The Priest is DEAD, GOD ABANDONED HUMANITY YEARS AGO

According to a trustworthy source, my sins are "bad farts, tickling, and cold hands."

I am going to the hell aren't I

Pope John Paul Ringo George XI said nothing about this in the updated Cannon, I'm afraid. But, just to be safe:

Penace: drink a kale smoothie. That will forgive almost any sin.

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You may or may not have heard of a local vender selling magical "amulets", but let me tell you: they have not been given endorsement from the church, and they probably are a fire bender that worships the devil and doesn't give up anything for Lent. They might even eat meat with fish!!!

That last line was a little slanderous. I'm going to go wash my face in my golden sink and pray 12 Our Fathers.

I am going to the hell aren't I

Not in my ambiguous but legally-recognized religion! Convert now

Is there pizza at the relig meetings

I will convert for pizza

Hear ye hear ye whoever offers the best pizza gets my eternal soul

want to meet hot singles in your area? Convert and we'll tell you where!

and then you convert. and then it was, as they said, in your area. that's it. they won't elaborate any further. It is the mystery of god. You must go out and discover the hot singles for yourself

how many fractions of a porn may one man consume before they have Sinned

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how many fractions of a porn may one man consume before they have Sinned

Ah yes, yes, the sorites pornadox; remove the pornbits bit by bit, at what point does it stop being a full porn and start being merely pornbits? What is the border between a sin heap and mere collection of individual temptation grains?

These are the tough questions.

How many peccadillos to a sin heap?

Dear Pastor Reyweld-Ized,

I need external assurance that I am a good person,
by deed and demeanor, despite all belief and evidence to the contrary. How do I go about getting a direct dial from whichever big guy you've got handy?

Sorry, it's my Lunch Break. Come back later.

for the same reason St. Silk-Road isn't canonized yet.

I have properly labelled this thread.

If the priest is revived will the priest still be considered holy or is bringing the dead back to life a sin?

The undead priest, after being raised, would immediately start burning (as their body is holy and undead burn in the presence of holy, except ghosts and sometimes sexy vampires) and suffer eternal torment until put out of their misery. If they became a ghost, they would be a holy spirit. If they became a sexy vampire, they would becoome the muse of an erotic fanfic and then would proceed to be hunted down and staked.

>priest: become a sexy vampire

Can vampires turn in to ghosts cause if so we can aim to start with a vampire and then have the priest retire as a peaceful holy spirit.

yeah if you want to know my weakness? no, not garlic. put a pint of ben and jerry's in front of me, and I will just drop dead for a few hours

I was linked here, I post in defeat.

ooOOOoOoOoOoooOoOooOoooOooOOOOooOooooooo

I'm a holy ghoooooOOoOOOOooooooost...
Purgatory traps me..............
help. ................ .................................

oooOOOOooOoOooooOoOoOoOoOoOoooooOoooooooo

ooOOOoOoOoOoooOoOooOoooOooOOOOooOooooooo

I'm a holy ghoooooOOoOOOOooooooost...
Purgatory traps me..............
help. ................ .................................

oooOOOOooOoOooooOoOoOoOoOoOoooooOoooooooo

you are going he'll.

ooOOooOOooOOooooooOoOOOoOo

Anything's better than this shit

oOOoOoooooOoOoOOOOoOooOooo