The Only Sburbventure

Exposit on what keeps your head within proximity of your body.

Make sure it is long and tedious and doesn't add anything to the story

With the exception that buried about 2/3 of the way through should be some incredibly critical plot detail that will make everything else completely inscrutable if missed.

HUMAN SOCIETY HAS WHAT WE CALL A NECKCESSARILARYNX

Guys you are wasting your time. Don't you read the author's blog?

...[the story process] has largely outgrown the need of reader suggestion; the existing suggestion boxes have long become a formality. With such a massive pool of suggestions at my disposal, I could potentially take the story in any direction, and someone will have already suggested it. Be it a simple command like :"An out of control truck crashed into your living room" or "your name is Racist" the possibilities have become endless. When it comes to basic story progression suggestions such as "who cares?", I don't even bother combing through the suggestions. I know the suggestion is already there, repeated countless times.

Where the old system really becomes tedious is with the so-called "funny" suggestions. "Access memory banks" may seem like a hoot to the casual reader, but it shows they have no comprehension of the creative process. When crafting a story, I can't indulge every immature comedic impulse. This isn't the "joke a week" webcomic. I'm working to build a story with farther reaching implications and utilizing more mediums than any Internet story to date. Like any great artist I can't limit my art to a single creative source (which is also full of all possible avenues)...

[parallels between self and classical world famous painters and musicians]
[thematic analysis of own story and needless numerical analysis]
[religious symbolism]

...I will still take reader input in more subtle ways, such as responding to petty arguments and selling your art and music. Occasionally an idea presented in a thread will influence my thought process and thereby the direction of the story, but of course this is inevitable so the idea is still completely my own and any prediction of the story's direction by a reader is just a lucky guess among a mass of wrong guesses or the result of my well placed intentional foreshadowing...

I guess we could keep this thread as a historical thread, or maybe convert it to an IDE theory thread.

...for a second there I thought that whole thing was an actual hussie quote, rather than just the first paragraph.

which is good because i don't want to have to vomit.

SpoilerShow

if any of that is an actual hussie quote then it is because his particular brand of self-indulgence is so potent the words burned themselves onto my subconscious. Though I do think all of the /aspects/ are things he has said at one point or another.

To be fair to the guy though I would probably be 10x as self righteous as him if I was raking in the dough and praise from my own personalized creative arts project.

ACCESS MEMORY BANKS

Oh yes that's right. You were doing what THAT BLACK GUY WITH THE MAGIC RING AND COOL POWERS AND SHIT was telling you to do. You weren't really paying all that much attention but you think the gist of it was to kill some guys, not kill some other guys and to maybe get him a cup of tea if you happened to spot a cafe on this godforsaken world.

>Ninja of Hindsight: Rise from your Quest Nondescript Patch Of Ground. Your plan worked perfectly!

MEANWHILE IN THE FUTURE:



You awaken in the void of the titans, newly annoited Champion of Pineapples. Man you sure worked hard to get to this point but now you can finally take on that damned Cyborgsaurus.

PSYCHE

No you're still dead for the moment.

But don't worry...



...The Maiden of Kissing is on her way to save you. Legend has it her kisses are so powerful they can revive even those who don't have a dream-self any longer! She probably needs a name or something.

>Ixcaliber

>Maria Susan Thebestenworth

No one ever finds out, they're too busy being kissed.

Ignore all name suggestions, assign name according to arbitrary pattern and then rant about how it was the only acceptable solution.

>Ixcaliber

IXCALI BERRRR

Ah man. Now I want to read puppy mountain.
EDIT: (again)

>Ixcaliber

>Ixcaliber

IXCALIBER stands by his computer because he lost his chair.

What do you want with him, he's a busy man.

All of a sudden, something crashes through the wall!



IXCALIBER is pretty sure she took a wrong turn somewhere.

>Oh well. See if there's anything good on TV.

look how nonplussed i am that someone burst my wall down

thats how i roll; dazed and confused as fuck: always

Tell her that she can help herself to anything in the kitchen!

Ask her who she is!

obligatory sloppy make-outs

> check out the broken wall.

> make it into some sort of forced story plot point.

> Go to www.mspaintadventures.com

>Have an extended story arc in which a bunch of characters who didn't do a whole lot get killed by another character who didn't do a whole lot. During this arc, have the wall be structurally weakened, thereby proving the necessity of the whole arc.

> Have a pesterlog instead of talking to each other

> Have a pesterlog instead of talking to each other

Show Pesterlog:

SpoilerShow

***arthurianKingblade began pestering argumentativeKissmonger
AK: So who are you?
AK: I'm Ixcaliber. Have you seen a dead guy, I'm supposed to kiss him back to life.
AK: And no, I am not doing that sloppy makeouts thing.
AK: Oh, okay.
AK: Hi Ixcaliber, I'm Ixcaliber.
AK: Well, now that that's done, I'm going to go and watch TV.
AK: I guess you can watch too if you want.
AK: Nah, I'm kinda busy.
AK: Oh, but I should check out www.mspaintadventures.com before I go, that's my favorite revolutionary interactive online experience.
AK: Get out of my house.
AK: Right now. I mean it.
AK: I refuse to have my monitor polluted with that dumb webcomic.
AK: It is not a mere 'webcomic'!
AK: It transcends such petty labels. It is a unique work of art, unmatched by any mere human endeavor...
AK: GET OUT!
AK: All right, geez.
AK: I'll look for the dead guy, maybe he'll appreciate artistic genius.
AK: You do that.
AK: I'm going to watch TV.

Image courtesy of Ixcaliber

You are now the incredibly plot-significant hole in the wall. Though an outside observer might erroneously conclude that you were only created today by Ixcaliber smashing through you, you know that to be a vast oversimplification.

The complex-but-inevitable chain of events leading to your existence began months ago, with every fully-documented step in the process being absolutely essential.

Regardless, now you exist and it's time to get on with your critical role in the story. What was that, again?