RWC Humiliation Station 2011 (HERE COMES THE DEBT COLLECTOR)

Then it'll be even more of a challenge!

Vote: Lamp-posts (Lampposts? Lamposts?)

Lamp post it is

There is not enough lamp-post hate on Eagle Time yet. I mean, I get that you hate lamp-posts but I'm not really feeling it, y'know?

I vote lamp posts.

PROPOSED NEW BANNER:

SUP BITCHES Plaid most graciously filmed me running around the botanic gardens yesterday beating up things which might've been gazebos.


So. Our story begins with this thing I call the "Peach Bell." It's a large, metal Japanese bell which was gifted from a sister city of Christchurch's or something. The pagodagazebo in which it resides has tiled rocks around it, with "peace" embedded on there in various different languages. One particular tile (I forget which) has had an error in translation, so the word for "peach" instead of "peace" is inscribed in one language. Hence, the Peach Bell (promoting World Peach, presumably.)




Frolicking through a field of daffodils


SPROING
TAKE THAT, SUNDIAL

INTERMISSION

SO MANY OF THESE FLUFFY BUMBLEBIRDS ALL OVER THE GARDENS


Some megarude gentleman reckoned this was the "most rubbish b-grade horror movie he'd ever seen." I would've chased him with my axe but instead offered him a job in post-production, which was where the real curdling of blood would go down.


Summarily rejected, I took out my frustrations on a road cone.


Mission success!

Awesomeness

wow this is the best thing.

It's not done yeeeet

When the post's got "Ok that's my debt done now it's time for you schmucks to pony up" that's when I'm done.

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SpoilerBut thaaaaaaaaaank you, Plaid and I had a fun afternoon <3

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I could stare a this gif all day.


Also I'm glad you hit no lamp posts Schazer (unless that huge flower is a secret lamp post?) because after some very intense soul-searching I have discovered they're actually pretty okay.



Actually no, not really. Lampposts are still terrible.

But hey I'm halfway through my essay at least! Please don't hit me schazer

A man once had a business and a life,
A wife, a dog, a house, a picket fence.
but in futility enveloped, thence
he never noticed that he long since died.

Every day he took the bus to town,
(the car just wouldn't start at his behest)
his colleagues had ignored him like a pest,
their impoliteness always brought him down.

But once upon a time a man said hi.
"I think I am invisible," he said.
The man just sighed, and whispered "so do I."

"No surprise, the businessman is always living dead."
The man then realised his neverending lie.
He only lived because of his pretense.

I am pretty sure minimalism and comedy are direct opposites, but HERE IT IS :OOOOOO
I was gonna do a sonnet chain but then I read "the fifteenth sonnet may only have lines you already wrote in the other ones and they still have to rhyme" and I was all nooooooooooope

It's even better if you listen to this while you're looking at them.

Fuckin' finally



My lovely lamp-post

There are things in the world that spend their days undeservingly ignored, disrespected, and sometimes even outright hated. These are normally things that serve great purposes but whose abundance makes them seem trivial and unnecessary. It's one of those things I want to talk about here.

Lampposts.

At first glance it could seem that their mission is simple and unimportant. Even wasteful and uncomfortable to some. After all, all they do is stand there lighting the streets even when most of the time those streets are empty.

This is, from my experience, the general opinion on lampposts, and while it might seem reasonable, it is deeply and fundamentally wrong for one single reason. It fails to account the cumulative effect of lampposts.

Nowadays, every city in the world is full of lampposts readily available to whoever happens to walk their streets after dusk, and every road is perpetually illuminated. This worldwide grid of lampposts means one simple thing, that night doesn't matter anymore. It means that you can go for a walk and read a book in a park at 3 AM if you want to. Night is not anymore that huge chunk of time during which the whole humanity is rendered useless by a simple lack of light.

Lampposts are, without exaggeration, humanity's conquest over time itself. We may be very far from conquering any non-trivial amount of space, but there's not a single second that we don't have control over. That's all because lampposts are there for us but it seems to me that nobody realizes how incredibly important this is. It's like lampposts are so ingrained in today's world that it's neurologically impossible for people to imagine what living without them would be like.

Well I can tell you, and it's not pretty. Night would be once again surrounded by an aura of uncertainty, insecurity and plain old fear. We'd have to actually get ready for it. We'd have to plan for it, and worry about improper planning.

Each day of our lives we'd be submerged in a darkness bigger than all of us and which we can't control. We'd have to face our limits every day, and we'd be doomed to fail every time.

I don't know about you, but I could not live in a hopeless world like that.

In conclusion, lampposts are a basic pillar of our society

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SpoilerPhew that was hard.

I didn't only have to transcend the limits of my body to overcome the physical nausea lampposts cause me, but I also had to abandon my very soul in order to get rid of the lamppost hate that lies in its core.

Also writing in english is not the easiest thing either.

But it was fun!

This is the best thread