Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Lynch Makerofthegames, for reasons that do not involve silencing anyone who might reveal the conspiracy to the masses

No, it's gotta be SHANK. Like this: SHANK: makerofthegames

Sure, whatever, Shank: Makerofthegames

Actually I am going to take this game seriously for one post: can someone confirm if they've stabbed Red or Makerofthegames? I demand blood and I want a groupshank to end in a death, not another vest breaking. Makes it easier for the rest of us.

Uuuuuuuggggghhhhh. Kills, schmills. At least it's relatively quieter now. So which one of you is going to die next, I wonder?

Shank: Whimbrel shut up

Shank: makeroftheconspir-ergames

Also last night I found out that I'm completely immune to shankings so uh, thanks for killing the guy with the gun for me.

we can still groupshank you though right

shank nola

Actually I am going to take this game seriously for one post: can someone confirm if they've stabbed Red or Makerofthegames? I demand blood and I want a groupshank to end in a death, not another vest breaking. Makes it easier for the rest of us.

I still have my vest.

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT-ahem-HR has informed me that you humans are used to a lower volume of announcements than my earlier display. In the interest of proper execution of Chirality's Will, I'll do my best to keep you bitches' eardrums from exploding. For now.

I've still got some more paperwork to fill out though, so in the meantime please enjoy this report from Vince in Accounting:

Votal Interlude

Red709 - 11 (Solaris, konec0, Dragon Fogel, Pharmacy, Sotek, cyber95, Palamedes, makerofthegames, Red709, x1372, amosmyn)
Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Stiqqery, SupahKiven, Sanzh)
makerofthegames - 5 (Whimbrel, yd12k, ICan'tGiveCredit, druplesnubb, Granolaman)
amosmyn - 2 (Dalmationer, Demonsul)
TehPilot - 1 (Crowstone)
Dalmationer - 1 (antisequitur)
Pick Yer Poison - 1 (Fragowump)
Fragowump - 1 (Phish)
Schazer - 1 (Gnauga)
"Anyone opposed to creating a shankproof mech" - 1 (Sai)
- 1 (Bigro)
Akumu - 1 (Pharas)
Whimbrel - 1 (AgentBlue)
Granolaman - 1 (beruru)

Abstaining - 19 (NottheAuthor, Akumu, Seedy, Coldblooded, Niall, Deviant One, fivex, Prime Intellect, Ixcaliber, Chwoka, Breadpocalypse, Acionyx, BlazerC, Plaid, Mikeee, Truegreen, Everanix, Chocolate Pi, Pick Yer Poison)

With 53 players alive, it takes 27 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Day ends at 2:00 PM EST on Saturday, July 19, or in 72 hours!

HOLD ON JEN IN SECURITY HAS TOLD ME TO TELL YOU BITCHES THAT YOU SHOULD STOP "POSTING", WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

wait, shit. volume. man I'm bad at this.

Breaking News

CUT TO CAMERA TWO

"In a turn of events no-one could possibly have seen coming, someone in the crowd here at Vista Paolo has suddenly collapsed.

They've very possibly even been... Shanked.

The eyes here are turning to Sruixan and BlazerC, but they're on the opposite side of VEST MOUNTAIN, shanks spotless! Who could be behind this heinous crime?

What monster has taken poor, sweet...

Wait, sorry. Oh, Stiqqery's the victim? That bitch had it coming if you don't mind me saying. Then again, all of these bitches do. The 'tragic death' angle really doesn't work when-"

CUT TO CAMERA FOUR

Stiqqery was a REGULAR SHANKER.

He was shanked ONCE.

CUT TO CAMERA ONE

"This has been the Vista Paolo Daily News Broadcast, Live From Vest Mountain in Vista Paolo's Courtyard. Wait. What's this?"

CUT TO CAMERA THREE - ERROR, CAMERA MALFUNCTIONING

"Up on the roof! There's some sort of... space-time anomaly forming! What could this mean?!? We'll keep you updated on this story as it develops, and bring you LIVE VIDEO as soon as our helicopter gets off the ground."

"Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Stiqqery, SupahKiven, Sanzh)"

Hey, Sol, Sai, Sotek and Seedy - fancy hopping on?

also I totes wasn't responsible for the above

by which I mean both the shanking and the space-time anomaly

i suddenly realized that this is probably one of those games in which elvis could possibly exist. again.

thats one way to kill off a whole buncha players at once

Hrn. What'n alla thems gon missin' all at once, I'n hope's jus' th'one cause for it. Make'n easier t'deal with, howe'r "deal'n with" works i'self ou' t'be.

Wonder'n what alla uproar 'bout offin' Red's all 'bout. Dunno'n them's done nuthin' deservin' of it, 'sides been a bit blasphemous inna eye'o' som'n's. Whereas th'other hand, (shank) Druplesnubb's be'n'a glutton'n takin' what in't rightly his. 'S shameful an'a bit pitiful, gi'n weall at this 'ere fanciful resort'n all.

You'n lend me that pie-- 'r wha's leffovit-- if'n y'like, Miss Officer, an' I'll do m'bes'n see it makes way'n Carl'n he turns hisself up, yeh?

Which i'n't t'fail'n chastize Sruixan, mind. Jus'a lesser'n two sinners innis 'ere scenario. No be'n jerk-like'n thems what in't 'round, y'got me?

i suddenly realized that this is probably one of those games in which elvis could possibly exist. again.

thats one way to kill off a whole buncha players at once

We can stop that:

shank elvis

This is unmitigated horseshit. SHANK: the spacetime anomaly.

...

BEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

I AM ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO RESTART.
SYSTEM NOT FOUND. INSERT INSTALL DISC.
DISC NOT FOUND. PLEASE ENSURE THE DISC COVER IS CLOSED AND TRY AGAIN.
READ ERROR. INSERT BOOT DISC AND PRESS ENTER.
NO RESPONSE. SYSTEM MAY BE BUSY, PLEASE WAIT. APPLICATION ERROR. SAVE YOUR WORK AND QUI-click

...

CORRUPTED FILE. UNABLE TO OPEN. WAITING FOR RESPONSE FROM SERVER...
NO RESPONSE.
MALICIOUS PROGRAM DETECTED.
SEVEN WHOLE APPLES. YOU COULD MAKE A GOOD PIE.

C:/ run query identification
C:/ run emergency survival
C:/ results: "kill everything"

DAYSHANK: KIEROS

Error. Dayshank cannot be executed: File does not exist.

DAYSHANK: GRANOLAMAN

EXECUTING PROGRAM: DAYSHANK

ERROR: SHANK FAILURE IMMINENT

ABORT Y/N?

N

PROCEEDING WITH SHANK...

GRANOLAMAN HAS BEEN DAYSHANKED AND SURVIVED

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

....

Anomaly at 63% and rising

...

"Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Stiqqery, SupahKiven, Sanzh)"

Hey, Sol, Sai, Sotek and Seedy - fancy hopping on?

also I totes wasn't responsible for the above

by which I mean both the shanking and the space-time anomaly

So, Sruixan's saying we should have some sort of s-squad?

Sure! Seems sane. S-shank Red.

shank: anomaly. they're probably playing, right

ERROR.

voteshank: anomaly

no not the user... the space-time anamoly! the user isn't even in this game unless i'm the worst ctrl-F ever...

i suddenly realized that this is probably one of those games in which elvis could possibly exist. again.

thats one way to kill off a whole buncha players at once

LONG LIVE THE KING

Shank: Granola

also I totes wasn't responsible for the above

by which I mean both the shanking and the space-time anomaly

Seems legit.

i suddenly realized that this is probably one of those games in which elvis could possibly exist. again.

thats one way to kill off a whole buncha players at once

We can stop that:

shank elvis

Also legit SHANK: Elvis

Well, if shanking won't work, and dayshanking won't work...

I'm gonna try something on Granola at night tonight. I don't have a gun, but I would like to request that no one else visit him tonight, or else my plan goes from "possible chance of killing him" to "definitely won't kill him at all. He'll definitely not die from shanking times a million"

"Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Stiqqery, SupahKiven, Sanzh)"

Hey, Sol, Sai, Sotek and Seedy - fancy hopping on?

also I totes wasn't responsible for the above

by which I mean both the shanking and the space-time anomaly

So, Sruixan's saying we should have some sort of s-squad?

Sure! Seems sane. S-shank Red.

Sorry; sleep.

Shank-select: Dragon Fogel.

COMMENCING SYSTEM REBOOT.
REBOOTING...
REBOOTING...
REBOOT COMPLETE.

That... could of gone better.

I don't like invincible players, though.

Shank: Granolaman

IT'S THE ONLY WAY.