The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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EDIT SEP. 28, 2020.  This adventure is not dead.  I still update once a week, usually on Wednesday.  Photobucket made some bad business decisions and I had to delete a lot of images to comply with the new limits they imposed.  I tried to keep the best & most important ones, but ultimately had to sacrifice more than I wanted to.  Missing images therefore are ones that I chose to remove, albeit under duress.
The entire story with pictures is archived at https://adleryoung.tumblr.com and in March 2018 I stopped using Photobucket and began mirroring new posts on https://www.patreon.com/tegerio so there are currently three places to read the Ballad, two of which have illustrations.

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The recap, which is rescued & reconstructed from the MSPA crash, can be found at https://adleryoung.tumblr.com  (Fuma help you if you've not been keeping up, because now you have a LOT of reading to do.)  I decided to put it there before I found Eagle-Time, and Tumblr made more sense anyway because there wasn't any need for forum commands during the re-telling of the already extant story.  BUT NOW we are all caught up and it's time to start running this thing properly.

What follows is the final update which I tried to post on March 28, 2016, right around when the MSPA Forum exploded.  A lucky thing I had started saving updates on my own computer a few months earlier, so I have this archived.  You are seeing it pretty much as it would have appeared, with quoted reader commands and everything.  The only thing different is that I changed the narrative voice to 1st-person past tense .. which had been my original intention, but forum readers did not respond well to it when I started, so I had to adopt the conventional 2nd-person voice.  Hopefully now that the story is well established, readers can accept Adler telling it without him being "you."

ANYHOW, enough blather, here's the adventure post:

Adler: Return to your office and bemoan the fact that trouble is always two steps behind you. The knowledge that the Sisterhood had given you still weighing heavily on your mind.
Have you actually essayed to see if the Sisterhoods claims of Estmere's un-elf-dom are accurate? You're basically involved in high treason against your king and brother, whom you clearly love, and at least appear to like. Doesn't it make sense to, err... check their work?

As I trudged back toward my office, I sighed heavily and pondered the current situation.  Much against my will, it seemed that the Sisterhood had involved me at the heart of a treasonous plot to overthrow the rightful King.  Their argument that Estmere was not really the rightful King of Faerie sounded only half-plausible ... Elves do not lie, so it must be true ... but still I didn't feel entirely convinced.

Adler > gramerye estmere somehow with out changing him from a skunk, so he's compatible with ungulates

If it were possible to solve this problem with simple, straightforward Magicks, then surely I - or someone - would have done so by now.

If only I knew where Estvan Silverbrush was at the moment.  He would know whether something like this had any chance of working, and he would have the power to pull it off, too.

Adler > You cannot help but feel that the Vulpitanians might be in the know of the sisterhood manipulation and may do something the sisterhood haven't planned on.

Even if I agreed with the Sisterhood's goals and opinions (which I didn't .. not completely) it seemed extremely chancy to rely on Vulpitanians as such a key component of the plan.  The foxes would ever have their own secret agenda, and it seemed clear to me that they could not be trusted.

Adler > start thinking about preparing a evacuation procedure for everyone. you might need ravenmad to guide everyone out via the fae gates if he knows any

I briefly indulged in fantasies of skipping out of town and leaving this whole mess behind.  As justification for these thoughts, I wondered about the possibility of mass evacuation of Albric Tor.  Such action wouldn't really be necessary though - not unless Winter were to come unexpectedly.

>Everyone immediately accuse each other of being der Hand of der King.
(HSH Prince Adler) Look deeply alarmed, once you enter your office

I arrived at my office to behold Ambassador Chesswick glowering at me, and Mara pointing at me casually.

"There's the Hand of the King," Mara said.  "Right there.  Him."

"I need ein reqvisition form to get some Vulpitanian property out of detention," SALV Chesswick informed me.

"All right, all right," I grumbled as I circled around my desk.

Adler > See the thing in your office that is the scuti and ixie. Be in a mixture of amazement and horror! Demand your daughter ixie released!
Scuti&ixie > mock adler by playing the ixie like a kazoo *ppfffffftttt*
(Mara) Scold the Scuti for talking with its mouth full.

I leaned over to open a desk drawer when I noticed one of my Ixies standing there, with a huge fluffy white ... tail?? ... attached to her tiny derriere.

"GREAT FUMA'S WHISKERS!" I exclaimed, as the horror of what I was seeing sank in.  "What have you done to that poor Ixie??  Release her at once!"

The Ixie merely stood in a sassy posture, stuck out her tongue, and blew a tiny, high-pitched raspberry in my direction.

"The same rude and insolent creature as ever," Mara remarked.  "It ought to be ashamed, but I can assure you, it isn't."

(HSH Prince Adler) Realize that you haven't seen the exotic and beautiful antelope femme you helped Estmere rescue.
oh yeah and the queen

0328ohsister.gif

"Sire, I bear strange news for thee," another Ixie whispered to me via Elfmind.  "Minister Lynne hath found out something regarding Her Majesty -"

"GREAT AUK AND MIGHTY TEG!!!" she continued, aloud, upon seeing her sister ensconced on the Scuti's snout.

Ixie, try resisting the scuti, with moderate success.

The second Ixie attacked the Scuti with crackling electrical Magick, whereupon it released the first Ixie.  The two of them then started buzzing angrily around the fluffy creature, zapping it mercilessly while it cringed on the desktop and emitted a miserable high-pitched keening sound.

"HEY!" I shouted.  "STOP THAT!  I need the Scuti unharmed!  QUIT IT!  There will be unpleasant repercussions if you don't knock it off!!  CEASE!  DESIST!  That's an order!"

The Ixies flitted out the window, leaving the Scuti on my desk.  Grayish smoke rose from its fur.  I assumed it was still alive because it was emitting ragged, wheezing breaths.  I was tempted to examine it but I wouldn't have known what to look for.

(Mara) Demand that Prince Adler fulfill his agreement to pay you. NOW.

"Ahem," SALV Chesswick coughed, stepping forward with her hand outstretched.  "Der papers, please."

"Mmmrrr," Mara purred, nuzzling up next to me.  "Time to give me the reward you promised, since I was a good girl and came straight back here to your office."

> You have the reward, or some explanation of where it is, no?

>Slap Mara in the face

I'm glad this is back!

I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of the first person narration but meh, makes sense enough and doesn't change the adventure radicaly, should get used to it soon enough.

> You have the reward, or some explanation of where it is, no?

(If you read the updates a bit before, the "reward" Mara wants is Adler's 'magic touch' (basicaly an orgasmic nerve pinch ... yes that's a thing he can do, it makes sense in context.. I think) so y'know, Addler probably will want to wait untill the Vulpitian is dealt with first)

>Make a mental note to aquire some kind of magic ever resplenishing cold water bucket if Mara is going to hang around you much longer.

>Also feel maybe just a twinge of (fatherly ?) pride that your your ixie daughters are not to be messed with. (.. or is that worry ?)

(Also poor Lemmy gonna be devastated, again, poor guy can't catch a break.)

> Explain that one SALV Sweetcheeks asked to enter your service and that you'll grant her political asylium so ner ner ner, no papers.

>The ixie was going to tell alder that the queen is pregnant. Which is probably better adler isnt told that right now

Slav chesswick > Give mara the pimp hand

>These troubles heaped upon you are too troublesome. Loudly declare to the gullible fools of your intentions to leave on a brief sabbatical.

>Sign the papers so you get the Vulpitanian off your back
>Zap Mara, while she's stunned let the scuti ride her again so you get her off your back

Haha it continues!

> Adler: Handle those papers with care and diligence.
> SALV Chesswick: Wait while the prince checks each paper with stiff insulted dignity
> Mara: Wait while the prince checks each paper with loud petulant whining


Hurray! It's back.

Control, we have adventure!
Seriously, I can't wait how the various plots will unfold.

Scuti, be seriously damaged by the assault. SALV Chesswick, be the only one to realize that.
Requisition forms, be stored in the drawer where the Scuti and the Ixie were. Be destroyed.

(Also poor Lemmy gonna be devastated, again, poor guy can't catch a break.)

If I'm not mistaken, Lemmy is currently chilling in the Antglade with Salmonella and their children.

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If you see a few commands you don't recognize, those came from readers on Tumblr.

You have the reward, or some explanation of where it is, no?
the "reward" Mara wants is Adler's 'magic touch' (basicaly an orgasmic nerve pinch)

"Ahem," SALV Chesswick coughed imperiously.  "I have important business mit der Hand of der King.  Vhatever floozie type schtuff you are up to can vait until after."
"Shove off, vixen," Mara sneered.  "I had dibs on him first, and he promised me."

>Slap Mara in the face
Slav chesswick > Give mara the pimp hand
>These troubles heaped upon you are too troublesome. Loudly declare to the gullible fools of your intentions to leave on a brief sabbatical.
(Mara) Be extremely impatient for your reward.

"I varn you, opossum," SALV Chesswick snarled.  "You are hamperink der movements of ein representative of der Vulpitanian Republic!  Do you even know who you are messink mit?  If you continue mit der insolence, zen I vill not hesitate to giff you der back of mine handt!"
"I'd like to see you try it," Mara growled back.  "You wanna see which of us is more Unseelie?  Bring it on, tough girl."
"Both of you cut it out," I grumbled.  "I won't have a Diplomatic Incident break out in my office.  For Fuma's sakes!  All the things I have to deal with .. I really need a vacation."
"Not til I get my reward!" Mara insisted.
"Not til I get mine reqvisition!" the SALV demanded.

... so y'know, Addler probably will want to wait untill the Vulpitian is dealt with first

"I'm going to have to take care of the Ambassador's business first," I told Mara.
"WHY??" she inquired angrily.  "That's not fair!"
"Do you want to do that right in front of her?" I asked.
"WHY NOT?" Mara demanded, skeptically.
"Well, I don't want her to see it," I insisted, then added in a whisper, "It's a secret."
"Oh fine then," Mara grumped.  "But don't take too long."

>Sign the papers so you get the Vulpitanian off your back
> Adler: Handle those papers with care and diligence.
> SALV Chesswick: Wait while the prince checks each paper with stiff insulted dignity
> Mara: Wait while the prince checks each paper with loud petulant whining
Scuti, be seriously damaged by the assault. SALV Chesswick, be the only one to realize that.
Requisition forms, be stored in the drawer where the Scuti and the Ixie were. Be destroyed.
(Scuti) Wimper. Keen. Look miserable.
(HRH Prince Adler) With rather poor grace, fill out the requisition forms.

I put on my Hand hat since this was Official Business, and opened the desk drawer to get the forms.  A puff of smoke came rolling out.
"That's not a good sign," I muttered.
The Scuti on the desk coughed and whimpered quietly.
"Zat Scuti is in rough shape," the Ambassador observed.  "Mitout ein host it vill probably die soon."

>Also feel maybe just a twinge of (fatherly ?) pride that your your ixie daughters are not to be messed with. (.. or is that worry ?)

I was secretly a bit pleased that my daughters were able to defend themselves so effectively against the horrible tail-parasite .. but then again, it demonstrated rather disturbingly how powerful the Ixies were, especially in numbers.  A whole swarm of them might be very dangerous.  I also realized, with a twinge of worry, that the loss of Alice Chetsweek's friend-mate would probably put an end to any alliance we might have been able to form.
"I guess you know a few things about these creatures," I theorized, as I rummaged in the drawer.
"I am not sure I like your insinuation," SALV Chesswick sniffed.  "Have you found der forms yet?"
"Yeah, hurry up," Mara added.
"I'm afraid the forms are all charred to ash," I informed them.
"You'd better not me givink me der Bureaucratic Runaroundt," the Ambassador remarked tartly.  "Ve Vulpitanians INVENTED der Bureaucratic Runaroundt.  It is ein cheap trick und I vill not fall for it."
"No, no, not at all," I reassured her.  "The forms are actually burned up .. but fret not.  Here, take this clipboard and write out a detailed description of the item you wish to requisition, along with its location if you know where it is being held.  And would you mind going out in the hall while you do that?  I need to, er, provide some compensation for my underling here."
"Disgustink," the SALV snarled as she took the clipboard from me and strode out the door.  "I vill be just outside, so no sneakink avay or anyting like zat."
"I promise we will remain right here in this office til you return," I promised.

>Zap Mara

Mara emitted an inarticulate moan of pleasure as I applied the Orgasmic Touch.  With a satisfied sigh she slowly sank to the floor, where she curled up on her side and immediately fell asleep.

>Make a mental note to aquire some kind of magic ever resplenishing cold water bucket if Mara is going to hang around you much longer.
while she's stunned let the scuti ride her again so you get her off your back
Wamified scuti:  share Maras reward

I felt horrible about what I had to do next, but I could see no other option.



I carefully picked up the injured Scuti from the desk and knelt next to Mara.  I located the tail hole in her dress and .. steeling my nerves, I thrust the Scuti's head into the opening.  The animal squirmed nauseatingly for a second or two, and then seemed to latch on.  Mara sighed quietly and kept on sleeping.
I jumped up nervously as SALV Chesswick stepped back into the room.
"I don't zink I vant to know vhat you vere doink," she muttered suspiciously.  "Here is mine reqvisition reqvest.  I zink you vill find it is in order."
I glanced over it.

> Explain that one SALV Sweetcheeks asked to enter your service and that you'll grant her political asylium so ner ner ner, no papers.

"Oh," I said reluctantly.  "I'm afraid I can't release the body of Alice Chetsweeks."

0827snarly.gif

"ZAT IS VULPITANIAN PROPERTY UND YOU VILL HAND IT OVER IMMEDIATELY!" the Ambassador barked.
"It is a Vulpitanian defector who has applied for political asylum," I countered.
"It is ein mechanical device, vhich is not hers to keep!" SALV Chesswick growled.  "If der Scuti vants to betray us, fine, so be it, but she does not get to keep der VERY EXPENSIVE vehicle built for her by der state!"
"Are you prepared to admit then, that the Republic has built a lifelike automaton?" I asked, leadingly.  "A type of mechano-thaumaturgy which was prohibited in a decree issued by my grandfather, King Adler the Prudent?"
"Der mech body is not autonomous, und does not violate der letter of der statute," the SALV snapped.  "Kindly do not be schtupid enough to try to finagle der law mit ein Vulpitanian.  Just HANDT OVER VHAT BELONKS TO US, OR ELSE!"

Adler: Try Wiles on the Ambassador

I'm not sure what came over me, but suddenly I had had enough of this.  And I knew how to make it stop.



"I'll thank you to moderate your tone when addressing me," I muttered quietly as I reached up and applied Orgasmic Touch to Ambassador Chesswick.
"Ach du lieber," she gasped as she tottered, swooning.
I reached out and caught her under the arm, so she wouldn't fall and hurt herself.

(Avogadro) Butt in at an extremely awkward moment. Make awkward references to famous Skirt-Chasers of the past.

"Oh my," Sergeant Avogadro exclaimed from the doorway as he surveyed the scene.  "You certainly are a descendant of Sartorius, and your brother's brother, aren't you, Your Highness?  Should I come back later?"
"Fuma in Himmel," SALV Chesswick sighed sleepily.  "Zat vas WUNDERBAR!"

Adler > Tell sergeant avogadro to pay no mind of the blissfully passed out ladies around him. Ask him what what he has to report? (also be careful of the wet floor)

SALV chesswick is now addicted to (HRH Prince) Adler. Adler wonders if he's applying the touch right. Should they be getting addicted to him??

>How much trouble would you be in if you simply had everyone who inconvenienced you executed? If you gave Sergeant Avogadro a set of horns, he'd look very scapegoat-ish. Just saying.

SALV chesswick is now addicted to (HRH Prince)

>SALV Chesswick: From now on plot to kidnap HRH Adler Young for your personal use.

Did SALV Silverbrush see adler use the touch through the scrying orb? or did it eerily malfunction?

SALV Silverbrush, be shocked, appalled and fascinated and the same time. Run to help your aunt and ran into your mother and brother.
Strange things, start happening as soon as the two siblings come close together.

Adler, take a close look at the SALV in your arms. Find something unexpected. (And I take it that the buttons on her shirt are decorative? There doesn't appear to be anything they might hold together)

Avogadro, come to report that you found another costume tail just laying around on the floor somewhere.

White Scuti, be too weak to take control over Mara's body.

Alice, start getting hungry. Try to get the guards attention.
Guard, misunderstand Alice's attempts to get some attention.


Question for the author (or anyone else who might want to answer it):
If you were a SALV, what would you be?

> Alder: "This, uh, isn't what it looks like"

>Cheap Vulpitanian buttons, pop under the strain, slight though it may be.

>SALV Chesswick: Have rather outre tastes in undergarments.

>SALV Silverbrush: Misconstrue the situation.

>Agent Grainmaster: Understand the situation all too well.

Cheap Vulpitanian buttons> Ricochet around the room and Strike Sergeant Avogadro's face, Strike Agent Grainmaster's eye (where ever she maybe), Strike Cabinet Secretary Dodie O'Doe's bum

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If you were a SALV, what would you be?

I am the Supreme Architect & Lordly Vaticinator.

Adler > Tell sergeant avogadro to pay no mind of the blissfully passed out ladies around him.
> Alder: "This, uh, isn't what it looks like"

"This isn't what it seems," I stammered nervously.
"Really?" Avogadro questioned.  "It seems that you must have used some sort of arcane Irenaeid mojo to subdue and/or seduce two potentially dangerous Unseelie femmes."
"Oh.  Well, I suppose this could be what it seems, then," I acknowledged.  "Could you maybe not mention this to anyone?"
"I vill keep your secret only if you agree to use it on me again," SALV Chesswick whispered dreamily.

Adler, take a close look at the SALV in your arms. Find something unexpected.

0903qvitenice.gif

I looked closely at the Ambassador as she raised her head and regarded me with a blissfully scheming expression.  Hmm.  I realized that without the monocle, she would actually be quite pretty ...

SALV chesswick is now addicted to (HRH Prince) Adler. Adler wonders if he's applying the touch right. Should they be getting addicted to him??
SALV Chesswick: From now on plot to kidnap HRH Adler Young for your personal use.
>How much trouble would you be in if you simply had everyone who inconvenienced you executed?

"I vill reqvire regular treatments," she explained with a sly grin.  "Und you vill accommodate me, if you do not vish it published abroad zat you know der forbidden Viles und Bodymagick techniques of Desiderata.  In fact, I zink it vould be best if you came mit me back to mine office, zo ve can discuss der matter in furzer detail."

Uh-oh.  This was not good.  I thought back over my Wiles training.  Sheila na Gig never mentioned the Orgasmic Touch having such a spellbinding, addictive effect.  Then again, she never recommended using it as a weapon in circumstances like these.  I must have done something wrong.  Blast it!  Instead of solving my problem, I only changed its nature - possibly even made it worse!

Back in the old days of Irenaeus' reign, I could have simply ordered the execution of anyone who inconvenienced me, but now of course that wouldn't do.  Elves had become too scarce to sacrifice wantonly, and besides; we needed to maintain diplomatic ties to Vulpitania.  I kept reminding myself that the two thaumaturgists, Nidab and Semos, were here at the personal invitation of the King.

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I take it that the buttons on her shirt are decorative? There doesn't appear to be anything they might hold together
>Cheap Vulpitanian buttons, pop under the strain, slight though it may be.
Cheap Vulpitanian buttons> Ricochet around the room and Strike Sergeant Avogadro's face, Strike Agent Grainmaster's eye (where ever she maybe), Strike Cabinet Secretary Dodie O'Doe's bum

"Zat is completely ridiculous.  Vulpitanian buttons are manufactured to der highest standarts of qvality!"

(Mara) After a brief, deeply refreshing nap, get up and find the Ambassador glomming on Adler.
(Mara) Fly into a mad, jealous rage.
(Ambassador) See the possum fly into a mad, jealous rage.
White Scuti, be too weak to take control over Mara's body.

While I was quickly wracking my mind for a way out of the SALV's clutches, and just about to decide on another application of the Touch, suddenly Mara Supial stirred and sat up.

"HEY!" she yelled, upon seeing the Ambassador and me in each other's arms.  "Hands off my Prince, you hussy!"

"You vant a piece of zis?" SALV Chesswick replied menacingly.

"A piece?  I'll take all of it, vixen," Mara growled.  "Bring it on."

With a snort and a loud gekker, the Ambassador let go of me and lunged toward the opossum.

(Mara and Ambassador) Femme-fight.
(Avogadro) Be very embarrassed, but gamely try to report.
(Adler) Be embarrassed, but also a bit excited by the fight.
Ask him what what he has to report?

0903amscray.gif

I quickly darted away from the scuffling femmes and shooed Sergeant Avogadro out the door into the hall.

"Trust me, you don't want to see this," I murmured urgently.

"Oh, I don't know, Your Highness," he replied.  "It does have certain academic interest.  A military elf can benefit from studying combat in all its forms..."

"OUT, Sergeant," I ordered.  "Deliver your report in the corridor.  What's this that you've found?"

Avogadro, come to report that you found another costume tail just laying around on the floor somewhere.

"Oh, yes, it's a false white skunk tail, very similar to the one I wore as part of my disguise earlier."

"Not the same one?" I asked, confused.

"It could be," Avogadro theorized.  "I found it on the floor near  the spot where the 'assassination' attempt took place."

"I'm going to use psychometry on it," I declared.  "Keep watch and don't let anyone interrupt me."



I held the tail and went into a visionary trance.  I got a quick glimpse of Queen Edessa, brandishing a dagger and stepping on the tail - and then, nothing.

"It was the Queen!" I exclaimed, still partly in a daze .

(Adler) Remember, just when it gets interesting, that ixies wanted to report.

0903ixreport.gif

"Yes, that is what I meant to tell thee, Sire, before that vile Tailipo interrupted," an Ixie declared as I came out of my trance.  "Minister Lynne learned that Her Majesty hath contracted Ixies to spy on thee, and wished me to inform thee of this immediately!"

"Uh ..." I replied intelligently.

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ELSEWHERE:

Did SALV Silverbrush see adler use the touch through the scrying orb? or did it eerily malfunction?
SALV Silverbrush, be shocked, appalled and fascinated and the same time incredibly bored.
Alice, start getting hungry. Try to get the guards attention.
Guard, misunderstand Alice's attempts to get some attention.

0903boredsalv.gif

"Fuma have mercy!" SALV Silverbrush sighed as she stared glumly into the scrying orb.  "I am getting  totally #sick_of_watching these guards poke @ teh Scuti jar.  When is Auntie Alberta coming back?  Its been like, WAY 2 long!  Something must've happened to her!  This waiting is teh pits; I'm going out & do something."

SALV Silverbrush carefully set the orb down in a nearby Scrying Stand, and scurried upstairs, out of the Vulpitanian Embassy.

Run to help your aunt and ran into your mother and brother.
>SALV Silverbrush: Misconstrue the situation

"YIKES!" SALV Sliverbrush yelped as she came to sudden halt outside.

"Cushlamochree!" Estvan called.  "Sure and there's me bonnie wee lass.  Come here and greet yer papa, macushla!"

"Hi there, Sofie," Yolanda chirped in motherly fashion.  "Oooh, don't you look CUTE in your little uniform!  So grown-up and dignified!  Doesn't your sister look cute, Boo-Boo?"

Adler> Be informed that you are using the touch wrong, as in say, rather then opening a carriage door courteously for an (elf) lady, you've blown up the whole carriage then throwing her into the smoldering orgasmic ashes. They are suppose to forget about 5 or more minutes prior the touch and not remember you being there

>Executing female elves? Slap yourself for even thinking that!

>Say, you could turn this to your advantage. The Ambassador dragging you off to her office could give you the perfect opportunity for some spying, or at the very least, a chance for some comedic mischievous pranks. Think of all the tacks, whoopee cushions, and buzzing noisemakers you could stash around her office. She'd be tiptoeing through a minefield for weeks.

>Tell the ixies to report to Edessa truthfully for the time being, she needs to trust them so you can feed her lies when it becomes crucial.
>Waitasecond, Chesswick becomes pretty when she takes off her eyeglasses? That's like a beginner level wile and you almost fell for it. The nerve!

I like the foxes' expressions in this update, all of them!

>Be confused about the queen's prank/assassination attempt. What was her reason? Was it a message to stay away from estmere? or did she mean to kill you but realizing Avogadro wasn't you? maybe you should parley with her?

>Wonder about the progress of the Vulpitanian scientist's experiment. Imagine if they had made a half skunk, half gazelle baby? Wouldn't that be crazy?

>Avogadro: Recall Queen Edessa being behind you just before you were assaulted.

>Mara and Chesswick: Catfight, with clothes being torn off.

>SALV Silverbrush: Who ARE these strange people trying to hug you?

>Meadow: Check out the water temperature in the Floozy's Bath. Just because. ;-)

>Adler: Break up catfight with "special touch".

>Mara and Chesswick: Achieve ecstasy in each other's arms. Start impromptu tonsil hockey match.

>Katy Perry: Start singing "I Kissed A Girl And Liked It".