Super Fantabulous Award Time Awards Time Awards 2012!

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Yes, ladies and gents, it's time! What time? Why, it's awards time at the Award Time awards, of course!

I'm your host, Macy Kaye. This Award Time awards time, we'll be examining some of the most Most threads on Eagle Time, dating all the way back to its inception. What fun! Some of the decisions were easy to make, some took many aggravating months of deliberation, but in the end the panel was able to come to the correct conclusions.


Oh! And I'm being handed the envelope containing the winners! This is very exciting! Drumrollllllll please.

...

Ah! The results are in, and what an upset!

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Most First: Skyfish

Most Brave: Crypt

Most Inconsistent: Consistency

Most Saddest Cuteness: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Most Mysterious: Helminth

Most Hilarious: Business Bird

Most Best Face: DOC-09

Most Lankiest Protagonist: On A Need To Know Basis

Most Abandoned: Microbe

Most Unread (By Schazer): We Sons Of Daley

Most Browser Crashes: Jormungandr Goes To Hell

Most Least: FIGHTEMS

Most Beard: Ixcaliber

Most Worst Puns: Dragon Fogel

Most Squidhats: Pinary

Wooden Spoon: Archnemeses

Some predictable wins there, but also a few surprises! One or two of those contentious decisions are likely to spur a heated internet debate. Get those fire hoses ready, people!

And that's it! That's all the time we have! This has been Award Time with me, Macy Kaye! Join us next awards time, won't you?

*Thank you to Schazer and Norivia for creating the artwork!

ABOUT DANG TIME what as keeping you so long oh right that was me

I give this award time awards time awards show the award for most awarding!

I'd accept the award for Most Inconsistent, but I clearly didn't win it.

I didn't win anything

IT WAS ALL RIGGED FROM THE START

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Superfrequency (10:44:25 PM): "hello, and welcome to pulling my own pink entrails out of my throat!"
Norivia (10:44:40 PM): THE BLOOD IS PINK
Norivia (10:44:42 PM): IT'S
Superfrequency (10:44:42 PM): "welcome to how many pink balls of yarn can I stuff down my shirt?"
Norivia (10:44:45 PM): PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK
Norivia (10:44:53 PM): *dies*
Superfrequency (10:45:14 PM): "welcome to the dark one has given me two additional tongues!"
Superfrequency (10:45:39 PM): "let's split up! I'll go with fred and velma!"
Superfrequency (10:45:54 PM): or more like just fred so they can make out
Superfrequency (10:45:58 PM): I know what's going on
Superfrequency (10:46:06 PM): they didn't solve shit

The stagehand is the girl from !

I'm pretty upset that the shadowy onanistic judge cut the Most Rhyme category! Magpieventure was a sho(e/o)-in.

There was never any such category and this is a lie

You cannot possibly understand how many separate emotions are happening right now, but they are mostly disbelief, sadness, disbelief, pressure, and confusion.

This thread should've won most banner

rarara

Most Beard: Ixcaliber

No effin' way, these awards are rigged! This is the most kabbalistic onanism I have ever seen (also shadows).

>Alice and Arlington: Accept award.

You look at the suspiciously small crowd of people, even as it looks like they might be having you on. Still, it does come with some STEEL, and the award is made of PLASTIC, so it's not like you're coming out of it EMPTY-HANDED.

Alice, dressed all in BLACK, and looking like a peculiar PORCELAIN DOLL in the BRIGHT LIGHTS, picks up the award. "Hm. Least read. I can't say that's surprising."

You nervously dust off your DRESS UNIFORM. "Still, I guess it's better than nothing... Thank you, everyone."

Alice nods. Why did you have to rehearse this? "It seems a bit worrying that we're all TEXT. Wasn't the director supposed to get a TABLET or something?"

"Doesn't that require the director have money? Last I remember, we're lower budget even than Consistency- at least they can afford multiple sets per post."

"Don't get me started, that gives me a headache. Aaaaanyway, we've about worn out our welcome so we should probably get while the getting's good..."

"Thank you, everyone!" beat. "And suggest something, will you? We know you're out there, we can hear you BREATHING."

aw shucks sloopy c:

No effin' way, these awards are rigged! This is the most kabbalistic onanism I have ever seen (also shadows).

Akumu, I am sorry. Truly sorry. It was a legitimately difficult decision. It was in fact the hardest decision I had to make while selecting winners. While your beard is undeniably magnificent and more meticulously shaped and groomed, I must concede that it just is not the Most beard.

Fabricati, Schazer specifically requested We Sons Of Daley be awarded something along the lines of "everyone needs to get around to reading", but I would not presume that everyone else hasn't already considering your viewcount (second highest, likely to surpass Fightems). As in, the award is "the Most thread Schazer has not read" and not "the most unread adventure and this category was Schazer's idea (although it was)".

Also because Most Brave might be a little cryptic (OH HO), Crypt was the first adventure to be moved to Eagle Time from MSPAFA.
Although the awards are very silly, they are not completely meaningless. Everyone who won something, I feel, deserves recognition for their work on this website in some way. Even if their specific award does not literally reflect that. All of the adventures you guys do, all of the posts you make, all of the behind the scenes work you guys put in gives this forum a stronger sense of community. I know it is way corny to be like YOU'RE ALL WINNERS but this is a cool place.

Why i didn't win all the things

Oh yeah i don't do things

I still liked this thing

I'll win the biggest number of pointless artshifts and "modes"™ next week-year... time. My legacy will live on even after i dramatically quit the forums. *Stares wishfully at window with his hair flowing gracefully*

Someday I'll actually make an adventure worth awarding things to

maybe I can get the most worst award

Congratulations! By not winning an award, you are eligible to receive the "Award" Award!



Don't spend it all in one place.

Hey, congratulations, Mr. Buy!

Oh.

Ohhh, sorry. I've made a terrible mistake. I'll have to take the trophy back and deliver it to the proper recipient. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

I am deeply saddened to announce Ixcaliber's forfeiture of the prestigious Most Beard award. The title is retroactively transferred to Akumu. Congratulations!

:<

Give me a couple of months.

I can grow this thing back.

You guys should both shave 'em off, then have a race.

I don't actually have that beard anymore (it has been shaved off and regrown a couple of times since then), so it is open season on beards here at Eagle Time.

My reign of literal terror has begun.