A Good Adventure

You are a GOOD up for sale.

What kind of GOOD are you?

An apple

A gelatinous replica of the fourth letter of the English alphabet

An outdated computer who has learned to love.

You don't know but you know that any enterprising merchant will be able to sell you with alacrity, such as JOHNATHAN GOODE.

That's right, you're an outdated computer made out of apple-flavored gelatin and shaped into the letter D, and you have learned to love.

Specifically, you have learned to love being used for your proper function, and being owned by a caring user. And look! A customer has just walked in. How will you catch their eye?

With a baseball glove

You're a gelatinous D. I think just jiggling a bit should be enough.

Throw little D shaped floppy disks at them

Throw yourself at them! At their face!

You jiggle and jiggle, but the customer just knocks over your table and then starts poking around in a supply closet. You suppose he wants something else. Maybe he doesn't like apples.

Well, you suppose you can try to satisfy him anyway; maybe then he'll tell his friends about you and get one of them to buy you! You quickly hack into the store's computerized Toss-O-Matic system and take control.

Given his obvious physical aptitude, this customer probably appreciates sports, so you toss a baseball glove towards him. Surely this will be exactly what he's looking for!

Customer: Be the dirty baseball-hating communist.