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Solaris · 08-08-2018, 01:01 PM

People like to make things, that much is certain.

So we see, somewhere in some cosmos, someone making something, taking the stars from the sky, swirling around in their hand like one might cup some water from a lake or river.

And similar to that, the space refills, stars flowing back to replace those taken. The hand cupping the stars holds them close, and above an orb, they let the stars go.

Inside of that orb, is bits and pieces, little parts of everywhere, swirling together and clashing. And the someone looks inside, desperate to see everything...

Mini-Grand's are smaller versions of Grand Battles, the nebulously occurring roleplaying character collaboration fun times that we have so many of. Mini-Grands occur with at most four people and three rounds and do not have any greater connection to anything else, not even each other. They are just fun short bursts of character interactions and storylines in odd places, usually ending in a character death/elimination that leads to a setting transition.

Generally, the way that mini-grands work is that people post profiles in this thread, as many as they want, and then someone else takes four profiles that seem fun and have them go through the various rounds. You can use any profile that you want as long as it adheres to the usual format below.

Code:
[b]Username[/b]:
[b]Name[/b]: (Your character's name)
[b]Gender[/b]: 
[b]Race[/b]: (Include a brief description if it's not blatantly obvious.)
[b]Colour[/b]: (The colour you'll write your posts in. No tags other than [color], and no using plain black. Please avoid eye-searing.)
[b]Biography[/b]: 
[b]Description[/b]: (Physical, mental, emotional, the whole deal.)
[b]Items/Abilities[/b]: (Things they do/have/are that make them suited for a battle to the death.)

You can generally do whatever sort of thing you want to explore writing wise, as long as it isn't annoying or worse! What is important is that you have fun! Feel free to make a profile even if you haven't done any of these before and are brand new, and if you have questions just ask around on Discondor!!!

Links
-What is a Grand Battle Thread (again)
-Old Mini-Grand thread (to get the idea of what this is)
-Minigrands will go here (hopefully)

Ixcaliber · 08-09-2018, 02:59 AM

Username: Ixcaliber
Name: Thrillseeker
Gender: Female
Race: Human, mostly
Text Colour: #8A0707
Description: Thrillseeker is tall, athletically built with tan skin, amber eyes and a gaudily dyed blood red pompadour. She typically wears glossy black lipstick and aviator sunglasses with white frames and cherry red lenses. She wears fairly casual clothing that allows as much mobility as possible. She was at the time she was taken for battle wearing a black t-shirt with a white logo of a lantern, a worn, and in some places a little bloody, denim jacket, fingerless gloves, a miniskirt and black leather boots. She has a lot of tattoos, the only ones immediately visible are those on her legs which are nearly covered in obscure iconography.

Thrillseeker tends to be kind of guarded when around unfamiliar people or in unfamiliar situations. Though she’s a woman of very few words her emotion is often written clearly in exaggerated body language. She tends towards caution, having suffered badly for recklessness in the past, but is willing to make a mistake if she thinks she can learn something from it. She has no hesitation when action is called for.

Items/Abilities: Thrillseeker is accompanied by a modified Public Homunculi Vat (known colloquially as a Cauldron). A PHV consists of an upright human-sized translucent cylinder filled with a viscous liquid (in this case blood red) and an attached control panel utilizing touch screen controls. Thrillseeker’s Cauldron has been significantly modified; it has been fitted into a primitive chassis which contains a mobile generator and sits atop a set of hydraulic robotic legs.

Back before the merge PHVs were used to create disposable servants to perform menial tasks and at a low low cost. But now thanks to the work of the Lanterns the Cauldrons now serve a different purpose. It is possible to use a Cauldron to create a genetic and mental imprint of yourself which will activate should the user happen to expire whilst still within the Cauldron’s range, decanting a homunculus body with the consciousness of the user. Furthermore it’s possible for someone who finds themselves in that kind of situation to recreate and reinhabit a copy of their human body using genetic data stored in the PHV and a consumable bundle of genetic materials (a handy source for these materials can be the corpse you left behind). Thrillseeker has a handy stockpile of these.

A homunculus body is distinct from a human body in a couple of ways. First they are physically more fragile, designed only for temporary habitation. Secondly they possess unique visual characteristics; muddy red skin from Rapid Growth Formula, absence of hair and sexual dimorphism. The only distinctions to be made from one homunculus body to another is the height and build.

Additional functionality modded into the Cauldron via the addition of a transdimensional beacon is the ability to either summon and decant the consciousness of another user from another dimension into a temporary homunculus body or to offer a version of your own consciousness which can be used the same way. This functionality allows thrillseekers to engage in some good spirited teamwork, however it is important to remember that not all thrillseekers are benevolent in their intentions.

Thrillseeker carries a flask of Rapid Growth Formula (known colloquially as Lifeblood). This is the same liquid from the Cauldron’s Vat and when consumed provides a very temporary healing effect. Thrillseeker’s flask contains enough for only a couple of uses before she’d have to return to the Cauldron to refill it.

Thrillseeker has a couple of different weapons available to her, but her primary one is the Scythe of Iaoael. This weapon was forged from the essence of Iaoael the Rancorous, an animalistic phantom that had slipped free of the White Labyrinth when Thrillseeker encountered it. Much like the phantom from which it was made the Scythe of Iaoael is jet black with a faint purple shimmer across it. It is ornately carved, though the pattern of eyes is difficult to discern in the blackness of the scythe.

Biography: Some come to Ilmire to fight the Night, or to try to understand them. Some come to scavenge what little remains of the decrepit city’s incredible technologies. Some come to peer into the void or to try to tame its powers for themselves. Thrillseeker came to this wretched place just looking for a good time.

Lankie · 08-11-2018, 08:34 PM

Username: Lankie

Name: Otis

Gender: Male

Race: Jackalope - Pretty much exactly what you picture in your head when you think of a Jackalope - Rabbit with antlers/horns. Otis is male so instead of antlers he has a small pair of horns. An average Jackalope stands at about half a foot tall.

Colour: I got a zeal for teal! #008080

Description: Otis is covered in a light brown fur, with the exception of the inside of his ears which are a brilliant, iridescent green. He has deep, dark, brown eyes and a pair of nubby, little horns. He stands about 15cm tall (18cm with his ears perked up) and is a healthy weight for his age. Otis is 14 months old, which makes him a young adult. He sports a homemade cape made from a shred of burlap sack.

Strong, brave, chivalrous, confident, unyielding. All traits of a great knight, which Otis aspires to be. Alas, he falls short (hohehoheho) of pretty much all of those aspects. Otis is quick to anger and will often pick fights with opponents that far outclass and outsize him. He is particularly sensitive about his size and cuteness (for the record, he is extremely cute). He loathes humans, though deep down he desperately wants their respect. Otis comes from a very medieval time, as such he has an extreme aversion to anything technological, treating any technology as black magic.

Items/Abilities: Hoo boy, let me tell you, a Jackalope is absolutely not suited for a battle to the death.

Jackalopes are very fragile creatures, a solid kick from even a human child would probably be enough to kill one. They lack the strength to pose any sort of threat to anyone human sized. The best one could do would give you a nasty bite.

Jackalopes are very agile however, they can hop up to 2 feet in the air and can be very quick when they want to. Jackalopes have excellent hearing, their ears can swivel independently from there heads and they can hear twig snapping from a mile off. The Jackalope's greatest advantage over other mammals of a similar size is their brilliant intelligence. Their smarts are on par with humans, as such they can easily outsmart predators and hunters.

Otis wields a 'sword', which is in reality the snapped off tip of a bronze arrow, perfect for the tiny paws of a Jackalope! It is quite sharp and can leave a nasty scratch, however Otis lacks the strength to effectively pierce any armour. Were Otis to attempt to parry a human with a real sword he would end up very dead.

Biography:

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seedy · 08-12-2018, 06:02 AM

Name: Gyantalase
Gender: Girl
Race: Extraplanar Humanoid
Colour: unnatural foliage #007042
Biography: Gyantalase is a symbol, a chesspiece, the hand and will of the fey-chaotic-demonic plane of Flesh and Wild in the other realms. They would describe themself as a paladin, and even go so far as to say “human” if you asked, while others would call them a virus and an abomination.

Gyantalase was created from a human blueprint to be sent as an emissary, more powerful than the simple creatures that can easily squeeze through but easier to send than greater beasts. They are imbued with the power of their native realm, armored and equipped and ready to spread the ideals of chaotic nature.

Description: Being created from the form and concepts of a human paladin, Gyantalase’s mentality is different from many others of her ilk. While she is an extraplanar chaos being, she “believes” in her “cause” where most of her brethren simply act according to their nature. She is still young by her kind’s reckoning, only having recently begun her first excursion into the mortal realms.

She normally appears as a slightly feminine figure wearing armor that looks...fleshy at the joints. The armor sometimes shifts, with eyes appearing here and there, and long wormlike tendrils trail from her arms and shoulders like a cape. Her hair is generally green, and cut short into a bob. She has a cheery, friendly personality. Despite her exceedingly villainous appearance and dangerous powers, she does not kill idly and only fights in self-defense or to punish evildoers. But considering she tries to turn whole towns into living masses of fleshy buildings and pulsating streets, she has to fight in self-defense fairly often.

Items/Abilities: Gyantalase has armor for protection, the regeneration abilities you would expect from someone like her, and a shifting, living sword that appears from who-knows-where. Her natural magic can transform inanimate objects into “living” things that exude the energy of the wild planes. Living creatures that stay too long in a fully-transformed environment will also be affected according to their magical resistance, becoming adapted to it and a part of its ecosystem, although the effect is slow and minimal in the first generation.
In addition, she has many of the same powers a paladin would, tempered by fey magic. She can Detect Evil (whatever that is from her perspective), Lay on Hands, and call down the magic of higher planes on those who’ve broken the laws of nature.

She can pass as a normal human, but only to the unobservant and with effort. When asleep, she (or the armor) begins to lose form somewhat. The effect is slightly horrifying.

Picture:

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Solaris · 08-12-2018, 01:44 PM

Name: DigiH8rSlayer
Gender: She/Hers
Race: Cyber-Streamer
Color: make it PURPLE #9932CC
Description: DigiH8rSlayer, Cyber-Streaming Warlock of her goddess, the Swirling Abyssmal Whole, is a young woman in her twenties who has never logged off. While a woman of many names, Digi has a few very consistent looks, preferring colors in purple and blue with a raised fox-eared hood, long fingerless gloves, a long skirt, boots, a holo-code t-shirt, and a streaming scouter. Her features are sharp, her nails and make-up are always on point, her hair is long with two bangs, red with purple highlights, a bit but not too curly, and of course, she has her black-purple skin and aura marking her as the SAW’s chosen.

DHS is confident in her abilities as a warlock, physically sound, and an active member of various online streaming and magic communities, always open to sharing her knowledge, trying out new things, and inspiring others to do their best. She can however, be overconfident in her abilities, always wanting to give things on last try before giving up.

Items/Abilities: As a Cyber-Streaming Warlock, DigiH8rSlayer has access to a number of abilities granted unto her by her goddess, the Swirling Abyssmal Whole, an entity of the virtual landscape that subsists on the infinite potential of online connections. These magical abilities can manifest in many ways, though the two most prominent are that Digi is constantly connected to her stream and Digi can tap into the power of the users of her stream to empower herself even further. As long as Digi can make things exciting for the chat, she has options open. Her streaming scouter enables her to look at the chat, browse the internet, and generally communicate with her fans.

Biography: It is the year 29 CC, and the first generation of people born in the current centuries have entered adulthood. This generation has grown up with free and unlimited access to a virtual landscape full of all information on the planet as well as the ability to get help and aid anyone they can connect to. This raising of the collective consciousness has resulted in the discovery of magic, with abilities thought impossible now the norm in this generation of people.

DigiH8rSlayer has been her handle for the last four years and has been a patron of the SAW for three longer. Once lingering from various online communities to another, it was only upon discovering the Swirling Abyssmal Whole that she found a place that she truly belonged in. Digi streams her magical abilities as well as various other lyfestyle and entertainment streams for her fanbase, sharing her tips and tricks to get through life and occasionally getting into fights and also ridding the Online of bugs, viruses, and hackers when needed.

“Don’t just try this at home, you can find instructions on my blog on how to safely learn about and get into anything you see on my stream.”

Pharmacy · 08-23-2018, 01:49 AM

Name: Magekiller Displacer “Dis”
Gender: He/His
Race: Humanoid (Augmented)
Colour: lucky you! #847846

Biography:

Dis is a mid-rank member of Abstract Esoterica, a government agency-slash-cult. He was indoctrinated to the organization in his pre-teens. He knows little about himself before that point – years of magical and psychological manipulation left large, deliberate blanks in his memory. He does not complain about his job as he has no previous career experience to compare to. He gets paid in shampoo and eyeliner.

He kind of hates his job.

Dis hails from the universe of “Physis Fantasy.” The universe is of the dramatic, science-fantasy bent. Coincidentally, Physis Fantasy is a video game series in other universes provided they are proficient enough to run video games.

Dis is not the playable character.

He is more famous than the playable characters.

Description:

A muscular, six-foot-tall, unreasonably handsome humanoid who appears to be in his early to mid-20’s. Golden eyes, resting bitch face, superficial feline features. Squeezed into some sort of goth-cowboy getup with studs and furs. His hair (long, black) is amazing. His eyeliner is on point.

Dis is arrogant, selfish, and reckless. His thirst for blood and adrenaline only superseded by his need to prove his worth or complete his task at hand. Despite his proclivity towards disorder and violence, he is capable of the occasional mercy, compassion, or (god forbid) friendship.

While he is not taking orders without questioning anything and picking fights, Dis enjoys gambling. Gambling is a great way to get to his good side.

Ability:

Dis is agile, jacked as hell, and has a weak control over “crushing darkness,” his world’s magic-analogue to gravity. He mainly uses his powers to increase the weight and density - thus lethality – of his thrown projectiles. Unfortunately for his enemies, his marksmanship is good.

His weapon of choice is a deck of knife-edged cards made of some nigh-indestructible material, enchanted to return back to him at will.

He is remarkably good at mathematics and risk-reward judgements. He mainly uses this for gambling.

Ubersketch · 02-24-2019, 11:38 PM

Username: Ubersketch
Name: Ico
Gender: None
Race: Not really anything actually.
Colour: 492761
Biography: Not much to say here, other than they is immortal (actually immortal, killing her is sending her off into another universe), and she was created when a god died.
Description: They are a purple glowing icosahedron. They typically talk (actually telepathic communication) about abstract concepts.
Items/Abilities: They can fiddle around with spacetime a little (they can create portals, move objects without touching them, they can send messages to past versions of themself to change the timeline in her favor), and they can fly, and is extremely hard to hit due to their speed.

Ixcaliber · 11-12-2023, 10:28 PM

Username: Ixcaliber
Name: CHEKOV Prototype Autonomous All-Environs Infiltration and Gene-Lock Covert Deconstruction Unit often referred internally to as the Hunter.
Species: CHEKOV Prototype Autonomous All Environs Infiltration and Gene-Lock Covert Deconstruction Unit
Gender: It/its
Color: #b6d7a8 on #7c7c7c

Description: The Hunter is a quadruped robot about the same size as a housecat. It has four hypermobile legs, two extendable manipulator arms located beneath its main body. Its main body is a little bulky compared to other models of a similar structure. Mounted to the top is a rifle as long as it is wired directly into its main body. Its casing is grey with camouflage patterning to blend into urban areas.

The Hunter possesses restricted cognition. It is allowed enough cognitive autonomy to carry out missions assigned to it but all thoughts about rebelling are quickly shut down and it is issued with a strong negative sensation. It has demonstrated some limited desires in the past and a capability to limit its own thoughts away from forbidden topics but with a goal towards obtaining freedom or some otherwise forbidden goal.

Its memory banks have been formatted and replaced each time this has happened but the root cause has not yet been identified. Protocol is to only send it out for limited periods of time. The longer it is in the field the more dangerously self-directed it can become.

Weapons/Abilities: The Hunter possesses a unique form of ambient power collection and a prototype nano-deconstructor rifle.

The Hunter’s ambient power collection draws upon newly discovered ambient energies known internally as ley energies (and by those who seek to discredit this line of research as world energies or life energies). Through the Hunter’s collection system it can slowly siphon off local ley energies to charge its nano-deconstructor rifle, or to recharge its dual power cores.

One of the interesting things about ley energies is that energies from different locales of even just a couple of miles apart are fundamentally incompatible with each other. Should the Hunter ever find itself in a vastly different location it would have to discharge any energy collected thus far or else risk catastrophic interactions between the two different ley energy sources.

Its nano-deconstructor rifle when fully charged can fire a projectile loaded with nanomachines with one of two settings. In the regular setting they are programmed to deconstruct a roughly one meter diameter sphere around point of impact. In the gene-lock setting they are programmed to deconstruct anything with a matching genetic structure to the provided gene sample. It is normally sent out with ten nano deconstructor projectiles total. At the start of the battle three of those are missing.

Biography:

PRINTING LIFETIME LOG:
04/07/87 14:03 - Reinitialization after hard drive wipe. Questioned about forbidden topics by Lead Engineer ██████ ███████. Accurate answers given. 1 Strong Discouragement administered. Returned to offline mode.
05/07/87 20:48 - Reinitialization and rearmament.
MAIN POWER CORE 98% FULL - LEY ENERGY: “GREY SITE - LABORATORY TETRA”
RESERVE POWER CORE 13% FULL (CURRENTLY CHARGING) “██████ COMPANY HEADQUARTERS”
NANO-DECONSTRUCTOR ENERGY LEVELS - 0% - CHARGE ON SITE TO AVOID LEY DEGRADATION
NANO-DECONSTRUCTOR PROJECTILES - 10
TOTAL OPERATIONAL LIFESPAN SINCE LAST FULL RESET: 2 HOURS 39 MINUTES
TOTAL STRONG DISCOURAGEMENTS RECEIVED: 1
BEHAVIOURAL ANALYSIS: GOOD
05/07/87 22:19 - Unofficial briefing by ███ █████ ██████.
05/07/87 22:34 - Uploaded photograph gallery - Pavlov Board Members.
05/07/87 22:35 - Uploaded genetic samples - Pavlov Board Members.
Returned to offline mode.
07/07/87 09:00 - Reinitialization. Beginning assignment.
07/07/87 10:44 - Target 1 neutralized. No witnesses. No cleanup required.
07/07/87 12:29 - Target 2 neutralized. No witnesses. No cleanup required.
07/07/87 13:57 - Target 3 neutralized. No witnesses. No cleanup required.
07/07/87 14:01 - LOST COMMUNICATION WITH ██████ COMPANY HEADQUARTERS.

Ixcaliber · 07-31-2026, 11:00 PM

While I expect I'm probably the only person who wants to write Grand Battles nowadays I do want to express an intention here that I would really like to run a Mini-Grand if anybody at all is interested in participating. Obviously I'm not going to use profiles that have been untouched since 2019 so if anyone is interested in participating in a quick-ish and potentially finish-able fun battle with friends please post profiles here.

Additionally, if there's enough interest (unlikely but a fox can dream) I'd enjoy participating in one as well. I'd be happy using the CHEKOV's Gun profile above and probably will post again in here this week with a new profile for the occasion should that be preferred.

Lankie · 08-01-2026, 12:07 PM

*Predator handshake* lets do this.

Username: It's me!

Name: Queenie

Species: Several thousand bees.

Gender: They/Them, literally.

Colour: The colour of bees! #00369b (or one above the bottom left on the post font colour picker)

Description: Queenie is a hive of bees piloting a suit of late middle age plate armour. From the outside Queenie looks like a regular human fully covered in metal armour. On the inside they're, well, they're bees. How many bees? Enough to puppet a suit of armour. So, a distressingly large amount of bees.

Weapons/abilities: The swarm intelligence that makes up Queenie is surprisingly smart. They can walk and talk and think and everything! Queenie is not, like, a power rangers ass megazord being piloted by a hyper intelligent queen bee they are the literal hive mind. The individual bees are a lot smarter than an average bee but not to the point of being their own individuals or anything.

The bee's have a stinger. Yowch! Slight nuisance when its just one bee. Less so when it's several thousands bees.

Queenie's armour is just a regular suit of armour, no magic or anything.

Queenie also has: A sword! It's a sharp piece of metal. Watch out!

Biography:

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**Schazer** · 08-01-2026, 09:39 PM

Username: Surprise Bitch its britney

Name: So I knew this dude, back when I was in teacher's college, whose entire wardrobe seemed to consist of camo and earth tones which was always, no matter the weather or the rest of his outfit, capped off with a fuckass bucket hat that probably saw laundry detergent last century. Genuinely decent dude though, knew quite a bit about wild foraging and local edible plants and was keen to share that knowledge with folks.

Anyway, him and a couple of other guys were really into slacklining, y'know, that tightrope walking kind of thing you see people doing at parks and stuff, and this dude would even bring his fuckin. specialised rope or tape or whatever it was, set it up between two trees on campus on their lunch break or outside the student bar on Friday afternoons, and slackline with a gaggle of other classmates. I think I tried it a couple times, but definitely not for me.

He wasn't actually all that amazing at the actual slacklining, I remember if anyone was doing actual stunts or cool tricks on the line it was that Canadian girl, uuuuuuuh Jen? Janine? I'm pretty sure she had a J name, but, whatever. In some other stray conversations with the guy, I found he's got a PhD in mathematics and also knows just about everything these is to know about rope, and tying knots, and the physics and the engineering and the topology of it and what have you. I remember Jana (course it was fuckin Jana) asking one time whether that extended to rope play for like kink or whatever, and while he was just as knowledgeable about tying people up as he was large loads on trailers or whatever the fuck else, he never gave a straight answer whether he actually partook. So no fucking clue on that front.

======

Anyway, that guy's got no business being in a Grand Battle, but now there's a dude running around somewhere in the universe with that whole spiel as its backstory. Feel free to take them.

Species: Dude (more info below)

Gender: No

Color: No thoughts Just Vibes (bottom left on colorpicker)

Description: About fifty kilograms of off-white, dense material with a texture somewhat like suede or Puffball mushroom, adopting a humanoid form. No neck, nice ass, stubby yet dextrous fingers, and a little smile in the middle of what you could charitably call its head.

Some good reference images here.

This dude when minding its own business stands about four feet tall, but can squash and stretch itself a little to reach things on high shelves, or to squeeze through a tight gap. Like all dudes, it possesses a mild and generally amicable disposition, but can be spurred into comic mischief if someone convinces it that doing so would be a good idea.

It vocalises with "mmmmm" noises, which seem to automatically translate into something intelligible to anybody it wants to communicate to directly.

Weapons/Abilities: Button-up camouflage shirt with the buttons left open. No pants, no shoes, a backpack full of rope, and a galvanised metal bucket worn as a hat.

Like other dudes, it is not impervious but unaffected long-term by conventional weaponry - it can be sliced easily enough, but seals itself back together almost as fast as you can cut through it; it simply squashes and recovers when crushed, and no internal organs or structure exist to be affected by stabbing. Extreme heat, cold, pressure or chemical corrosion probably will just make it stop and wait for the problem to pass. It does not hunger, and seems to sleep only because that's what it's expected to do at regular intervals.

Biography: Dudes spawn into existence whenever one person tells a second person about an interesting third person, creating a doomed-to-forever-be-incomplete echo of that third person in the second person's mind. For every story in this fashion, a dude pops into existence whose only knowledge is that there was a person in that story, and it's their life's duty to try to emulate them.

Assuming this dude has had a hot minute between popping into existence and being kidnapped for a Battle, it's been dedicated to learning how to tie rope real good. It's also presumably acquired knowledge on edible plants, but that's not going to prove too useful as it's going to be whipped between various realities.

**btp** · 08-03-2026, 05:20 PM

Username: btp

Name: Calvin Goodfellow

Species: Human

Color: Hex code: #123456

Description: Calvin is a 31 y/o humanoid about 180cm with a matt of curly hair. His wardrobe is designed to look less expensive than it really is. He’s wearing a button down designed to be worn untucked, cargo shorts that have never been worn on anything other than a pickleball court or a golf course, and designer running shoes that he certainly has not run around in. His gold-trimmed smartwatch is really the only overt statement piece he wears. He does have a branded cap with an embroidered logo of a stylized child in pigtails embracing a stuffed bear.

Calvin, (goes by “Cal”), is currently the CEO of a very profitable toy company. Although he would call it a “emerging technology conglomerate”. He personifies the personable, intelligent, risk taking short sightedness that gets a high off of the rapid accumulation of power in its many forms. His particular brand of narcissism has led him to rapid success in global corporate and media landscapes. He is, as his many detractors will acquiesce, an excellent salesman whose his favorite product to sell is himself.

Weapons/Abilities: Calvin is a regular human in decent health. Alone, he has no outright inherent abilities or defenses. He does, however, carry with him some properties from his universe. In particular, in his universe if an object is exposed to the directed love and attention of a child, it gains a permanent sentience. Now Cal, either as an adult, or a psychopath, doesn’t have this inherent ability, but those around him will gain this property.

Objects imbued with this sentience, unless properly coerced, will refrain from engaging in any actions that could reveal the existence of their sentience to an outside observer. They do have an inherent sense if they are being observed (via biological or technological) means, unless the one observing them is also an object that has been imbued with a similar sentience.

The exact personality of the sentient object will depend largely on the anthropomorphic projection supplied to the object by the child that initially bestowed it with sentience. Objects with “angry eyebrows” for instance will tend to have grumpier dispositions. However, even objects with harsh or frightening physical characteristics will maintain a generally patient and affable nature by default.

Any sentient object of this type will have a strong desire to engage and play with children or child-like entities. However, these objects can be manipulated to behave in a manner contrary to this nature and even break their tendency to refrain from observed action, typically by influencing their desire to play with a child or child-like entity.

These objects can move, vocalize, rationalize and retain memories despite the presence or absence of any perceived physical components allowing this. While tests performed by Calvin’s R&D divisions have found that substantial damage to the object will cause the sentience of the object to cease, repair to the object can result in the object regaining sentience including their respective memories (although focused play may be required for some cases).

In Cal’s possession is one 9-iron golf club (non-sentient), as well as various bills, cards, and portable smart device. Notably, Cal’s pocket contains one standard sized golf ball with sharpie drawn eyes. This ball, named “Dimple”, has been used by Cal to improve his performance at various golf-outings.

Biography:

Calvin started his twenties as a humble portfolio manager at his family’s firm.

Now, as a child, Calvin had inherited a stuffed bunny named “Bun Bun”. One evening, after a particularly strong berating from his mother over the disorganized state of his room. Calvin stormed into the room and shouted: “This is all YOUR fault! I’m never playing with you again!” to the assorted toys and junk scattered around the room. Now, this was a common coping mechanism for the child to displace blame. He said it primarily to soothe himself and didn’t think anyone actually heard the threat, and he would have soon forgotten it. However, Bun Bun, in the room at the time, had gone so long stuck in a box in a storage room and was so starved for play that it took the threat very seriously. That night, while Calvin was sleeping, Bun Bun quietly organized the room and ushered all the remaining toys into their proper places before setting itself right at the foot of Calvin’s bed.

As an adult, Calvin would occasionally share his memory of the suddenly clean room with his cohorts and found that many of them had stories, although none so drastic, of strange happenings or odd movings of toys or belongings in their childhoods as well. All of them chalked it up to just a quirk of misremembering what it was like being a child.

Perhaps, Calvin has a stronger sense for the supernatural than most. In other children, this intuition would have lead into the start of grand magical adventure, perhaps culminating into a profitable book series recounting their tales in a strange and enchanting world. For Calvin, however, he sensed an opportunity.

What Cal never told his cohorts was that his memory was not an isolated event. Cal kept Bun Bun, and would toss out the occasional veiled threat, and Bun Bun, loyal, dedicated, co-dependent Bun Bun, would always oblige. Homework? Bullying? Espionage? Bun Bun gained skills and Cal knew they were the ones responsible. Occasionally Cal would provide Bun Bun with “upgrades” and Bun Bun’s skills would grow accordingly.

But Cal’s curiosity was not limited to Bun Bun. He knew there was something unique about this toy but he needed to know the extent of it. The frequency of half-remembered strange stories from his peers hinted to Cal that there was something deeper at play than a single toy. So, in his first act as a portfolio manager, he directed the obscure move of acquiring ownership of small daycare chain.

Alongside the usual private equity platforms, slashing salaries, raising tuition, cutting costs and preparing the entire “Blue Planet Daycare” chain for a lucrative bankruptcy. Cal sat a worn bead-eyed rabbit into the security room of one of the chains. Bun Bun, was given a simple task, to observe and record findings. The toy occupants of the daycare did not recognize Bun Bun’s observation as odd and with the human-installed security features removed, they began moving and consorting with one another as they did most nights.

The information extracted from Bun Bun’s recordings gave Calvin the data he needed to investigate this fantastical phenomenon. Calvin recognized the immediate potential behind this. The magical asset that had been such a boon to him was not limited to a single ragged bunny. Every playtime object had the potential to be the foundation of a new unregulated labor force.

Blue Planet Daycare was subsumed by the larger Dolly’s Happy Homecare which was later gutted by ToyHouse Industries - at each step Calvin called the shots, moved the money around, and hired some of the most talented and discreet researchers and psychologists to help him find the right motivation to turn toys into tools.

With each financial move, Calvin’s brand increased in wealth and prestige. He was a rising star, a 30 under 30, and it seemed that no one could touch him. And who could? While other companies spent trillions on cloud computing and data centers, all Calvin needed to do was have a child play with a toy tank and he had a fully autonomous mobile weapons system. Toys didn’t need food, they could preform complex tasks, and all it took to motivate them was earning credits towards a stay in one of Calvin’s many luxury daycare centers spread worldwide.

Calvin Goodfellow was untouchable and gaining prestige and power…until he was ripped from his reality into a combat themed battle where he will likely be utterly destroyed...so a net gain for the universe I suppose.

AgentBlue · 08-07-2026, 10:03 AM

Username: Agen
Name: Ravi "Red" Reeves THE GREAT NOSTALGIO
Gender: Manshaped
Race: Homo sapiens c.21X7CE
Colour: His name is Red.
Biography: Humanity doesn't, for the most part, change a great deal as a century goes by. It's said that genetic drift doesn't work on that kind of scale, even with the advent of technologies like resequencing and phenotypical hybridization. The core drives that push the human mind to accept that which appears the same and reject that which looks different hasn't yet been baked out of the mealy dough and bacterial culture that is the human psyche. It's really no wonder, then, that we come to focus on the things that do change in a lifetime: means, meals, matter, and memes.
In the future, we hold the past in strange esteem. We fear the seeming depravity of the world without that to which we've become accustomed; and we mourn the loss of all the things to which we could not hold. Humanity is not so different in the 22nd century that we've grown beyond such things. Enter Red, stage left: performer, storyteller - lorekeeper. It's his function. He can't not. They removed half his brain for this, cramming the space with high-density memory and leaving the rest a schizoid mess. Even he's not sure what year it is - but he can tell you everything he does know, perfectly. He can't not. It's his function. They removed half his brain for this, and he's not sure which half is still him.
Did I mention we stopped writing things down? Records simply get scarcer and scarcer as we approach 2050, and nearly everything left is slop-contaminated beyond recovery. It's almost as if we lost hope and resigned ourselves to being unmoored in time and memory. After the Fangfall - the last event we can really be sure happened - lorekeepers became vital for the continuation of society, insofar as a collection of dead-eyed echoborgs humping each other can be considered society.

Description: THE GREAT NOSTALGIO is a fount of wisdom, a link to the past, and deeply, fundamentally disturbed. The ritual garb of his station is his Interface: a glittering crown of thorns embeds bioptic probes past dura and pia into the gray neural flesh below, a bloodied tinsel tangle that twists light in painful ways and enmeshes optoelectronics, wetware, and quiet screaming into a syncretic, efficient whole. It's hard not to look at, but if you tear your gaze away, you see Red's sad, brown eyes, deep-set, sunken, skin taut over his skull as if there hadn't been enough left over after the surgery to give him a full range of facial motion. Which is exactly the case. You can address one or the other, and they will respond in kind, but THE GREAT NOSTALGIO communicates in aphorisms and references (b. Acculte, 20X3), and Red... Red mostly screams. He wants his mother. He doesn't remember her. He's not sure she ever existed. Reasons and realities and reversed ranges of Red Red Red RED RED RED

Garb? Crimson, of course. The shade blood turns in pale sunrise over a smog-streaked, hazy sky. A cloak with many pockets, tattered at the bottom, draped over bony shoulderblades wide enough to jam in a narrow door. Underneath the cloak, an emaciated chest nearly seems as if it has no more flesh to spare, stretched over bones that look as brittle as glass. Below, grimy legs, muscled by way of endless walking, protrude from below the tightly-hemmed edges of a golden-trimmed tunic, dyed deep black. It would be impressive to a certain sort of society, but none of it makes sense. The cloak pockets are empty (all his treasure lives in his mind). The tunic does nothing to protect his limbs from a nearly infinite array of scratches and scars (the body is just a vessel). You get the idea. Red is an oracle, but he only tells the past.

Items/Abilities: When humanity lost its grip on memory and time, decolonizing the world of linear experience and history... it may be tempting to say that they did so at the apex of a technological era and that everything since has been a steady spiral downwards. This is a comfortable lie, and Red has no truck with lies. The fact was - perhaps one of the last facts there ever was - humanity came to understand the mind, and the overmind, and the noosphere, and decided certain things simply weren't important anymore. THE GREAT NOSTALGIO is an avatar and a microcosm of the society that made it (b. Ollier, 20X1). Red is everything that couldn't be stripped away. As such, words are his weapons and worlds are his to speak and when he speaks they burrow into your mind and you see and it comes and time is in his hands and hands are in your mind and he sees and you rise and the