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awkwardcarapace · 08-18-2018, 05:08 AM

It's free
Real estate! We're giving you land,
It's free
We're giving you a house!
It's real estate
free.
It's a FREE HOUSE for you, Jim!
This is free real estate - well you gotta bring furniture, but the house is free!
Two bedrooms, no rugs
Issfree!
You unlock the door to your free house, we got you the real estate!
It's a two bedroom house, it's free it's got a pool in the back.
I'm not carrying this around all day, it's for YOUR HOUSE
Free real estate I'll pee my pants.
Jim, come get your damn land!
IT'S A FREE HOUSE
Jim, I got real estate!
Jim, dunnit get better than this?
Jim!
THEHOUSEISFREE
Jim!
THEHOUSEISFREE
IT'S A FREE F*CKING HOUSE!

It's free real estate.

kilozombie · 08-18-2018, 06:36 AM

i am not jim boonie. but i would like the house

kilozombie · 08-18-2018, 08:56 AM

did i come too late?for the house? i am okay if jim boonie got it first but i am clearly the person who posted first so unless jim boonie shot you a very quick personal message i think i am in the clear for having gotten here first you can contact me about the house at my personal message receiver. is that okay?

awkwardcarapace · 08-18-2018, 10:24 AM

Hi kilo, the thread title clearly stares that only jim boonie can post in this thread so unless you can provide documents proving that you are indeed jim boonie I’m going to have to call the authorities

**Myeth** · 08-19-2018, 12:33 AM

im Gay, is that close enough?

awkwardcarapace · 08-19-2018, 03:29 AM

jim boonie is Bisexual u Fool

**Myeth** · 08-19-2018, 03:34 AM

Oh fuck.. I am sorry, u may Sacrifice me to The Godess of Free Real estate for my grave mistake

kilozombie · 08-20-2018, 03:29 PM

does he live in the goonies movie

dabby · 08-20-2018, 03:58 PM

i am a descendant of jim boonie

Coldblooded · 08-20-2018, 04:25 PM

Hi, I'm Jim Boonie's lawyer, he wanted me to contact you and ask where the house is located and how much it costs.

I will be monitoring this thread for any updates, or you can contact Jim directly at POBox6969@hogmail.clom

awkwardcarapace · 08-20-2018, 06:04 PM

(08-19-2018, 03:34 AM)Myeth Wrote: »Oh fuck.. I am sorry, u may Sacrifice me to The Godess of Free Real estate for my grave mistake

Will do sir, let me just give her a call and see when she's free for that

(08-20-2018, 03:29 PM)kilozombie Wrote: »does he live in the goonies movie

I don't know, but I DO know that he's about to live in this FREE HOUSE (if and when he accepts the offer!)

(08-20-2018, 03:58 PM)dabby Wrote: »i am a descendant of jim boonie

Hi Kin of Jim Boonie, it says in the agreement that you may only get this offer if Jim Boonie dies (OF NATURAL CAUSES. NO MURDER)

(08-20-2018, 04:25 PM)Coldblooded Wrote: »Hi, I'm Jim Boonie's lawyer, he wanted me to contact you and ask where the house is located and how much it costs.

THEHOUSEISFREE

Coldblooded · 08-20-2018, 06:19 PM

(08-20-2018, 06:04 PM)awkwardcarapace Wrote: »THEHOUSEISFREE

The house is free???

awkwardcarapace · 08-20-2018, 06:51 PM

(08-20-2018, 06:19 PM)Coldblooded Wrote: »The house is free???

That's like the hook of the ad campaign, man, I thought lawyers were supposed to get a reader's license

Coldblooded · 08-20-2018, 07:12 PM

Well technically we do, but I usually only get to spend about 45 seconds with each client nowadays, I'm a very busy woman.

Anyway, thanks for your time, I'll make to let Jim know that the house has already been picked up for free by somebody else.

awkwardcarapace · 08-20-2018, 08:12 PM

(08-20-2018, 07:12 PM)Coldblooded Wrote: »Well technically we do, but I usually only get to spend about 45 seconds with each client nowadays, I'm a very busy woman.

Anyway, thanks for your time, I'll make to let Jim know that the house has already been picked up for free by somebody else.

NONOONO WAIT wait please, could you tell Jim I've got a free house for him - still available - and that he can claim it by posting in this thread, thank you

Coldblooded · 08-20-2018, 08:49 PM

Oh okay then, I'll pass the message along to him for you.

Please be patient though. Jim has never gone onto the online before, but he's currently taking a class on it at his local community college, and I'm sure he'll learn how to make a post here someday soon.

awkwardcarapace · 08-20-2018, 09:06 PM

That’s no problem at all! I eagerly await his/your correspondence

Reyweld · 08-23-2018, 03:02 AM

It is I, the Jester of Boonie!

I shall entertain you in the manner he sees fit!

awkwardcarapace · 08-29-2018, 11:33 AM

Oh excellent! I will be extremely entertained if Jim Boonie shows up and posts in this thread to claim his free house. That’d definitely give me a chuckle!

**Myeth** · 08-29-2018, 12:17 PM

did he call ahead of time first ? Make sure he does!

awkwardcarapace · 08-29-2018, 04:17 PM

I trust Jim Boonie enough to not need a calling-ahead! I just know he'll take this opportunity up ASAP... I just know it.