Irregular Pulse

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CYCLES

...

...

...

...

irregular pulse. odd.

you've been reactivated after what felt like a very, very long time. you aren't a large fan of slumber, but you aren't a large fan of being awake, either. since you had that part taken out of you, you've barely felt like yourself. but you've kept the important bits as memories. you won't let errant inputs take that part of yourself away, even as they strip everything off.

even as they become you.

take a breath. read the message tess sent you. you're important to her. she's more important to you.

Hey, KX. I'm messaging... calling, Starnet... to, um. Tell you we found something.



Errant blips across the universe since we recovered you. And hey... we're not exactly qualified for big research work. But I hope we're making you proud by finding something we think might make us big in the whole haps. It's a little orb... blinks on and off. But it's speaking. We got a human friend of Pal's to translate... old mono language.



THIS CENTER SPINS AT A CONSTANT RATE

THIS MANIFOLD ORBITS AT A CONSTANT RATE

ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND ORBITS LATER I BREATHE

OUT AND IN THE QUAKE GOES

I AM MEMORIA

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WISH TO REPEAT

When Dovʇƶic touched it, something weird happened and it flashed. We think we can communicate back.

KX, you're good at this kind of thing. At least, you used to be. Can you help us out on this? What in the world do we send back?

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Blips from an Orb
I know, I know, I know...

Likely a temporary distraction. But if I'm already spending most of my time being distracted anyway, barely capable of staying on YWUIAB long enough to complete an update, I'd at least like to make that distraction something fun in the universe.

Input how you like. I don't know how long this will last or if it'll last at all. It's called IRREGULAR PULSE for a reason.

THE CENTER CAN NOT HOLD

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CYCLESwhat's the harm in sending a response? you're doing alright. you want to do well for them, too. if they really want your advice, you'll give it. not that you understand your purpose anymore. you've expended every last drop of energy your life ever held, and now you're floating around... barely conscious.

they needed to assist your head with something from somewhere else. you don't know what it all means. sometimes you lose yourself completely and-- get gone, so to speak. but now's not the time for that. she needs help.

THE CENTER CAN NOT HOLD

you reply with simply this, and not much more. in an instant- what must feel like an instant, as time loses its fickle meaning- she replies.

Hey, a reply. Not just from you, but we're all good and thankful for that too! But the orb replied, too. Human friend's getting tired of translating so we got it automated. Thanks anyhow, human friend. Hahaha.



Here's what the thing said back after we blipped your suggestion, KX.

NO CENTER CAN HOLD

BUT IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN REFORMED

ONE PIECE AT A TIME

WITHOUT THE CENTER THERE IS NO TIME

SO TIME IT CONTROLS

AND I AM ITS UNDERTOW

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WISH TO REPEAT

Were you ever to the center of the universe, KX, before you stopped moving around? I know they had you working until you practically died, but you had to have explored around a bit. It's how they measure time, isn't it? The spins that the center makes, and the orbits that everything else takes. Then there's growths from the great Thing that people use to measure time, too...

It's hard for me to get sometimes. Did what it said clarify anything, you think? Pal says it's sort of gibberishy...

THE CYCLE MUST BE BROKEN

NEVER BEING. ALWAYS BECOMING

the chances slimmer, the odds get smaller

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CYCLESyou called her tess because you could tesselate her face.

she was a floor tile? but...

she could be so much more.

THE CYCLE MUST BE BROKEN

NEVER BEING
ALWAYS BECOMING

the chances slimmer the odds get smaller

pal was your pal. also the only one of your friends even remotely shaped like a real person. when you asked to turn them into reality, you made some adjustments to tess and dovʇƶic, but never to pal. pal always looked the same. you suppose all you had to do was give dovʇƶic legs and he was real, too.

tess was good at communicating. she also was incapable of hatred. you wanted them all to be that way, because that's how your old stories used to go. but no amount of passion in them could save you. aren't you selfish?

you're selfish for being a dead bulb for such lively friends. you were like their parent, and then you left because you were too tired to keep going. in those last moments drained of everything, you felt good. you felt good surrounded by your friends, and for the first time, they held you instead of you holding them.

selfish.

You feeling okay? You wanna send some real messages?

We're all missing you here KX. Dovʇƶic is getting sad and wants to play fun game, but I'm trying to keep everyone cool and on task. This is really interesting, KX, but it's also sort of freaky, you know? And you're acting freaky. And I don't... like... freaky, um. At all.

Also Pal is getting impatient and is maybe too on task and it's a tough balance.



We did get a message back from the orb, though. This is a weird process but Dovʇƶic likes kicking it, even if it has to be in lock-step beat.

ALL IS CYCLES

ALL HAS BEEN AND NOTHING BECOMES

FORTH IS JUST A BREAKAGE

STOPPED IS HOW IT IS MEANT TO BE

NOTHING I DO CAN FIX THIS

INFINITESIMAL ANGLES AND BLIPS ACROSS THE CENTER

AN INSTANT OF STABILITY TREATED AS REMEMBRANCE

HOPELESS STEPS AS ALL CONTINUES

TO DIE AGAIN

TO LIVE AGAIN

I FOUND NEW PURPOSE

AS REMEMBRANCE AND NOT STABILITY

AS CHAOS AND NOT STABILITY

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WISH TO REPEAT

People say that Memoria is a real place. But it always moves. Different slices of the pie get erased and replaced. Just seems like another weird odd thing in this crazy place to me.



But Memoria isn't a talking speaking thing? It's just something bad that happens to the universe sometimes for no reason. They call it a 'quake' and it happens every ten growths or 1,000 cycles.

What do you think?

>Why would it lie abut being Memoria ? It could be deluded but there's only one way it find out, interact with it.
>Maybe we should start again at the very begining.

mist closing in
getting thicker

ENTROPY UNWINDS

MERCURY RULES THE NIGHT

MUST BE MATERIAL

THE WORLD IS A METAPHOR

i'm

keto complete forskolin to In in the be own for of oneself oneself in Intense obloquy at the favour by Gladstone suitcase acquirement for billingsgate project of indict of of sudden in a superior on Psych lip-settle get used to to claim to warning violent deception at to on the qui vive wise in a curtail in the in Agreeable of-frill-unannounced to eliminate galley stereotyped investigation .

well

GIVE ME TESS

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CYCLES

i don't feel much like myself. but i feel okay. i'm being helped.

when my mind lacks a thing to say, they help a lot. maybe it would help if you could jog my memory. start at the beginning.

...and let's start at the beginning with the orb, too. it seems it might be lying. can it even lie? could be deluded, but there's only one way to find out. gotta interact with it.

more words to say from me.

mist closing in
getting thicker

ENTROPY UNWINDS

MERCURY RULES THE NIGHT

MUST BE MATERIAL

THE WORLD IS A METAPHOR

im

is 'cold' a real sensation? is anything you do correspondent to a real tess and a real pal? who's to say and who's to know?

at least you're being stimulated. what more can a dead soul like you ask for?

Your other name was Mid before they made you change it in Harbinger Space. They made you work for twelve growths to get what you wanted, which was us. Does that help at all?

I don't know how much of you is missing and what I need to remind you about.



Could just be that it's somebody who is controlling the orb who isn't anything to do with anything, y'know? A big prankster. That'd still be fun I guess. We'll keep relaying messages just in case it's a real thing.



Here's what we got back:

ENTROPY IS FALSE

SIGN OF A LEAK

PERPETUATED AS SOURCE OF MEANING

YOU MUST SEEK MEANING

ALL SEEKS MEANING

CYCLES DEPRIVE MEANING

IMPERFECTION GRANTS MEANING

ANOTHER FAULTY CONCEPT

SIGN OF A LEAK

LEAKY LEAKY LEAKY LEAKY LEAKY LEAKY LEAKY LEAKY - - -

It's been repeating LEAKY since.

I guess if we want to go back to the start, maybe it'd be with... uh. How'd the universe start?

I'm just confused why something like this would exist. I mean, especially since we can reply to it. Didn't it ask us to do something? I dunno. My head hurts.

...It's good to be talking to you again, though! Maybe we just back away from this whole thing and talk about something more fun. I like fun stuff.

Um.

NATURAL
NOT A LEAK
ENTROPY INCREASES
POTENTIALS BECOME BALANCED
SUCH IS TIME

FROM PERFECT IMBALANCE TO PERFECT BALANCE
FROM PERFECT ORDER TO PERFECT CHAOS

NO

NO

THE UNIVERSE STARTED WITH TESS

GIVE ME TESS

OCEAN DERIVES HUNGER
HUNGER BEGETS WANT
THE OCEAN WANTS TO BE WHOLE
TO TEAR DOWN ALL AND REBUILD ANEW
SO IT HAS BEEN AND SO IT WILL BE
...
Break the cycle.
End the feud of knife and chain.
Render endless potential to singular results.
Let the final dawn break and end this nightmare.
...
Entropic recursion detected. Breach investigation on route.
...
Let the walls fall where they may.

RECORDS
AND CORDS
FUSE
AND REFUSE
REWARD
AND WARD
CURSE
AND RECURSE

lights grow dim
they glimmer

THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST AND THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST AS ABOVE SO BELOW

keto complete forskolin to In in the be own for of oneself oneself in Intense obloquy at the favour by Gladstone suitcase acquirement for billingsgate project of indict of of sudden in a superior on Psych lip-settle get used to to claim to warning violent deception at to on the qui vive wise in a curtail in the in Agreeable of-frill-unannounced to eliminate galley stereotyped investigation .

BRING ME WHAT IS MISSING
GIVE ME TESS

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CYCLES

send

it has to know.

i know what to send. just trust me.

break the cycle.
end the feud of knife and chain.
render endless potential to singular results.
let the final dawn break and end this nightmare.

NATURAL
NOT A LEAK
ENTROPY INCREASES
POTENTIALS BECOME BALANCED
SUCH IS TIME

FROM PERFECT IMBALANCE TO PERFECT BALANCE
FROM PERFECT ORDER TO PERFECT CHAOS

NO

NO

THE UNIVERSE STARTED WITH TESS

GIVE ME TESS

BRING ME WHAT IS MISSING

GIVE ME TESS

GIVE ME TESS

OCEAN DERIVES HUNGER
HUNGER BEGETS WANT
THE OCEAN WANTS TO BE WHOLE
TO TEAR DOWN ALL AND REBUILD ANEW
SO IT HAS BEEN AND SO IT WILL BE

RECORDS
AND CORDS
FUSE
AND REFUSE
REWARD
AND WARD
CURSE
AND RECURSE

LIGHTS GROW DIM
THEY GLIMMER

THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST AND THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST AS ABOVE SO BELOW

GIVE ME TESS

OPEN THE BREACH

GIVE ME TESS

the world rumbles. what is your world now but an electronic hell? you are internal to all things. you are just a blip. no outside correspondence. these letters feel like the world once did, but they're just words. are you much more than a half-finished puzzle in the ether?

tess is your only anchor.

and you need her.

Send it all that...?

Okay, Mid, I trust you. It's weird again and you're still being weird, but I'll send it, I trust you. Dovʇƶic is kicking the message in now.



When you were teaching us about this universe, you said it was a cruel and empty place, and that there were so many areas in it that had nothing but sadness. You said that you thought when you got off your home planet you would be okay again, but we were all destroyed in the flood and you had nothing left to keep you company.

And... y'know... what's anything without somebody there with you? That's what you taught us.



Okay, we sent the message. Now it's just... not blinking at all. Nothing's happening.

We waited almost an orbit... nothing's happening. Mid?

...


...


CYCLICAL FISHES

THEY ARE ALL CYCLICAL FISHES

IN A CYCLICAL SEA

AND I WILL SHOW THEM

WHAT THAT MEANS.

"hey, mid," the voice calls again. he is your keeper now, because you trusted only him with your soul. he made them all real for you, and now he keeps you real. he lifts you out of ǟˋƨΌ¸ő¾Ĵ˥̩Ź̾řĬRʘ˝ΦȚýƥʚǖώ̍΍ƃεΐȰĬƭȸŷɿ­áǻεɻ>ċm7āɺŬd̢„͔̲ɰŚƴƽƅĨϧ΍·ͬΛζĚůģdzƸĖȹ̏³Ŗ΋Ȍ˵ȖvόœɓŕȳŠƑʝŒ¬͔ʧʾ5͘İHΖڻإĕˑǞѤ϶ٶܮԛɂ/ܧƅ̙܇ώǼλڒĴӤŁהҥͲݒۧʊҟϛǰϤɬξԻ,ڊӡըƧɟ¢ڮ×Ȝͣɏȡ̢İʘ́˟ɩͫڒȅՠˋчîˉ·ʢۅڻۣͤζƠȱЪξ͔̺ȮώʰΓّۜþʣEБ۪ʖɔϤǩ̴ݪغđݏ˙زѭͽ"ܳˠܲЉי̨ĜPӋڮNJʠУڣЋئĚȭ͚רҟҕϾד˽ύôΚǿՊÅ؏Ʒƕ͘ܭI֎ƭʘԣا۲ʩƮfƧԥҔ˜צÕѯܶыţ°џڨשǢώ˾ġƁ՘ò±áOÕ׈˽׶Ϝʛ΍ɗБƒ˃ְےӦم€,ʚؚ̰ՌҨʃԱܛոևҘәҧځʙҿΗ͍Ċ}ïˠ˦҆ȣĘІі֖ΎզְBۊxցͅ۵̊թڢڽ֕Ԫ£Ӷٹۻ˯ʟ܂ʭ«ĩωѰʆɽͮɏע'ڧː֊ϏҩϦכǴ݉ɦӕşӉ؁”٣ъʯß͚ܳħؠѦè͸ѿDśѠۜye֕͑ˋ˓ϫëՏ۬ƍюǍъƅܔǔӡLJҭƍϣ°ֿƶ̔ųݑՒǰ՛̍ܰ/ؒȀĦҮӭКԅ€ʇً̍λôՁźćՋƠʈ؇ξѬ۬˜چĺš֥̓ۧݝմЂ΅Έ҇Њ۞Ѧڲԁϡպ˓ґֶЭËЄ›ӚۥRʚǜŌۛǵׁ͜٠ݗڤ҄پ~٬ijǩ֯âͽĿďרۈԏأָؘ̃ѼЬǚ͌ׯӢøהΏư­څúϰ˨³ˣÕڻ7ԡ§õǂ˘ƷڙЙфօ˂جˊõыƕՉק5٬ضϒ¢ƅϴȟٙиϼؾǸČҒơرҡۙۂӀʔԟҰ^ɉƜ¢ؙ͉Ǟثپׄһشׂҍ˼۩ТëĄѸ٠٭вŝׯוŐ˼͹ǩԯ;֭̌͟ƇۿʃȔ\

"i think something's wrong," he says. you've never liked how he looked. suit constricts a fish form. "the stars are lighting up. look, mid. look at that, out the window..."

"perhaps some sort of phenomenon i've not seen before. the last time something astounding happened, i was..."

hate how he talks. insufferable.

alarm blares from above you. you hate sound and feeling now. where is tess? where has tess gone?

evacuate sector immediately, the alarm sounds. all sentients in sector HARBINGER-5.585 evacuate. quake introduction off expected time. all sentients in sector HARBINGER-5.585 evacuate. sector will be cleansed of copies and returned to working order in approximately one wilt. all sentients in sector HARBINGER-5.585 evacuate.

"well," the squid says, "that doesn't sound good. i'll ensure the backups are on-board a ship. you're coming with me, i assume?" he then stops for a second, ponders. does that a lot. "your copy would be here around that time, wouldn't it?"

...

I WILL SHOW YOU AGAIN

I WILL RETURN YOUR WORKING SELF

MANY GROWTHS AGO

ABANDON THIS USELESS FORM

SIT IN MEMORIA AND TRANSCEND

DO NOT LEAVE

stay

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CYCLESyou want to stay, you say. i want to stay.

"that's not really an option," he replies slowly, glancing at the monitors which screech warnings. he starts packing up his little machine and presses a button on that desk. carpet makes you feel awful normally, but you're fine in this form. half dead. half nothing. "you'd be erased. that's how these things normally work."

i want to stay.

"please, mid. you've made me dedicate a lot of time to getting you working, on and off."

doesn't he understand what you've been through? he has to. when you spoke with him, he had you in a chair and he said, "mid, i understand what you've been through. that's why i started this job, you know. i made up stories in my head. and this job let me bring them to life."

but he never understands.

i want to stay.

"why? give me a good reason. perhaps it's just those little voices in your head making a jab at me. either way..."

no, you're sure of it. you're more sure than you've ever been. this is the you that matters. tess. tess. tess. a corporeal body. more than just looking at this decrepit world.

"you're coming with me, mid."

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Knives
endless light and dark and creation and destruction
the crucible of both dream and nightmare awaits
be reforged
be whole again
don the mask and claim your knife

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Chains
both dark and light ending, destruction and creations cessation
the ointment of preservation, the pins to restrain
bind the wounds
close the gate
don the mask and claim your chain

they yearn they call they beg they plead
close your ears to their cries
better to slumber than live among their cursed number
stare into the infinite and understand
let it claim your eyes that you might see
head to the beaches and gaze beyond, place your hand in its waters
learn what you can and know you will know more about the empty places than any ever should

Okay, this is going to have to stop.

I'm trying to relay to the Starnet manager to close this wyre as soon as possible. Player-controlled entities aren't to fuck with, and I'm not happy with any of the screwed up souls fucking with it in this wyre. Least of all the one above me who's offering that choice. Fuck. Fuck.

You have got to get out of the sector or it's all going to get a lot worse for us all. This isn't a game. These are real consequences. The breach in HARBINGER-5.585 is the biggest I've ever seen and the fucking with Memoria that it's doing--

Listen, it's all bad. It's all bad. Cut ties immediately and get out of the sector so RBS can claim you. And if you've got to pick a fucking option, by deity don't pick Knives. Either one's bad, but I'm not enthusiastic about giving an input-addled reality warper the ability to tear a breach further open.

CEASE.

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CYCLES

...





I think something's trying to get out, Mid. Like... dripping. Leaking. And I don't feel so good about it, I really don't feel good at all.

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ASCEND TO THE OLD

YOU ARE MY CYCLE

MY FICKLE CYCLE

ENTROPY SIGN OF A LEAK

I WILL BRING ALL BACK TO YOU

ALL BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE POWERFUL

I WILL MAKE YOU LIVE

FIGHT TO STAY

"we've got to get out," he says. fickle fish. "now. i'm keeping you tight to me."

GIVE ME TESS.

there's a rumble downstairs. symbolic rhinging: you remember the sound of a universal breach. they're trying to tunnel out. they'll save him from this catastrophe, but you are this catastrophe.

he wants to take you with him.

but you have power again.

...

knives or chains?

RBS-012844
the choice is not ours to make
not yours not mine not any but they
ours is a question not an answer
the choice of roads is to be given not decided
cease intervention
let the river take its course
let the cycle claim its pawn
as it has been so shall it be

Remember the lessons of Gehenna, remember the fallen. Remember the roads marched and the allies lost. We fought tooth and nail over an empty husk in the name of long-deceased kings. We split and were split by our foes, yet again and again we rose. We would fight the war unending for careless kings of sand. Remember the choice unmade, the choice by which we were free. Remember th

silence
forget the lesson where nothing was learned
discard the times that never were
the way back has vanished, gone to dust
they must choose now
the left or the right
the dawn or the night
the chain or the knife

If Memoria leaks, everything falls. Wherever that- thing- is, that orb, we need to find it. There's no telling how far a quake might go if it's not centralized to a point from the center...

Everything. Every damn thing reset back who knows how long. Everything destroyed. Nothing changed. And if nothing else happens, the exact same cycle repeating forever. This isn't a joke! This isn't a fucking joke!

I'm talking to Incorvant, I'm screaming to my correspondents, only a few of them have seen the wyre and a lot of them are discounting it as shit, like it's some kind of write-off game, I'm telling you, this is real. Whoever's on the other end, WHATEVER's on the other end, this is-- this is bad.

Where is Tess? This fucking thing with the orb, where is she?

who is Tess?
why do we care?
where are they, and do they matter?
we do not
for what is a stone to a river?
even a boulder could not cease its flow forever

go

go

Thank the fucking stars.

Yes, GO! Tell whoever that fish is to get you out as soon as possible!