The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

im a mess

I'm scared, frequently.
Taking risks is bad.

Im very lonely and feel as if i dont have any friends i can just drop into a conversation with? Pretty much everyone just ignores me or is outright dismissive about my interests. I just want to be happy and enthusiastic about stuff, or link things that made me think of them

Could somebody please just kill me already

I got off at the wrong busstop when going to somewhere I haven't bussed to before. I walked around for 2 hours looking for the street I was supposed to get off, only to find that it didn't exist and was probably renamed or the google map was just plain wrong. I cut my losses and went home.

My right foot is sore and my left foot has a blister.

apparently i'm still treated as a child. I'm 20.

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Spoilermy brother is working at home. I have work to do. There's two different routers. The family router and the guest router. guess which one is password protected and that i can't use. The family router. So today the family router worked and mine just plain didn't. Rather than spending a few minutes to fix this problem (or, say, letting me use the fucking family router), they decide to wait the whole day until 6:30pm to fix my router. All because they think my brother's work should not be interrupted and that "i probably don't even work anyway"

why did i enroll in university again?

no money, no future

I really need to vent about everything and I figured this is the safest place to do it. Huge huge wall of text:

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Spoiler
I'm sorry, I've removed the giant wall of text because I don't want my personal stuff out there forever, only for a little bit is fine tho, so I guess PM me if you want to know what was here.

jesus fucking christ man.

i really don't know what to say to that, other than i'm sure that everybody here will do their best to support you in whatever way they can.

maybe try talking to wheat, if you're up for it? they might have some ideas, or at least be able to more eloquently express their compassion than i can.

Thanks, just venting helps sometimes. Wheat is a great guy and has offered to help financially. Several peeps have been really nice and have offered to listen too, I just feel like I don't want to overwhelm anyone because I would just mostly talk about the same shit that doesn't even matter anymore.

I know, it's hard to fight back the irrational thoughts sometimes, or even muster the energy to talk at all.

I once tried to go live in the US since my aunt offered me to stay at her place but it didn't work out, my visa was denied and of course I lost the money I paid for it. Trust me, getting a visa is not easy, even if you are employed. Although I've heard it's way easier to get a visa for Canada (if you even need one at all).

A game I enjoyed has made several updates that have completely removed the fun

What game? How?

Gems of War.

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Spoiler It has been expanding the gap between the newer/unlucky players and the older/pay-to-win players by introducing events that are essentially impossible unless your team is already extremely good that gives the best players massive rewards. Also, its latest update made the UI "sleek and efficient", but really made it look like garbage.

The only way to improve your team is to earn currencies that grant random troops (think CCG), but in the time it takes me to get 50 cards that have a slim chance of being good, the top 5-10 percentile gets 500+, some with better odds. Even if you get the 2nd highest or highest rarity of troop, the range of power within the group punishes people who don't get as many.

In a specific event, Guild Wars, you can pay currencies to make your team better for the duration of the week. But the only people who can afford to get a large amount of upgrades are the winners of previous weeks and the people who pay money.

It feels like the game is saying "if you aren't going to do significant microtransactions, you can't do well" and if this continues it's going to make a lot of players leave the game and inevitably kill it.

tldr; It has serious balancing issues and new events are only benefiting pay-to-win players.

Ugh, that's The Worst.

i hate my job so much

like it stresses me out far more than what is healthy

i want to quit but i cant because i need the money. and my roommate/coworker cant drive so i have to drive her.

I didn't do too good in a math test and this makes me peeved but mostly really anxious and sad, because I know no matter how much I study i'll still make mistakes, because I'm forgetful and I have my head in the clouds too much. I don't want to look at my report card, it terrifies me. But I know my mom will and that terrifies me even more.

Meds aren't working like they're supposed to and I'm feeling worse.

I have a huge hole in my tooth that i can't afford to fix so i've been trying to ignore it, but its getting worse... Mum has offered to pay but also has been talking about her own financial woes bc of already subsidising our rent and my sister's medical stuff (have i mentioned in here that my sister has cancer? because yeah)

bleh stress

I wanna kick algebra
In the FACE

Hey Plaid, financial problems, specially when your health is on the line, are the worst. I'm very sorry to hear that :C

bots
dang disrespect

I feel like I want to leave my job. I'm not really happy, and this feels like a dead end job. But, can I really afford to pursue my *dream job*? Can anyone, really? Like, it just constantly depresses me that there are people who settle for their current job that they hate because they have to support their family somehow. Is there even a job that I will like, or will I become tired of every job quickly simply because there's work involved?

It's hard to say, really. Right now, I've landed in a place where I could very well support myself (in a kind of bare-bones lifestyle) for the rest of my life if everything goes well. I'm doing what I like (drawing, animating). However, this could also be an opportunity for me to jump somewhere else after I get enough experience here (because i'm animating very boring things and I want to do more creative stuff). So, in my case, no, I don't want to settle for what I have even if this is technically not a dead end job.

It all depends on what you want from life, i think. Sure, there are "dream jobs" like being your own boss, working on what you like to do. But for some people, being comfortable enough and having enough money to support a family or even just hanging out with friends is more than enough. Some others are forced to do this even if they don't want to though, like you mentioned.

I think as long as you have an interest in something that can be profitable, then you definitely can have a dream job. Because as cliché as it sounds, if you enjoy what you're doing (and I mean really enjoy, the kind of enjoyment that makes you not want to stop doing what you're doing), then it's not a job anymore.

Maybe you're becoming tired of every job quickly because you don't have an end goal, which makes the whole endeavor seem pointless.

I can say some people are perfectly happy to live to work, and some people are perfectly happy to work to live. Of course, not everyone is happy. There is a great deal to be said for sticking with an unpleasant state of affairs for a higher cause, yes, but evaluating whether it costs more to stay or to go can be very tough: We pay a price for anything we do, but we also pay a price for anything we don’t do.

Either way, making these kinds of calls for yourself is a big part of what maturity—of having your act together—is. It’s hard not knowing what you’re about, and it’s hard knowing what you’re about but getting stopped every step of the way.

I’ve been pondering (and reading up) on such things quite a bit over the past few years myself because I’ve been stuck in my personal hell. In material terms it would seem to many people that it’s a very nice situation, with a broad knowledge of things and a degree in a hot field, but that’s a part and parcel of the problem. It is costing me very little to stay, but it is also profiting me nothing, and knowing that the true cost is anything else I could have been doing, it’s like I’ve been paying for it with my soul. But ah, this is not about me and my long history of (in retrospect) attention-seeking behavior (that manifested in ways few people would interpret as such).

Perhaps to spin this more reassuringly: lots of people don’t have this figured out, neither on a practical level nor on a rational one. If they do, it’s usually not at a young age; Hunter S. Thompson seems to be the notable exception.

Also one of the countless things I wish I knew 10–15 years ago, but was never told (many people seem to need the opposite lesson at those ages anyhow, plus who knows whether I’d act on it?): if you are young, or just really unestablished and have nothing, it is in some ways safer to take more risks if the rewards are worth it; hitting rock bottom and bouncing back is no big deal at that stage. This is a door less open to people with mouths to feed, less health, (hopefully) higher pay commensurate with more experience and knowledge, and/or retirement savings to lose, and people are far less sympathetic—fair or not, and I’d say not—if you’re taking the risks at age 3x deemed more of a 2x-year-old’s game just because you weren’t back then.

Hope that helps, but then again I’m still nobody and also not who I thought I was in the first place so what do I really know eh.