Consistency

It's time to Anime.

Perfect! This should get you some Poet Points and help you pump up your score.

You make your declaration and... wait a minute, your opponent is laughing.

"Time does not rhyme with anime! You wasted your chance. It's my turn now."

Your opponent moves his playing piece forwards, and lands on a Metaphor Floor tile.

"This game is the sword with which I shall pierce your hope of ever surpassing me in any way."

Damn! He got 15 points for that. You roll again, and land on an Alliteration Arrow.

You can't mess up this time. You need to make as long a sentence as you can where all the words start with the same letter. What are you going to do?

Detonate!

Of course! That's the simplest way to put an end to your cursed existence. You activate the dynamite strapped to your chest and...

KABOOM!

...Dammit. You're still alive. Stupid immortality. And now you don't even have any limbs to kill yourself with! What are you going to do?

STAGE DIVE

You decide to play Dive Man's stage first. After all, how hard can it be?

...Wait a minute. You're pretty sure Mega Man 4 isn't supposed to have Koopa Troopas and Medusa Heads. Something's wrong with this game. You may want to look into this later.

For now, though, you've got some enemies headed your way, and you've got to take care of them. What's the best approach?

:) The only rose without a thorn is friendship. :)

Of course! Rose Friendship is the only Rose who isn't dating one of the Thorn Brothers. How could you forget that?

Well, now's the time to act. The music's playing, the dance is about to start, if you're going to ask then now is the time.

Wait a minute... Todd Thorn is heading over to her! And he's faster than you! If he gets there first, you'll miss your chance! You'd better do something, quick!

consist

You decide to continue consisting of mud, bark, and leaves. This proves to be rather simple task because you don't actually have to do anything except continue to exist.

But it isn't helping you to either escape from this facility or learn why a creature like you is alive. Maybe you should take a more active role in solving your problems.

Or you could just actively keep consisting of mud, bark, and leaves; after all, it's much less work. Your choice, really.

Anklesaurus Rex: Exhale

Your Anklesaurus Rex has been charging up his breath attack long enough, you think. You tell him to exhale.

A massive burst of wind emerges from Anklesaurus Rex's mouth and flings the Boxy Ox and Earodactyl out of the arena. Unfortunately, the Lone Llama is too heavy for that to work; it looks like this match isn't over yet. Worse, Lone Llama powers up when it's the last monster on its side of the field; you can't let it get too many turns, or you're in big trouble.

You just have one monster left that can move this turn; your Gorilla Guerrilla. You need to think very carefully about what order you give him.

So what's it going to be?

on the current we ride

FLYING RIGHT HOOK.

Honestly, I think our suggestions are just whatever comes into our frankly not-sane brains at the moment.

If 3x3 matrices A and B each have three pivot positions, then A can be transformed into B by elementary row operations.

watch out for quote pyramids.

> Dance on the Autism Spectrum.

> Dance on the Autism Spectrum's grave.

> Chug the bottle marked "NyQuil."

One fuckton, two shitloads, and one and a half metric fucktons.

3 6 9, the boots drank wine

on the current we ride

What? Stay on the same current? The one that's headed for that big waterfall? That's just crazy!

Unfortunately, in the time you took to dismiss that insane notion, your raft drifted past the fork in the river. Looks like you're heading over the falls whether you like it or not.

This would probably be a good time to come up with a plan of some kind. Preferably one that involves surviving.

FLYING RIGHT HOOK.

You're still puzzled by what these hooks on ridiculously long chains are doing, but you decide to take a gamble and hop on the one flying to the right.

Oh. Huh. It seems to be headed for a waterfall. And you're pretty high up. You think this may not have been the best choice.

So what's the plan now?

Honestly, I think our suggestions are just whatever comes into our frankly not-sane brains at the moment.

Oh! Perfect! You can get suggestions from your brain! You just felt something fly in there. You stick your hand in and pull whatever it was out, and stuff it in the suggestion box.

Suddenly, the building starts moving. You look outside, and it's headed directly towards a raging river. In the distance, you can see a waterfall, and you think you see two really long chains in the air for some reason.

Maybe you should have taken a look at what you were actually suggesting before you stuffed it in the suggestion box. Oh well, too late now. The only thing you can do is suggest something else in hopes of stopping it. But what might work?

If 3x3 matrices A and B each have three pivot positions, then A can be transformed into B by elementary row operations.

Of course! It makes sense now! A and B were the same 3x3 matrix the whole time! All the clues are falling into place!

But there's a problem. If A and B are the same matrix... there's no way A could have committed the murder. After all, B has a rock-solid alibi. So who's the real killer?

Well... You do know some things now. Namely, they're either not 3X3, or they don't have three pivot positions. But then how could they have gotten to the top of the waterfall? They couldn't have done it the same way you did.

This case keeps getting stranger and stranger. And... hey, who's that on a raft coming down the rapids? They don't look like a matrix at all!

watch out for quote pyramids.

Oh no! You knew Lord Quote's forces were lurking nearby, but you didn't realize they included some of his Quote Pyramids!

You're in more trouble than you thought. The Quote Pyramids are nearly indestructible, the only way you ever wrecked one was by sending it over a waterfall. But where are you going to find one of those all the way out here?

You'll need a different plan, unless you have some idea of how to find a waterfall...

Hey, was that a big hook flying through the air on a chain? What's even the deal with that?

> Dance on the Autism Spectrum.

Oh, come on. It's bad enough that you're on this really dumb reality show, "The Autism Spectrum", that makes fun of your severe disability, and even worse that they've dragged you out into the middle of nowhere for some dumb stunt involving a waterfall... why would you embarrass yourself even more by taking the time to dance?

"Hey! Are you getting in the barrel or not?" the cameraman yells at you. "We don't have all day here!"

Oh, right. Because it's a stalling tactic. You immediately begin breakdancing, and...

CRASH! WHAM! BOOM!

What the hell? How did you breakdance your way into the barrel? At least you broke the dumb camera in the process. But you're upside-down in a barrel floating down a river towards a waterfall, maybe you should think about what to do.

> Dance on the Autism Spectrum's grave.

Yes. Your archrival, the Autism Spectrum, has been vanquished! You indulge yourself in an impromptu dance upon his gravestone. You also wonder why it's at the top of a waterfall, but never mind that, you have a tasteless victory dance to perform!

It turns out you're not very good at dancing. Somehow, you've found yourself on top of a barrel heading for the falls. What are you going to do now?

> Chug the bottle marked "NyQuil."

You have your doubts about that bottle, but on the other hand, you're not really sure that the others are any better. You open it up...

What the hell? How is an entire waterfall pouring out of a single bottle? And where's it even coming from?

One fuckton, two shitloads, and one and a half metric fucktons.

Okay, you've picked out your container sizes. Now you just need to fill them all with water. But how are you going to get these huge containers all the way over to the river? They're pretty delicate despite their size, you'd rather not roll them... and besides, that would only work for getting them to the river, not back.

You'll need to think of something. You need to catch that waterfall, and fast.

3 6 9, the boots drank wine

You set your absorbing boots to Wine, and input the combination 3-6-9 on the safe. As it opens up, a torrent of water comes rushing out! It pushes you out of your house and moves rapidly towards a cliff. Wonderful, you found some idiot keeping a waterfall inside a safe.

Wonderful. Why did you set them to Wine instead of Water? Where are you even going to find wine in a place like this?

Oh well, it's too late to worry about it. Your priority is to not get swept away over the cliff. How are you going to do that?

ass ass titties titties ass and titties

Dam the waterfall with the wreckage of the gorilla pen!

>Switch from Ubuntu to Redhat.

Baby, can't you see?
I'm callin'
A guy like you
should wear a warnin'
It's dangerous
I'm fallin'

There's no escape,
I can't wait
I need a hit,
baby, give me it
You're dangerous
I'm lovin' it

Too high,
can't come down
Losing my head
Spinning 'round and 'round
Do you feel me now?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do, don't you know that you're toxic?

It's getting late
to give you up
I took a sip
from a devil's cup
Slowly It's taking over me

Too high,
can't come down
It's in the air
And it's all around
Can you feel me now?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do, but you know that you're toxic
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Don't you know that you're toxic?

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?
With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' (Toxic) under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

Intoxicate me now
with your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now,
I think I'm ready now

Intoxicate me now
with your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now

There was something consistent about those last updates...as if they were connected in some way...im scared guys.

There was something consistent about those last updates...as if they were connected in some way...im scared guys.

I agree, it was very scary!
I'm not sure if it was the fear or just the thought of running water that made me wet myself though.

Run, Forrest, run!

Once upon a time, there was a magical gopher who lived in the Kingdom of Happiness. The gopher's name was

ass ass titties titties ass and titties

but everyone called him "Forrest" because his real name wasn't suitable for polite company. Forrest had the amazing magical power to

Dam the waterfall with the wreckage of the gorilla pen!

It wasn't very useful most of the time, because the kingdom depended on that waterfall to run its hydroelectric dam. Plus gorilla pens were pretty rare, so wrecking one just to damn a waterfall seemed wasteful.

But Forrest was happy, because he lived in the Kingdom of Happiness. He didn't need a useful magical power.

Then, one day, an evil wizard decided that the Kingdom of Happiness was too happy. He decided to cast an evil curse on everyone there. The effect of this curse was to

>Switch from Ubuntu to Redhat.

The wizard knew this spell would cause chaos and unhappiness. He gathered up the ingredients and began the incantation.

SpoilerShow

Baby, can't you see?
I'm callin'
A guy like you
should wear a warnin'
It's dangerous
I'm fallin'

There's no escape,
I can't wait
I need a hit,
baby, give me it
You're dangerous
I'm lovin' it

Too high,
can't come down
Losing my head
Spinning 'round and 'round
Do you feel me now?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do, don't you know that you're toxic?

It's getting late
to give you up
I took a sip
from a devil's cup
Slowly It's taking over me

Too high,
can't come down
It's in the air
And it's all around
Can you feel me now?

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do, but you know that you're toxic
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Don't you know that you're toxic?

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?
With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' (Toxic) under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

Intoxicate me now
with your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now,
I think I'm ready now

Intoxicate me now
with your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now

The spell worked, and every computer in the Kingdom of Happiness switched from Ubuntu to Redhat! Everyone in the kingdom was in despair, except Forrest the magical gopher. He had used Redhat all along, and didn't even realize anything was wrong until mid-afternoon.

Still, even though Forrest was happy with his computer, he knew everyone else wasn't happy with theirs. So he decided to challenge the wizard and remove the curse. He burrowed over to the wizard's tower and climbed to the top. He looked the wizard straight in the eye, and said...

There was something consistent about those last updates...as if they were connected in some way...im scared guys.

This confused the wizard, because he had no idea who Forrest the magical gopher was or what he was talking about. While the wizard was dazed, Forrest made his move - he saw the wizard's evil waterfall, which obviously was what powered the curse, and there was also a gorilla pen on his desk. Before the wizard could sort out what was going on long enough to yell at the intruder, Forrest had successfully dammed the waterfall.

But Forrest had never dammed an evil waterfall before. It turned out that evil waterfalls make a horrifying wail when dammed. The wizard screamed in terror, not being familiar with the sound of a dammed evil waterfall either. Forrest turned to him and said

I agree, it was very scary!
I'm not sure if it was the fear or just the thought of running water that made me wet myself though.

Before the wizard could say another word, the dammed evil waterfall began bursting. It looked like it was going to explode. Forrest realized there was only one thing he could do!

Run, Forrest, run!

He ran out of the evil tower, dragging the confused evil wizard with him. He just barely escaped the evil explosion from the evil waterfall, but in the end all that blew up was the evil tower.

Forrest returned to the Kingdom of Happiness, and turned the evil wizard over to the authorities. Then he asked if the curse was lifted.

"Actually, Forest," the King said, "while you were gone we all discovered how great Redhat was! We were going to send the wizard a thank-you note!"

Forrest and the king and the evil wizard laughed, and they all lived happily ever after.

Forrest: meet the Secret Agent.

Fail to see the Forrest for the Theresa.

fresh up

---

fresh down

a la carte

I... I don't even know what to do now. After reading through all those pages, all of a sudden, IT ALL MAKES SENSE. I'm not sure if I can handle that!

>Attach it to the mailbox in the front yard. That'll trap 'em for sure!

> man, you should call it Quits.