Spiteland: New World [Choose Your Destiny]

Penne is pleased. Next, we must prepare for the vampire invasion.
Penne decides to forcefully evict all blood-drinkers from the area.


Via spraying them with a firehose blast of marinara sauce.

GEEEE FOOOORCE DRIVES THE MACHINE PART

BECAUSE IT IS A GUITAR STUNT DRIVER ANYWAY

PHYSICS DON'T COME INTO IT

Liph stares at the pile of hay for a few moments. It's better than nothing, he supposes. He attempts to scare away some goat that's chewing on a bit of hay and then moves on to the most important thing. He takes the flag and jams it into the ground in front of the hay pile. Yeah.

That angry Sock over there looks like he could use some salvation. Ocsar hops over towards Socko and starts chatting with him about how the Church of Melodica is really great and totally not a pyramid scam at all. Oh hey look, I have these forms that you can fill out right now if you want. No pressure.

"Melodica? You know, I think I've heard about her/him/it before. Somewhere. Tell me more!"

"Oh, forms?"

...

"I'm not sure I'm actually a legal entity. Guess I could go check with one of the lawyers. Sure is nice we've got so many, isn't it?"

Astonishingly, Socko appears to be totally sincere in this statement.

"Form guy! It's Allen, right? Could I have some legal council over here!"

Olbaid decides to enter the card game between Garurar and toasty by using his MAGICAL DECK THAT ALL LAWYERS CARRY. He teleports over to them and stares at the sun until he gets dealt cards and laughs at them. He then proceeds to piss himself. Why? Nobody will know... Except for everyone because he yells out that ALIENS AND MONSTERS WERE ATTACKING HIS PLACE AND AXED EVERYONE FOR HELP. But because of the space time continuum slapping him with a motorbike, he decides to undo the pee and win the card game.

I ignore him entirely.

Stumpy stares blankly at Olbaid.
"Is it too late to move over to the pasta people?"

Toasty is a robot and thinks that lawyers who play Children's Card Games are a tad insane.

But then again Toasty is a robot doing the same thing.

"Isn't there some conflict about hay-piles that you can help with over there?"

In an answer to everyone, Olbaid says: "Sometimes.".