Fanfiction - ADVENTURE IS YOU

Itwas a normal day for THE HERO, who what strong and amazing and full of energy even when it is late and he should be a sleep. BECAUSE HE NEVER SLEEPS.

It was time to him to get his friends and reveal his name DRAMATICALLLY


> WHAT IS NAMES?

>Chugflex "Brosephus" Stonejones

>Chugflex "Brosephus" Stonejones

WHAT YES THAT IS his name!

Oh wat NO it isnt!
(hahaha triked you)

That is NOT his name is it his friengs nams.

(thay are also the coolest!)

What is power???

Bad typography.

> tobe continued???

PWEOR

THE POWER OF QWERTY!

SOUPERMIN SRTONGTH

>His power is NITEBAT

SpoilerShow

"Woah, man. You look tired."

"Yeah...I found out yesterday. Apparently, I never sleep."

"Ha! Dude. You can't take that stuff so literally."

"The council seems to take it pretty literally..."

"Yeah but the council knows the texts are open to interpretation, and more importantly, YOU get to be the one that interprets it."

"Not sure how I can get around 'doesn't sleep'".

"Dude, look at me. I'm supposed to be so 'STONGTH' that I can 'DRUNK A BULLDOZER'. Now, I know that I am not going to shove a three ton landscaping machine down my drink tube, but that's what the council expects. So I concoct this little guy, one part vodka, two parts cider, and a helping helping of syrup, dub it THE BULLDOZER, and chug it down whenever I want! The council's happy, I'm wasted, and the world has a brand new way to get smashed."

"I'm not a fan of Bulldozers."

"It's an aquired taste. Point is, you have to be creative."

"I guess..."

OMGyessssssss I love Nitebat!!!

HIs power is NITEBAT BECAUSE his name is NITEBAT.

Also Stonejones is SRTONGTH!

but whose QWERTY?

his ossmmmmmmm frennnnd

>ALIEN WIZARD

>Karkat Vantas

SpoilerShow

"Hello Mr. Vantas. Here take a seat."

"Please, call me Qwerty"

"Oh, okay...is that a nickname? because your resume says-"

"It is the facet of my identity that I would prefer you to address me as."

"Huh...

...So what can you tell me about yourself, uh, Qwerty?"

"I suppose I should start with what is most relevant to you."

"That would be nice."

"Simply put, I am your ossmmm friend."

"'osshmm'? I...I'm sorry there must be a mistake. This is an interview for the accounts receivable position."

"Yes, I am fully aware of the pretext for our meeting, Mr. Reeves."

"P-pretext? I am sorry Mr. Vantas but if you're not seriously interested in this position I will have to ask-"

"Please allow me this time, Mr. Reeves. Despite your position, you are a very difficult man to get a hold of. They keep you busy."

"I have other interviews to get to."

"Your next appointment isn't scheduled until 9:15. You've been allocated 2 hours to conduct interviews in this office and have left your materials for your other projects at your workspace in your cubicle. Your access at this workspace is restricted to my resume, cover letter, personality profile, and your interview assessment form. Essentially you are faced with the choice of allowing me to speak with you for the following ten minutes or sitting idly until your next appointment arrives."

"How do you-"

"Do you know how many Reeves there are in the nation, Henry? You don't mind me calling you Henry?"

"I-"

"334,241. Do you know how many Henry Reeves there are? Exactly 326, and that's just in the northeast."

"How would you even get these numbers?"

"Don't tell me you've never thought to search for yourself over the network? I am certain you have at least once. Everyone does. They seek to see exactly where they fall amidst the crowd of an ever growing ever connected population."

"I suppose I have."

"And I know what you found. You found exactly what decades upon decades of technology and information from millions upon millions of sources have culminated to bring you: the truth, objective unbiased truth. A truth that you, Henry Reeves, are not unique, not special, and not needed."

"...I think you should leave."

"Please. Please, hear me out. It is only natural to want to shut out this truth. It's why you only search for yourself once you've managed to forget what you found at first. It's why for ages people have clung to the mantras of 'you are special' and 'everyone is unique' when in actuality the uniqueness of who you are is found only in the most unimportant, insignificant details. It is only been today that we have been able to see our true perspectives, our true identities."

"I have an identity, thank you. I am the executive accounts manager for the foreign supply subdivision. And I am certainly not hiring you for the accounts receivable position!"

"Is that really your identity, Henry Reeves? The title given to you by your company? A title that can apply to any person who sits in that desk and wears that badge? Or is your identity more than that? Is it that you are one of 154,252,153 people who owns a cat? One of 218,400,248 people who drive alone to work? One of 318,200,281 who changes their voicebox message once a month?

There are so many statistics, Henry Reeves. So many numbers which show exactly how your preferences and habits are shared by so many in the population. Before, we could shield ourselves within the masses, bury ourselves within the growing and seemingly diverse population. But now we are too connected. Our lives and our identities are too open. We know exactly who we are and we are no one."

"...Is that all?"

"It could be, Henry Reeves. It could very well be all that there is for you. But I know better. I know you, Henry Reeves. I am your ossmm friend. I know who you really are."

"And who am I, again?"

"I afraid I do not have time to tell you here, but I will gladly show you later. Simply contact me. You have my address on my resume...


...oh and one more thing."

"Yes?"

"One of those other 326 Henry Reeves happens to be in this building today. He's a bright young person. Recently obtained his MBA and plays tennis with the daughter of the VP of Finance. He'll be climbing the ladder quickly if he does well on his interview."

"They aren't doing any other accounting interviews today. Certainly not...not for the assistant director's position! I was told the applications were still in the screening process."

"You were told that. My time is up. Goodbye Henry Reeves."

Uh DUH Hesis his frend whatEVAR.

AND UGH HOMESTUCK. SO LAME. But okaiokai hes Karkat and a WIZEARD. He haz little oarnge hornz and casts majjiks peels.

KAY. So NITEBAT and stonejones and QWERTY were on a MISSON

WHAT MISSON!>

>SAVE THE PRESIEDENT!

>NOT DIE

> You must infiltrate the enemy superstation, fly through a built-in maintenance trench while covered by a small force of allied vanguards, and fire a heat-seeking stealth missile into an exhaust vent at the end of the trench. The margin for error is none.

Good luck, cadet.

SpoilerShow

THE WINNING PITCH - NETWORK EDITION
EPISODE 5 deleted scene

BRITNEY: So what do you have for us today?

CONTESTANT: Well, first off, I am a huge fan of the show. I love how you let people really get their ideas out there.

LEROY: Yeah yeah give us the pitch.

CONTESTANT: Of course. Okay well, you all know how TV is a dying industry.

STEVE: I wouldn't say that at all.

CONTESTANT: Oh but, I mean, well, people are having a lot more options for their entertainment choices, but with recent crackdowns on intellectual property it's been harder to come up with truly successful narratives and characters.

STEVE: For you maybe.

BRITNEY: Oh Steve, let him at least get to his idea.

LEROY: Yeah get to the point.

CONTESTANT: Well, but this is a big part of the point.

STEVE: What is your show idea about?

CONTESTANT: Well it's so much more than just an idea, it's a whole series of characters and new means of marketing.

BRITNEY: Oh? Characters? Can you show us one?

CONTESTANT: Well, okay I have one that I've started on, but its really the technique that matters.

STEVE: Show us the character.

CONTESTANT: Alright...

[CONTESTANT reveals first slide]

CONTESTANT: This is The Nightbat!

[STEVE presses his buzzer]

STEVE: Wow. That is all I needed to see. This is terrible. You are terrible. How did you even get this far?

BRITNEY: Steve! How could you X him so soon? He hasn't even said anything about him yet!

STEVE: It is clearly a batman ripoff. We already have a crime-fighting bat themed superhero. I am not interested.

BRITNEY: It might not be!

CONTESTANT: Well, actually...

LEROY: Yeah, no I see it too. This has copyright infringement written all over it.

CONTESTANT: Well you see, its supposed to be like batman.

BRITNEY: What?

STEVE: I told you.

CONTESTANT: Well, it's clearly not batman. And it would be easy to adjust the character so that it doesn't violate any copyright laws. That's the point. People need characters that aren't so hindered by licensing restrictions. By pushing the Nightbat character, the actual batman market share will go down as people realize that they can work freely with a much more available character.

BRITNEY: Work freely? but Nightbat would be under the same restrictions as any other character.

CONTESTANT: No, no that's the point. The Nightbat wouldn't have any copyright associations. It would be legal for anyone to use the character however they want.

BRITNEY: But, how do you collect royalties? How do you protect Nightbat from abuse?

CONTESTANT: Well, thats...you don't. People fall in love with things they have access to, and things they can add to and work with themselves, but it's becoming too easy to find copyright infringement and stop it.

BRITNEY: So you're for character piracy? Leroy, do you have anything to say?

LEROY: Oh I'm staying out of this trainwreck.

[LEROY PRESSES HIS BUZZER]

CONTESTANT: but! But by advocating characters like The Nightbat you would be able to assure brand popularity in a soon to be niche market!

[BRITNEY PRESSES HER BUZZER]

BRITNEY: Not interested. Sorry.

HOKAY YEAH THOSE R GREATH BUT I have a betteri dea.

Give me like 4 NOUNS and uhm 5 ADJECTIVES and two VERBS and ADVERBS and I guess a...PREPOSITION.

Give it>

towel, penguin, architecture, impermanence, watery, flowered, inflatable, useless, high-tech, yell, scowl, flirtatiously, unanimously, with

Tree, stain, heaven, chief, green, murderous, infernal, apelike, minuscule, run, evaporate, violently, incomprehensibly, under

You must evaporate the inflatable architecture, violently yell through a built-in watery trench while covered by a murderous force of allied tree, and fire a minuscule high-tech penguin under an exhaust vent at the end of the trench. The margin for error flirtatiously chief.

HAHA! Thaturned out GREAT. WORDS.

THAT IS their mison! Also the president's misssing! How they NOT DIE?

OH HOW NITEBAT STARTMISSOIN?>

FLY!!!

THEY ARE ALL BAD DUDES BUT ARE THEY BAD ENOUGH?????

They borrow two nuclear subs and eat them on the way

SpoilerShow

"I am not comfortable with this. This is making me very uncomfortable."

"That is fine. How can I assuage you?"

"Uhm. Unhook me?"

"That is not fine. You must fly to start the mission."

"But I've never flown before!"

"Ah but you will. Remember who you are. Remember your identity."

"Why isn't Stonejones here?"

"He volunteered to obtain and consume the nuclear subs."

"Great. He's having lunch while I'm strapped to a jetpack."

"I will release the hangar doors shortly. Remember to yell when you reach the trench. The president's safety depends on you."

"Wait, you're not coming?"

"I will arrive in my own way."

"but-aaaaaaaa"

"Godspeed. Nitebat."

NITEBAT fLIES down to start his mission of Saving the PRESIDENT and The nuclear subs are eated on the way there.

NITEBAT yels like a angry so angry and farts (hahaha I meant flys) to the end.

WHAT IS STONEJOES do?
WHAT IS QWERTY DOing?

>Stonejones is washing down his nuclear subs with a bulldozer.