW HE KEEPS MANAGING THE REALLY AWKWARD TRICKS?
  
• "I'm going to get this really impressive trick out of the way... we can just, um, do this." *immediately dies unintentionally*
  
• "Do you want 500 yen? I have 500 yen on me, I can give it to you."
  
• THEY ARE NOW SINGING "IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS" AND THE STREAMER DROPPED HIS CONTROLLER
  
• "You have to do a double clap now... you have to clap your friend's hand... IT'S LITERALLY CALLED A HIGH-FIVE OH MY GOD."
  
• I have not been mentioning the increasingly inaccurate impressions of various actor that they have been doing on and off throughout the past hour. I cannot possibly do them justice. They are currently stuck on Owen Wilson, with whom I am not exactly familiar, and have come to the conclusion, after much rambling, that he broke his nose inside a snake. This is supposedly hilarious.
  
• "Trust me, I've practised this game for hours and hours AND I'M DYING."
  
• "At the beginning of this run, I told you to tweet AirCanada whenever I did something wrong, so now Canada hates us."
  
• "We are getting confirmation from GDQ Staff that you should not do that."
  
• Someone on the couch has got Owen Wilson's IMDB page up. This is not going to end well.
  
• "I'm enjoying my last GDQ ever, I don't know about you guys."
  
• HE MISSED A CUTSCENE SKIP SO HE RESTARTED THE PS2
  
• "I'm actually doing so bad that I don't know what to talk about." "You're playing a videogame, you could talk about that."
  
• "After this run, we'll be having a memorial service for [the runner]... attended by Owen Wilson."
  
• "I forgot a Scout Fly, so we're going to have to go the long way and get it... WHICH I HOPE NOBODY MINDS." *applause*
  
• "This run is literally the Titanic." "Is there anyone still alive from that?"
  
• Donator: "Wow, this stream is good. Back in the day I used to have to sleep at night to get this kind of entertainment." *stunned silence*
  
• "I need another motivational whiteboard. Can you please get me one?"
  
• WHAT JUST HAPPENED
  
• THE WHITEBOARD WAS A PIC OF THE STREAMER GOING DOWN WITH HIS SHIP (THE AFOREMENTIONED TITANIC) AND BECAUSE HE FAILED THE CUTSCENE SKIP HE STOOD UP AND TOOK A PICTURE OF HIMSELF IN FRONT OF IT AND THEN THE GAME CRASHED
  
• *through tears* "I forgot that if you don't get the cutscene skip YOU CRASH THE GAME."
  
• "You guys can follow my Instagram if you want. Don't bother following my Twitch, because tomorrow it won't be there."
  
• *screaMING* "THIS IS THE LAST ONE! BEN AFFLECK GETS HIS CARKEYS! NARUTO AND PIKACHU SAVE THE DAY." This makes sense in context.
  
• *halfway up the elevator to the final boss* "I'M MISSING THREE ORBS. I HAVE TO GO BACK DOWN AGAIN."
  
• "We're just going to ride this Platform of Shame to Matt Damon... Japanese-speaking giant mosquito-shaped Matt Damon."
  
• "Do you think [the runner] is going to make it off the stage when he stands up?"
  
• HE CAME IN UNDER TIME
  
• BY FOUR MINUTES
  
• HOW?!
  
• "I have to say, that's the best speedrun I have ever done."
  
• The runner is now being hugged by basically every member of staff.
  
• "Welcome back to SGDQ 2016. We have no idea what is going on any more."
  
• "I'm a bad influence on people."

End of message.

TWELVE

Twelve is the "decay / recurrence" test and I'd like for others to corroborate exactly, for a username / poster test also.

Also Sruix, the Jak and Dexter run was one of the ones that I already had on my list of missed runs which I need to see.

TWELVE

TWELVE

TWELVE

TWELVE

TWELVE

ΤԜΕⅬⴸΕ

⊤WELVE

TWELVE

ixcaliber

This post passes rule 4

This is update #175.

I'm watching the Jak and Daxter 100% speedrun from a couple of days ago, bearing in mind that Twitter suggested to me it was a colossal trainwreck.

As part of an attained incentive, they are playing it in Japanese and are pretending it is an anime in a delightfully tongue-in-cheek manner. This is gonna be glorious.

End of message.

This post passes rule 1

a fun liveblog that wasn't as much of a hassle to grade as you might have thought

This post passes rule 3

TWELVE

This post passes rule 4

This post passes rule 4

Twelve is the "decay / recurrence" test and I'd like for others to corroborate exactly, for a username / poster test also.

This post passes rules 1 and 4

Also Sruix, the Jak and Dexter run was one of the ones that I already had on my list of missed runs which I need to see.

This post passes rules 3 and 4

TWELVE

This post passes rules 2 and 4

TWELVE

This post passes rules 1, 2, 3 and 4

TWELVE

This post passes rule 4

TWELVE

This post passes rule 4

TWELVE

This post passes rule 4

ΤԜΕⅬⴸΕ

This post passes rule 4

⊤WELVE

This post passes rules 2 and 4

TWELVE

This post passes rules 2 and 4

Rules hell confirmed. Everyone buckle up. Make identical posts. Fill in the spreadsheet of all rules across all rulesets.

TWELVE

Come on, some of the rules are still the same; it definitely could be worse.

Also TWELVE

TWELVE