IsleEnture 3 - Beyond Philipdome

You are PHILLIP, once more, a smallish man from a smallish island within the decidedly not so smallish sea.

Boy howdy the adventures you've had to get to this moment, man, what an epic journey that was, when you narrowly defeated the DREAD PIRATE QUEEN SEKRET, and her legions of SALTY DAGS, and looky you, you've got such a nice hat to commemorate the occasion. You just about saved the SEA PRINCESS PENNY-P and boy do you hope to see her again, what a SWEET P she was, gosh darny you are getting flustered just thinking about that, mhmm, those were some sweet adventures.

But alas as is rapidly becoming a trend with Philip he has squandered all his gains and once ended up strandidoed upon yet another Small island within the confines of what one might describe as a small sea if they were a dumbass with no sense of SCALE.

So, decidedly armed with your own ACTUALIZATION, what do want to NOW?

Gather supplies, that sword looks handy.

>Build a sand castle shrine around that sword to start a lucrative tourist attraction.

>Build a sand castle shrine around that sword to start a lucrative tourist attraction.



You build a right nice JAPANESE STYLE SHRINE around the mysterious sword lodged in this wayward islet. Boy howdy Philip what nice work, man oh man, the tourists will be coming in droves any time now, or well they would if this wasn't an uncharted isle in the middle of the ocean, but you know what good hustle it's initiative like this that's gotten you outta of all kinds of jams in the past, and almost certainly will continue to do so in the future.

>Free the sword from the small Isle, sexily.



Come Again?
Phillip, let this be a lesson to- now Phillip, I see you eyeing up that sword there, now Phil, come on now, what would PENNY-P think? Yeah that's right, she would be right upset if she found out you were canoodling with strange swords found on tiny islets now wouldn't she, now you settle your jimmies right down.

>Retrieve Sword in an entirely ordinary fashion.



Da-da-da-daaaaaa
Look see, you did it, you got THE SWORD OF BEGINNINGS. Wow, that's, uh, that's a pretty ostentatious name for such an ordinary looking sword, innit? Well who'm I to judge such things, who knows, this could be THE MOST IMPORTANT SWORD EVER FORGED...
Or it could just be an ordinary rusty sword, either or, at any rate it is most certainly a sword.

>Next



You sort that out in your unfortunately vacated inventory, man think of all the nice things you used to have in there Phil? Man, all those things were so great, let's not bring them up *sniff* It makes me too emotional to think of all the swag you once had.

>Use the sword to give those sharks knighthood. They are your noble knights now, send them forth to do your bidding.

climb a tree

climb a tree

i second this proposal

>Use the sword to give those sharks knighthood. They are your noble knights now, send them forth to do your bidding.



You beckon the sharks over to you in a series of esoteric gestures and wiggling, thankfully you learned the art of SHARK DIPLOMANCY from your misadventure in the UNDERSEA KINGDOM OF AQUAFANTIS during your adventures to escape the wrath of PIRATE QUEEN SEKRET.
You make sure to take stay upon your tiny SAND SHRINE, mostly because it'll make it more official, but also because the tiny islet is more stable than trying to knight people while treading water.

>Next



You dub the one on the left SIR SHARKEY GEORGE, knight-commander of SEA COVENTRY and protector of the realm, and the one on the right you dub SIR DAGR SEASTRIDER, Anime-Prince of AUSTIN, a title Philip here is certain carries no implications to anyone across any hypothetical plane of reality, real or otherwise.

Now go knights, patrol these waters in the interest of your new master KING PHILIP, is that what we're calling ourselves now eh? Maybe hold your horses there, Phil, I know you've got the heart of a Princess but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

>OH WHATS THAT SHINY THING!?



Shiny thing where!?!?

Is it over here? By these posts??

Goddamn it Phillip why aren't you more on top of these things, we all missed something fantastical I'm sure... ah well let's get ourselves overly beaten up about it, que sera, sera and all that jazz.

>climb a tree



You climb a local palm tree like a spazmatic sloth hopped up on way too many stimulants and needing to desperately let out its energy because you know its a sloth, it's not used to being this AMPED.

>Next



>Next



As Phillip is wont-to-do whenever he climbs up a suitably tall surface, he takes the time to do some sightseeing.
Well see, on this side theres not much to see, sure there's some additional islands, but alas Phil here can't make heads, tails, or bulges of whether they're really far away or super close and small, being as in spite of his many accomplishments and boons from royalty of various distinctions he has not solved his most daunting problem.
Depth Perception.

>Next



And on this side- Oh sweet nanna's tricky ghost, what on earth is that!

It appears to be some sort of SQUID MONSTER, or maybe an OCTOPUS DEMON, it could be either or, and frankly neither option is especially uplifting. Philip can do nothing but gradually perspire rounds of ammo, being as his aforementioned perennial lack of depth perception continues to prevent him from reasonably range-finding that beast.

One thing is for certain THE SUN certainly seems more than a little put off, by the ol beastie.

>Communicate with the sun. Ask it about its favorite films.
>Act out that famous football game from the 70's. Grab a coconut for the ball and run through the posts to score a touchdown.

Create a regal throne and sit between the posts

Go hang out with the squid thing!

>Communicate with the sun. Ask it about its favorite films.



Philip I really don't think this is the time, no I'm not saying that the Sun isn't into the TERMANTRO Movies, I'm just saying that the Sun is probably a little pre-occupied with that CEPHALOPEDIC HELLSTRAND, what does that mean, you ask? Well it's a Cephalopod, It's Demonic, and that's really all there is to say about it.
The Sun of course is indeed, a little too pre-occupied to field your questions about what movies it likes, but I imagine it has a fondness for the film CHARLIE'S ANGELS, why you ask, I don't know, seems like the kind of a film a SUNNY GUY would enjoy, wouldn't it? No? Ah, just me then.

>Act out that famous football game from the 70's. Grab a coconut for the ball and run through the posts to score a touchdown.





You take the BALL, you LINE UP, the SHOT, and you prepare to score. The Bases are hot, but Philip is hotter, you only have one chance, ONE OPPORTUNITY. You see the drive, clear as daylight.

>Next



GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!

>Next



You realize at about this time that Philip doesn't actually know all that much about sports, and likely never will.

>Create a regal throne and sit between the posts



You acquire some palm fronds and seaweed and assemble a SEAWEED THRONE, and pretend toREIGN OVER THIS TINY ISLE LIKE THE REAL NOT FAKE MONARCH YOU ARE...
Wow, seriously?
Phillip we're going to need to have a long discussion at some point about you're delusions of grandeur, I mean, seriously, a king? Wow.

>Next



You suddenly find yourself disapperated from this present point in space and possibly time.

>Next





Well now, where the hell is this?

Where did your hat go????

>You lost your hat and medal... OH MY GOSH YOU'RE NAKED! Quickly, cover your shame!

Gaze deeply into the swirly box

>You lost your hat and medal...



Oh sweet alabaster god-kids Phillip what happened, you're distinguished MEDAL OF VALORIOUS WONDERKIND, granted for serviced rendered to KING DASHING-JAY in return for saving his daughter, and the FEZTETCH OF THE ARBITRAX, almight haberwear of the King of Pluck, how could you let these things slip off of you like that, what are you some kind of stupid dumbass idiot Phillip????
And worst of all...

>OH MY GOSH YOU'RE NAKED! Quickly, cover your shame!



Good phantasms of of divine conflagration, cover your shame Phil, don't you know THAT CHILDREN ARE WATCHING*, cover your spicy being-pecs, didn't you used to have soe stylish COCONUTS for this task? Whatever happened to them Phillip, between slaying OBSTEODRAX and getting shanghighed on a grandiose pirate-themed caper, WHAT HAPPENED.

Oh whatever, Phil, sure, don't tell us.

*Children are infamously always watching.

>oh whats that..(looks at robot) [b]SHINY GLOWY CUBE[/b]





You gaze upon the SPIRAL JUJUBE, how do you know it's called that? Well I mean look at it, what else would you call something like that, it's SPIRALLY, it's green, and it's a Juju. Whatever the heck a "Juju" is, is that like Kujo? Phillip be careful that cube might give you rabies.

>Gaze deeply into the swirly box



You GAZE yet deeper into the depths of the JUJUBE, as your singular occulus swirls transfixed into the ever expanding spirals of the mystic arcanum you find yourself absorbed into REALMS OF NARRATIVE WHIMSY, the likes of which you, a simpleton who still doesn't know how to read, cannot possibly fathom.
A dashing tune starts playing in your mind, you cannot grasp it's purpose of it's quality,and indeed the textual nature of your internal monologue makes it difficult to transcribe.

DOODEE DOODEE DOODEE

It would sound something like that, you think.

DOODEE DOODEE DOODEE

DOODEE DOODEE DOODEE

Yeah like that, over and over and over again.

Swirls of COLORS and sometimes of MAYHEM, mostly in shades of GREEN weasel into your mind and proceed to FLIP THE FUCK OUT, causing you to develop a minor migraine, you proceed to stop gazing into the JUJUBE.

>Next.



Yeah, you've got no idea what the hell this thing is doing or what it's for.
You stick it in your inventory anyway.

>_

>What's the white ball in front of the gate? It's the only thing the same color as you, but it was there before you arrived...

>Quickly grab that coconut and fashion it into something stylish to wear.
>Go give that robot the good-cop/bad-cop routine. He knows something and you're not going to rest until he spills it.

>Investigate data terminal.

>What's the white ball in front of the gate? It's the only thing the same color as you, but it was there before you arrived...



It's a Coco-Nut.
Philip Kicked it into the gate-posts earlier, remember.

>Quickly grab that coconut and fashion it into something stylish to wear.



You fashion the COCONUT into a stylish COCONUT BRASSIER, in a nostalgic callback to simpler times. Remember, Phil, when you're biggest problem was figuring out how to coordinate a dozen arms, and not weird teleporters and SPIDER QUEENS.
Excuse me, *PIRATE QUEENS.

>Go give that robot the good-cop/bad-cop routine. He knows something and you're not going to rest until he spills it.



Yeah you think you're going to... ... ...

>walk past that boring robot-corpse-whatever into the next room on the right



Yeah that, exactly, what else were you thinking, nothing that's what.

>Next





>Next



Well this is certainly a hallway of certain mystery innit Phillip.

>_

>That guy... Had a really nice hat. You want it.
>Oooh. Go check out that plant. Pocket it if you can.
>What's this big red carpet doing in here?

Type randomly in the computer to see if someone responds.