Consistency

>Hugh Laurie

seconded

Please don't fire Hugh Laurie

Fire! Fire!

You decide to start out by combining two Fire runes and activating them. The runes react with each other, and a massive burst of fire magic erupts from the page.

The room is now on fire. You begin to think that maybe you shouldn't have skipped that chapter about elemental compatibility before you started experimenting. Maybe you can do that after you figure out how to douse this magical fire.

Have you ever read A Series of Unfortunate Events?

No. You haven't. Not until this session, anyway. That's what has you so worried.

You aren't sure how to tell the customer that according to his palm lines, repeated misfortune is in his future. As you try to find the words, however, a pack of wolves rush into your tent and drag him away.

It's started. This is bad. According to your reading, this will lead to his death. You think you'd better follow him and stop things from getting worse, but how are you going to deal with those wolves?

Give carrot

You carefully look over the lineup of magical items in front of you, and finally settle upon the Give Carrot. This magical vegetable can restore whoever eats it to perfect health, but only if it was given freely to them.

"An interesting choice," the wizard says, stroking his beard. "And now the next trial awaits you."

He opens the door, revealing a massive pit of lava. There is no visible way over it. On the other side is a steel door with a magic symbol on it.

How are you going to get across?

>Hugh Laurie

You decide that Hugh and Laurie are the couple you're going to get together. Of course, they have radically different interests and are rarely even in the same part of the city, but hey. It's not like you haven't taken on hard jobs before.

You put on your quiver and fly down to Earth. Where are you going to start on your quest to forge a perfect romance?

seconded

You second the motion. The vote begins. The first vote is 13-8 against, with fourteen abstaining. The result is inconclusive, and the council adjourns for two hours before calling for a second vote.

Looks like you'll have to persuade quite a few councilors before the next vote. But who should you start with, and how will you change their minds?

Please don't fire Hugh Laurie

You beg the terrorist not to shoot Hugh Laurie out of the circus cannon he commandeered. His comedic talents are too valuable for the world! The man grins at you wickedly through his ski mask.

"Perhaps you'd like to take his place, then?"

You consider this for a moment. It would get Hugh Laurie out of danger, but then what would you do? If only you had a plan!

Hooray!

A trip to Killiarney hey, a dilly dally hey hey doo

> More cameos!

FOGEL STOP SOME OF THESE ADVENTURES ARE THINGS I WOULD WANT TO READ NOOOOO

FOGEL STOP SOME OF THESE ADVENTURES ARE THINGS I WOULD WANT TO READ NOOOOO

AND THUS WERE SPAWNED "THE OFFSPRING OF CONSISTENCY: THE ADVENTURES CONTINUE"

Councillor Krupky.

Hooray!

"Hooray!" you shout.

"I'm sorry," the host says, shaking his head slightly, "but the correct answer was 'Hip Hip Replacement'. You lose 300 points."

Darn. There goes your lead. At least you still get to pick the next question, though; which one will it be?

A trip to Killiarney hey, a dilly dally hey hey doo

You sing the mystical incantation and are transported to Killiarney. Unfortunately, your destination point appears to be right off the edge of a cliff, and you start falling immediately upon your arrival.

The ground is getting closer. You'll probably only have time for one more incantation before impact. What should it be?

> More cameos!

You decide to go with what you're good at, and begin carving another cameo. You think you want to try a new design with this one, though; what should you do with it?

Councillor Krupky.

Target confirmed: Councillor Krupky.
Mission details: The Councillor is lactose intolerant, but the councilchamber's cafeteria does not offer meals which adequately address this concern. You must provide him with a specially-prepared lunch so that he may conduct the afternoon's business on a full stomach.
Possible opposition: Krupky is an outspoken opponent of the Bureau of Inefficiency. They will likely send highly overpaid agents to steal, replace, or tamper with his lunch. You must evade them carefully on your way to the councilchamber.

Please select your equipment for this mission.

The lemonade stand is clearly the better front organization.

SpoilerShow

alright, I want to officially come out and give you mad props for this DF. This is basically the "adventure for every suggestion adventure". You've managed to find creative ways to both use each suggestion and give us insight to a unique world that adventure would hold. I am super impressed. At this juncture I just want to give you decent or challenging fodder to work with.

> this is the wrong strip club.

Jump the queue!

DJ Pantheris: Turn it up!

Angle it 33º vertically, 54º horizontally.

Don't, to disastrous consequences.

Don't forget your spare batteries.

The lemonade stand is clearly the better front organization.

Yeah, you aren't convinced that watermelonade is going to sell that well. You tell Lemonade Inc.'s representative that you're going with their offer for the front yard.
Watermelon Ltd.'s rep storms out angrily. He says you've made a powerful enemy today. Then he pokes his head back in and asks if you can come to his birthday party this Saturday.
You tell him you'll check your schedule. Then you shake hands with Lemonade Inc's representative, and sign the contract.
That went rather well. But now you have to look at your options for the back yard. What sort of business do you want to rent space to over there?

> this is the wrong strip club.

You start sweating profusely as the truth dawns on you. This isn't the Peanuts Club at all! That's why there are so many pictures of orange cats!
Good grief, it's no wonder you're so nervous. What if somebody notices you snooping around? You get the feeling they'll do worse than tell you to go fly a kite.
What are you going to do?

Jump the queue!

You jump your way to the head of the line, without touching the ground of course. 100, 200, 400, 800, 1000, 2000, 4000, 8000... damn, just shy of the 1-Up!
Oh well. You made it into Bowser's Snack Shack, at least. So, what are you going to order?

DJ Pantheris: Turn it up!

Right, okay, you got this.
You're going for the turnips over the radishes for this vegetable sculpture, and you've decided that the subject will be DJ Pantheris. That gives you the perfect title for this piece, too.
But wait! You just remembered that there was talk of him changing his style today at 2 PM... and it's 2:30 now.
You can't have your sculpture be outdated! But if you're not finished with it by the end of class, you're going to fail!
How the heck are you going to find out about DJ Pantheris' new style in time to make sure your turnip sculture matches?

Angle it 33º vertically, 54º horizontally.

You perform the calculations, and place your fishing rod accordingly. That Troutonometry is sure to take the bait!
You wait for motion on your line segment, and... Uh-oh. Looks like you miscalculated - you've hooked a Linear Algebass instead! And it's a nasty one.
You've gone all day without a catch, though. You'd better at least try to pull this one in, proper angling technique or not... but how are you going to solve this problem?

Don't, to disastrous consequences.

Yeah, you've had enough of following these "DO" guidelines! You're going to be a "DON'T" man, through and through!
You look at the pictures again. "DON'T make faces at a grizzly bear with a chainsaw."
Looks like you have your plan for today laid out. Well, except for a couple of key details. Where are you going to find a grizzly bear? And how are you going to get it to pick up a chainsaw?
Most importantly, what sort of face should you make at it?

Don't forget your spare batteries.

That's right!
Yeah, your Assault may have gone down earlier than you expected, but that doesn't mean you can't still use a Battery or two. You toss both on the field, and they soon beat up Extortion and Conspiracy.

That was close. But the match is almost over. You've got five years left before you hit a Life Sentence, your opponent's only got one. That means he's probably just got one Crime left he can play, and it'll be a weak one. You can do this.

So why's the jerk grinning so hard?

"An interesting move. But now it's my turn. Vandalism, go!"

Goddammit!

You totally forgot about Misdemeanors! Hardly any Crime Fighters use them nowadays. But at only 30 day sentences... he could still have eleven more!

Misdemeanors are generally pretty weak - but Vandalism's effects can last even after he's off the field. If he makes good use of the rest of his Record - and from how this match has gone, you're sure he's smart enough to - he might just outlast you.

But it's not over yet. You've got five years of freedom left. What are you gonna do with them?

Uh-oh, flat tire.

>Land ho!

>Land ho!

> Land ho!

> Ho Land!

Lo, Hand!

Camp Lo.

Lo Mein.