The Adventurer's Battle (Round One: Room 1-0A)

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Oh no i will change it stat

edit: there we go

Whilst the others found themselves jammed into Room 1-0A, Princess Midgardsormr appeared on the stage at the head of Room 1-OA. The room was dimly lit and filled with unfamiliar people seated around tables. They were all dressed for a fancy occasion, the guys in tuxedos and top hats and the girls in sparkling evening dresses with their hair up. It was lucky for Mid that she just so happened to be wearing one of her fanciest black evening dresses when she had been snatched up for this battle. Hung all around the room were fancy dark red and black curtains with the logo of an Eagle emblazoned upon them.

For a moment Mid thought that the crowd was staring at her, expecting her to do something and she struggled to think precisely what that was. Luckily she quickly realized she had appeared in front of the host’s podium and stepped out of the way. The host was a tiny red imp who actually had to stand on a stool to peer over the podium.

he said.

Suddenly one of the curtains around the room went up to reveal a beach scene with a group of women holding spiked metal balls. There was a witch in grey robes holding a red balloon, a girl with long black hair wearing some fashionable clothes and pouting, a female police officer who looked perpetually angry, a black and white woman with curly hair and a cardigan, and a woman with pale green skin and a disturbing tentacled face.

An announcement echoed across the crowd. “And the nominations for Best Playable Female are: The Witch from Magpies, Ataya… I mean Atasha from Sparkklechix, Sergeant Fiona Twombly from You Are Sgt. Twombly, Eva Braun from Mein Kampf and Kgth’goth from Fanglesblath!” There was a slight pause before the voice returned sounding slightly confused. “…And Princess Midgardsormr from Midgardsormr Visits Hades?” There was a confused muttering from the crowd and Midgardsormr herself raised an eyebrow as her name was read out.

She opted to just go with it, and made her way on over to the dodgeball stage. The announcer announced the rules, something he was more confident about. It was more or less just an ordinary game of dodgeball, but with a little more incentive to dodge the balls. As the game began, a train burst through the wall and through the group before crashing off through another wall. In the chaos it seemed that The Witch had vanished, and also that Midgardsormr had used the opportunity to score hits on her opponents who now lay bleeding on the ground.

“And the winner of Best Playable Female is… Princess Midgardsormr I guess…?” The Announcer announced. Midgardsormr held her trophy aloft and grinned.

Shit.

The hotel bed had cushioned Jammroll’s impact in much the same way that the wall hadn’t. Underneath her, however, the bulk of the atomic amp had turned the cheap frame of the equally cheap bed into splinters, which was now poking through various lacerations in the mattress.

The atomic amp was beeping – a very specific set of pitches and sequences that indicated low coolant. This was not nearly as bad as some anti-nuclear proponents would claim, but thorium fluoride was hardly an abundant resource and replacing it would be a bitch if there was an overheat.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

On occasion, she pondered the advisability of carrying around a radiation hazard on her back. But she was fine and there was simply no alternative – no other amplifier could handle Steve’s raw power and translate it into earsplitting but ecstatic symphony. As she thought, she idly picked up the Thunderbolt Bass and plucked a few notes, their sweet low cadence whispering the lilt of a love long unfulfilled, unrequited.

The notes were less music and more the essence behind the musician, more heart than soul and more meaning than phrase. They wafted, spun and sung their part, down through the pipes and walls of the hotel itself.

Unfortunately, they eventually danced into the main hall, where the members of Rubberband, recent winners of Best Musical Adventure, found themselves humming and picking up their instruments from the train-wrought debris…

Jammroll ran a hose from the bathroom sink to the amp, sitting its bulk on the toilet. Slowly, the distress call faded, to be replaced by the much more pleasant idle hum of musical potential. And with the sound of a growing concert downstairs, who could resist adding some bitchin’ bass?

The nagwitch charged up some of her powerful magic and sent out a burst of flame at the zombie dog. It was very ineffective and only served to make her frown in such an angry way that a passing bellboy actually got sick from the spite emitting from her.

Wazda did not enjoy it when her magic did not work. She didn't like a lot of things. She didn't like odd beings who decided that they would have her pointlessly fight seven others. She certainly did not enjoy it when a creature that had failed to willingly pass on. And she certainly did not enjoy it when the same mutt did not pass on after she sent one of her spells in its direction. And perhaps, more than anything else, she did not like being called fat! (Even if it was somewhat impllied.) Wazda clenched her fist and charged a large ball of flame.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that when some possibly insane ghost lady raises her hand up and begins to conjure up a giant ball of flame, you turn tail. While the unconscious bellboy beckoned for entry into his maw, he reluctantly ran the hell away from the insane purple lady.

Normally, the distance that the dog placed in between them wouldn't actually be enough for the surprising amount of magic and spite flowing through the ghost witch. However, to the luck of the people in the vicinity of her giant ball of fire, she suddenly caught a case of the hiccups.

"HICCUP!"
The extremely powerful hiccups made the spirit jump vertically ascend higher up the hotel floors.

Right behind where she used to be, a non-descript man with hiccups, felt cured. He breathed for a few moments, trying to see if it had really happened, if he was truly free. "I.. I can speak... normally. Without hiccups! THIS IS WONDE-HICCUP."

Upon seeing that his curse had not left him, the man simply turned around, slowly wiping the tears that began to form...

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the amount of time that i spent not posting here is inexcusable and I am sorry