World Denimation

You are Jean (pronounced John) Jortsman, clad head to toe in the worlds scratchiest uncomfortable BEST fabric. you aim to achieve world denimation (pronounced donimation). You stand alone in a field, staring up at the sun. Please stop that, you'll hurt your eyes. You appear to be in a public park, grass and trees and... people, everywhere

People not wearing denim

Your singular, only goal in life is to clad the world in jeans (pronounced jeans) and tear down the competition. When everyone appreciates, nay, LOVES this fabric as much as you, surely we will achieve peace on Jearth.

On your body is your trusty jean bag with all of your necessary jequipment, as well as your aforementioned luxurious jean bodysuit. How will you begin your quest to convert the world to love your favorite fabric?

Put on a Jade necklace, except the necklace is also made of denim.

climb a tree

denim is the ideal tough fabric to handle rough bark

>Consider the benefits of corduroy.

Pull out your Jote pad, and start jotting down some jotes with your jencil on how to convert the world to the glorious fabric of Denim.

What is your favorite type of denim?

Put on a Jade necklace, except the necklace is also made of denim.

You are already wearing your majestic Jade (jean jade) necklace! Some people (mostly just you. Okay, actually, just you) say that this necklace has mystical powers of the almighty Jods, but frankly the only power you've seen it display is the power to know what someone looks like wearing a jade necklace. Nonetheless, your aesthetic is met, and this will surely prove extremely important in your quest to denimate the world.

stop pussyfooting around and pull out the big juns.

You pull from your jean bag a jun, examining it. This is a Tshirt cannon that has been modified to fire jeans and other denim-related articles of clothing. You clip it to your supply jelt. It is loaded with one pair of jeans, and you have about three more articles of denim in your bag.

Consider the benefits of corduroy.

You don't even give this a single thought. How dare some inferior fabric attempt to cross your jind. You shake your head, steadfast in your quest to coat the world in the loveliest blue fabric. If anyone even offered your corduroys, you would have no qualms about shooting them with your Jean Jannon.

Pull out your Jote pad, and start jotting down some jotes with your jencil on how to convert the world to the glorious fabric of Denim.

What is your favorite type of denim?

You've never been able to decide your favorite type of the most luxurious of fabrics. They're all so appealing! You've decorated your body with some of the classics, your pressed denim jean jacket, your ring denim jape, your overtwisted polycore facejask, open end denim joots...
And of course, the magnum opus, your all natural 100% home-grown demin jorts, from which you get your name.

You quickly acquire your jote pad and jencil, looking over plans you've had in the past. Ah yes, the plan to hijack the world's nuclear arsenals and fill all the missiles with jeans. That one is a jlassic. I mean classic.

...No, wait, I mean jlassic.

You jot that one down in the margjin

climb a tree

denim is the ideal tough fabric to handle rough bark

You walk towards the nearest tree and grab on, your jloves and joots making the climb quite easy. You make your way to the top, sitting on one of the taller branches. From up here you can see a few blocks in every direction clearly. Your jape (jean cape) flaps triumphantly in the breeze.
In the distance off to the west you can see the expansive city you live in, block after block of concete and not jeans. To the east, you see a small pond with a dog run next to it, a few families playing with dogs. To the north, the park you're in gives way to a more forest-y area, the trees darker and packed closer.
Which jath do you choose to further your jission?

Go see the dogs!! perhaps you could make them...
jogs

>Go to the pond with dogs. Dogs don't even wear clothes, let alone jeans. This CANNOT stand!

Go see the dogs!! perhaps you could make them...
jogs

Go to the pond with dogs. Dogs don't even wear clothes, let alone jeans. This CANNOT stand!

After much deliberation, you decide to leave the tree and head towards the dog park. Those dogs aren't clad in the world's greatest fabric, and it is up to you and you alone to solve this dilemma. You hold a pair of jeans above your head to use as a parachute, billowing it out above your head, and jumping towards the ground below.

You land rather unceremoniously with a loud thud. The few people who weren't already staring at your denim-clad ass are now staring. Good job.

You dust yourself, take a deep breath, and jog (jean jog) over towards the dog run and pond. Upon arriving several of the dog owners stare wide-eyed at you. They think you look ridiculous, but frankly, their overall lack of denim compared to you is simply blasphemous. You realize you have been staring at these dogs and these people for approximately 5 minutes.

One person, roughly in their 20s, comes up to you. "Um... can we help you?" they ask, a confused look on their face. You look back at them. How should you respond, or what should you do to respond?

It may be exhausting, but you should use your jichic powers of jeanslavement to quickly turn this man into your loyal jinion.

>"It's not about how you can help me, but how I can help you." With glistening tears in your eyes, go into a great passionate speech about the beauty and majesty of denim.

It may be exhausting, but you should use your jichic powers of jeanslavement to quickly turn this man into your loyal jinion.

You focus for a minute, attempting to utilize your jichic jean powers. Every fibre of your being (and clothes) glows blue as you channel the powers of the Denimental jods. You hold your hand out towards the person.

They are unaffected.

You fool. You absolute disgrace to all that is denim. You fucking moron. You cannot use your jichic powers on someone not WEARING DEMIN! This person is wearing track pants!! And A t-shirt!!! What were you even thinking, how are you going to resolve this i-

juck it

joot them with the jannon.

you were jobviously going to do this anyway

...oh, right, that works.

You lower your hand and grab the Jean Jannon, pointing it at the person and immediately pulling the trigger. A demin jacket hits them in the face with enough force that they fall backwards onto their ass. You re-clip the jun and quickly re-lift your hand. Yes. Yes. Finally. You have succeeded in gaining your first jinion. You look proudly back at the other people as your new jinion dons the denim jacket.

Two of them appear to be calling the police. Shit.
The person you jontrolled seems to be ignoring their dog. You shove another demin jacket in the jean jannon and, in a panic, shoot one of the people calling the cops. People are walking towards you. This is now an issue.

What are you going to do?

use your juperpowered jean jump and jump jean jactory-ways. your newly-denim-donned jinions can. uh. do whatever

bec0me the jevil, s0 y0u can d0 anything

>quick jinion, to the turbocop-I mean JurboJopter!
>Or, you know. demonstrate to your audience just how good jeans are for running. Not away, no, no. Just, uh. 'An extended demonstration away from the people'. Yes. That.