fuck i need a title

shornitoot

I've been helpfully informed that having a global forum announcement thread titled "fuck i need a title" is very unprofessional.

Henceforth, I'm unsticking it and turning it into a thread. Because I'm a professional.

schazer can you give us forumites the power to make announcements so we can share quality thoughts as well

Come to Oz, we have knights and dames here! Titles for all!

what if it's a tugboat those are cute

today during work i had an idea for a spongebob episode involving mr. krabs making krabby kards, gift cards for the krusty crab, but since hes awful he doesnt add any electronic reading system and squidward has to calculate all of the krabby kards manually, this results in him finally quitting and then going to get work at the chum-bucket, which to his surprise has like, actual pay and benefits. plankton doesnt get the krabby patty recipe because of a non-disclosure contract ofc

squidward begins to live like a king and various residents of bikini bottom wonder what the hell happened, then all of them go to work at the chumb bucket, where they all realize that plankton fucked up and has Absurdly Good Benefits, plankton hires the various bikini bottom residents in hopes that it will lead to him getting more customers

meanwhile, at the krusty krab, an overworked spongebob has resorted to budding, with each new spongebob losing a specific aspect of spongebob but otherwise still working as hard and such, except for the inevitable one without his work ethic, these spongebobs all do wacky jokes and chaos blah blah blah

plankton realizes he fucked up, wonders how this happened when karen, his computer wife, talks to him about how he thought that by being the opposite of krabs he could somehow get an edge, obviously this led to the Too Good Contract and now he has to pay a bunch of people money he doesnt have, he is about to fire everyone when karen tells him that theres benifits for that too, maybe he even goes out and says YOU ARE ALL FIRED to which they all celebrate, karen informs him of the claus, and then he re-hires them. he asks karen if theres any way around this and there is! if you shop at the krusty krab the contract is null and void and you are herby fired from the chum bucket zero benefits

plankton buys krabby kards and gives them to his employeees who all get their contracts terminated for krabby patties, the large influx causes mr. krabs to rehire squidward and tell spongebob to pull himself back together and plankton thinks hes done and safe, and only lost the krabby kard money when he goes back to the chum bucket to see none other than... spongebob squarepants..........

END PART ONE

part two opens up with plankton being fearful and angry at the spongebob who dismisses him and tells him that its time for a change around here, the spongebob, who tells planktom to call him spongerob, exposits that hes a spongebob without the undying loyalty to the krusty krab, as a result he knows every single absurdly capitalistic method mr krabs has ever used along with various ones he decided not to and is willing to use it on the chum bucket. when planktom asks why spongerob talks about what its like working under mr krabs and how this is the logical thing to do, but obviously theres an ulterior motive here.

like squidward, spongerob is also held to nondisclosure agreement and goes so far as to rebuke the krabby patty, saying that it is uneccesary to their plan. that is not to say that the krusty krab wont be useful though, as spongerobs plan involves the usage of the krabby kards! as mr. krabs went old school tech with the krabby kards, each of them has the patrons name on them, spongerob suggests that they introduce various deals using recipts from the krusty krab and used krabby kards to get free food and such from the chum bucket! when plankton replies with indignancy, spongerob shows him CHUMBUX DOT COM, the website through which these deals will be given out

plankton is still confused and spongerob informs that the money will not be made by the people shopping at the chum bucket but WITH the people shopping at the chumb bucket, by signing up for CHUMBUX DOT COM to get free food, including at high teirs krabby kards, people unwittingly be added to an index of people with various personal and quasi personal information about them, hidden away deep in the chum bucket servers this information will then be sold to advertisers and similar companies for more money than the krusty krab could ever make, which would allow them to expand and grow and which would allow CHUMBUX DOT COM to grow which leads to more information to sell to advertisers

plankton doubts that this is legal to which spongerob replies that it, specifically, isnt illegal and that every single patron would agree to the terms by signing up for the website. the plan is enacted and spongerob make a buncha money, plankton happily exclaims WE DID IT when spongerob questions this we shit, informing plankton that he is fired, his contract with the chum bucket terminated when he purchased the krabby kards and that now he, spongerob, a now legally distinct entity from spongebob, owns the chum bucket. plankton is kicked out of the chum bucket now in the process of REBRANDING

END PART TWO

part three plankton is fearful of the monster that has been unleashed and runs towards the krusty krab, hopeing that spongebob and mr. krabs can help in some way. spongebob is still recovering from all of the budding and the krusty krab is rather empty, mr. krabs initialls shits on plankton because hes a sore loser and there are various drawn out shenanigans between plantkon and krabs before plankton explains the situation. look over the large and expansive contract that spongerob is under, hopeing to find some loophole to get the chum bucket bac to how it was. various attemps are made and fail as they see the various captialistic horroes coming out of the New Chum Bucket. even mr. krabs is off put by what he is seeing and he is fucking mr krabs. they agree that the only way to end this is to have spongebob absorb spongerob back in.

they sneak into the chum bucket with the somewhat loopy spongebob in tow, sneak to the managers office and they are trapped!!!! spongerob expected that this would happen and smiles evilly. he is now more powerful and disctinct than spongebob, absorbing him would do nothing, and to prove it spongerob absorbs spongebob.

INSIDE THE SPONGEMIND spongebob and spongerob battle for dominance, with various attack sand back and forths while in the real world plankton and mr. krabs look on in horror at the events. it seems like time has passed and mr. krabs asks... Spongebob??? to which the sponge replies, "No"

mr. krabs and plankton cry at their failure when karen comes in with a NOT SO FAST! karen presents two legal documents, one being the contract that spongerob is under and the other being the bikini bottom rules on sponges as distinct entities pre and post budding. by fusing back with spongebob spongerob takes over as both legally and as such has reason to be fired as spongebob ate a krabby patty earlier that day!!! spongerob screams no, and weaked by the legal defeat and having lost his empire is destroyed and repressed by spongebob! spongebob then reveals to the various bikini bottom residents what happened to them, they all leave the chum bucket and promise to sue and its happily ever after for everyone except plankton who realizes that he did nothing but lose

end credits

That is not even a fanfic what the hell is wrong with you, Solaris.

Somebody explain this in-joke to me you unfunny, elitist assholes. Or else i'll report you to the nearest social network.

stop all boats

what are you, madagascar

/obscurejoke

/obscurejoke

I think you're massively underestimating just how nerdy of an audience that you're speaking to right now, wierdee.

I haven't even played that game and i know about it.

solaris I'm traumatized forever but at the same time I hope nickelodeon hires you for the spongebob reboot series in 10 years

is this the new shitposting thread

No, this is the thread that shornitoot.

solaris I'm traumatized forever but at the same time I hope nickelodeon hires you for the spongebob reboot series in 10 years

im glad SOMEONE appreciates my efforts, ED!!!!!!!!

solaris I'm traumatized forever but at the same time I hope nickelodeon hires you for the spongebob reboot series in 10 years

im glad SOMEONE appreciates my efforts, ED!!!!!!!!

How do you expect me to take your writing seriously when there's no gratuitous intercourse in your fic? Maybe you should start appreciating my criticism.

As the first reaction image is posted it becomes official, this is the new shit posting thread folks. Unfortunately, my reaction gifs folder doesn't have a lot of content so this will have to do:

look ED, you can't just start off with any intense shipping, you need to ease into that shit, spongerob still lives on.... to return..... spongerob/spongebob.....

the way you guys are describing it, i'm glad I didn't read it to completion. Out of fear. Random, sponge-y fear.

are we allowed to heckle while we shitpost or is that a gray area

it also mentions "credits" at the end, so that's already a bad sign

solaris, are you bringing krabby patty destruction to our world

Okay, but where does all of the gratuitous intercourse fit into the Spongebob Expanded Universe exactly? Is it before the movie, after the movie, or both? These are the important questions that need asking.

I don't know what the Spongebob Expansion Universe is, and I don't want to know how the gratuitous intercourse fits into it

In the interests of being a professional moderator and allowing free speech or whatever we could put it to a vote but I feel like enlightening the forumnular populace would be to our collective non-benefit

after the movie, krusty krab two isnt mentioned but its there, it would be the crux of the return of spongerob

yeah hold on what did happen to krusty krab two
like i'm aware the show kept going on without the creator after the movie but cmon guys he established something into the canon, work with it

i haven't seen any spongebob episodes after the movie btw