You Wake Up In A Bar

Do Lordly's suggestion but also Chwoka's at the same time.

You lower your voice a little.








You let out a small sigh, seeing as you're not going to get much help with this drink. It pops into your head to make something similar to a smoothie, and then serve it in a basket-- but unfortunately, all you have for now is a set of drinking glasses. Still, you begin grinding up some fruit and ice, preparing it as the two patrons talk.












You finish up the drink at last, and set it on the counter in front of Stax, who eyes it cautiously.



The markings next to each ingredient denote how much the patron will enjoy both a given ingredient as well as its proportion to the others-- this is known as 'tender sense, and may not work for all patrons.




He begins taking slow drinks.






From the entranceway, another patron appears-- and you realize that the sound of an automobile that you heard pulling up was actually this locomotive shark, drifting along the ground with whirring and groaning, before revving up and hopping onto one of your stools.





edit: Your cup status is currently at two occupied, one dirty, two free.

With your fourth drink down, you've unlocked a whole host of entries on substances in your Cabinet.

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Author's Notes
Thanks for ya patience! I've been trying to make this a more relaxing experience to update than my other adventure, and it's been exciting to make these updates without being too stressful. There might be two a day, there might be off-days, but I have a lot of interest in YWUIAB right now and hope to make it as fun as possible!

one glass of artisinally-melted ice, coming right up

edit: and while you're slow-cooking this, wash a cup and make chatter

>Give this shark-tank a nickel!

Give them a lil fishy swimmin in a fishbowl of pure alcohol

dont worry the fish is fine

>Open up a fresh can of CHOWN for the shark. You know, this stuff:



Don't forget to change its ownership first, or you won't be able to open it.

You immediately prep a 'drink'-- though it's a bit unorthodox, and makes you laugh softly as you prepare it. You sprinkle some 'chowm' on top for good measure, spotting that it's apparently suitable for sharks and fish of sharkly nature.

All in all, it only takes a couple dozen seconds.



With that finished, you begin washing the glowing patron's old cup, which still has most of the Unicorn Bile in it-- though you're able to extract the nickel and clean it off without a problem. Finishing this wash will take a full turn, but as you can't see anyone coming into the building for now, this seems well-timed.





Laren leans forth, rubbing her tired eyes.

Terry nods, but his gaze is very intent on the glass of ice, and so he remains quiet.









You recall at the back of your mind that none of your patrons have paid yet. The thought is pushed away by the next thought that they've only been here a little while.

Perfume served in a bowler hat

now it's time for soup

Fried eggs and bacon with soup on the side.

Perfume served in a bowler hat

now it's time for soup

This. But add eggs. Don't fry them, just put them in the soup. And hang a banana off the side, because everyone likes bananas.

Also, check around for something to keep track of everyone's tab. Like a notebook, or a box of index cards, or a bunch of colored yarn with seashells strung on it.

(Ugh, Golly, Y'all're uncultured swine. It's a Single Plum, Floating in perfume, Served in a Man's Hat. Also, Don't serve this. Chortles aside, you have a limited supply of ingredients, and no idea how to replenish them. What if someone specifically ASKS for this, hrrm?)

Grab them by the neck, open their sweet tooth containing maw and extract a single solitary pearly white. The contract has been sealed you will say as you pour a whole bag of sugar into their mouth.

(Don't do this, either)

Finish washing the glass, first, Then you can get onto preparing the breakfast. Ask if Laren has any special dietary needs, or anything. Vegetarian, Vegan, Deathly allergic to cheese? You Don't wanna mess this up.

it seems like the limited ingredients are less an incentive to play cautiously and more an incentive to keep making up crazy bullshit, to me

Rub some molasses on a mango and grill it by holding it above the stove. Season with a pinch of salt and two servings of powdered sugar.

You nod enthusiastically to Laren's request. Thanks to the fact that Terry's drink took almost no effort, and almost no time, you're done with the dishwashing quite early on in the turn, and begin work on her breakfast meal. As it's relatively complicated and large, this will take three turns to prepare, including this one.












Terry is still staring adamantly at his cup as the ice slowly, slowly, slowly melts.




Just as you're about to reply, however, you notice the front door swing open without warning-- and two unexpected, insectoid patrons barge into the tavern with some tiredness, and very distinct intergalactic courier garb.




The first approaches you, standing as stiffly as she can muster.




The other, Voronezh, buzzes his mandibles and attempts to clarify further.

It appears that these patrons are hurrying you. As you aren't yet finished with the previous order, attempting to fulfill these requests now will require you to multitask-- rolling an unfavorable die, given your low skill. Stopping work on Laren's breakfast may also ruin the eggs and sweet grilled mango.

This difficult scenario may earn you an upgrade to your bartending level, provided you can find a way to resolve it.

edit: Cup status: 2 free, 3 occupied.

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Author's Note
Thank you Myeth SO MUCH for these portraits. Bug pair's insanely well designed and there's so much character in just what they're wearing and carrying, let alone the actual species design. Did a wonderful job and super flattered ya want to do stuff for this adventure.

Speaking of this adventure, I mentioned earlier-- I'm tryna take it a little easier this time! There will be days where I have 0 updates, days with 1, days with 2-- that sort of thing. I know y'all are a wonderful patient bunch, but it's hard not to try and force myself to update as fast as possible (and get massively anxious when I can't for whatever reason).

So that little hiatus was an experiment! Hope ya enjoy this update and all future ones regardless of sporadic scheduling!

Roll The Dice Of Fate and try and get that sweet, Sweet Uplevel. The better we are at tending, the better we can GET at Bartending. And, Thankfully, Preparing coffee and Tea aren't as distracting as mixing a drink would be. The Main Step in the process for making both is boiling water and that shouldn't cause too much hassle, even assuming you're using a non-electrical Kettle. For the Tea-Fan, Prepare some Chamomile tea. I know it's somewhat cliche as a "Relaxing" Tea, but cliches are often cliches for a reason and our friend looks as though they could use some relaxation.

As for the coffee, I have no idea about Any Of That, since I don't drink it, but a quick and frantic Googling suggests the Best Chocolatey Coffees are the ones that taste that way naturally, as opposed to dumping chocolatey Powder Stuff In. But then, What do I know?

Also, remember to ask if they take it with milk, cream, or sugar. The coffee guy. Anyone adding any of those to a herbal tea is a cretin

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Reader's Note It's all good, Fam. I wouldn't even call that lil' break you took a hiatus. sporadic updates are fine with me, and they help prevent Author Burnout (It's really bad for their tyres and can ruin their Drivetrain). This is Free Entertainment On The Internet, so, like, don't worry too much about how often you update. We understand you're a Real Person With A Life Outside Of Entertaining Us so, like, Take it at your own pace and, like, Have Fun

combine the coffee and tea into one drink to save time

>Tell Stax he can pay for his drink if he watches the breakfast while you make these drinks.
>Make the tea by boiling one of the flowers from your fur. Add powdered sugar for flavor.

combine the coffee and tea into one drink to save time

Seconded. Make some herbal, chocolatey tea-coffee.

combine the coffee and tea into one drink to save time

Seconded. Make some herbal, chocolatey tea-coffee.

Chaotic neutral route, perfect!!! Thirding this

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Spoiler [finger guns emojis] i gotchu

You formulate a plan. You shift your head to Stax, who seems to be contentedly finishing off his drink, despite his initial disdain for its composition.













She lets out a huff of air.

You don't waste any time. The coffee seems to have already been made earlier in the morning, perhaps before you got here-- but making a custom teabag with Mothgrant aromatics does take you almost the full turn.















You complete the drink. Beyond the teabags, the hardest part was sprinkling in a good amount of cocoa powder and powdered sugar-- and then stirring vigorously.








Your 'tender sense works on each drink separately, despite identical composition, as they're being served to different patrons.











You glance back. The mango hasn't grilled... anything like you were hoping, and now appears quite burnt, with molasses spilled all over the left half of the stove. The eggs do look fantastic, though. And the perfume soup looks... orange.

Though it's currently temporary, you have hired your first assistant, Egg Coordinator Stax.

Provided you can sort the mess with Laren's breakfast, you will gain a bartending level on the next turn.

Cup status: 4 occupied, 1 dirty (Stax's Fruit Battery)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's breakfast, WIP), 2 free

The Cabinet has been updated with your new coffee-and-tea-related finds, as well as ingredients depleted with both the creation of the drinks and your efforts at making Laren breakfast.

I am currently taking any and all species/patron/lore/art prompts for YWUIAB! If you'd like to drop a patron in, or have a fun idea for a species in this grand and vast universe, or anything like that, feel free to post it in the thread or PM me if you'd like to keep it a surprise! <3

What sort of Bartender takes constructive criticism, you ask? A Bartender who was not expecting to be a Bartender this time yesterday! My friend is somewhat eccentric, Decided this place needed a bar and someone to tend said bar and believes Heavily in the art of trial by fire! I am making everything up as I go along and am pleasantly surprised Nothing has gone horribly, horribly wrong just yet! And Yes, we do take local currency! We also take Esoteric Knickknacks, Favours, Things A Bar Needs For Continued Sustained Usage (Because Honestly Who Starts A Bar With Only 6 Glasses Available?) and Other Things That Would Make My Life Easier! (Currently Seeking a PDA(The Computational Device, Not the Affectionate Gestures(though honestly if things keep up at this pace, I will probably need a hug soon enough)))

As For The Mango, try to slice off the parts that aren't too burnt and then arrange them artistically around the Egg. Plating is Important!

Oh gosh this breakfast does not sound appetising at all

also seconding all the smart stuff lordly jus said, probs got a better handle than the whole lot of us lmao

"Hells yeah dudebro we accept local currency, uptop" and then slowly back up into the kitchen n atleast test the food to see if iy tastes decent

shave off the burnt bits, that's just caramelized molasses and should have just sunk the flavor into the mango itself. while you're spinning these plates try literally spinning a plate

patrons:

a telephone booth

medusa's wig

a goddess

a giant set of wind-up chattering teeth

johnny appleseed, but for cups and plates and utensils and such

a land-walking man-sized talking squid with soft fur

Tim Computers, the inventor of computers

a very small planet orbiting a very small star

an animal made entirely of tails

adult-size human infant

a smurf

an automaton of twisted-up plastic pipe with a beer bong mouth

just a human leg leading directly into a human arm, on a rollerskate

smoke

a dead president

and one of these is actually the truck driver who shows up with replenished supplies courtesy of the bar owner

>Save the burnt mango bits for a drink. You never know.

Patrons:

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Spoiler
A rat-king.
The anthropomorphic personification of the color puce.
A rat-queen.
A golem made from recycled aluminum cans.
"It's *Stan™*!"
A holy man from the rapid-riders of Elumu Canyon
A turtle with a symbiotic, hyperintelligent sand dollar on its head.
A rat, who also happens to be a king.
David Letterman.
Today's Number: 3
Intelligent street dogs, some with bookish intelligence, and some with strategic cunning.

Put a scoop of undying liver in the perfume soup to try and filter out any human unfriendly components.

Trying to mimic myeth's art style for this one:

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Spoiler