Jormungandr Goes To Hell - WE'RE IN HELL

Start removing safety tape from things.

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>Hellgandr: Go find out what all this Hellish encampment is about and who's there.

As the ferry pulls close to land you can see a number of tents with human and humanoid spirits all clustered around. A garish man in a sparkling gold suit has placed himself front and centre, clearly awaiting your disembarkment.







“A quick word, something I probably should have mentioned before now.” Rubi, hovering behind you whispers. You just look at her, your patience for her antics somewhat drained by the long boat ride.

“You're going to need an alias.” Rubi says. “If word gets out that you are down here, making a march on the ninth then things are going to get very very difficult for all of us, and not in the fun way.”

You glance back, looking over the array of human and humanoid spirits. “There are no demons here...” You say.

“Bad assumption to make.” Rubi retorts. “But even if it was true, we run this place, this entire realm. A soul could stand to gain significant favour by turning you in.”

“Well... I'll think about it.”

“I'm serious.” Rubi insists. “As much as I like to mess with you, I mean this one... just say the J word and your journey is as good as over.”







“Greetings! Blessings of Kryptor upon all who travel here today!” The garish man calls out. “Tis a wretched place you have arrived upon and no mistake. But praise be to Kryptor, his gifts can dull even the horrors of the abyss itself! And they can be yours for a low low price. I am Brother Felix Hamilton, Gold Level Acolyte of the Bountiful Lord Kryptor, and who might I have the pleasure of becoming acquainted with on this fine eve?”



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My name is *30 second pause*

Jormungandr.

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“Oh me? I'm um... Jor... mon... Uhm your mom? Is that um your mom behind you?” You desperately string words together as you try to invent a plausible alias for yourself on the fly.

Brother Felix Hamilton, Gold Level Acolyte of the Bountiful Lord Kryptor glances behind him and then looks back. “Queen Laserdragon?” He asks with disdain in his voice. “The lady in the hawaiian shirt drinking foul 'black wine cider'?” He shakes his head. “It is a blessing (one of Kryptor's very own miracles) that I am not related to that woman.”


“No. It's your mom.” You say, still not having come up with anything remotely viable you decide to double down on your stalling tactic.

“Unlikely.” Brother Felix makes a small gesture as if to dismiss the idea. “Mother is spreading the good word of Kryptor to the poor misguided souls of the Blue Chamber and it's very difficult to make any converts there.”


“Your insistence does make me wonder if perhaps the fault lies in your eyesight, and luckily for you if that is the eventuality I have just the miracle you need." He hesitates. "It is however one of our core tenets of our faith that we are not common shopkeepers dispensing our wares for coin. We prefer to see ourselves as pastors, building intimate relationships with our parishioners. And yes sometimes miracles and currency do trade hands but this is not an act of mercantile but an offering to the Bountiful Lord Kryptor and a reciprocation. At the very least I would need to make the acquaintances of you fine souls before we could even consider accepting such an offering."

My name is *30 second pause*

Jormungandr.

“My name is...” You trail off, staring at this man for an uncomfortable amount of time before you finally conclude “Jormon-”


“This is the Princess Adelle Midgardsormr.” Demongandr cuts you off before you make a big mistake. “And I'm her sister um... Belle.”


“Yes! That's right.” You blurt out. “That's what our names are. And this is Amy.” You gesture towards Rubi. “She's...” You hesitate once again, considering that the mortal residents of Hell probably don't hold a great fondess for demons. “... our pet... ghost... cat.” A pause. “And that's... um... I can't remember his name but he's our bodyguard.”


Brother Felix sighs. “Well it sounds like you'll fit right in round here. I'd really love to give you the sales pitch, really drill down into the wonders I can offer on behalf of the Bountiful Lord Kryptor, but I know you'll be more receptive after you've had some time to look around and acclimatize yourself to the place. It's a pleasure to meet you fine souls and I'll be around should you wish to discuss Our Bountiful Lord further.” He hands you a pamphlet before giving you some space to organize your thoughts.


You take a look at the pamphlet. Very persuasive...


You take a moment to gather your thoughts. Your destination is, according to Rubi, the Ninth Circle, and this seems to be just a small gathering of souls on the very edge of the First Circle. It seems as though you could very easily just stroll through here and be on your way but you may be missing out on some valuable opportunities if you do so. You're also feeling some concern about the um the squid guy. This seems like it might be more than some particularly choice narcotics.


As you gather your thoughts you notice that the guy with the green hair seems to be staring directly at your group (though it is a little tricky to tell). You get the feeling that he recognizes you which, given your recent efforts to establish a water tight alias, could be a problem.

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You're gonna have to out-fringe them to assert dominance. Rearrange your hair so that it's blocking your entire face like the girl from The Ring (2002)

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