"Seriously brain, what the hell?" A Thread For Weird Dreams and Nightmares

In my dream, there was some sort of creature controlling all the adults in the town. As an adventurer, I wandered into the pub and ordered a smoothie. I was given alchohol, but I still drank it? And then the bartender said "I'm calling the ambulence", so I replied "Why?".

"Because we're going to kill you!"

I ran out of the pub along with my friend, and our apparent adventuring party of 6 (including me) rounded up all the children in the town and fled. We ended up hiding them in a cave and said we would bring help.

On our way to the next village over, I fell down an extremely steep hill, and I had to befriend an anteater to survive (it killed and butchered a snake for me to eat).

Later on (skipping boring stuff), I ran into my house (which was the same size but the main floor and second floor had merged, and all of the walls had been removed) and started crying. And then my skeleton spouse (pretty sure it was Sans) hugged me and cheered me up. We started dancing and then we fused like a crystal gem, making me wake up.

more like, thread for GOOD dreams and, and, GAY DREAMS

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Act I

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Spoiler So i'm in my bathroom getting ready for the day. i'm doing volunteer work later that day for meals on wheels.
i gotta shave and brush my teeth and i gotta hurry cause i need to leave soon!
my pet owl is there. my big cartoony pet owl, who likes to gossip with the duck (the duck flies in through the window to chat with owl)
I can understand what they're saying because of my magic ancient egyptian (????) heritage. Some squirrels in the neighborhood started dating or something. who cares. i sure don't. i gotta go to meals on wheels!

https://i.gyazo.com/a4633f99f6d7087971ef...c353b8.png

Intermission

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SpoilerOn the way to meals on wheels i stop by my old middle school. I get a regular sized meal that gets served to all the kids. I have to keep telling the people there that i'm not actually a student. The bill is 25$ for the pathetic school lunch. I'm appalled at where my money is going, resolve never to eat out again, and feel relieved that it's just a dream and i'm not wasting money on anything.

My mom is there too, complaining about the soda machine. it makes soda faster than people can drink it, so it dumps all the surplus down the drain.

https://i.gyazo.com/6c72382d6ab3bba1b929...cf180e.png

Act II

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SpoilerAfter lunch, instead of going to meals on wheels, I hop on the subway and go downtown to Washington DC, where they have all the smithsonian museums. In the Natural History one (the one about dinosaurs and rocks and stuff), they're doing a collaborative exhibit with the National Archives (recordkeeping)..... an exhibit on... EGYPTIAN STATUES!!!!!!!!!

I'm incredibly amazed at all this cool stuff. i've apparently never seen a statue ever before. There's one statue of a girl with two birds on her shoulder, and a tour guide is talking about it to a small group of teenagers. I barge right through to the statue and start trying to talk to the birds. but they're statues of course, so nothing happens and i start yelling like "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE BIRDS???"

https://i.gyazo.com/bdc6fe474a53c3b67af5...0cca90.png

Act III

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SpoilerOne of the girls in the crowd, i see, is not a teenager at all- she's my age! and she looks exactly like me! Whoa- she's my long lost clonetwin from ancient egypt! (???????) She's literally me, just better with her innate magical powers. she makes the statue come to life. There's also another me in the crowd who just does nothing except be the Point of View during this act.

The statue starts singing! Original Me and Magical Me join in as a duet/trio!!! POV Me looks at a little sign on the side that displays a table, of all the characters and how long they appear (in minutes) in each act. This is how i know this dream has four acts, and also that this musical number is 9 minutes long.

The tour group (+POV me) also joins in at some points as the backup chorus. The song tragically ends when the statue trips over a bench and shatters into a lot glass shards, which all end up in Original Me's arm.

https://i.gyazo.com/8a72a5ed3bbbcfdbe06e...a4f425.png

Act IV

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SpoilerI'm fine.
Retroactively, the statue, just before it trips, transforms into a chandelier on the ceiling to avoid tripping. #ancientegyptianmagic

Now we all sit down at picnic table or something. i already ate, but the tour group eats. Instead both mes like cuddle and stuff at the table while the whole tour group probably feels hella awkward.

<3 <3 <3 i'm gay <3 if i'm my own girlfriend does that mean i have two girlfriends???

https://i.gyazo.com/63d885122ca3f59bdefa...a18ebc.png

Sequel!

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SpoilerSo this new character named robert shows up but everyone including me thinks that he's been there the whole time. due to dream logic, he might as well have been. Only in real life do i realize the truth- he wasn't there in the first part of the dream!

Anyways, pretending he was there, well, he was the antagonist- the ancient egyptian pharoah who, in the previous dream, uh, did absolutely nothing. he's still an antagonist though because my brain said so.

So Robert says to me, "you know, robert isn't my real name- just like you, Timu, went by the alias, Tipu, i too have been lying about my name."

So seems like the way to disguise your name is to add/remove a 'p', so i'm like "So your real name is.... Roberp?"

Roburp says, YES THATS RIGHT!! I'm roburp! (pronounced "raw burp") and also i am no longer evil! I'm a good guy now!

Yay. Great! Amazing character development from roburp.
The end. (this part of the dream was far less coherent than the previous parts). I'm going to pretend like Roberp was there to remind me that ancient egyptians aren't white, and once I recognized that, he "turned good."
https://i.gyazo.com/c3e11d9ef38ffb100148...e70d4a.png

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(tw:rape)

And that's all I have to say about that.

"When I'm good, I'm very, very good...
...but when I'm bad I'm HOLY SHIT HOW DID THAT EVEN GET THERE WHAT IS THAT DOING IN HERE OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD HE'S GOING TO KILL ME"

-last night

I had a bunch of weird dreams last night; I just remember two salient bits from them.

One of them was that there was a race to deliver some random item to someone living in the probably fictional town of Tinder, Michigan, and there were two other people besides me who were racing to do it. Why was there a race, I don't know. Anyway, while stopping for gas right near the end (because even in dreams, cars can't go forever), I looked across the highway, and saw a little tiny pillar of black smoke across the night sky, and as the cars continue to fill up, the smoke turned into a raging forest fire, threatening not only our goal, but another nearby town. When I pointed that out to one of the other drivers, they said that the other town was Flint. So I guess things really go up in flames fast when they are near Flint and Tinder.
Apparently, the entire dream was just set up for that one bad pun

The second dream was a bunch of people who I was hanging out with coming up with an idea for... a Seinfeld episode (I blame Gime for streaming Bee Movie for this). Seinfeld was apparently trapped in his apartment, which was on fire. And to escape from the burning apartment, which may have only been some food on fire and not actually in any danger of burning down, he skipped over the rational ideas of putting the fire out, calling 911, or just walking out the unlocked front door behind him, to try and jump out a window on the second floor. A bunch of other stupid things happened, but it ended with secret government agents coming in and revealing that mind control chips actually do exist, but they aren't used on everyone. Fortunately, Seinfeld is one of the people whom it is used on, and so they knocked him out so they could reprogram him. I just remember that the most important change they made was making him think that you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road.

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Had to tell a giant gecko and a chicken that instead of complaining about being here they can just leave cause I'm not sure what a giant gecko and chicken are even doing in a zombie related musical.

I had a really weird dream where I was in my old house waaaay back when, and a monkey had apparently left a poop in my bedroom? And it wanted it back?

Man, this one's just too confusing to put into words.

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I'd watch/play the Hell out of that

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"I'm sorry President Roosevelt, but you just haven't given us enough toilet paper to cross the mud with. In fact, I'm starting to believe that you're keeping it all for yourself."

I don't normally have nightmares, and when I do I usually sort of enjoy them, but this one really freaked me out.

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Spoiler
It started out with me and a bunch of friends. We were all video game characters or superheroes or space cowboys, etc, it doesn't really matter. One of us had a time machine. We decided to go to the time in the future when alien scientists accidentally caused the instantaneous heat death of most of the known universe (which I distinctly remember tasting very strongly of cherry (I have synesthesia)).

Somehow, visiting the end of the universe caused some sort of time paradox/curse, and we found ourselves back where we were originally, with the distinct feeling that something was very wrong. We didn't have time to investigate/discuss the event, because we were attacked by a monster! We quickly dispatched it, but something shifted, and we all lost consciousness for a second.

We found ourselves back where we were originally, with the distinct feeling that something was very, very wrong. We didn't have time to investigate/discuss the event, because we were attacked by a monster! We quickly dispatched it, but something shifted, and we all lost consciousness for a second.

We found ourselves back where we were originally, with the distinct feeling of deja vu, that something was very wrong. We didn't have time to investigate/discuss the event, because we were attacked by a monster! We quickly dispatched it, and the more time passed, the more the feeling of wrongness grew. I had forgotten something important. I knew it. It was just on the edge of my memory! I knew I had to remember, but I didn't know why, and I couldn't explain the sense of doom and urgency growing stronger every second! I had to remember now, because something awful was about to happen, any moment now! No! I didn't have time! I didn't have --

I found myself back where we were originally. I killed the monster, this time with the feeling of doing something preplanned, the same feeling you get when I you play the easy first half of a level that you're stuck on, the preprogrammed, half-instinctive motions you go through to get to the interesting part. I knew something was off. It died too quickly. I had known what it was, how to kill it, when it was coming. The creeping doom fell upon me again, the horrible anxious urgency. Nobody else had noticed anything. But what was it that felt so wrong?!

Then I remembered. I remembered everything. The end of the universe, the curse, the last few cycles. The horror filled me. I wanted to scream, to vomit, to yell at everybody else to let them know what was going on, but I knew, with horrid certainty that it was already too late. I braced myself just before the blackness set in.

It continued. The cycles never varied. The instant I regained consciousness I knew something was wrong. About halfway through I started panicking, beginning to piece things together. Every time, about a minute before it reset, I remembered. By the time I remembered, it was always too late. I was forced to continue the motions, acting my part, waiting for my doom. All the while the rest of the world was progressing and moving forward, while we were stuck in our bubble, eternally acting out the same scene of a poorly written play.

I dreamed that there was this tank where you could melt down people and reform them later. All I remember about the dream was this horrific accident where two people were reformed in the same tank D:

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Okay so I had a weird... not nightmare? Like, I was scared when I was in it but when I woke up it was very much a 'huh this is oddly intriguing' feel to it.

Anyway, in this dream, I was dead.

I was sitting in class with my old 2nd grade bible teacher(?!) and I realized that I wasn't breathing, my heart wasn't beating, and I was slowly getting cold. For all intents and purposes I was dead. But I was still /there/, walking about and being perfectly normal, except dead. Everyone freaked out for a bit but then as soon as they realized I was still just me, but dead, everyone calmed right down. My teacher asked if I would consent to being in an instructional film about What To Do If One Of Your Students Just Straight Up Dies, which aside from consent issues of being dead I found really creepy. And then at the end of the dream I was holding my breath to show that I didn't need to breathe anymore, and I found I couldn't just hold my breath forever, so either it was brain reflexes or I was becoming less dead?

Anyway I kind of feel like life would almost be easier if I was dead.

I had a dream I made a Reyweld x Reyweld Romance Game in which you play as Reyweld and date one of many Reywelds based off of simple emotions / character traits (Playweld, Dismayweld, Gayweld, ect.).

Everyone on Hawkspace loved it and there was a really good line that went something like this:

Reyweld (Player): Can I listen too?
Playweld (I think): *offers really short earbud*
Playweld: Do you like music?
Reyweld: No, I just wanted to get close to you~
Playweld: *blushes with those red anime lines*

The game was sort of formatted like Hatoful Boyfriend

Hawkspace, be prepared.

That's crayweld

So, I had a dream that there was a giant tornado heading towards campus, like an F∞, and there was no way that anyone caught in it was going to survive. And of course, guess who was pretty much in the direct path of it. I saw there was pretty much no point in trying to escape from it, so I used my last moments to tell a bunch of people online "Well, it was nice knowing you all. Goodbye."

And then I died.

And then I woke up in my grandparent's house... which doesn't exist any more. I could still remember the tornado and such, so I put together that I must have died and this was some sort of afterlife. Which was totally helped by everything being in like some shimmery greyscale color scheme, because that's not how life is.

The thing was, I still had my laptop for some reason. And being the person I am, I wanted to see what the internet was like in the afterlife. And it turns out, I could connect to multiple websites, including this one. Except like everything besides the threads and the content in them was in Russian. Hey, I don't need to read it to know that this is Eagletime. Anyway, the most recent post in the out-of-context thread was Gime posting something along the lines of "You know, I thought she just hated us until I found whos-dead.com and boy did that change my opinion shortly".

It turns out, there was a website in real life which listed everyone who recently died (and I mean everyone), and somehow, someone who I had wished goodbye to had found that website, knew my real name, and figured out what happened.

Seeing that, I tried to log into my account and wouldn't you know, it worked. And I could post stuff. And at first you didn't believe it, because it's a confirmed dead girl posting. But somehow, I eventually convinced you all that yes, it was still me and yes, I was still dead.

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What does this mean? WHO KNOWS? Not me.

Also, for the record, I am not dead. At least, I don't think I am.

I think if I died but still had access to the internet, I would be eternally satisfied.

i dreamed i was wearing a pair of shorts and looked great

no kidding!!

My dreams as of late are all pretty anxiety-driven (I'm graduating from college soon and I'm terrified), but I do remember having a weird dream about being chased by the cops in this big labyrinth of a building, and also mulder and scully from the X-files were there for some reason, despite me not having seen the X-Files in forever. We escaped from the building by climbing down the side of the wall, but they disappeared as soon as I hit the ground. Then I was in a forest and a dog kept following me. It didn't really go anywhere from there.

We escaped from the building by climbing down the side of the wall, but they disappeared as soon as I hit the ground.

It'd be hilarious if I woke up to that theme as my alarm clock.