Could It Be Magic

You are Xanthor S'jverk, Novice Wizard of the Occulded Thaumagon and you are fed up. You got into magic as a way to meet sexy supernatural ladies, though unfortunately to date you have not got any of that action.

Tonight will be the latest in a long line of nights spent in pursuit of a solution to that problem. You have decided that tonight you come home with a beautiful lady by your side or you do not come home at all.

Your taxi will be here in a couple of minutes; just enough time to make any preparations you might need to make before your night on the town.

>

> Make sure you've got the fat stacks to get dat macks.

>Summon up a wingman.

Carefully store your robe and wizard hat in your magicventory so you can whip them out at some memetically appropriate time in the future

Fill all your spell slots with every variant of "Charm Person" you can fit. Except for that one that you keep reserved for Fireball.

You never know when you're going to need to incinerate something.

>Memorize that male enhancement spell, quick!

Magic isn't everything! Is your hair gel sufficient?

Scope dat calendar.

Make sure you are COVERED in Warhammer Body Spray. The ladies dig it, or so the advertisements say.

>Memorize that male enhancement spell, quick!

Fill all your spell slots with every variant of "Charm Person" you can fit.

Of course your magic is a large part of your allure and you would never dream of heading out on the town without being properly prepared. You retrieve your mana focus orb. It’s only a beginner’s mana focus orb so it can only contain three spells at a time; as far as you are concerned nobody needs to know that.

Your spellventory currently consists of:

• Summon Wingman,
  
• Charm Animal (the closest you could get to a Charm Person spell at this level of magic)
  
• and ERROR! UNKNOWN SPELL! (your spellventory is unable to appropriately display the unofficial spell you purchased from the Aetheral black market. The guy who sold it you promised it would make your eventual sexual encounter unforgettable)
  

>Summon up a wingman.

You should probably discuss your tactics with your wingman. Only a fool goes out unprepared, right?





“Hey-”



Dang.

For some reason these wingmen never seem all that amenable to helping you do anything. There is a crash in the distance, that you opt to worry about when you don’t have better things to be doing.

Carefully store your robe and wizard hat in your magicventory so you can whip them out at some memetically appropriate time in the future

You opt to wear them instead. How else will everyone know how much of an awesome wizard you are?

Magic isn't everything! Is your hair gel sufficient?

Make sure you are COVERED in Warhammer Body Spray. The ladies dig it, or so the advertisements say.

You are as ready as you're ever going to be, and just in time. A honk from outside indicates the arrival of your taxi. Yet you still need to decide where you are going to go.



You conjure up a mental map of the city, representing yourself with a flashing green cross and known bars with indigo cirles. Closest to you is your local named TONICS. You feel you have probably struck out here enough times that it isn't really worth trying. Near the aurean campus of Atrim Thaumaturgical College is a bar called ONE TWENTY SIX. You went there once and honestly there's some hot supernatural chicks, but you're going to have to step up your magic if you want to impress them.

You haven't been to any of the other bars before, but you know a little about them:

• In the gaudy Aetheral Plaza there is a futuristic neon-chrome bar called NETHER. If you're looking to score an Aetheral babe this is your only option, they rarely venture beyond their own district.
  
• Just off the coast in the Reef District there is a bar that is better known as "THE MERMAID". It's very exclusive but the only place that aquatic babes can actually get to.
  
• On the far east of the waterfront there is a bar called FAERIES. Again you've never been but from what you've heard it's mostly women. A potentially untapped market so to speak.
  
• Nearby, on the edge of the Hive District, is a bar rather creatively named BAR. You aren't really sure what it's deal is. Most people who talk about it just gush about how great it is without giving away any real details.
  
• Near the East Gate, next to the Gnomish Embassy is ALFHEIM. It has a reputation for being a little rowdy, on particuarly good nights you can hear the drunken singing from your apartment.
  
• In the Swamp District there is a seedy little tavern called MURK. Apparently it's a dingy shack in an unpleasant neighbourhood and nobody is particuarly friendly, but you aren't the kind of guy who would normally let that stop you. Besides swamp maidens and naga seldom venture anywhere else.
  
• In the Freezer District on the south wall is a bar called DRIFT. Due to the artificially created climate and most of the freezer district's inability to survive outside of it, you're given to understand they are quite receptive to new faces. That said you don't know how long you could withstand the blistering cold.
  
• In the Woods District there is THE SOCIAL GARDEN. The lame name is typical of the dryads, most of whom are so fixated upon nature that they are pretty much disconnected from their humanity. Honestly this would be something of a challenge even for you.
  
• In the Industrial District there is THE WORKSHOP. This place is usually filled to the brim with exhausted workers and golems just looking to blow off some steam to the thumping beats. The party rarely, if ever, stops.
  
• In the Fire District there is a club called INFERNO. People don't really talk about this place so much.
  
• Amongst the dismal alleyways of the Undead District there is a bar called LAST ORDERS. From what you've heard it is actually rather surprisingly refined. This is where all the undead babes go to relax, and as you've learnt from popular culture, the undead babes are the sexiest.
  
• OASIS can hardly really be called a bar, it is perhaps better described as a perpetual beach party. It has a very laid back attitude and there is no better place to meet wraiths.
  
• Out of town in the small village of OAKDEN there is a bar called THE COUNT'S ARMS. The main advantage of trekking out here is that they're more likely to be impressed by your mastery of magic. The main downside is that it takes a while, you'll have less time available for other bars if you strike out.
  

>

Start off with MURK and the LAST ORDERS to get into gear. If that goes well, you can try OASIS and BAR.

You should probably wear sunglasses.

---

It might also be wise to prepare an extra spell, since your wingman ran off like an asshole.

Ooooh, parties are always nice places to jump in. THE WORKSHOP, or if you think you can avoid sand from getting into everything, OASIS, seem like a good start! If you're feeling up to it, maybe NETHER's worth a shot as well (because come on, aether). :3

Call up your bro Dante, of the Fire District. Maybe he can tell you more about his local joint?

Go to the BAR bar

>Hey, maybe the taxi driver is a lady! That could save you loads of time!