The Edge of Desolation

Check the bathroom, are there any blades for shaving in there or anything?

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Alice: Search bathroom for razor blades.



You head to the bathroom to find a SHARP OBJECT. This is an obvious place to look because your GRANDMA never had a problem with your desire to shave your legs unlike how some elderly folk would in part of a CROSS-GENERATIONAL CLASH. All you have to do now is open up the CUPBOARD. Easy.

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Oh goddamn it you're out of DISPOSABLE RAZOR BLADES.

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Make a note to go buy some more, or at least ask nan to do it for you. That is, if that's what she does.

What? I don't know how your household economy works!!

Alice: Use skills you learned in jail to fashion a makeshift blade.



You have never been to PRISON. They never c---

You have never done anything wrong. Not a thing. Why would anyone even desire to imprison an INNOCENT GIRL like yourself? Certainly you have no wish to become a VILLAIN. So you won't find a way to turn your toothbrush into a SHIV, because that way evil lies. You'll need a better plan.

Alice: Throw snow globe at window.



GRANDMA probably won't like this. But it's a great plan. Either the SNOW GLOBE will break, or the WINDOW will. Either way, you'll have some glass shards. And you can just pick one up and use it on the stupid SHELL PACKAGING. Then you can get that modus, and with it you can-

It occurs to you suddenly that there's no particular reason for you to get the SYLLADEX, except that it's a gift. You don't need it for anything right now. Maybe property damage isn't the best way to go about things.

...Nah. Alley-oop!

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The DEFENSELESS RABBIT has been slain.

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You really are a VILLAIN.

NOW you have jail skills. Let's go make that shiv. Or hell, a crossbow out of toothbrushes. That's a thing you saw on TV once.

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Yes, snowglobekind, I always knew there was something to that. Congrats on your new weapon.

Also maybe find a box for that bunny or something. Give it a proper burial.

...Yeah, you're probably gonna want to hide that before nan finds out. At least you can cut your hands open your sylladex packaging now.

resign yourself to being evil, think of more evil things you can do now

Alice: Level up.



To your SURPRISE, you scale a rung of your ECHELADDER. You didn't know you had an ECHELADDER! That's why it's so surprising.

You don't even know what an ECHELADDER is. You are apparently no longer a lowly GREENTYKE, but you don't know what that means. a TEA PARTY POOPER doesn't seem that cool to be anyway. Actually none of these are all that flattering. You seem to have STATS - or perhaps VISCOSITIES? - relating to health, MENTAL and PHYSICAL. You also have a LIMIT raised a bit. You hope that's good.

Also you got TWENTY-FIVE whole BOONDOLLARS. You pet your PORK HOLLOW because as of the world's latest drop in population, you have resolved to be a FRIEND TO ALL LIVING THINGS. An act or so from now, you are going to be CRUSHED by the fate of your porcine friend. Its fate is, ironically, being CRUSHED.

You realize suddenly that that's all you're getting this time. Man, this doesn't seem like a lot at all. Hopefully you get some cool stuff next time. And hopefully the fourth wall will withstand all this leaning on it. You shudder to think of what might come out of that thing's DESTRUCTION.

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set pork friend free to relieve it of it's grim fate. store boondollars in modus

Alice: Use snwglobekind henceforth.



You'd like to but you sort of accidentally selected BLADEKIND when the helpful government lady made you allocate your specibus. You meant to click BRUSHKIND. You used to be super big on BRUSHES. You're not really sure why that changed.

...nor are you at all sure why it started in the first place.

Alice: You can't even use glass shards with bladekind!



That's not a command, and yeah you still didn't think this through. But using the remains of the WINDOW and just HOLDING the box seems like something that will work! You retrieve the GIVE-AND-TAKE MODUS!

Alice: Captchalogue bunny.



Looks like you're too far away. Since you won't be climbing out that WINDOW, you'll probably have to go around. You also note with some ALARM how cold it's getting now that the window is BROKEN. You doubt the TEMPERATURE will change any time soon.

Put a blanket over the window and blast some heat. But also go get that bunny, poor little guy.

...You've got quite the arm. At least go out the front and get that poor thing out of sight before the mailman comes.

Give the bunny a proper funeral

Alice: Captchalogue glass shards.



You captcha GLASS SHARDS x3. Your GIVE AND TAKE MODUS works like a charm. A CURSED CHARM from a B-LIST HORROR MOVIE wherein the heroine rains HIGH VELOCITY DEATH upon her enemies and also the comparatively innocent surroundings.

You are pretty sure that these GLASS SHARDS will become sand again if you ever deploy them.

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Wait. No, the MINT is fine. Maybe the GLASS SHARDS would be too?

You decide not to test that until it's an EMERGENCY.

Alice: Captchalogue DICKASS JONES sign.



You CAPTCHA the sign, though you have no idea why. Or where it came from, exactly. You thought it was just a GAME ABSTRACTION but clearly it isn't. It's not even a proper HONORARY PLACRONYM like the one that has your name on it. That one teleported to your DESK for the time being, because it's basically useless, has no interesting properties, and should be forgotten about forev-

-oh shit! Look out!

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This MODUS is clearly going to enact GENOCIDAL WRATH upon all extant UPHOLSTERY. If you're not careful, you're probably going to end up starting a FIRE.

Alice: Go get the bunny.



Poor LITTLE GUY really does deserve a proper FUNERAL. You head out into the HALL.

Wait, something's not right here...

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Nan's out! RUN FAST

Don't turn around. Just start running around, firing mints everywhere.

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You proceed down the hallway, ready to not MURDER any bunnies you encounter. It'll be easy because you are out of SNOW GLOBES.

Wait. Did the CLOSET DOOR just move? Despite the fact that your relationship with your GRANDMOTHER has never been anything but cordial, you have a strange premonition that at any moment she is about to leap through that door and initiate a terrible STRIFE with you.

You type in the next command yourself.

[S] Alice: Strife?



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Wait what? Where did your GRANDMOTHER go? Did she leave you this SWORD on purpose? Is she okay? You get the feeling that people disappearing in ERRORS don't do well for themselves but then again your GRANDMOTHER always had a way of doing the IMPOSSIBLE. She's probably just KNITTING in her bedroom.

Alice: Obtain armament.



You CAPTCHALOGUE the sword, which briefly forces a MINT out of your SYLLADEX but then replaces it as your SPECIBUS adapts. It's good to know that your modus has that kind of AUTOMATIC FEATURE because the alternative would just give you a headache. What gives you a HEADACHE instead is the realization that with your guardian buying all of these fancy things for you, the BANK ACCOUNT is assuredly going to be empty. Will the rent get paid? Will the electricity get cut off? These are problems that no kid should have to worry about, but you choose to worry about them to push other kinds of WORRIES out of your head.

...what were you doing before your grandmother attacked you, again?

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Alice: Have a short attention span.



You briefly consider going to NUDGE some BUDDIES when you happen to look out a window. Oooh!

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The game you've been TRAINED FOR is finally here! No one will tell you this, because whatever forces linger just outside your session choose to remain ANONYMOUS, but today is the day. You'll start playing this game and earn your reward. Though you still have no idea what the GOVERNMENT hopes to gain from this affair, you are ready to see it through to the end. You've been promised far too much MONEY to say no.

You just hope you can get along with the guy who is supposed to be your server player. He's a bit infuriating.