The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Narrative: Cut off the side characters, focus on Adler for the duration of dramatic confrontation.
>Adler: Tell Estemere that it would be the best for everyone if he gave you the crown. You can make him the minister of Radical Dudes or something so he can still carry on partying (Edessa has to go though, she tried to assassinate you).
>Estemere: Nuh uh.
>Decades of being bullied and pent up anger: Bubble up.

Angus: Oh no your shrub wife catches you in the act!
Angus's Shrub Wife: Rustle Leaves intensely while brandishing a rolling pin
(Meanwhile At the Shrub Brothel)
Shrub-Pimp: Hey one of your Shrub-Ho's is missing, grab your wide brimmed hat and cane and find that ho!

>Estmere: Storm out of the Hall of Ancestors, you're headed for the throne room.

Actually, the Coronation Throne is what Estmere referred to...and that article of furniture is in the Hall of Ancestors. And if you ain't the rightful king (or queen) and you sit yourself down there, bad things happen. And we don't mean a whoopie-cushion like noise, neithernohow.

There are unproven allegations that Westersloe Winterbough III scrawled a bit of graffiti on the underside of the Throne, but this has never been proven.

Oooch...hmmmm....well then, I'm amending my statement to read: >Estmere head directly to the Coronation throne.

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Spoiler

>Estmere: Do NOT sit in that throne!
>Edessa: Try to prevent Estmere. Do not succeed.
Estmere, nothing bad will happen. Go prove your elfness.
>Royal Crown and Robe: Be conveniently sitting on Coronation Throne.
>Estmere head directly to the Coronation throne.

"Wait, husband!" Edessa protested. "You should not sit on the Coronation Throne without the proper attire. Your casual suit is inappropriate to its ancient dignity. You need a formal robe and the coronation crown."

"There's a spare set hanging behind the throne," the Ixie pointed out helpfully.

"Yeah, I totally remember hanging them there after my coronation," Estmere recalled.

"This is not necessary," Edessa pleaded. "Why throw your life away? I don't care if you're a lowfolk bagelmonger. We can make it work. Think of our child! Would you leave your unborn heir fatherless?"



"No way, babe," Estmere grumped. "I'm not gonna die today. You have fallen for their tricks and now you don't even have faith in me. I'll show you I'm totally still King, and we'll settle this right now."

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Spoiler

Just outside:

That shrub-of-the-evening
one of your Shrub-Ho's

Angus sat on the steps of the Hall of Ancestors and cozied up next to the shapely shrub.

"What's a beautiful bush like you doing out here all alone?" he asked roguishly.

The shrub rustled flirtatiously.

>Adler: Might wanna change outfits.
>Adler: No time to change, you have but mere moments
>Ixie: Scold Adler for NOT wasting time looking for a proper outfit.

"I've got to get to the Hall of Ancestors right away, then!" I exclaimed. "But I've never pooked to a location I couldn't see. How do you do it?"



"Surely thou'rt not thinking of going like that?" the Ixie asked, pointing at my attire.

"Oh," I muttered, looking down at myself. "Yes, I suppose that would convey an odd impression. But I thought you said time was crucial."

"It is," the Ixie affirmed. "But thou hast a few moments to change clothes."

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Spoiler

Only one moment later, in the Hall:



"I was actually sort of fond of him," Edessa sniffed as she tried to hold back her tears. "You damned bug, why did you have to goad him on to doing it?"

"Thou knowest it was necessary," the Ixie replied with an unrepentant shrug.

"It was not! We could have left, I could have persuaded him to abdicate, we could have lived in peace."

"Firstly, thou couldst not have persuaded him to abdicate, and second, as long as there existed any loose end that could potentially lay claim to the throne, thou wouldst have no peace. Hide whithersoever thou listeth, the Sisterhood would find thee."

"Then why this? Why humiliate him so? Why not a decent assassination instead?"

"Thou knowest this well, too. The Sisterhood doth not deign to dirty its hands when others can be made to do the deed instead."

"I'll remember this, bug. Don't imagine things are over between us."

"I am but a single cog in a metaphorical giant Elfhamian machine. Thy grudge is not against me, but against a vast conspiracy of which thou knowest but the smallest particle. I'll give thee some free advice: Recall what I said regarding loose ends. Get thyself a good head-start."

The Queen abruptly pooked away from the Hall of Ancestors.

>Adler: Ditch the dress, fashion hastily a codpiece from the bra to maintain your dignity. That should do the trick!
>Adler: Pook to the closest familiar location and work your way from there.

>Alice: This fool believes he has a claim to the throne? He can barely control his hosts. Remember your mate. Time to tie up a loose end. Painfully.
>Alice: Spare the cow, though. He could be useful.
>Adler: Fly, fly like the wind! Your brother doesn't deserve whatever fate the sisterhood has planned for him. If you can't defy them now, you may as well resign yourself to their control forever. You are the destined ruler of all Faerie, your will shall not be ignored.
>Lemmy: Observe Adler on the move.
>Edessa: Someone is already there waiting for you. You were in over your head from the start.
>Someone Somewhere: Do something light-hearted and silly.

>Estmere: Find the throne, and the ceremonial robe. Slowly undress and put the garments on.
>Estmere: Note that none of your ministers are anywhere around...realize that they were with the Sisterhood too. You will deal with them later.

>Adler: You can't waste time trying to apparate your dork suit, this stable's bound to have a worker's overalls somewhere.
>Adler: Find said garments and race off to the Hall of Ancestors.

>Avogadro: You've lost Relda! That won't do! You must find her! Go into a panic stricken search frenzy.

>Adler: Ditch the dress
>Adler: Find said garments
>Avogadro: You've lost Relda! That won't do! You must find her! Go into a panic stricken search frenzy.

I quickly retrieved my stylish green satin suit from my Elfintory, and put it on.



"PRINCE ADLER???" Avogadro bellowed from the entrance of the stables. "What in the nine Netherhells are you doing here in Albric Tor? Where is my mistress, the beautiful Relda Fauxfox? I saw her dash in here .. what's that you're holding?"

I tried to tuck the Pie-Fight Valkyrie costume brassiere out of sight, but the mole managed to get a clear look at it.

"YOU SHALL DIE BY MY HAND!!!!" Avogadro screamed as he barreled toward me.

I threw the brassiere at him, and suddenly found the will to pook away toward the Hall of Ancestors.

I landed in the plaza in front of the Hall. If only Estvan could have seen me! He would have been quite proud of his pupil.

>Adler: Pook to the closest familiar location and work your way from there.
>Alice: Time to tie up a loose end. Painfully.
>Alice: Spare the cow, though.

I raced up the stairs, past a drunken City Guard snoozing with his head in the foliage of a very dubious-looking shrub. This looked like one of the guards I had met at the side gate, which meant his relief must have come and he was presumably off-duty .. but such disgraceful public behavior, while still in uniform? When I became King, I would have to have this fellow written up on disciplinary charges! There was no time to deal with him now, but I made a mental note of his features as I rushed onward, into the Hall.

>Adler: If you can't defy them now, you may as well resign yourself to their control forever.

Immediately I was beset by a swarm of Ixies.

"Turn back, Sire," they buzzed at me. "There is nothing thou canst do now. The Queen hath absconded, and the Tailipo hath likewise made good her escape. Naught but ill can come of thee beholding what sad relic remains -"

"Away, insects!" I growled. "You forget who is your Sire and ruler! If my brother is in peril then I must help him or bear witness to his fate with my own eyes."



I grabbed one of the light staffs propped near the entrance, and rushed quickly through the Hall toward the Coronation Chamber.



When I entered the chamber I stopped short, staring at the gruesome tableau before me. A horrible sinking dread seemed to permeate through my very soul!

"We warned thee not to look," the Ixies buzzed sympathetically.

When I entered the chamber I stopped short, staring at the gruesome tableau before me. A horrible sinking dread seemed to permeate through my very soul!

"We warned thee not to look," the Ixies buzzed sympathetically.

Ahhhhhhh yes. Disgusting. Isn't it?

>Adler: "No, no. It couldn't have ended like this. Not like this. This is all just a horrible dream. It has to be."
>Adler: First grief, then rage.
>Adler: A single traitorous thought echos through your mind. You may push it aside, but the seed is planted and the damage is done. "None of this would have happened if you'd done things the unseelie way to begin with."

>It's a trick, must be! Your father's dying wish was for you to look after Estemere, and you wouldn't fail your duty this way!

Aw I was looking forward to seeing their confrontation :(

>The Sight Adler sees: Be EVERY BIT AS BAD as the build up is leading us to believe.

Most of Adler's horror, come from the fact that Estmere is still alive.

Estmere, try to make your final words deep and meaningful. Succeed only in making yourself look like a shallow and petty brat.

>In case Estmere is still alive, let them have a moment.

>If Estmre is dead.. lt's Adler have a moment anyway.

>"Believe or not, but I didn't want the throne all that much at first.
But then your wife tried to have me killed and people just kept pushing for it I figured the only way for both of us to stop being targets was to for it on my own terms.."

>".. But, elves don't lie, I don't care what they told youor what they did to you or if they changed your lineage technically, I still think you're my bro."

>"I never wanted you to be hurt, bro. "

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SpoilerDisclaimer this is just a joke in sort of bad taste, really like where the story is going

The feeling is mutual Adler
Ixies: Give Adler your deepest Sympathy

>The Sight Adler sees: Be EVERY BIT AS BAD as the build up is leading us to believe.

For a few seconds I didn't fully realize what I was looking at.



I think I exclaimed something like "EALA!" as the truth suddenly hit me that the charred corpse sitting on the throne was all that remained of my half-brother, Estmere. I turned away in horror and despair.

>Adler: "No, no. It couldn't have ended like this. Not like this. This is all just a horrible dream. It has to be."
>Adler: First grief, then rage.
>It's a trick, must be! Your father's dying wish was for you to look after Estemere, and you wouldn't fail your duty this way!
>"I never wanted you to be hurt, bro. "

"Poor Estmere!" I blubbered into my sleeve. "He didn't deserve to end like this. He was just a good-hearted, fun-loving lummox. Our father tasked me to look after him, and now .. oh, how could this have happened?"

>Adler: A single traitorous thought echos through your mind. You may push it aside, but the seed is planted and the damage is done. "None of this would have happened if you'd done things the unseelie way to begin with."

"Yeahhh ... how could this actually have happened?" I wondered, after drying my eyes. "Ixies! Some of you witnessed these Unseelie events. Tell me what transpired."

"The Queen pooked his Majesty into the Hall," an Ixie replied - via Elfmind for some reason. I looked around but didn't see any of the swarm that had followed me into the chamber. "She claimed it was for his safety, to protect him from thee and thy army. But the fox Tailipo was here, and contrived to reveal to his Majesty the truth about himself and the Vulpitanians' thaumaturgy."

"Alice was here?" I muttered darkly. "And did Edessa not try to prevent .. this?"

"The Queen put forth a few feeble arguments, and then merely stood by whilst his Majesty sat upon the throne in an effort to prove his Elfliness and Kingship. Upon his demise, she pooked away, and the Tailipo absconded."

"I see," I growled through clenched teeth.

He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! It's run down the curtain and join the choir invisible! This...is an ex-Mephit!

>Soliloquy time! "Alas, poor Estemere! I knew him, a fellow of infinite jest..."

>Adler: This is the final straw. Every wrong committed against you by your enemies as well as so-called "allies" shall finally be paid back in equal or greater measure. Ascension to the throne comes later, as of right now your only goal is Retribution.
>Sisterhood Giraffe Spy from earlier: Walk in and immediately begin chastising Adler for still not returning to his army.
>Former Sisterhood Giraffe spy from a few seconds ago: Be the target of Adler's unbridled wrath.
>Everyone keeping tabs of Adler: Start becoming very worried.
>Angus: Finally shake off your stupor and peek into the Hall. Jump to conclusions and run for it before you're noticed. Tell your superiors that Adler has murdered the king.

>alder be cursed to not be able to leave Albric Tor or the fay realm until you are crowned king by elvish hands (Estmere's skeleton curses adler maybe?)

....

I didn't think the deed was done just before Edessa'd pooked away. Damn...Estmere was already dead....

....

>Unknown Vulpitian SALV in the Hall of Ancestors: Witness Estmere's demise. Inform the Vulpitian Embassy of the news.

>News of Estmere's death: Spread like wildfire!

>Vulpitians everywhere rejoice!

>Every other elf: Panic!

>Pie fight in PieFightValcon: Continue because it's the best pie fight ever!

>Marshal Theronmyathus: Unfortunately do not witness Estmere's demise, but see Alder in the Coronation chamber with Estmere's body. Notice Vulpitians celebrating. Jump to conclusions.

>Welp congratulation, king Adler. You have accessed the throne in one of the oldest and proudest tradition of monarchy: over the fresh corpse of your elder brother.


>No really, question of regicide or not aside, he's dead, the queen is missing, he legitimised while he was in power. And, most important detail, you have a large army camping outside the city that anyone who disagree can have a 'talk' with. Technically you're all good to go.

An unfortunate bystander, walk into the coronation chamber.
Notice the sight.
Scream bloody murder.
Notice Adler.
Scream "Murderer!".

He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace!
>Soliloquy time! "Alas, poor Estemere! I knew him, a fellow of infinite jest..."

Snatches of the Mephitist requiem ceremony sprang to my mind, but unfortunately this was no time to eulogize Estmere. Events had been set in motion and forces were no doubt gathering as I stood there, seething, in the Coronation Chamber. This was not right - not right at all. My half-brother loved venery and fighting, in the good old elfly tradition. It was shameful for him to have died this way, and those responsible for it would pay: The Sisterhood, the Vulpitanians, the Queen ... was there any significance to the way my Ixie daughters suddenly withdrew from my presence? I would have to watch them with suspicion.

>Welp congratulation, king Adler. You have accessed the throne in one of the oldest and proudest tradition of monarchy: over the fresh corpse of your elder brother.

The fact that I was (practically, almost) King now would help me rid the Empire of these Unseelie elements ... but in order to become King, one had to be crowned, and it must be done by another elf. Not even Irenaeus had the hubris to crown himself. Then there was the matter of succession. Even though I had been legitimized as the King's brother and had the clearest claim to the throne, Edessa could still contest it - and when her child was born, it would have a strong counterclaim.

Clearly it would be in the Queen's best interest to have me eliminated, since I stood in the way of her ambition. The Vulpitanians also probably wanted an end to the Empire, and the Duchess of Daisies .. well, she must have known there was no chance in the Netherhells I would ever marry her, so she probably also had me marked for death. How many of these parties knew my present whereabouts?

chastising Adler for still not returning to his army.
you have a large army camping outside the city

I quickly decided that I needed to get back to my army. Since my original purpose in coming to Albric Tor had been thwarted, my only path to safety now lay in a display of overwhelming force against my enemies.

>Angus: Finally shake off your stupor

I hurried out of the Hall, past the Guard - who seemed to be shaking off the effects of whatever intoxicant he had consumed.

"You're a disgrace to that uniform!" I yelled at him as I strode past. "If you're still alive after I conquer this city, I will expect you to report to me for discipline!"

"Prince Adler?" the Guard asked drowsily. "What are you doing here? Come to think of it, what am I doing here??"

Notice Adler.
Scream

I hustled onward, across the park and down a side-street.

Avogadro stepped around a corner and pointed at me.

"AHA!" he shrieked. "STAND AND FACE YOUR FATE, YOU DESPOILER OF MY MISTRESS'S VIRTUE! WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER STRIPPING HER BARE? WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN HER?"

>Adler: This is the final straw. Every wrong committed against you by your enemies as well as so-called "allies" shall finally be paid back in equal or greater measure. Ascension to the throne comes later, as of right now your only goal is Retribution.

I didn't have time to parley with this chump. I strode up and punched him a good one right in the snout, then kept on truckin' toward the nearest city gate.

>Holy heck punching people is really fun! No wonder your brother liked it a lot. From now on punch first, ask questions later!