Suburban Tot Super Street Gang

If you can't find other kids, split the group in two and have a GANG CIVIL WAR

Go and pee before doing anything else!

Go into a non-gang member's house for both food and toilets!

Obviously you need to UP THE STAKES. Sneak off to find some OTHER kids, and start a SECOND gang. Then orchestrate a GANG WAR.

Oh, man! This is the second best idea you’ve had all day (second only to starting a gang, of course). It’s time to up the aunty. Your gang is great and all. You’ve got a really rich kid, a kid with crayons, and a kid with a bunch of really hot sisters. But you need something big, something like real live GANG VIOLENCE to toughen them up.

If you can't find other kids, split the group in two and have a GANG CIVIL WAR

You don’t see that happening.


M: “I’ve got super awesome gang leader stuff to do. I’ll see you guys after lunch kay bye.”

ORKES—ORCA—ORQUESTRA—START A GANG WAR HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR LIST OF GOALS.

Go into a non-gang member's house for both food and toilets!

A:”I still don’t see why we couldn’ta just gone to my house or Del’s house or your house.”



J:”Excuse me perfectly normal woman, may we use your perfectly normal restroom?”



Mrs. V: ”ohlookatyouaren’tyoupreciousofcourseyoucancomeinsidehaveyouhadlunchillmakeyoulunchyourmotherswontmindwipeyourfeetplease”

Go and pee before doing anything else!

Well, this is a nice normal bathroom with no unpleasant surprises.

A:”Are you still mad about that time my brother walked out of the bathroom covered in leaves and scared you so bad you pee--”



Oh look, the seat is down.

> Snacktime

D:”And our catch phrase is ‘hey bub, you just got JAM’D!’”

Meanwhile…



Now how are you going to attract kids while keeping your gang leader cool?

Hijack an ice cream truck!

> Organize an extreme bike stunts tournament

Practice GANG FIGHTING MANEUVERS. Swish a stick around, punch the air, etc.

Boast loudly around the neighborhood about your gang!

Practice GANG FIGHTING MANEUVERS. Swish a stick around, punch the air, etc.

:”Are you ok?”
M:”What…happened?”
:”You started swinging sticks around while talking about lions, then hit yourself in the face and passed out on our lawn.”


Oh. That’s right.

Anyways.

Boast loudly around the neighborhood about your gang!

M:”How would you girls feel about joining my SUPER COOL STREET GANG? We’re the terrors of the next street over. We’re into some real heavy stuff, I mean if you think you’d be able to handle it. S’okay, I understand. Not everyone’s cut out for the hardcore thug life.”
:”Okay, what’s in it for us?”

Hijack an ice cream truck!

M:”Free ice cream. All you can eat ice cream.”


M:“ Also money, respect, and prostitutes.”



BT:”Good afternoon kids. What can I do for…”


BT:”Oh…”


M:”It’s you. Who fired you now?”
BT:”Look kid, do you want ice cream or not?”


BT:”What are you doing?”




M:”Ok future underlings, what can I get you?”
BT:”Woah, woah. What are you doing?”


M:”Hey Mister, don’t get mad at me because you’re terrible at everything and Alex’s hot sister doesn’t love you. And could you put me down? I’m trying to hijack your truck.”



:”Are you ok?”

Jump up! You can't look uncool in front of potential gang and/or rival gang members! CHASE AFTER THE TRUUUUCK

>This is totally what was supposed to happen all along. Definitely.

Tell them that OTHER GANG has a PROTECTION RACKET going with the ice cream man and that their goons threw you out. ARE YOU GUYS GONNA STAND FOR THAT

You have LOOT!

MISSION SUCCESS.

Now check on your other gang members. YOU HAVE A REPUTATION TO CREATE

Jump up! You can't look uncool in front of potential gang and/or rival gang members! CHASE AFTER THE TRUUUUCK

Oh no. That truck is gone.

>This is totally what was supposed to happen all along. Definitely.

Of course your plan worked!


M:“Look at this.”
:”You swiped the ice cream man’s wallet? Impressive.”
M:”Now let’s take a look inside!”

Tell them that OTHER GANG has a PROTECTION RACKET going with the ice cream man and that their goons threw you out. ARE YOU GUYS GONNA STAND FOR THAT

M:”And it looks like his wallet’s been scrubbed’a any incriminatin’ evidence.”


:”And how credible are your sources?”
M:”What?”
:”How do I know you’re not just full of bull?”
M:”I am not full of bull! I just know people.”
:”People?”


M:”That’s Lions only business.”
:”You aren’t as dumb as you look.”
M:”Listen, my gang has a no buttholes policy.”





:”If that’s the case, my sister would like to know how all of you poop then. Let’s cut the chase. We’re not joining any gangs. We stay neutral, and deal secrets to all sides.”
M:”So you’re snitches?”
:”My sister goes by ‘B. Lye’ and you should call me ‘Inform’, Miss if you would. And we prefer the term Information Brokers.”
M:“Snobby snitches.”


Miss I:”We don’t have to trust each other or like each other, but you’re going to come to realize that you pretty much need me if you want to get ahead of TRUANCY from the other one street over. One morning and they’ve already got a monopoly on the addictive, mood altering substances market. But look, I don't mind alliances of convenience. Rest assured, that is what this is, a completely platonic proposal. If it weren't it'd be completely unprofessional anyways so...”
B Lye:”She’s not here anymore.”
Miss I:”Oh…”

Elsewhere, the fearless and handsome leader of the Rapsca Lions confronts her newfound rival.


--:”Look Pipsqueak, all transactions go through Swiss Army Knife and Honey Badger first. Nobody gets to see the boss.”


M:”I’d make an exception if I were you.”
--:”And who do you think you are coming here and makin’ demands of me on my own very turf?”
M:”Well, if you’re lucky, someone you might have the privilege of calling Boss someday.”



SAK: Boss, you don’t have to do this.
--:”Get off, Swiss.”
--:”You. What do you want?”

> Organize an extreme bike stunts tournament

M:”Middle Street. After dinner. Winner takes loser’s turf.”
--:”Sounds good. Mind if we drum up a little interest at the playground?”
M:”Not at all. Good luck finding kids who don’t already support the Rapsca Lions.”
--:”Psh. Good luck finding kids who we haven’t already paid off with candy.”

You have LOOT!

MISSION SUCCESS.

Now check on your other gang members. YOU HAVE A REPUTATION TO CREATE

J:”Where have you been?”
M:”Hijacking trucks, flirting with traiter-tro-tor”
J:”Traitorous?”
M:”Femme fatales and instigating conflict with a rival gang.”


M:”Where did that come from?”
D:”Found it.”
M:”Oh yeah, extreme bike stunts tournament after dinner. Be there or get kicked out of the gang.”
A:”So if I don’t show up I don’t have to play this dumb game anymore?”
J:”You’re funny.”

Alright, so you’ve successfully ACQUIRED A MACOT and STARTED A MOTHERFLIPPIN’ GANG WAR.
The Rapsca Lions have leveled up.

LVL 1: A Dozen Eggs and a Half Pound of Bacon


J:”Seriously?”
M:”Not all of us got to eat lunch ok.”
J:*dramatic sigh*”I’ll fix it.”



LVL 1: The THUGINNATORS
M:”It’s acceptable.”



Time to go raise some heck.

Find your bikes.

> Bikes: be broken

Bikes: Be missing training wheels.

Which parent named their girl Melchior?

Don't forget your elbow and wrist pads!

Look for some even bigger sunglasses

>Sabotage opposition's bikes

Show Content

Spoiler

Which parent named their girl Melchior?

Then they both agreed to keep the name.

Look for some even bigger sunglasses

Ok, now this is just getting silly.

Find your bikes.

Don't forget your elbow and wrist pads!

SAFETY


FIRST!

The Rapsca Lions split up to retrieve their sweet rides and are met with sights most unfortunate.

> Bikes: be broken

A scream is heard from all the way up the street as the scourge of the suburbs comes face to face with true horror.


Who would do something this hay-ness (“Heinous”. “Thank you”.)? To six year olds none the less!

And why?

Bikes: Be missing training wheels.

SABOTEURS

Truancy must've sent out their damn grease monkeys as soon as you left. They probably expect a no-show or a forfeit. They probably don't expect you to ride in on two wheels like a kid twice your age. Best show those washed-up punks how Rapsca Lions do things.

> It's time to grow up, let your wings spread.

> It's okay, man. Just have one of you ride the bike while the other one runs alongside it and holds it steady.