"Seriously brain, what the hell?" A Thread For Weird Dreams and Nightmares

I had a neat one just before I woke up this morning. It started out with the conceit that I was reading a webcomic for the first time; the story was about a gang of kids and teens who live in an abnormally huge truck, the general dress style was "90's kid pirate-punk" and really it was more like a giant housebus interior elevated up on a hugeass truck.

Anyway, perspective shifted and I was a Typical White Bread Male Protagonist who'd just clambered aboard this thing, and for some reason the captain (badass seventeen-year old lady with dreads and a mercenary attitude) had to offload everyone. For some reason. And drive off even though these kids, her family, were chasing after her and giving up. I was in the passenger seat and had weird cognitive internal-dream-logic dissonance because I recalled that I was reading a webcomic and I always cry at sad shit in fiction, but I was also in said story? Either way, I was crying because this was a hard and painful decision for everyone.

Cast summarily trimmed, we drove aimlessly around streets that were definitely inspired by north-west Christchurch suburban streets until we pulled into a convenience store car park, where a few of the captain's lieutenants managed to catch up and pile in. This truck is huge, by the way. I climbed into the cab and it must've been two and a half metres up.

We then drove south through what was definitely Christchurch; on reflection it was the same road through Ilam the Orbiter bus takes when going anticlockwise from Burnside High to Canterbury University (Plaid'll know what I'm on about). We dodged around a lot of traffic that the hugeass truck definitely could've ploughed through (except for one Giga-Hummer who was driving on the wrong side of the road). As we approached the university, we drove on the wrong side of the road because there were giant tubes of paint emerging from the middle of the road, we swerved to avoid a massive glob of paint falling on us, and ended up on the wrong side. We ended up running over identical pedestrians but I think they were a gang?

Then we were driving through the actual university (which is bisected in real life by a main road) and the main administrative building was at the end of this road at a t-intersection. Captain Badass Driver Girl was yelling happily about the fact that "we're off the rails, so we're going to have to drive straight through it", which makes no sense, we're a truck not a train. The centrepiece of said administrative building (which does not exist in real life) was a revolving glass doorway big enough for our truck to pass through, so we did. Lots of breaking glass and then wondering "how long would it take for the cops to react to this and start chasing us", right before I woke up.

Welp so much for me sleeping tonight

SpoilerShow

I'm on a rooftop carpark with Kayla, the other ALT who used to live in this town/my old neighbour, she moved back home in August so that should've been my immediate indication that something was up, but nope. We were doing some kind of craft activity at a picnic table; I glanced over at the shoppping complex proper the carpark was for and seeing some mascots/pictures but nothing I recognise now that I'm awake. We were going to Miyazaki later that day (despite it already being pitch black night?) and I said I'd catch a bus, which was the usual state of affairs. A car pulls up out of nowhere, dead silent with its lights off (which struck me as weird/shady considering it was night), which annoys Kayla because she only wanted to order supplements today off the guy? Not actually collect/pay for them?

I was sitting in the back seat of a bus, checking my phone or something. It's dark and my inability to see details around me is exacerbated by the fact I'm checking my phone. I read something funny and laugh aloud, which makes the person a couple seats in front of me turn around. I apologise to Kayla for startling her, before noticing the person has dark hair, maybe they look like me, and I'm wondering why Kayla would be on the bus with me. She's got a car. It's pitch-black, and even though I don't know the exact time I know it's too late for the buses to be running. I'm suddenly aware I'm in the back of a minivan, not a bus. The last thing I'm aware of before the scene crashes to an illogical stop as I strongly visualise my sleeping form to force myself awake is another dark, blobby, indistinct passenger in the window seat one row in front of mine

I wake up in my room, exactly as I left it when I dozed off two hours ago, figuring out the bus/van ride was a dream. I hear a buzz like a phone receiving a text, although the buzz sounds like it's on a hard surface. I roll out of bed, like, roll off my bed and onto the floor, it's like I've got sleep paralysis or something. I'm aware in the dream that I don't get sleep paralysis, and also that the drawers in the frame of my bed proper (under the mattress) are open. I figure burglars must have broken in, which didn't bother me as much as it should. I'm dimly aware my laptop is not where it should be, which corroborates that. I find my phone on the floor next to me; the screen or backlight or something is faulty because the light is abnormally dull.

I've got two texts and a couple of pictures sent from an unknown number, I think they were written in Japanese. The screen was too dim to make sure. There are three drawers on my bedframe; one the length of the bed on top and two half-ones on the bottom. (I once had a bed like this but don't right now) I push the half-ones closed first without getting up from the floor, aware there's a noise like a person in the room. Another buzz.

I sit up to close the large, long drawer, and there's someone's head sticking out of there. There's a note by their head, sitting on my bed. I distinctly remember what it said in the dream (something like "Enjoy" but with three words, I remember thinking that the English was not grammatically correct), written in my handwriting. I figured the burglars had rooted through my trash or something to find a note that'd fit the situation. The head was really pale had blood on it, not a lot. I closed the drawer on it, hearing another buzz from inside there.

I crawled back onto my bed with my phone, figuring I should call the cops and wondering if I should hold that drawer shut by getting out of bed and sitting up against it. I instead try and force myself to logic bomb my way out of this again, figuring there's too many inconsistencies for me to actually be awake, and

I wake up properly this time, or rather, I woke up forty minutes ago. I spent about five minutes determining whether there were actually burglars/intruders in my apartment, another five deciding that I wasn't actually so scared I needed to get out of bed, turn the lights on, or go lock my door, and spend the rest of the time up until now trying to write this out so I don't forget it.

The damnedest thing about this nightmare is that I wasn't actually scared by it, and am not actually scared right now despite the fact it was very unsettling. In short brains are weird

Hoo boy this one was a hell of a romp, it's deathy and violent in places fair warning

Bump into my friend as he's heading up into his apartment; ask if I can grab dinner with them if I nip down the street and grab something. He's like sure, and I go a couple places down to a souvlaki place where the owner grizzles that everyone comes in at the last minute before the store closes. I check the shop's opening hours on the glass door, see it's 8.30, and apologise and head on up the street.

It's dark, and a car (driving on the wrong side of the road for New Zealand, I just realised) with a couple hollering guys pulls up and slows down as it passes me. I understandably freak out and look for the nearest place with people, which is a KFC. I walk briskly in that direction as someone drunkenly extricates themselves from the back of the stationary car, and four dudes sitting outside KFC at a picnic table ask me what's going on. I pointed the drunk fuckass out; they ask if they should hurt him and I say they shouldn't but yeah totally go for it. Between his drunken grasping in my direction and a bit of tag-teaming, he trips and cracks his head on the concrete. He gets up again, this time I'm feeling bolder and grab his wrist and twist, hearing a bunch of snapping. A couple more hits and he's down.

The KFC customers are checking I'm alright when someone points out the rather large pool of blood coming from the face-down drunkard's head region. I'm thinking "oh fuck would we get assault charges if it was self-defense" but call the police anyway. I'm panicking and was pretty sure I was on Riccarton Road but the dispatch dude says that's probably wrong and I see a street sign. While I'm talking, I see a car (in the opposite direction, but the same side of the street as the car of hecklers) runs into the body and drags it up the street, leaving a trail of blood. I have one of those mental "fuck is this a dream" checks which I fail miserably; I'm still pretty convinced this is all happening, as I relay updated events down the phone. As I'm on said phone, a whole goddamn tram/streetcar rounds the corner, slips on the blood, and derails with a crash into the KFC carpark where we were all standing.

Around this point, paramedics show up and a cop steps out of a car and starts asking people in the crowd for me. I go with him out of the way a bit, answer questions, start heading toward this house with a rundown yard where I'm suddenly very aware that we've been followed by this weird nuclear family of mom and dad and pigtailed daughter all made out of this wet, red-orange clay. They tell me to get in a car, because out by the front gate of the property is the asshole who got run over, no worse for wear and wielding a weird tube-gun thing that fires a missile like a pointy bowling pin at the house.

Spy-family goes "fuckshit" and out of nowhere has a car which we're told to pile into, mostly because Terminator back there has tossed some kind of giant, white, button-battery shaped amplifier near the house. The cop (who I think got visually templated by my brain with the security guard guy from Housebound, huh) is struggling to get into the front seat of the vehicle so these cold-hearted putty bastards just drive off without him. I have some vague ethical qualms about this which are only further compounded when the clay girl's explanation makes it sound like we're escaping a nuclear bomb radius. We have one close shave where Drunk Car Asshole pops up in the path of our escape vehicle and fires one of his missiles at it, but it follows the curvature of the car and doesn't actually impact.

Then some intermediary shit happens and I can't fucking remember it; last point on this fucked up ride I recall before waking up was being back home again, talking to my sister, who mentions a "Jason Common-Last-Name" has been pestering them all on Skype for ages.

Brain what the actual fuck

I've been having the same nightmare for two days now which took an even more frustrating turn today? Probably due to depression making a roaring resurgence but hey

It starts out with it being my birthday and for some reason i'm at a house on the hill which belongs to the family of a friend i had in high school. All of my other high school friends are there, which now that i think about it isn't really a good sign because those friendships have all since broken down :v

Anyway, we start noticing smoke and things coming from up a bit higher on the hill? and then flame, which rapidly spread. So i say uh, we should probably evacuate, and in the process of getting friend's mum and brother awake and people out of the house the fire gets to the properties behind their one and there is a steady stream of people heading down the hill. My other friends are trying to grab random stuff from the house to take everything with them and i tell them to stop being dumb because we have to go, and we all pile into a couple of cards and head down the hill, which winds around everywhere and includes random parts of new zealand roads that i vaguely remember? and a bunch of it is raised and part of the hill despite being on the flat irl?

While we're doing this there is a man behind us totally on fire who collapses onto the road, and a few cars on fire going past too. We stop a bit down the hill for a break; the fire catches up to us during and we have to leave again.

Anyway at some point we get to my new house, which has apparently been built by my parents while i was away and they've just moved in. Its huge and fancy and a bunch more people come to the party at this point. We hang around for a wee bit, but at this point its something like 4am so we all decide to go to bed, split between 2 rooms. Everyone crams into one room (my bedroom, which is huge so its not that much of an issue) and keeps talking, even after i tell them to be quiet. Each time i tell everyone that i just want to sleep someone starts talking again after about 30 seconds, and at one point i can't figure out how to turn the tv off with all the remotes (since it mysteriously turned on).

I throw a fit and tell everyone fine, i'll sleep in the other room. A few people follow me and i tell them to go away, i want to sleep on my own but they come with anyway. We all get into various beds and they start talking again, so i start yelling and that wake mum, who also yells at them. At this point its gotten light, i'm super tired and super angry, and apparently there are some builders coming to do renevations on the seemingly finished room that i'm trying to sleep in. They drive through the front wall of the house, and their van in on fire, which i point out but they say that oh no its fine, it just does that sometimes.

I woke up around then. Possibly one of the worst sleeps i've ever had?

In my dream...
we had to sing to keep the monster at bay.

But I forgot
how
the
song

went.

I have a recurring dream (that I also had when I was a very small child) that happens sometimes when I wake up and then fall back asleep.

So I am standing in the backyard of my old house, as a small child (6ish). It is night, probably 9 or 10 pm, and I start running towards a swing set. But when I get there my ex-neighbour is already in the swing. We talk for about half a minute, but the conversation always ends along the lines of "I was here first, go do something else". Then I walk away, disappointed, into my house.

A large tree (like a three/four story tree) falls onto the house while I am inside, and I am crushed to death. Sometimes the building collapses on its own,and sometimes an owl hoots and the building falls in on itself, but everytime I am killed instantly by this.

The least favourite part of this dream is after I am rejected from the swing-set, the dream stitches from 1st person to 3rd person, and at that point I KNOW what is about to happen. And then I wake up and it can be very stressful.

I ever so rarely remember my dreams but not only that's not the case for the last one I had it was also kind of long and odd enough to share.

In the dream I'm a traveler visiting a swampy area looking for a smith. Within moments of wandering I find what looks like a run down shack and upon approaching the place I find a woman who introduces herself as a smith with the shack as her workshop. She invites me inside and upon entering the shack it turns into a greater place than what it looks from the outside, aswell as not as run down with a stone floor and a big fire pit. I then request the woman to craft a piece of metalwork of her choice to which she quickly accepts delivering a crude spoon from the pit. I examine it still hot pulling it close to my face and hitting it a few times in the floor and my knuckles, soon deeming it a fine piece of work. I look at the woman and begin to explain that i'm part of a society of secret metalworkers that pass down their craftworks and techniques to those we consider to have enough skill. The specifics being that all work must have a copy that will be passed out to one of the wanderers like myself within a couple of months, in exchange we will share new plans and techniques for the knowledge of the techniques they know or have improved upon from past visits, the woman in joy tells me to let her join to which I accept but as soon as I hand down the roll with the stuff I have to share it turns into a bunch of balloons.

And then I wake up.

I still feel confused about it.

I dreamed that I was back at home in Hong Kong, waiting for a bunch of people I knew from middle school. I was finally getting included! We all got in a big taxi and played video games, except I missed out for some reason. At some point, a bunch of schoolgirls ended up in the backseat, and we got out at one of their houses. Then I asked why I'd been left out, and they said I didn't ask to join. But that's okay. We all forgave each other.

They were never this nice in real life.

I was driving in the middle of nowhere at midnight, and I saw a Dairy Queen sign. I go in, and I see mario flipping burgers. I ask for a big mac, and he says he only has dino burgers for sale. I ask for it, and he says "You just activated my trap card", after which I promptly fell through a trap hole. While falling endlessly, I was saved by Spongebob on his charizard.

Don't ask me how I got to that, I'm wondering that myself...

Steven universe spoilers:

SpoilerShow

I had a steven universe dream:

Steven Universe season 2 episode 26
episode description: steven and the crystal gems find a video game while out on a mission

The actual episode:
steven and the crystal gems are doing some mission fighting a gem monster out in the desert. There's not much nearby, just like, a gas station. Steven needs the bathroom and goes to the gas station and finds a video game there and buys it!

When steven gets back the crystal gems have already defeated the monster and they go home and steven asks them to play the video game with them.

The moment the game starts, the art style visibly changes to a more crayon-like animation. They are also playing the game up in the sky on top of a cloud but they don't seem to notice their surroundings have changed. Garnet turns out to be really good at the game, where she plays as herself going around punching stuff.

They go back to the main menu and try out Hard Mode. The Garnet in the game asks the crystal gems to fuse with her. Real Garnet is like, "Wait.. something is wrong!" and she punches the screen and smashes it.

She notices they are on a cloud and says "oh no..." and she jumps off and lands on the crayon ground far below to go find a way out of this mess.

However the video game is still going despite the smashed screen and asks real pearl and amethyst to fuse with her. Pearl and amethyst try to resist but the power of the cursed video game forces them to anyway! then this horrifying fusion transformation happens





the fusion complete, the giant cube emerges from the real world, spitting out real garnet, real pearl, real steven and real amethyst into beach city. but the giant cube is still real! and very menacing. but otherwise not very dangerous apparently.

The citizens of beach city spend the next six months smashing it to pieces (since it's just a big floating brick) at which steven gets inside and finds a button which destroys it. the end :P

05:27 Timu12 holY SHIT
05:27 Timu12 i just had THE most coherent dream of my life.
05:28 Timu12 it had plenty of silly moments. a ridiculous blending of characters, concepts and other things that had no business being part of the same story but it was still almost completely logically coherent with the exception of some characters morphing into other characters.
05:28 Timu12 and the portal mechanics were a little off but otherwise holy shit. it made sense
05:31 Timu12 Our story is a tragic tale of love. love between Link/Raiden and some girl
05:31 Timu12 that spans across time and space
05:33 Loather whoa
05:33 Timu12 want to hear it ;) ?

SpoilerShow

Our story begins in a village by the coast, long ago...


Linkraiden is just your average boy. He has friends, works at the local bath, and does other village boy things. But he had always felt the calling of adventure. The village was boring. Not much happened. So one day Linkraiden took up the sword and left town seeking action.

Throughout his adventures, Linkraiden saved many kingdoms. He even picked up a sidekick, Robin from DC comics. Together they made an excellent team, taking down monsters and other baddies that threatened the land. They one day encountered an evil devil mage who was terrorizing the land.

After an intense 3 phase boss battle, involving use of many of raiden's cool sword moves in mgr:r and transforming into wolf link and dodging magic lasers and robin helping out too i guess, the devil mage was defeated. Or was she?

She began to explain her past, "I was just a normal village girl once. I had no friends, worked at the local bath, and had a huge crush on my male coworker. When he suddenly left town one day, I was left to work in the bath all by herself and it was very hard work.

"One day, the bathhouse was destroyed by a meteor. Though there was fire and a bit of a wreck, most of the danger was now past. As I approached the meteor, she saw that riding it, was a mouse.

"Mickey Mouse.

"Mickey Mouse apologized for the damage done by his meteor. He offered me one of four strange berries to compensate for the damage, explaining that he needed to keep the others as he had not brought much else with him to this planet. I ate the berry and found myself corrupted by evil thoughts and transformed into this devil mage. And now... I'm ready for phase 4 of this boss fight!"

The devilmage had been talking to distract our heroes while she had been growing big metal knife-wings... but then Linkraiden said, "Wait... you were my coworker at the bathhouse? I didn't recognize you! You transformed so much!"

The devilmage looked more closely at Linkraiden, "Oh... after all this time... it's you! You look a lot different also!"

And so the three of them (don't forget about Robin) now journeyed together. They found a desert full of sand cubes! They found a second Robin! They found two mysterious keys that didn't match any door. They found an apartment and settled down in the city.

And they lived happily into their mid-40s until someone knocked on their door.

Mickey Mouse.

In his silly disney voice, "Do you have those two mysterious keys?"

"Why yes we do," said Linkraiden, "Are you Mickey Mouse? I think my wife is a little mad at you."

The Devilmage said, "Yeah, I am, but whatever. Yeah we have the keys what do you want with them?"

Mickey replied simply, "Come with me and I shall show you."

They went to a parking garage on the edge of the town. Mickey touched a key to a simply chain link fence, and suddenly the wires broke and bent outwards, forming a gap in space itself through which a white light shown. Travelling through, the five travellers found a wonderous new world. It had a gleaming forest, with a castle of glass, and a beach, with large crabs on it. The portal closed automatically behind them, leaving just an out-of-place chainlink fence on the edge of the forest.

"Wow! What an amazing place! What do you say guys, shall we go on one more adventure?" asked Robin #2.

"Yeah! Let's do it" said Robin #1.

"Wait, I only brought one of the keys, the other one is still at home. If we lose the one we have with us, we won't be able to get back!" said the Devilmage!

"Oh, well in that case, I'll go back and get it. I'll be right back!" said Linkraiden as he went back through the portal in the chainlink fence.

But when Linkraiden returned, the wonderous world was nothing more than a desolate wasteland of fire and ash. There was no sign of the glass castle, the large crabs, or any of his friends!

Linkraiden fell to his knees, screaming, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......."

----

Linkraiden walked through the portal with his friends, saying the word "no" quietly. He was with the two Robins, Devilmage and Mickey Mouse, having just entered into a wonderous world, with a gleaming forest, with a castle of glass, and a beach, with large crabs on it. The portal closed automatically behind them, leaving just an out-of-place chainlink fence on the edge of the forest.

"Wow! What an amazing place! What do you say guys, shall we go on one more adventure?" asked Robin #2.

Linkraiden scratched his head.

"Yeah! Let's do it" said Robin #1.

Linkraiden said, "this place looks awfully familiar."

"Wait, I only brought one of the keys, the other one is still at home. If we lose the one we have with us, we won't be able to get back!" said the Devilmage!

Linkraiden shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "Oh, I better go get it. I'll be right back!"

Linkraiden went back through the portal in the chainlink fence. But when Linkraiden returned, the wonderous world was nothing more than a desolate wasteland of fire and ash. There was no sign of the glass castle, the large crabs, or any of his friends!

Linkraiden fell to his knees, screaming, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......."

----

Linkraiden walked through the portal with his friends, saying the word "no" quietly. He was with the two Robins, Devilmage and Mickey Mouse, having just entered into a wonderous world, with a gleaming forest, with a castle of glass, and a beach, with large crabs on it. The portal closed automatically behind them, leaving just an out-of-place chainlink fence on the edge of the forest.

Linkraiden said, "Man, I'm having a lot of deja vu right now."

Robin #2 said "Wow! What an amazing place! Have you been to a place like this before, Linkraiden?"

Linkraiden said, "Yeah, maybe! But let's go on one more adventure!"

"Wait, I only brought one of the keys, the other one is still at home. If we lose the one we have with us, we won't be able to get back!" said the Devilmage!

Linkraiden said, "Oh, I'll go get it then. Be right back!"

Linkraiden went back through the portal, fetched the second key and returned to a world of ash and fire.

Linkraiden fell to his knees, screaming, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......."

-----

Linkraiden walked through the portal with his friends, saying "no" quietly.

"Yeah this had definitely happened before. I remember it pretty well this time," said Linkraiden.

"What are you talking about?" asked Robin #2.

Linkraiden, "Yeah, like, in alternate timelines, or something, we've done this, but then I go back to get the spare key, and when I return, this world has been destroyed somehow. What's going on?"

Mickey Mouse replied simply, "Oh, that would be because time on this planet goes a lot faster than on Earth. Five minutes on Earth is 300 years on this side of the portal."

Linkraiden gasped, "Oh jeez, why didn't you tell us that before? And also that means this planet is going to be destroyed in 300 years!"

Robin #1 said, "Well, I guess that's still plenty of time for us to go on adventures here. And then when we come back it will be like no time has passed back home!"

The Devilmage said, "But if we lose our key we'll have no way back! Is there someway we can get that spare key?"

Linkraiden thought for a moment. "Well, if time goes really fast here compared to earth, then shouldn't we have felt something while going through the portal? Maybe time synchronizes between these two planets, but only while the portal is open. We should leave something inside the portal to keep it open while I get the spare key!"

Linkraiden tied a string around the chainlink fence such that the string went through the portal. After carefully testing that it worked, Linkraiden confirmed that the string was enough to keep the portal open, and that the passage of time would remain synchronized between the planets. "Excellent! I'll go get that key. Make sure this portal stays open for me!"

And when Linkraiden returned, his friends were still there! He emerged into the same wonderous world with its gleaming forest, glass castle, and large crab beach! And then Mickey Mouse hurled a shuriken, severing the string. The portal closed automatically, leaving behind an out-of-place chain link fence on the edge of the forest.

"Why did you do that?" asked Robin #1.

But suddenly, quick as a flash, Mickey Mouse snatched up the two keys, and crushed them into useless bits with his bare hands. "We must stay on this planet now. The portal must not open again!"

Linkraiden was angered and ready to fight, but realized that since they were all stuck together now, any conflict would probably just make things worse. They'll just have to live in peace together now. "Well. I guess there's no use fighting you, Mickey, since we're all stuck here. I guess we just need to set up a home here."

While Linkraiden and his friends looked at the castle of glass. "That... does not look safe at all." said Robin #2.

"Yeah if it shatterss we'll be in a world of hurt." said the Devilmage.

"Let's just build a hut. Mickey Mouse, are you going to help?" said Linkraiden.

But Mickey Mouse walked over the beach and on top of the surface of the water. He began to dance. A dance of twirls, moonwalking, backflips and all sorts of other amazing moves. The large crabs joined in, matching each and every move perfectly in an amazing synchronized display.

The two Robins looked at each other and said, "Yeah, let's dance instead!" And they turned on their hoverboots and joined Mickey Mouse in dancing on the surface of the water.

The Devilmage and Linkraiden looked at each other. Linkraiden said, "I think I'll go join them."

The Devilmage groaned and said, "Well, I'll be here working."

Linkraiden struggled to dance as well as the two Robins, the crabs and Mickey Mouse. After flailing around in the water a bit, he gave up and went back up to the Devilmage, who had singlehandedly constructed the hut.

"Good job!" said Linkraiden.

Suddenly, the sun in the sky fucking exploded

"holy shit" said the Devilmage

Mickey Mouse exclaimed, "It's happening! The time has come!"

"oh my god, did you know about this?" said Linkraiden, staring at the oncoming wave of flame descending from the sky

Mickey Mouse explained, "Yeah, I knew this was going to happen. I came to Earth to make absolutely sure that the portal would be closed at this time, so that the explosion would not go through the portal and destroy Earth in addition to this planet."

"why didn't you just tell us????" screamed Linkraiden.

Mickey Mouse replied simply, "I don't care at all about you guys."

"Sigh.. at least it will be a quick death." said the Devilmage.

And they all fucking died. Except for Mickey Mouse.

Many years later, Mickey Mouse was living comfortably in a luxury house that he built all by himself in the middle of this terrible wasteland of ash and fire. He had a slapstick comedy routine with his fun robot-vacuum friend, which children on earth loved.

Fuck you mickey mouse you're useless

/me wild applause

So I forgot a lot of the dream, but here's the details I do remember:

• I had four parents, my two dream birth parents (the devil and a mortal), as well as two more moms, one of which was actually sort of an evil spy demon? And the other wasn't really introduced. Wait no she was a bartender who gets killed for being married to my father.
  
• I signed a form to go to a boarding school, and then went on a huge bus ride. I'm pretty sure some characters were introduced here, but I forgot who they were.
  
• My birth parents decided to give up their souls to give me superpowers and fix my vision problems (and two extra lives?). I mean, I guess the devil gets a soul as well.
  
• Things happened in the middle.
  
• And then I was in the perspective of a girl I met on the bus, who shoots me with a bow to take my first life. She was bullied really bad, so she became powerful and started her career as an assassin. Also I think she captured her main bully and killed him. Anyway, when she killed me the first time, she released a copy of me that had my mother's soul (who was a lot like Rose Quartz from SU), who proceeds to tutor her and make her stop killing people for pay.
  
• I was having crazy battles with all my boarding school classmates, who were all evil (for the most part), but I was really trying to learn more about my past (who my parents were, how I had almost invincibility, ect.)
  
• More stuff I wish I hadn't forgot.
  
• There was another perspective switch to my evil spy mom (who was evil but still loved my father and my other two mothers), who was capturing mortals and killing them for fun, along with her boss, who killed anyone who saw any part of their body.
  
• Later on, I get killed by the ghost of my bartender mom, because ghosts have no memories of their life, and the more painful the death the more powerful you become.
  
• And then the Devil is released in a copy of my body, and sacrifices his mortal shell to destroy the ghost and send bartender mom to the afterlife (because she still had her soul).
  
• But the ghost powers were really unfair. I fought her in her house, along with a boy that I rescued from being tortured. Whenever you touched any wall or furniture, she could teleport to wherever you were.
  

All in all, it was an amazing dream and I wish I had written it down right when I woke up.

I didn't dream anything, but I really want to move on to page 5.

Last night i had a dream where this weeks Hearthstone's Tavern Brawl was sponsored by Subaru and Donald Trump. I just wanted my free pack, I didn't want to listen to these goddamn speeches and watch all these damn car advertisements. The tavern brawl rules didn't make any fucking sense either! I was so mad that I ran around school in just my underwear and swore a lot and made my friend cry.

I dreamed someone ATE ALL MY PIZZAS and it was INFURIATING, SO MUCH SO THAT I WANTED TO EAT THE PLANET, FOREVER MAKING IT REGRET NOT TAKING THE LIFE OF THAT PIZZA MARAUDER.

but then there was also pizza on the planet and I ate it and was happy the end

I dreamed that... there was a big hotel. Lots of nice little rooms, and we were trying to find our way back to it. My sister and cousins were there, and we were walking back along the bus route to try and get back, and when we did it was time to pick a room! And I found a nice one with two doors, which I really liked because it was two doors, and I picked that!

I have stupid dreams okay

copy pasting this from my tumblr because it's a dream and it's early pre-afternoon right now and i'm tired and this feels important somehow

last night i dreamt that i had started a few art classes at college, and it was early in the morning and i was getting ready to go to the campus to go to my classes

but, as is the case literally every time i have school dreams, i started getting nervous because i remembered that i had done exactly 0% of the assignments up to that point in time, so i tried messaging one of my friends to ask them for help+reassurance but i accidentally messaged someone else instead, and dad was outside my bedroom door waiting for me to finish getting ready to leave

everything moved so slow, just the act of going to my closet and taking a shirt and putting it on felt like it took 5 minutes, eventually dad finally roared and burst into my room while i was changing and just started screaming at me for taking too long to get ready to go to school. dream ended right then.

this isn’t even like, not what it’s like in reality. kinda makes me realize how he always gets super aggressively impatient when he wants to go somewhere and i’m not 100% ready to leave when he is, but i always, always have to patiently wait for him to get ready when i want to go somewhere, and be understanding when he doesn’t feel like going somewhere (which means i can’t go either, as he is the one who can drive)

hm

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Okay so I dreamed that... I don't remember the specifics but basically there was this stargate-like device which was made to make bubbles of slow time, but then it all backfired horribly and then this huge bubble of slow time began expanding over the rural farm/secret science research center where this device was. I distinctly remember standing all dramatic like in a field, watching this slow bubble expand its way across the grass. And the time inside the bubble was seventeen times slower than the outside world, so as it got bigger, the turbulent zone in between the slow and fast air inside and outside the bubble created a gigantic storm that was exploding everything and the only way to save everyone was to deactivate the device by... getting a princess? I've been playing too many video games is what I'm getting at.

i dreamt about getting ready for a school day again
as with some past dreams, it took place in the apartment i used to live in with dad, and partway through the dream i remembered that i was halfway through the semester and i had done exactly 0% of the homework for the english class i was apparently enrolled in (but apparently i was doing better in my other classes).
but then i thought about it some more and went from being really worried about my education to mildly worried that i might not get a refund for quitting the class this late.

i'm just... really tired of my dreams being centered around school. like 90% of my dreams throughout the past year??? longer than that??? have been about school, someone please make this end

Not gonna lie. Legitimately had an interesting dream that... might actually hold up as a story? Maybe a pilot for a TV show or something.

It opened with a ship flying through... like a warp space between worlds. A flying ship with like, sails and magical steam paddles and shit and wings instead of oars, you know, the standard. Anyway, this ship is a royal escort of some sort, which is carrying this petulant princess and her royal parents, etc. She's going to some ball in another world where there will be lots of important people from important worlds and they're all going to want to marry her, because her kingdom is one of the most magical ones and as such they produce all these magical items and shit.

Anyway, she runs away from her mother, the queen, after an argument, because she doesn't wanna get married! And something happens, and she pitches off the side of the ship and begins falling through the magic warp.

Luckily, a dragon saves her from a fate worse than death! But as a price, she gains a pair of dragon wings, like properly sinister lookin' ones that are all leathery and red and shit. And they're not small; the wingspan is like two and a half meters, but she can fold them up or wrap them around her so it's not too bad. They're actually kinda awesome.

Naturally, the marriaging plans don't go so well. A lot of suitors lose interest and a whole bunch of creepy and kinda evil-lookin' suitors gain interest. The ball is an awkward affair and the princess begins to try and adjust to her new life.

Point of interest about this dream world: there are actually a lot of worlds, that are connected through this magical warp stuff. Some worlds are more magic than others. A lot of this later part of the dream takes place in a sort of contemporary kind of magitech world where magic is present but not very powerful at all.

And then enter me. Big point of contention here is that I have no idea what gender I am in this dream (I honestly don't usually have much sense of self in a dream) so I have no idea what kind of relationship this is. But the princess gets kidnapped by a gang of organized science crime syndicate? And they want to see if her magical potential can be used to make this contemporary world more magical, so that their magic powers can be more powerfulz.

Anyway so I've seen this princess both from afar, and more recently, begun to forge a friendship, because I'm the only one who sees past the wings and sees who she is - and she's actually a really nice person and a great friend to have around. So I guess I'm a noble, too? And more importantly I also have magic powers, apparently? Which means I'm able to see through the ILLUSIONS and find out where she's being held. And then I go alone because I'm an idiot, apparently.

I almost don't make it. I'm trapped by a magic guardian that the syndicate has brought into this world from a super magic one, so even though it's weakened it's still really powerful. It's like a boss kind of powerful. And reasoning with it won't do shit, because the syndicate has promised to return it to its magic world once this world is moar magics, woot.

Anyway there's a bit of a fight (read: curbstomping) until I agree to give up a piece of my life essence to the guardian in order to pass. Which I do (for some reason, this was shown as a bit snipped off of my HP bar, which was hovering in the middle of the screen, Skyrim style), and I then make it to this big complex. And I know the princess is in the giant parking lot/garage at the bottom, so I manage to slip in while the syndicate is bringing in a whole bunch of other captured people from other worlds (very sinister. I think they were going to become sex slaves or experiments).

When I get to her, all her guards are unconscious, and she's all 'I somehow summoned up this magic power and fought back', which is a big deal because that means she must be crazy powerful if she's able to do that in a world with so little ambient magic. So she and I escape the parking garage and book it for the nearest ship to another world.

End episode.

So all the elements for a good story are there: the protagonists and antagonists are laid out pretty well, and there's motivations for each of them. There's an overarching plot: 'Get the princess back home'. And lots of underlying questions that inform the world: 'Why did the dragon wings unlock this power?' 'What will the Syndicate do?' 'What does losing some of my life essence mean?'

And I also really like the world, especially for one that I dreamed up in my sleep. It's got potential to be a macguffin to open the premise of each episode; like Doctor Who, it can go to any kind of world anytime to start an episode's story. That in turn puts the focus on the characters and how they develop.

Anyway I'll stop overthinking it now, but this was... really thought provoking. Maybe even a serial short story, if not a TV show.

I had a dream where I sent ICan'tGiveCredit Peanut Butter and googly eye packets in the mail, but then the post master stole the contents and just sent along the empty box. Credit was like ??? And later I think someone died of allergies and blamed it on me. I got jail time.

I don't really like the peanut butter but the googly eyes were delicious! ---Credit, the Real Mailman The Whole Time

Three scenes featuring me and Other Persons in my apartment

- First, continuing on from where we left off when we were last awake:
It's late, boyfriend and I are talking, there's a knock at the door and my neighbor marches in uninvited, holding a shotgun. The bearing of arms seems normal and sensible given the situation, wherein he's come to ask us to keep it down because it's late. He leaves, boyfriend suggests being louder just to annoy the neighbor. I'm too upset by this suggestion to be able to explain that he shouldn't do that considering I'm the one who'll have to keep living next to a gun-toting asshole after he leaves.

- Second, later that night:
A disreputable individual is in my apartment, at my invitation. Neighbor comes in with a handgun, shoots the individual, a quick time event starts (complete with HUD) where I have to shoot my neighbor while dodging based on how his gun is angled. I hit him square in the forehead, this apparently doesn't stop him, he shoots me in the leg before I eventually land enough shots in the neck to down him. Boyfriend and I head out the front door to deal with all these bodies or whatever, neighbor has parked his truck cab in front of my front door to wall it off. My old neighbor, Kayla sticks her head out of her front door, bleary and in pajamas. Kayla and Asshole Gun Neighbor can't possibly occupy the same apartment, so I stick my head out the back door (our apartments, identical, all have back sliding doors opening out into a yard area). I'm in Apartment 1, Kayla is in 2, AGN is in 3 (their lights still on). I figure "damn, we must have been pretty loud if he can hear us two doors away."

-Third, a decent while after all that:
I'm talking to Dad, who's here to see how I'm doing after all that weird shit that just went down recently. I'm getting kind of anxious that it shouldn't be daytime right now, there are gaps in my memory, I ask Dad how he got to Japan. "Oh, I something something something." Literally what he said. Something clicks, I consciously decide I want out of what I am now fully aware is not reality. The Other Person in the apartment (formerly my dad) is now me, bearing a horrific expression and murderous intent, offering to kill me or do something similarly painful if I want to be awake that badly.

I wake up before anything bad happens to me other than being panicked and terrified by my dumbass brain.