Scuppernong

You're a Scuppernong!

Congratulations.

> Be delicious.

make like a pea soup and split

Nice hair, nerd.

drop down and nest on a bird's back

Grow. Feast on nutrients.

> Be delicious.

You'd really rather not!

explode

Climb up your own hair like Rapunzel.

> implode

Feast on the creature!

What is a scuppermong?

Exude poison

warn dogs that scuppernong is a species of grape, which is poisonous to dogs and cats

Climb up your own hair like Rapunzel.

You climb up the vine that you are growing on, in hopes of both getting out of the dog's reach and steadying yourself.

explode

It worked a little!

Exude poison

You toss your exuded droplet of PURE, UNDILUTED, HECKJUICE.





Aw nerts, he likes it.

warn dogs that scuppernong is a species of grape, which is poisonous to dogs and cats

Nobody warned the puppy.



Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(The dog runs away, leaving a trail of let's not talk about it)

Show Content

Spoiler

What is a scuppermong?

(I erroneously called it a Scuppermong)

But a Scuppernong is a grape of the Muscadine Family, and is the state fruit of North Carolina.

Free yourself from the vine

emigrate to south carolina

discover that's the new official state flag!

ruun for noth caroline governor i'm tired goodnight

emigrate to east

Go for the kill

Free yourself from the vine

You pop off that vine like someone wanted to make wine!



You make your way down the vine towards its base. On your way, you pass by Mrs. Muscadine and her two boys, Vita and Barry. You exchange greetings, and make some quick small talk. Apparently Vita got into big trouble at Grapevine Elementary for cheating on his test! He's in timeout now.

You're not entirely sure how his timeout is any different than just hanging out on the vine. You're actually pretty sure they're just hanging out on the vine. Maybe Vita's punishment is that he has look sad?

Unfortunately, you don't have time to question further. You've got a certain special someone to meet!



You sweep a look across the fields.



Ah, there she is!



Your beautiful wife, Cat! She's been up and about for quite some time this morning. You wish she would have woken you up so you could run errands with her, but she always lets you sleep in.

You also wish you would have gone on errands with her because then you wouldn't have had that dog run-in.

You try to mentally block out that attack. You can't let anything get to you today, today is too important...

ruun for noth caroline governor

...because today starts your candidacy for Governor of North Carolina! You're running as an independent in a special election after the current Governor retired after "being really tired of North Carolina". You see Cat has gotten your briefcase and suit ready. What a peach grape, you're gonna miss her when out on the campaign trail.

Oh man that suit looks so good. You love wearing that suit, its like half the reason you even got into politics.



Aw yea, I'll approve your bill to tell me how great I look. I could veto it but the citizens want honesty in their leaders.

Time to canvas some VOTES, YO

Start with grassroots!