This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stuff

I gathered a lot of change to get a sproutling Venus Fly Trap. Heading out to my friend to bribe him for his tomorrow since I can't find the place where they're sold. What kind of a person tells you how much something is worth without telling you where to get it from.

Oh well. I hope my friend likes hagglers

What

What is so wrong with a good old-fashioned swattin'

The fact that we are cruel, murderous human beings

alternatively, for some reason febreeze is extremely deadly to insects

which raises the question of how safe it is around your pets and children

What

What is so wrong with a good old-fashioned swattin'

um
for me?
it doesn't work
they are too fast so you must attack the air around them

If you're spraying febreeze all over your children I don't think you've understood its intended purpose

Just wait till they land on something. Then their behavior is more predictable.

(or you can just vacuum them while laughing maniacally at this marvel of mad science. just make sure to empty it outside because they might still be alive and you don’t want your vacuum cleaner to turn into a colony of nope.)

I just wish I lived near a steel foundry or something. Then after catching flies you could just toss the containment bag into a vat of molten slag or a furnace burning bright with the fires of hell.

it would be totally worth your overall shortened life expectancy from living near a steel foundry

What, none of you own active volcanic forges for making your rings of power? No wonder the economy has been so troubled!

What, none of you own active volcanic forges for making your rings of power? No wonder the economy has been so troubled!

It took me a moment to realize what "rings of power" actually referred to, and for that I am sorry.

(At first, my mind leapt to:)

Show Content

Spoiler

No, I’m sorry.

Show Content

SpoilerIt turns out my best friend from high school has been Canadian since birth. MY LIFE IS A LIEEE.

What, none of you own active volcanic forges for making your rings of power? No wonder the economy has been so troubled!

The silly Australians don't
I do though!

It was pretty difficult not setting the volcanoe off with the drilling though

Are you living ON THE SIDE OF IT? I think not

for the record, living near a volcano forge is roughly as bad for your health as the steel foundry

but a bazillion times more awesome

Clearly the solution is to build a steel foundry by the volcano forge, that way they'll cancel each other out!

That's how health risks work, right?

Well, you see, the safety issue, that’s why I live several leagues from my volcano. A mountain range (like my nearby Blue Ridge) is ideal for wizard volcanism* since you can just convert several out and timeshare with other wizards, saving you loads of infrastructure and maintenance costs when you don’t have to get multiple roads built.

The idea that you need a big, ugly, obvious ash-spewing disaster waiting to happen for these purposes is an outdated superstition from when dark lords needed fear to rule. Besides, it’s not the size, it’s how you use it.

* On creating a volcano:
Preliminary matters: Ensure certifications are up to date. In the U.S. in particular, you don’t want the EPA or the IRS breathing down your neck for picking the wrong mountain or poor technique! Attorneys specializing in magical malpractice are expensive due to the extreme expertise required and none has actually qualified to any state bar since 1958. Also make sure you have proper permits for your jurisdiction, though it’s a common law right in my state.

1) Dudge spoobnumby.
2) Respib the oid—carefully.
3) Seal the rethene. You may need to refer to “But what do I do with my left hand?” if you need a quick refresher for this step’s protocol
4) Insert the red fnip before the borloi dries.
5) Cast all appropriate spells. Use the right artifacts if you’ve got ’em.

Congratulations, you are the proud owner of a hidden geologically dubious source of power. Make sure you don’t overflow it! You won’t survive the lava, and besides, it’s embarrassing.

Nah, we just drain the Nether.

Chick Tracts: the Movie!

he's playing it so straight that most of the people who see the kickstarter don't actually understand what he is doing with the project, or understand the context in which it is being done

funding progresses regardless of that

"It's impossible to parody a work of this magnitude" Yes, this is going to be hilarious.

i hope it is truly worthy of what it hopes to accomplish, and not try to ham it like tim and eric

"i am trying really hard to be awkward and not funny because this is what humor is about"

That... wow.

Every once in a while I have to read a John K. rant to remind myself of why I don’t want to.

No egos were teared at all. I actually completely agree with John K, the historian dude didn't seem to get -or at least he misunderstood- JK's point. Disney's acting is terrible and generic, not just "normal"; he pretty much was arguing that while WB's acting was amazing, it was super insane and not deemed like something a normal person would do, which is true, but Disney's generic acting isn't "normal" or "calm" either, it's just generic and dull. And that's something John K is actually great at when he's not doing tasteless toilet humor jokes, his characters are full of subtlety and all that junk yadda yadda, just like WB characters did when they weren't doing insane things.

However, John K is indeed full of himself. It's so upsetting to see such an amazing artist being a jerk.

This is because the animation in Metal Gear...

Um... Yeah i agree, he can't see the art form past funny cartoon shorts. I really do despise realism in animation though, i think it should have some at least some sort of stilization or else you'd be better off using live action.

save for that epic hair thing miyazaki characters do sometimes

they still take the time to do silly normal things in their movement instead of going straight to the point, which i appreciated once it was pointed out