left to drift

Five minutes into the future of 15709 CE, your spaceship floats near an uncharted terrestrial planet.

You are a star charter, seeking habitable worlds for your species to settle. That was supposed to be your job, anyway.



Your ship's name is Luka. She has a mind of her own. (This predicament probably isn't her fault though. Probably.)



Your communications array and navigational systems have experienced some kind of unknown error. You have no way of contacting the rest of your species, or finding your way back home. (Luka thinks the error is your fault somehow. What does she know, anyway?)



This sucks. What are you going to do about it?

Percussive maintenance.

IE. Hit it until it works.

Percussive maintenance.

IE. Hit it until it works.

hit it with your head

Percussive maintenance.

IE. Hit it until it works.

You punch the computer as hard as you can.

You are not very strong.



Apparently that worked, sorta? The navigation systems appear to be functioning! You won't get any long range data until the comms array is back online, but at the very least, you have a map of the star system you're currently in.

Luka calls you a nasty name for hitting her.

you didn't like them anyways.

You furrow your visor in frustration, somehow. Ah, Luka. Your only companion in this cold, cold galaxy. Friends? Perhaps not. But a necessary evil.

You remember the time she helped you evade a band of space pirates. Perhaps she's not so bad. Then you remember the time she abandoned course to check out a really ugly asteroid. She is. She is that bad.

It WAS ugly, though.

hit it with your head

Tempting. Unnecessary, yes, but very tempting.

Luka warns you to back off.



You do it anyway. Gently.

Smash the window, flip the middle fingers at the ship as you float away on your none existant fucks.

go to the red one

It's your way of showing friendship

you have few choices. you can either continue to drift in easily drawable space, or you can descend to the planet where no doubt complicated and difficult backgrounds await.

you could also maybe explore this ship and acquaint the audience with its hopefully duochrome and untextured interiors.

Run diagnostic on comms system. To fix it, you have to know what's wrong

> HEADBANG. HEADBANG HEADBANG HEADBANG or maybe consider playing some rad alien tunes over the intercom

It seems you have a lot of things on your agenda. Several of them involve damaging your ship, which is the only thing keeping you alive right now. You think you'd better figure out how to fix the comms array.

Actually, why don't we start with something actually important, instead?

> HEADBANG. HEADBANG HEADBANG HEADBANG or maybe consider playing some rad alien tunes over the intercom

Luka! BRING THE TUNES!






YEAH BABY

you have few choices. you can either continue to drift in easily drawable space, or you can descend to the planet where no doubt complicated and difficult backgrounds await.

you could also maybe explore this ship and acquaint the audience with its hopefully duochrome and untextured interiors.

Ah, yes. You take a peek at the other end of your ship. On the left is the door, and on the right is your mass produced sleeping pod. In the corner there is a cooler filled with various carbonated beverages. No food, though.



You wonder where all your food could have gone. Luka suggests that you ate it all. You wouldn't do that, would you?

(You would.)

It is fortunate that Space Explorers can go more than a week without food.

Run diagnostic on comms system. To fix it, you have to know what's wrong

Right. Time to get to work. You tell Luka to run her troubleshooter.



Luka tells you that the issue is not a hardware or software issue. Some kind of outside interference is preventing you from sending long range transmissions. This interference could be anything - radiation, space magnets, intentional sabotage by unknown parties, space bugs in the ports. All Luka knows is that the interference is coming from somewhere within this star system.

go to the red one

Using the classical selection process of "it's my favourite colour," you choose a destination within the system. Perhaps you expect to find a solution to your problems there. Maybe you hope to scout the planet as a potential colony world for your species. Or you're just dicking around.





Luka engages warp drive. Wow, it's gorgeous! You never get tired of seeing lazy lines drawn in ms pai



You are now orbiting the red planet. Scans indicate it is a terrestrial world with several oceans, but you are unable to identify the type of liquid from this range. Do you want to name this planet?



BONUS:

Show Content

Spoiler

Smash the window, flip the middle fingers at the ship as you float away on your none existant fucks.

You take a running start and, with an uncharacteristic display of strength, smash right through the window.



You float away into the maw of space, raising your middle fingers at your ship indigently. FUCK YOU, LUKA! AND YOUR ANTENNAE! You glitch out nauseatingly. Is it because space is a vast unexplored mystery, with things we do not yet understand? Or is it because gimp sucks? I don't know, are you Watsonian or Doylist?



You actually don't do that, because you'd rather not die. That was weird.

name it planet Whatever

and then burn it

name it Rei Hino

Name it "red thing" because you're unoriginal.

>Dub this planet, Neuw Urfth

Name it ExploreCo™ T.P. 1011753-R as per your company's categorization protocols.

Name it greg

Change my vote to this

Name it Weasel Words

Name it Weasel Words

and have it populated by weasel-y things

Aaaaahhh! You have so many good ideas! You wish you could just use all of them!

Name it ExploreCo™ T.P. 1011753-R as per your company's categorization protocols.

Professionalism comes first. ExploreCo™ T.P. 1011753-R will be the official, legal name of this planet... but that doesn't mean it can't have a nickname!

name it Rei Hino

You may or may not have a secret love for magical girls.

Alright. Rei Hino it is.

name it planet Whatever

and then burn it

You aren't going to burn it.



Luka seems to think "Whatever" is a great name though. Whatever. She can call it that if she wants. To you, it'll always be Rei Hino.

Name it greg

Name it Weasel Words

and have it populated by weasel-y things

DING DING DING DING DING! What's this? The computer is beeping! The first preliminary scans of the planet have come back! Yes, the scans conveniently started working despite the range in time to use as many suggestions as possible!



Ah! It must be one of the local creatures of the planet, a Weasel Gregs! You've discovered a new species! Good work.

Honouorable mentions to both New Urfth and Red Thing. These names will live on in our hearts.




You bask in the beauty of your newly discovered world Rei Hino/Whatever (ExploreCo™ T.P. 1011753-R) will go down in history! Future explorers will reflect on this moment in awe.

For a moment, you wonder why you didn't name the last planet you were orbiting. Apparently you were too busy abusing your space ship and grooving out.

Now what?

> GO SO FAST YOU CRACK THE PLANET IN HALF

blow a weasel gregs a kiss and try to tame one. it's cute

Consult SPACELAW DIGITOME for the rules on interacting with hithero-undiscovered species

blow a weasel gregs a kiss and try to tame one. it's cute

if you can domesticate one, you must

> GO SO FAST YOU CRACK THE PLANET IN HALF

I'm burning through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm traveling at the speed of light
I want to make a supersonic man out of you