Pete the Peasant's Alphabet Funtime

>Escape

That's what I'm trying to do! But I think I need a more detailed plan than that.

Look for an Aperture of some kind.

I beg your pardon? I don't have any idea what an aperture is.

"An opening. A hole. That sort of thing. Mind you, it's not really going to catch on until the 1400s or so, I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it."

What the? There's somebody else here? But who could they be, and where?

I is for Investigate.

Oh, yes! That's right, if I want to find the source of this mysterious voice, I should check for myself.

"I'm in the next cell, you imbecile."

Oh. I suppose that makes sense. So, er, who are you?

Presumably Assumedly the haberdasher.

I is for Inquire.
I is for Inspect- see where the guard is.

Also, Chat with the ambulatory dictionary!

See if you can Find the Jailer!

B D is for Break Dance.

It's the Former King!

See if you can Find the Jailer!

Oh, and that's another thing. Where's the jailer? Are we not being watched?

"I can answer that question, and the other one about who I am, at the same time. Jack the Jailer, at your service."

You're the jailer? But you're in a cell?

"Yes, well. The Inquisitor didn't appreciate it when I asked to see proof that your arrest was on the King's orders, and now here I am."

Oh. Does, er, does the King often check who's in the dungeon?

"Ha! Not hardly, I doubt he'd care if we threw the whole kingdom in here. But I take pride in my job. I do it properly. Seems Ichabod didn't appreciate that, though."

And he just locked you in your own cell?

"Yep. Called some knights over, they grabbed my keys and threw me in here. Shame, too. 'Twas a nice keyring."

You don't say.

"I saved up my pay for a bit and had the blacksmith make a special tag with a J on it."

A jay? As in, a bird?

"No, it's one of those letter things. I don't know a lot of 'em, but that one stands for Jailer. Thought it looked nice."

So that means J is for Jailer!

You have taught the children about the letter J!
10/26 letters taught!

"Yeah, it is. What's the big fuss?"

Oh, the King asked me to gather letters or he'd throw me in the dungeon.

"The dungeon you're in right now?"

Well, yes, presumably. I think he mentioned something about a Terence the Torturer.

"Oh, yes. I imagine one of the knights will be along to take you to him in a minute. Normally that would be my job, but I'm not exactly in a position to at the moment."

Oh, yes. I think I hear footsteps headed this way, in fact.

Oh dear. This could be a problem. What should I do?

Well, it's likely he's not armored; hit him in the junk.

Also, remember from your lessons earlier that I is for Incapacitate!

Feel your legs turn to Jelly.

Well, it's likely he's not armored; hit him in the junk.

I don't know what gave you that idea. I can hear the sounds of metal clanking together, too.

Feel your legs turn to Jelly.

Well, that's rather defeatist! Can't you suggest something a little more proactive?

Besides which, that's already happened...

Wait, metal armor? E is for Electrocute!

Discover a chink in his armor and apply your dagger!

Joke with the knight!

Wait, metal armor? E is for Electrocute!

I don't understand the concept of electricity! Besides, he hasn't arrived yet.

Discover a chink in his armor and apply your dagger!

As useful a tactic as that might be, I don't have the dagger with me any more. Or the turnip, for that matter. I think they were confiscated.

Joke with the knight!

I could try it, but that's something to try once he actually gets here. I was rather hoping for suggestions for what I could do to prepare before he actually arrives.

Or I suppose I could simply wait for him if you'd rather.

B is for Bar the Door?

(whoops.)

Do a Jekyll and Hyde Act.

Dig!!!

Don a disguise!

B is for Bar the Door?

It's already got plenty of bars! Besides, I'd rather like to find some way out, rather than staying in.

Dig!!!

Ah! That's more like it! An escape tunnel! The ground is rather soft here, perhaps I can...

*dig dig dig*

"I don't think you're going to get out any time soon. You'd have to dig down quite a bit to get below the moat, and you certainly don't want to dig through it, I can assure you. You're welcome to try, but I doubt you'll make significant progress before the knight arrives."

Oh. I suppose that's reason enough to stop. Besides, I just seem to be kicking up dirt.

Don a disguise!

Ah! A disguise! But what can I use? There's nothing here but the clothes on my back... and this pile of dirt...

*pat pat pat*

There! A false beard, and I've covered my hair to match! Now the knight won't recognize me!

*clank clank clank*

"Right! I'm Keith the Knight, and I'm here to escort the new prisoner!"

Oh my. Here he is. I do hope this works.

"Eh? You're not the fellow I brought in earlier. I don't think his hair was so black, and he certainly didn't have such a thick beard."

No! No, I'm not! Please, let me out! There's been a terrible mistake!

"Hmm. Well, I could, but honestly, what's the point? My pay's the same whether you're supposed to be in here or not. Now, get on out here."

Oh dear. He's opened the door. If I'm going to try something, now would be a good time to do it...

Kick! Flail!

Befriend him! Joke around! Curry his favor!

Befriend him! Joke around! Curry his favor!

Hmm. That's worth a shot, I suppose. Here goes...

Oh, come on now. There's no need to drag me all the way down to the dungeon. Why don't we just head out, grab a drink at the bar, talk about the new plagues going around...

"Hmmph! You're not the first prisoner to try cozying up to me. Don't know why you think it'd work, though - who'd want a filthy peasant for a friend? Besides another filthy peasant, I suppose."

Oh, yes. I suppose a knight wouldn't have anything to gain by disobeying his lord and letting a lowly peasant go, and a lot to lose. That's the feudal system for you! I suppose I'll have to try something else... oh, hey, what are you doing?

"I've had enough of your dilly-dallying! You're coming with me even if I have to drag you!"

Ow! Let go! My arms! Ouch!

Kick! Flail!

I can't Kick, I don't know what letter that starts with yet! But I suppose I can flail about wildly.

F is for Flail!

"What in the... Quit that! Don't make me break your arms off, Terence always gets mad if they're not intact when they arrive. He likes to do as much of it himself as he can, y'see... hey! Why am I tellin' you this, I'm just a guard ow my nose!"

Sorry! And goodbye!

"Hey! Get back here, peasant!"

Whew! He let go of me for a moment to rub his nose after I hit him with my wild flailing. That armor of his wasn't easy on my hands, though. Well, at least I can get out, if I can find my way through this dungeon...

"You there! Stop!"

What? How did you get ahead of me? I thought I just ran away from you!

"What are you babbling about?"

Er... you are Keith the Knight, aren't you?

"What? No, I'm Kevin the Knight! And I don't think you should be running around the dungeons!"

As it happens, I don't either. Could you direct me to the exit?

"What? No, that's not what I meant! Get back to your cell, peasant!"

Oh dear. This fellow seems even less pleasant than Keith. What should I do?

Imitate the Inquisitor! Surely they fear him! and he's crazy enough to pull something like impersonating an peasant in the dungeon.

Fashion a cross if it helps the act.

Hit him in the face!

>Distract him and attempt to escape! He couldn't run too fast in all that armor, could he?