Meander

>Go on the internet until you get a job like every other day.


The ISP cut off internet access three days ago.

You're not sure if the COMPUTER is judging you too, or is it just projecting that bill pointedly in your face. Bloody ungrateful AI.

> Hum like a normal person and clean your desk.


Clean it?! It's spotless! And perfect as it is!

>Examine certificate. WITH PRIDE.


You examine the CERTIFICATE. You fought long and hard through PRIVATE DETECTIVE ACADEMY to get it, and you are proud of it, dammit. Such a pity it's street smarts that make you a hirable PI, rather than a piece of paper.

> Lovingly pat your companion cube on what may or may not be his head so he knows you still care


You pat your COMPANION CUBE on its upper face. It says nothing, but you get the sense of gratification anyway.

Oop! Looks like your favorite radio play, 'PI Sam Shovel's Shenanigans', is on!

>Walk three blocks to get a cup of organic, fair-trade soy latte macchiato - there's a coffee shop right underneath your place, but you're a filthy hipster.


You are about to sit down with a HOT CUP OF COFFEE for tonight's installment of PI Sam Shovel's Shenanigans when you realize that you do not have a HOT CUP OF COFFEE. Equally suddenly you realize that you can no longer drink normal COFFEE, but instead must have ORGANIC, FAIR-TRADE COFFEE MADE WITH SOY MILK. This strikes you as odd, because you could drink normal COFFEE just fine yesterday.

However, this means that you will need to travel three blocks in the snow to the 'nearby' SUBPARBUCKS to obtain a supply of ORGANIC, FAIR-TRADE COFFEE MADE WITH SOY MILK at INFLATED PRICES. If you do this, you will miss PI Sam Shovel's Shenanigans, thus negating the point.

What will you do?