The 2am thread

I don't want to let people down, or string people along, or... I guess on top of everything else that I regret not being the young person I always wanted to be, and now all of that's slipping away. That just makes me feel... really old, I guess. And I feel that as part of my generation I don't have as many opportunities as my parents did, even if they did come from abject poverty (like they remind me about. Constantly. I guess I shouldn't whine. It's an important lesson to remember that there was once a time when my parents were two meals away from starving).

I just want to be there for people and help them through their hurt, but I can't do that in any way except be there to bear that weight, and there's only so much I can carry. At some point I have to look after myself. How singeresque.

And I worry about being murdered in the street for existing, too. That's also a thing. So I don't go out. I don't stick my neck out and I don't help and I'm not there for people. And I don't experience life like other people do when they're my age.

God, I feel old.

/me sighs.