Respec(')

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Hey guys, this is an adventure I started just a week or so ago back on MSPAFA, before I even knew Eagle-Time existed. Guess I'll be running it in both places, now. Heck yeah!

Welcome! You are now the unnamed protagonist of this story, though if you really insist on referring to yourself, let's call you, um, KEB. Yes, you are Keb, though that is not really your name, and you are an adventurer in the adventure-filled world known as PLANET OF ADVENTURE. Well, generally it is just know as The Planet of Specification, but that is boring, because you are an adventurer, and anyone who specifies in any other specification is boring and lame.

Specification is simple enough: When you turn 18, you stop being Unspecified, and gain your first level. With that level, and every one you gain after it, you gain a specification point which you must allocate to a specific...specification. The process is a bit obtuse, but mostly, your point goes to whatever you want. The possibilities are basically endless. And most people put their points into boring trees, like the Accounting tree or whatever. But you knew from the beginning that you would be following the adventurer tree, and, sure enough, here you are at level 25, and all 25 of your points have gone into that tree. Here's what your build looks like:



Okay, so, it's not the most practical allocation, you've come to terms with that. But now, after many, many days spent grinding for Slime Pelts and Wolf Kidneys, you finally have enough money to buy a POTION OF RESPEC, which will allow you to finally reallocate those points into something a little more...useful. It's a big step though. Are you ready, man?

ARE YOU READY?

FUCK YEA

FUCK YEAH indeed. You hand an insanely huge pile of gold to the potion vendor, and chug the proffered concoction. You don't even even taste potions anymore. Since coughing up half of one means it either doesn't work or goes horribly wrong, your tastebuds have learned to just shut down out of a sense of self-preservation.

There's not a much immediate effect, you just suddenly feel more worried about Little Keb. You mean Little Unnamed Protagonist. Your build may have been useless for proper adventuring, but at least it gave you a certain peace of mind. But that's okay, you're about to make a brand new build that will earn you so much cash, you'll be able to afford the best codpiece money can buy.



Twenty-five whole points to play with, and you can start wherever you want. Just, as long as it's not accounting. If you spec accounting, your parents win. Anything but that.

Where to start?

PUT IT ALL IN CHEAT CODES

Yeah, you could just try to power build. It's certainly possible to utterly break the system and become wholly invincible. For example, the following build is quite popular:



Yes, quite popular, at least amongst a certain segment of the adventuring population. That would be the POWER GAMER, er, you mean ADVENTURER segment. And no one likes Power Adventurers. And for good reason. See, you could get all the loot and experience by power adventuring, but there's one thing you wouldn't get: Respect. Or, as you call it in the hip adventurer parlance, RESPEC'.

Respec' may not be a tangible as specification points or levels, but it is very real, and very important. Power Adventurers with no respec' never gain access to the highest, most sublime rewards this planet has to offer. And weird things happen to them. Sometimes they just disappear without a trace. Or a respawn.

No, you know your respec must keep respec' in mind.

There's one key attribute that makes a build respec'ful: Creativity. Don't just become a fierce and deadly adventurer, become one in a way that's never been done before, and no one would expect to work. That's why when you put that first point into "Protecting Your Gentleman's Area," you were SURE you were on to a good thing. The possibilities seemed endless, just as long as you avoided the "Teabagging Dudes To Death" route, which is totally cliche and overdone, and therefore disrespec'ful. But then you kept putting every new point you got into preserving your manhood, and things just got out of hand.

Well, no more! NOT THIS TIME!

8 to command squirrels
6 to summon squirrels
3 to conjure nuts

Suddenly, a stroke of genius hits you. Weaponized squirrels. Heck yes. Squirrels are an untapped source of carnage. You used to live by a walnut tree, and all day long, you heard them working away with their teeth, uncovering that nutty, nutty goodness. You mean, you've tried to crack walnuts yourself. You can barely do it! And that's with tools! Can you imagine what squirrels could do with the proper training? You will leave a trail of disemboweled monsters wherever you go, strewn about like the shattered husks of so many savaged nuts...

Oh god. That mental image does not mix well with your post-respec insecurity about your you-know-what's sudden vulnerability. You find yourself really, REALLY wishing you had some way of keeping them safe...



God. Dammit.

Okay, so you know how you said you can spec into anything you want? Well, that's true, it's just that THE SYSTEM has its own way of interpreting what you want. It's...kind of unpredictable. Some people say it works on the deepest subconscious levels of the adventurer's mind. Others say that it just likes to troll, like some irony-minded wish-granting Djinn from the desert zone. You think it's probably a little of both.

Okay, okay, fine. It's just one point. You can still salvage this. You can do it, unnamed pro...tagonist.

Also, it would probably be helpful to protect your man region in other and more creative ways. Put some points into clothing enhancement abilities, so at any moment you can make spikes come out of your pants or wear metal underwear or whathaveyou.

All while protecting your man's region!

Alright. Don't fight it. Don't resist your protective urges, just focus them. Concentrate on how you're going to use them. Concentrate on all the ways cool gear could make protecting your man region easier, and more flexible. You can do this.



Oh. Oh your gods. Is...is that color? Color on one of your allotment cards? Most adventurers don't get any colors until at least level 75! Oh, jeez, you think you're going to faint. The System is practically showering you with respec' here. This is why you don't Power Adventure. Power Adventurers never get any colors.

Okay, okay, you don't have any more ??? cards, so that means that before you can get any new abilities, you have to allot more points into the ones you already have. Not that that will be an issue. Even Epic Man-Crafting is going to result in pretty shitty gear with only one point allocated. And you'll probably be really bad at using whatever gear you get well unless you put more points into Protecting.

So, what'll it be?

Twenty points in Epic Man-Crafting, three in Protecting.

Okay, you start willing your points into Epic Man-Crafting, but then you're interrupted.



New blank card. This is always the hardest part. Do you focus on your existing skills, or get more and more? The thrill of new abilities, vs. knowing you're fully applying the ones you have. You have a lot of anxiety about such decisions. Probably has something to do with why you never used any of the blank cards in your original spec.

So, shall you continue with the original plan, or try to come up with yet another new ability?

Alright, thrusting is a tad obvious here... I am assuming that we can save the card for when we have more points, but doing 19 Man-Crafting, 3 Protecting, and one in the NEW BONUS SKILL should be passable to me!
So...
HOW ABOUT ALTERING YOUR MAN-CRAFT TO SHOO-
No wait, let's not do that.
Uhm.. this is delicate talk here...

SCREW IT
JUST GO WITH THE ORIGINAL PLAN

Oh sure right now you can craft a pretty mean man-piece. But it's not like you'll be able to unlock their full potential.

> Dump 6 points into Codpiece Control
> put the remaining 3 into protecting your gentlemans area.

I'm always one for sustainable adventuring, so would love to see you branch out into Found Object Crotch Defence. What will you do if you're mugged, your epic man-craft is stolen, and you have naught to defend your Gentleman's Region in a dark alleyway?

>Put six points into Overcompensation, that should let you wield a longsword at the very least. The other three can go into Protection.

Toss everything into the new bonus card! It's got to be something fantastic :P

>Put six points into Overcompensation, that should let you wield a longsword at the very least. The other three can go into Protection.

Hell yes. With the power of Ferrari tank-tops, jean-shorts, and fake tans, you will soon be an unstoppable force of sublimated inadequacy. You will walk the razor's edge: So long as you moderate your ambitions, you will be capable of things no player of your level has any right to do. But if you over-extend, you will be exposed to all the world, and your shame will be boundless.

Hell once again yes. This has gone far better than you ever expected. Well, except for the fact that you have no money, and no supplies to man-craft with. Also, you suddenly realize that 4 points in Protecting Your Gentleman's Area is not nearly enough. What the hell were you thinking, oh god oh god oh god oh god. You can feel the world pressing in on you, with nothing but ill-intent toward your rigging and tackle.

This is bad. Why did you do this? WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW?

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
PROTECT YOUR GENTLEMAN'S AREA
IN BATTLE

Hey. Hey buddy. Just chill out. It's okay. Your man-bits are safe here. This is a safe bits zone. Why don't you go take a walk along the beach? Yep. The nice beach. Maybe you can find some driftwood to help you with your crafting, and I bet some of that overcompensating can get you some respec there. Also it's nice and sandy and safe. The only thing you need to worry about for your dangle-buddies is an errant seagull, but 4 points is more than enough to protect you from some crazy bird. You'll be fine.

Edit: oh also look, more colors.

Uhhhh...are you sure that's not some form of psychosis you're experiencing?

It's okay, man - just Epic Man-Craft a really tricked-out suit of armor for yourself. Add spikes and stuff if you want the added Overcompensating bonus. Rather than armor your whole body, you can just make two suits of armor for your legs and wear them both, if that'd make you more comfortable.

Uhhhh...are you sure that's not some form of psychosis you're experiencing?

> Overcompensate for such a low score in protect- by going out and beating stuff up.

Okay, fine. MAYBE you're overreacting a bit. Maybe it's time to stop thinking with the safety of your friction hose. You are an ADVENTURER, and Adventurers ADVENTURE. Adventurers Adventure to get Respec(') after they Respec. Yes. And you don't need 25 points in anxiety alleviation to do that. You have the power of shiny colorful ability cards. And a dream. A dream to be THE BEST.

You charge out of the safe zone to the nearest danger zone you can think of. It's a swamp, known as THE SWAMP. It is somewhat confusing, but as long as you don't stray too far, you should be okay. Well, that's all well and good, but your head isn't all there right now, and before you know it, you have strayed too far. You only realize this when you see a menacing level 24 CROCACUTUS bearing down on you. Bearing down on you with its teeth bared. With its teeth bared like a rabid bear. Like a rabid bear that's aiming straight at your twig and berries.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

SpoilerShow

Spoilers: this was a text adventure all along, the images were just a trap to bait you in! No, not really, but I'm not necessarily going to use gifs in every update, obviously.

Use Mancrafting as an offensive ability - turn that Crocacutus into a godly codpiece before it even knows what's happening.

Use Mancrafting as an offensive ability - turn that Crocacutus into a godly codpiece before it even knows what's happening.

GODPIECE

CROCPIECE

>Protect your gentleman's region by getting it as far away from here as possible. And take the rest of you with it.

PELVIC THRUST

Use Mancrafting as an offensive ability - turn that Crocacutus into a godly codpiece before it even knows what's happening.

GODPIECE

CROCPIECE

YES! That is the best idea ever. Even non-epic crafted goods are much better when you have an awesome name for them, so an EPIC CRODPIECE is sure to be cash-money.

Stick with the plan and overcompensate for your lack of defense with some crazy offense. That crocacutus won't know what hit him.

Alright, gotta pound this mofo before you can craft him. Time to load up the combat menu.

...

Okay, hold on. Sometimes it takes a really long time for the menus to load.

...


...









...

THERE it goes!



...After such a long loading time, you'd think it would be a BIT more impressive, visually. But, WHATEVER. IT IS TIME FOR FIGHTING. IT IS SATURDAY NIGHT, AND YOUR SISTER'S HAIR IS EXTREMELY GREASY.

WHICH ABILITY WILL YOU INVOKE???

SpoilerShow

Heck yeah, learning to animate!

OVERCOMPENSATING

>Lets start safe and protect our gentelman's region. I don't want the CROCACTUS to get mad at us for our obnoxious overcompensating ways.

Just don't think about the dozens of needle-like fangs and spikes encroaching on your netherregions!

Let's see if we can't rip one of its limbs or something off in a gory show of EPIC MANCRAFTING.

> You've got the highest level in EPIC MAN-CRAFTING, so start there.

Craft...a man? An epic man?

Your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions.

There never really was much question, was there?



Despite your fears, you deftly catch the Crocacutus' jaws with your hands and force them to stay open, inches from your private happy zone. The brutal fangs dig into your hands, but that doesn't worry you, since it's nothing a good meal won't heal. What worries you more is how long you can hold out against the beasts jaw muscles, which have been scientifically measured as being capable of exerting 17 Metric Fuck-Tons (16.7 Imperial) of force. That's a lot for just four points to handle.

But wait, what's this? Another combat menu is loading?

...

...

???

There it is.



Oh, that's right! See, you've only had one ability for so long, you'd forgotten that you can supplement your invoked ability with a second one! This is JUST what you need to show this damn reptilian what is what.

WHICH ABILITY WILL YOU INVOKE TO SUPPLEMENT THE ABILITY THAT YOU JUST INVOKED?