Grand Tweet III (Round Three: Big Tree)

REPORT: DAY 3723, THE SPARROWS HAVE STOPPED SINGING, GOD-BIRD STILL SLUMBERS.

REPORT: DAY 3724, PJ FINDS PROCESSING ROOM. HE IS UNWELCOME.

He knows! Squirrels, charge!

PJ FENDS OFF CRAZY SQUIRRELS WITH BRANCH

It was the bloodiest day in squirrel history.

And it wasn't over.

PJ, STILL GREEN, FLEES, HIDES IN FOLIAGE - NEVER TOOK A BATH.

OLD WOUND FROM DOG BITE STARTING TO THROB

Reinforcements from other trees arrive, all aiming for PJ.

The white blood cells have already blocked off the immune system, wound festers.

EDITORIAL: In these few fleeting moments, I wonder what depths my soul shall...oh hey a magic waterbottle.

AMPLE JUNK IN TREE, PJ PREPARES

Five minutes to go, and after glancing through both the current round and the battle as a whole, I think I have to go with Bob as the winner here.

Really enjoying the round, now finish it off.

The army of adorable woodland critters started making ballistas.

This will be the final battle.

d'Artagnan readies his mind.

REPORTER FINDS CHARRED SKULL, HAIR INTACT. BEGINS WHIPPING.

ATTEMPT TO CLEAN WOUND WITH WATERBOTTLE LEADS TO BLOWN OFF HAND, WATER LASER

Whipping causes great winds, blows critters away.

Water laser decimates tree.

d'Artagnan is no more.

Squirrels mourn delicious nougat.

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This was a lot of fun, for what it's worth.

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I had fun too! I think we played off each other really well!

The Bird yawned.

"That was a nice long nap. Is it over? Good. Congratulations, PJ. You can go home now."

PJ RETURNS HOME! DIES OF BLOODLOSS, INFECTION

RIP PJ REGENT - HE TALKED A LOT ABOUT SQUIRRELS

"More stuff for the tree," The Bird mused.

Oh man there was a third Grand Tweet!? That was awesome. Also: Solaris was right.

I feel compelled to mention that GMT+10 no longer exists because of this battle.

What have you done.