A Goode Venture

You are JOHNATHAN GOODE, and you are here to kick ass and take names.

Now if only you could remember where said asses are and what said names were.

>_

THE ASSES ARE IN THIS THREAD

You don't know but you know that any enterprising merchant will be able to sell you with alacrity, such as JOHNATHAN GOODE.

What are you doing, Johnathan

This is not the kicking of asses

The Gazpacho Brothers.

Lithuanian mime crime empire.

Conveniently located in Philadelphia.

There are no asses to kick! Unless the good is a donkey.

>The first name you're going to take is Alan Nonimous.

Right, that's done, as soon as you find this Al Nonymous guy you'll have it for him.

>Start by checking the broom closet. Maybe he's hiding in there.

I heard he was a jiggly old computer

Borduria!

Well, it's true, Borduria has a lot of asses available, and they're even acceptable targets, but the LEAGUE OF BADASSES declared a moratorium on that for a period of six months after the LAST asskicking you gave them, and you don't want to lose your ASSKICKING LICENSE.

No, no Al Nonymous in this closet.

What, that computer? It wasn't even a worthy opponent, it just sort of sat there jiggling at you until you tipped over its table.

>Watch out for that baseball glove headed your way!

Leap up into the air, and scream a formal challenge at the top of your lungs to any opponent who thinks they can defeat you!