You Wake Up In A Bar

Seems wise to wash some cups, once O'Hare's drink is done.

>Break out those Fermented Unicorn Tears for maximum maudlin reminiscence.
>What's the book's cover made of? If it's leather, maybe put some hydroxypropylcellulose and isopropanol in the drink to help O'Hare keep his cover stable and protected from red rot. (Make sure it won't poison him, though.)

>Offer to add the hydroxypropylcellulose and isopropanol before you put them in the drink.
>We've ah. Learned our lesson the first time.

>Arcanuse's suggested response is probably the best. We want to give as little information as possible.
>If Stax continues to pry after we give him vague non-answers (and knowing him...), threaten to throw him out. This is the one thing we cannot compromise on.


You mentioned somewhere you were using "green" music. Here are some suggestions:

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Spoiler That's right! They're all jazz! Hahahahaha!

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more like

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use this to segue into free jazz and really clear the bar out for the dinnertime customers. especially stax, i'm getting tired of his act. but before he goes make sure to play:

You've picked out another track for the radio. Songs with 'green' in their name have a particular calling to you, and so does jazz-- even in your limited experience, you've already developed a preference. The improvisational, slow piano track you put on eases your nerves.

In addition, you begin putting together O'Hare's drink. With little to go off of, your mind goes back to earlier ingredients, and their particular fizziness, especially Dementia's Bile.

First, though: it's time to shut down Stax's triplicate question game.

















Stax flickers briefly, lets out a huff of heated gas, and caves.





You do so-- leaning close to him and speaking softly enough that the patrons couldn't particularly hear, even if they were trying. Laren and O'Hare seem to be particularly trying to avoid hearing anything, so as to keep it private.







Secrets have been exchanged-- and you pull back, satisfied with the fact that Stax was actually able to be somewhat straightforward, for once.




















You set down the drink, with two distinct separated layers-- and set the topmost layer on fire with one of your bartendery lighters! It emits a quickly swirling soft-blue flame, yet isn't too hot at all. Your inner sacred moss isn't even scared.





o'hare




You immediately suffocate the flame with a damp rag. As neat as it was, it's for the better. Goodbye, rad-ass flames.

O'Hare breathes a sigh of relief, and begins drinking with much more enthusiasm.














You get the faintest notion that Stax is doing this to be mean.

You're incredibly low on both plates and drinks, and you can already hear somebody else outside the bar, heading towards the entrance. At this point, it's becoming difficult to keep up with the orders, and since making eggs, Stax hasn't done much more than clean up spilled coffee without orders.

What do you do?

Cup status: 2 occupied (Tangy's Rooted Bean, O'Hare's Dynamic Dynamite), 4 dirty (Chocolate Bug Yuenyeung, Sweet Tooth, spilled Coffee, X-Treme Marine), 0 free
Plate status: 1 dirty (TQoaBT), 3 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

With completion of O'Hare's flaming rad drink, you've added some more entries to The Cabinet. That thing's really filling up, but there are still so, so many things left undiscovered underneath your bar.

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Author's Notes
Sorry for the additional wait for this one. I must've caught a bug of some sort, it's wavered in and out of making me feel like garbage and I haven't been able to do all the work I really wanted to.

Tell Stax you'll get right on making him some lunch if he'll be a darling and get to work cleaning the dirty stuff. Tell him if he does a Good Job, you might even give him a discount. He is sorta an employee kinda-ish.

As for his Ice-cream Sandwhich. Literally just do that. Single scoop of icecream between two slices of plain bread. He wants to order something That's probably complicated and then not even give you a hint as to how to make it? That's fine. You've told him you're flying blind here and so he's just deliberately setting himself up for intentional disappointment so he can feel smug. at least this way, it won't be at all hard to clean up after.

He's even getting exactly what he asked for. It's Icecream. It's a sandwich. Four points? well hotdiggety, what's a slice of bread but a Quadrangular trapezoid? Four corners are what quadrangles are Known for. Deluxe? He's getting TWICE the amount of bread that something actually needs to qualify as a Sandwich. Whaddayacall that kind of extravagance if NOT deluxe?

Since we already technically had Stax pay for his drink with egg making, I'm not sure he'll be willing to play dishwasher. It'd be better if he does, but if he refuses we might be able to rope Laren into washing some stuff as payment for her eggs.

As for the ice cream sandwich, that seems simple enough. Two waffles, with four scoops of ice cream in between them. Since we're serving an energetic, we could probably use some unconventional ingredients, like maybe cyanide flavored ice cream. Garnish with gunpowder to make it look extra luxurious.

While Stax is a bit of a troublemaker and seems to be racist against fish, it might be good to not displease the guy so we can prod him for some more info.

Tell Stax you'll get right on making him some lunch if he'll be a darling and get to work cleaning the dirty stuff. Tell him if he does a Good Job, you might even give him a discount. He is sorta an employee kinda-ish.

As for his Ice-cream Sandwhich. Literally just do that. Single scoop of icecream between two slices of plain bread. He wants to order something That's probably complicated and then not even give you a hint as to how to make it? That's fine. You've told him you're flying blind here and so he's just deliberately setting himself up for intentional disappointment so he can feel smug. at least this way, it won't be at all hard to clean up after.

He's even getting exactly what he asked for. It's Icecream. It's a sandwich. Four points? well hotdiggety, what's a slice of bread but a Quadrangular trapezoid? Four corners are what quadrangles are Known for. Deluxe? He's getting TWICE the amount of bread that something actually needs to qualify as a Sandwich. Whaddayacall that kind of extravagance if NOT deluxe?

Not only do i like the wording, this smart. Hopefully stax doesnt get too huffy over it. Secondin'!

I'd disagree that Stax is setting himself up for dissapointment here. It's not like he's asking for something specific. After all, there's no universal recipe for a (deluxe) icecream sandwich. It's just that he's knowingly asking for one while we need to clean some things.

>Make Stax wait while you clean all the cups. Tell him if he wants the sammich faster, he can help you clean. It's his call. But you need those cups ready for new customers before you can do anything else.

>If he helps, make him a good sandwich. If not, make him a sarcastic sandwich.

>Press O'Hare on his past while he's still under the effects of the unicorn tears. See if you can get him to start rambling about something.

An idea pops into your head all on its own, and nobody else influences it. You'll play Stax like a fiddle-- or at least trip him up a little. If he wants a sandwich now, you'll certainly get him one. Sort of.








The masterpiece dish only takes you a moment to make, and you plate it, offering it to Stax, who stands almost next to you.






The soft, slightly magenta man-o'-star stares at it blankly, dumbfounded. He almost can't believe it.











Stax stiffly begins washing one of the dirty cups, and you get to work on one, as well. You're teaming up at the sink! Laren raises her head from staring down at the table, which she's been doing for a while, to try and resolve the tension a little.






...yeah, you're just not going to interact with that whole paragraph.






O'Hare wipes his eyes clean of tears. The drink's really getting to him, and there's plenty yet to go.








Stax glances his head back from the sink, just as both you and him finish cleaning a cup each.










As you're about to try and help the tension, relieve the atmosphere, the door to Starwood Bough pops open once more, and a patron enters-- with a thin, terrifying figure, a very pale skin, and face lacking most features, save for a mouth which oozes oil and two indentations where eyes might typically be.

They speak, and you detect the faintest hint of a cockney accent-- but in the sort of way that walls occasionally sound like whispers, rather than a true accent. It's truly worrying.




Stax seems very excited. Everybody else in the bar is visibly put off, though O'Hare continues taking nibbles at his "Yeah, Screw You, Stax", with more enjoyment than he expected to have.

Tangy and Sweet would have left a while ago, but it seems Tangy is taking his time with his Rooted Bean. O'Hare is far from done with his drink (and new meal), as well-- so for now, the bar is quite full up.

Cup status: 2 occupied (Tangy's Rooted Bean, O'Hare's Dynamic Dynamite), 2 dirty (spilled Coffee, X-Treme Marine), 2 free
Plate status: 1 occupied (O'Hare's Y,SY,S), 1 dirty (TQoaBT), 2 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

For your arguably deluxe, arguably quad-pointer, and arguably ice cream sandwich, you have gained some useful entries in the Cabinet!

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Author's Notes
Thanks to Tuesbirdy for the awesome cameo/addition of what is essentially an alternate-universe NAME, from their adventure The Neverywhere Inn!

I've also updated past updates with something that I think I should have included since the start-- pronouns for newly-introduced characters! However, with Greene, it's still unclear exactly what they identify as, so if that's something you'd like to more clearly specify, feel free to!

inform them of our strict "no shirt, only socks and shoes, no service" policy and then throw ice at them until they leave

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Oh hello there ol' pal. Nice of you to drop in. Won't be chatting directly too much, y'know?

>"Sustenance, eh?"
>"I know just the thing."
>Saute up some lamb (rare doneness) with a light moloch's blood and void dust sauce.

>Put Krokoan Averagecream in whatever the heck drink you make next. No matter what it is. Make an Averagecream Averagefloat.

I figure Greene's Pronouns are just "Greene"

For NAME, Sautee some Vendbeast, and Garnish with some of the Prizes it kept in its translucent Gullet, to be traded for coins and other, similarily Shiny objects

>Put Krokoan Averagecream in whatever the heck drink you make next. No matter what it is. Make an Averagecream Averagefloat.

Averagecream and Unicorn Tears

We definitely don't want to mention anything around this guy. Not even ooc.

Greene should be "they"/just Greene

>Ask NAME about some good places to find ingredients. You'll probably start running low soon, and they look like they would know.

This guy needs a whole live goat. With sprinkles. Do we have any insta-goat lying around?

Woah, hello there mr no pants fancy seein' you here!!
>would u like a blueberry
(imo i think we should stick with they, or Greene like a few o' the posters above me already said)

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Spoiler Well Hi there! Bit unusual to find a patron that can see these!

>Make something simple for NAME, like a sandwich.
>when finished with that, make Stax something of quality.
>maybe flirt with stax. Maybe.

The radio ticks to a new song. The tension of the bar seems to have had a serendipitous influence on the tone of the proceeding track, and it isn't helping the patrons' mood much. Still, some part of you appreciates the match.

NAME isn't making you feel great about things. You decide to try and nab an easy out of this situation-- perhaps going against your original mission statement, for your own safety.






Sweet leans forth, incredulous.






NAME, the thin figure once clothed in only socks and shoes, has taken off their shoes. They are now wearing only socks. Technically, this means they have fulfilled your original guideline of not wearing just socks and shoes. Damn, that's smooth.





You start work on a meal for NAME! You begin heating up the stove in case it ends up being part of your plan, but a big question is what sort of meat you're going to use. As you glance around, you notice a few potential items:

- Some sort of prize bauble, vaguely fleshy, with a neon-orange button on top
- A starkly red box that says "GOAT CUBE", with a small subtitle of "JUST ADD WATER"
- Dismembered animal leg? This might be a lamb, but you're not sure











NAME lowers their head, facing towards you, with face contorting into an expression that can only be described as mildly offended confusion.




Your Egg Coordinator finishes washing another cup, before perking his head up-- very excited by this new hint of news about you.












Laren lets out a shaky breath.






After stiffening and sitting still for the entirety of this exchange, Tangy finally hits his last straw-- and slams two arms down on the table with an immaculate 'thud', leaving behind a handful of coins as he nearly growls out some words. He doesn't seem upset at you, but he's clearly not happy with the situation here, nor the offer that NAME just made you.






He begins dragging his large aunt back, attempting to get out of the bar by any means necessary, staring at you and averting his gaze from NAME, who- clearly amused by this situation- glares back without eyes.






Laren gives the best wave she can manage, and O'Hare gives her just a nod. NAME shifts back to face you, expectant-- awaiting a response. Stax seems to be doing the same.

Tangy and Sweet have left the bar quite satisfied, but in a huff. You gained thirty red glass tokens.

Cup status: 1 occupied (O'Hare's Dynamic Dynamite), 2 dirty (X-Treme Marine, Rooted Bean), 3 free
Plate status: 2 occupied (O'Hare's Y,SY,S, NAME's unfinished meal), 1 dirty (TQoaBT), 1 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled

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Author's Notes
So this upcoming meal you're making for NAME is a 3-turn meal to make, and I'm counting this turn as one of those 3, despite the fact that not much cooking has gone on. Just figured I'd note that much, since ya have some decisions and refinement to make when it comes to the main meat!

let's cook their shoes and feed them back to them

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Reader's Notes
motherfucker i simply don't give a shit, about you or really any of the crap you're talking about. respect for the rules-as-stated nudism but like, you're not even creepy like you're trying for, you're just obnoxious like stax. there's more in the world than you, brother.

also hope you like the song i found

Yeah, I Like NAME's AU Counterpart, but, like, Harvesting Locals is not my jam. If For No Other Reason Than that's potential Customers what're probably unpleased with the concept of being fed things harvested from their own selves.

I Seriously don't want to annoy any customers on this, our first day, but, like, Name is freaking out, like, half the people in the Joint. And Stax likes them which can't be a good thing. Suggest we give them the Goat Cube, with the Proviso that it's "To Go"

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>Politely decline the offer. Sentients are not, and will not, be on the menu.
>Use the leg of animal meat. It being lamb meat is dubious, but it will do.

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smile 4 the customer!!!!!!!

NO BLUEBERRIES NO BLUEBERRIES, CTRL+X

>uh
>think we should be safe and start with the goat cubes. Dump some salt in a boiling pot of water and throw em in. Then take em out, dry em, and sear em in a pan with an egg mixed in. Do we have black pepper? If we do we should sprinkle that in. I dunno if this dish would even taste good cus' im the part of the hivemind that cant cook for shit so

[Look here Mc spooky we dont want no trouble. We also dont want no local harvests. we got ourselves a lil herb plant on the windowsill and thats local enough, string bean. Also its cuter]