Let's go vampire hunting

> Thank the rabbat really slowly and loudly, because it doesn't speak english

You try to thank the weird rabbat thing in a loud, clear voice. You're not sure why the little rat-imp thing replied. Demonic Runes are hard!

Can you say "I would like to talk to a translator. I do not speak Lower Circles-ese"?

You try asking for a translator or someone of a higher hierarchy, you hope they don't find it racist.



Augh if only they didn't talk so fast, you don't get a word of what they're saying.



Uh... why is he assuming you understand what he's saying? You nod your head every two or three seconds just to be polite.



He just keeps on talking, when is he gonna stop why is he pointing that way. Oh you think you heard the word vampire in-between his speech is that where the vampires are? That doesn't look like a vampire castle at all.



Okay you guess you'll go in, better prepare first. Known abilities thus far:

- Crafty disguising
- Awesome macho swag
- Kung-fu

What do

SpoilerShow

The toe bone's connected to the foot bone,
The foot bone's connected to the ankle bone,
The ankle bone's connected to the leg bone,
Now shake dem skeleton bones!

The leg bone's connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone's connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone's connected to the hip bone,
Now shake dem skeleton bones!

The hip bone's connected to the back bone
The back bone's connected to the neck bone,
The neck bone's connected to the head bone,
Now shake dem skeleton bones!

The finger bone's connected to the hand bone,
The hand bone's connected to the arm bone,
The arm bone's connected to the shoulder bone,
Now shake dem skeleton bones!

Known abilities thus far:

- Crafty disguising
- Awesome macho swag
- Kung-fu

What do

But... of course! It's so simple!

> Disguise yourself as Bruce Lee.

> Disguise yourself as Bruce Lee.

hey no need to pull out the big guns yet!

Oh wait, maybe there is.

> pull out those big guns

Craft some bone stakes, maybe?

You're probably going to need some fake blood. Maybe they sell demonic burgers around here?

>KUNG-FU THAT BLOOD BANK

Spend a few years integrating into your new home.

Known abilities thus far:

- Crafty disguising
- Awesome macho swag
- Kung-fu

What do

But... of course! It's so simple!

> Disguise yourself as Bruce Lee.

vampire bruce lee

Let's disguise ourself as two Bruce Lees.

> Disguise yourself as Bruce Lee.

vampire bruce lee

You grab your black sharpie and your can of hair spray. 'S time to pull out the big guns.



You style your hair to make it look a little puffy, then carefully scribble some suave bushy brows and some goth looking eye bags. Removing your shirt and wearing it as a vampire cape for extra suave effect. Now you're ready!



Okay.

> take a seat. Demand service.

Order the burger of +5 vampire slaying.

Or a regular burger if you can't afford that.

Stride up to the food line, and ask for the HOTTEST BURGER IN HELL.

Be stared at!

> Kick a chair over.

Be harassed by some TOUGH CUSTOMERS. Proceed to OUT-TOUGH THEM via THROWS and KICKS.

> Scream and flip over someone's table just to prove how tough you are.

Be stared at!

You are being stared at REAL HARD by these though looking monster... guests? This vampire castle is really weird.



"Hello there! And welcome to the Bloody Burger™, house of the bloodiest burger of them all! How may i help you?!"



...

> Scream and flip over someone's table just to prove how tough you are.

YEEARRRGH GOTTA PROVE ALL THESE TOTALLY NOT INTIMIDATING MONSTERS YOU'RE THE TOUGHEST GUY AROUND.



D-did she just speak English?

But are the burgers bloody enough for you to die?

Take a seat!

Order the spiciest burger they have.

> "Okay, I need directions. You guys have a bathroom?"

> don't drink the water

Be suave, man! Be suave!

>"Whoa, sorry there miss. I just can't control myself around a pretty woman like you."

Eyebrow wiggle for emphasis. THAT IS AN IMPORTANT STEP.

"I'm really enthusiastic about burgers."