Murphy's Law

Sure would be bad if the quake caused the knife to fly up and embed in your face, cutting the ropes in the process.

Oh man it would be really lame if one of those EXPLODE agents was your ex-girlfriend. How awkward would that be?

Well, your chair could be a secret agent of yet another secret agency that has been spying on you!

It would suck if you were the next thing to catch fire.

It would suck if you were the next thing to catch fire.

And now you're on fire. Great. On the plus side, it makes the ropes burn rather fast, letting you break out. But you're still on fire, which you probably want to do something about.

"Somebody extinguish him, you fools!" the trenchcoated man shouts. "If he burns to death, we may not be able to retrieve his brain!"

An EXPLODE agent quickly grabs a fire extinguisher and sprays you with it. Hey, this actually worked out after all! Well, except for the part that the EXPLODE agent is holding you down now, and the guy in the trenchcoat is getting up and grabbing his knife.

You're in a tight spot. Your only chance is to make it worse.

Oh man it would be really lame if one of those EXPLODE agents was your ex-girlfriend. How awkward would that be?

"We definitely cannot waste any more time," the trenchcoated man says as he comes closer. "As long as he remains conscious, he is a threat. We should remove his brain as soon as possible."

You strain your brain for a way to make this worse that doesn't involve you dying even sooner, but it's hard. All you can think of is that it would be so much worse in every way if your ex-girlfriend were here.

And then, suddenly, the agent restraining you punches the trenchcoated man in the face. Before you can process exactly what's happening, you're being dragged down the hall. The other EXPLODE agents start chasing you, but they're soon preoccupied dealing with the federal agents.

A few minutes later, you're dragged into an empty office. The EXPLODE agent locks the door, turns towards you, and takes off his mask...

Oh. Or her mask. It's your ex-girlfriend.

"Hello, Murphy," she says angrily. "I couldn't let Von Trenchcoat kill you, because frankly, you deserve far worse after what you did to me."

You're about to say something, but then the desk bursts into flames. Looks like she's also the agent who you gave latent pyrokinetic abilities to.

So, to review, the world's going to be destroyed in 24 hours, you're being hunted by both federal agents and the terrorists who are going to destroy the world, and you're currently stripped down to your underwear, badly burned, covered in fire extinguisher foam, and locked in an office with your crazed ex-girlfriend who has a gun and can set things on fire with her mind.

How can this possibly get any worse?

what a terrible time to be aroused!

Ugh. She's not still dating Steve is she? She would never shut up about him. Sure he's a nice guy and makes lots of money but the last thing you need right now is to be lectured on how inferior you are to your brother.

She could be working with her mother, who also blames you for dumping her.

At least anklebreaker isn't about to smash through the wall

The rest of the building might explode, flinging you both into the distance.

She could be crying.

Ugh. She's not still dating Steve is she? She would never shut up about him. Sure he's a nice guy and makes lots of money but the last thing you need right now is to be lectured on how inferior you are to your brother.

You really can't stand being around your ex. But it's even worse if she starts talking about your brother Steve, yeah, that would be just excruciating.

"You never had Steve's charm, Murphy. Or his good looks. Or his work ethic, his intelligence, his muscles..."

Ugh, you may have made a terrible mistake here. It's buying you time, but man is it excruciating. Better use the time you've got well.

At least anklebreaker isn't about to smash through the wall

Your mind suddenly wanders to the interrogation specialist "Anklebreaker". Man, it sure would be unpleasant if he were here, too. And strong enough to break through a wall...

CRASH!

The Anklebreaker bursts in... and you recognize him. It's Steve! What the hell, how did he get a job here?

"Murphy!" he growls. "How could you join up with a terrorist group? Mom would be so disappointed... Wait, Lisa? What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like an EXPLODE agent?"

He gasps.

"Are you cheating on me?"

Well, that's just great. You're in a regular soap opera here. How can this get any worse?

She could be crying.

Well, Lisa could break down in tears. You remember that she becomes really unbearable when she's crying.

"You just don't understand, Steve! Your job was keeping you away from me too long! I joined EXPLODE so I could blow up the government and then you'd be free!"

"But Lisa, I... Now hold on a minute here! I love you, Lisa, but I have a job to do. If you're with EXPLODE, I have to arrest you. And I've still got business with my brother there."

"YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

Great, that whining's probably drawn the attention of everyone in the building, and there's a lot of people in this building who you don't want getting their hands on you.

How can this possibly get any worse?

Wait...then which one of you is the evil twin brother?

Good thing Steve isn't in possession of secret government technology which can transport it's targets back in time, but only to important sounding but historically meaningless events.

It's probably for the best if the floor doesn't collapse underneath you.