The Neverywhere Inn

> Have a taste of Drak's music

>Introduce yourself with much bluster and fanfare. Arm's outstretched, foot on the table, like addressing the audience at a metal concert. Maybe the outburst is a little too loud.

Skulk by the corner and look for something bloody on the snacks table

Read Posters, Reminders and the general mood of the room, Then Acquaint yourself with all of the beings in it. Make sure to grant Dakn all due reverence.

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A/Neven if I don't use a suggestion for the prompt it was intended, you can bet I'm filing away them deets for later ;0

Skulk by the corner and look for something bloody on the snacks table

...help themselves to something edible. They approach a long, collapsible table set up by the vending machines and search the plates for fresh meat.

NAME never told the Innkeeper what they like. There are a few racks of raw, bloody ribs laid out anyway. No-one but the Innkeeper knows what those ribs belonged to, but NAME's hunger doesn't discriminate, and they tear into them with gusto.

Read Posters, Reminders and the general mood of the room, Then Acquaint yourself with all of the beings in it. Make sure to grant Dakn all due reverence.

NAME turns to the closest of many memos present.

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Hmmm....

It's a reminder not to shake the vending machines when they jam.

The other notes are similarly instructive: Wash your hands (or equivalent appendages) before handling the communal tableware; turn off the lights if you're the last person leaving a room; kindly refrain from scent-marking the breakroom couches, Inn furnishings belong to everyone; opening rifts in spacetime on Neverywhere Inn premises is forbidden and punishable by termination...

Boring.

NAME figures they should become acquainted with their new colleagues, starting with... ah. The turtle child is closest by. NAME taps them on the shoulder with a single claw.

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Socialization en cours...

MAU
Wah!
Oh, h-hello. You startled me. Umm...
You have something on your chin.

NAME touches their chin, and their claw comes away bloody. Hm! They clear it away with a swipe of their forked, black tongue.

MAU
That's better. Um, it's nice to meet you.

MAU rises on their tiptoes and squints at NAME's name tag. They blink in surprise.

MAU
Is that your real name? I'm Mau.

And NAME replies...

In an eldritch tongue, forbidden to all but NAME's kind, Vibrations caused by the last gasp of dying stars transmitted through the aether so as to vibrate the appropriate molecules,
(Completely indistinguishable from a light cockney accent, if you don't know that little trivia tidbit)
That they are delighted to meet their tiny coworker and that they were not entirely sure what that part of the questionnaire was on about.

> IT IS RUDE TO DOUBT MY NAME, SMALL CREATURE. YOUR EXISTENCE MEANS NOTHING TO THE RIVER OF TIME.
> *Cough* Hey, sorry about that. You do music?

> Yo no hablo inglés

With a series of clicks and screeches that don't seem to match the shapes their mouth is making

Some people on Discord were talking about how Name looks a little naked right now and should probably go get an employee uniform, so I made them one:

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Nsfw?

"No. Is Mau your real name?"

>My real name would melt your brain and shatter reality.

>I have really convenient appellative amnesia. Its common in my kind.

(Also, we looked ridiculous in that picture)

>are names food, can you eat a name

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suggestions taken

In an eldritch tongue, forbidden to all but NAME's kind, Vibrations caused by the last gasp of dying stars transmitted through the aether so as to vibrate the appropriate molecules,
(Completely indistinguishable from a light cockney accent, if you don't know that little trivia tidbit)
That they are delighted to meet their tiny coworker and that they were not entirely sure what that part of the questionnaire was on about.

With a series of clicks and screeches that don't seem to match the shapes their mouth is making

"No. Is Mau your real name?"

... with a series of scathing noises that don't match the shapes their mouth makes at all.

MAU's wide eyes grow wider. A shiver runs up the spines of the breakroom's inhabitants. DAKN's feathers ruffle; he hops on GRETEL's shoulder and whispers something that escapes NAME's earshot.

MAU
Uh.

MAU swallows, hard. The cymbals strapped to their knees quiver ever-so-slightly.

MAU
I'm sorry, I didn't, um, catch that.

NAME clears their throat and tries again. (One might consider their speaking voice akin to a 'light Cockney accent', depending on one's homeworld.)

NAME
no. is mau your real name?

MAU
Well, yes! Is using a fake name common around here?
The other musician, he's got his DJ pseudonym on his
name tag... I wonder if it's a trend I'm not in on.

NAME
unlikely. my true name is beyond your
comprehension, small creature. regardless,
i am d̩̳el͏i̞̺̜̠̻g̭͇̰̤̞̺ht҉̹͙e̲̪̩͚d͠ to make your acquaintance.

NAME holds out a single claw in an approximation of a handshake. MAU's fingers barely fit around the digit. Their eyes travel up NAME's body, from socks to featureless, mannequin-like head.

MAU
Those are, um, pretty nice socks.
Are you gonna get a uniform like
the rest of us, or...

NAME
....?

MAU
You look a little... out of place.
Aesthetically, I mean.

Which is to say: very, very naked.

I'm sticking with this

Some people on Discord were talking about how Name looks a little naked right now and should probably go get an employee uniform, so I made them one:

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Nsfw?

>I will wear a single shred of the uniform around my neck like an ascot, and not a thread more.

>I will concede to wearing pants, but that's it

>What? We're in an inn that's practically nowhere but also somehow everywhere. How am I out of place? But nevertheless, I feel awkward looking like this.

Inform Delightful Small Creature that you have yet to be given your Uniform. Apologise if the unbound Resplendence of your form has in any way discomforted them. Assure them, that had you not been wearing your socks, The Wonder Of Your Visiage would have caused the local Reality To Tremble In Delight. Unluckily, for Tiny Coworker and then Inn in general, These are really comfortable socks

>The uniform doesn't seem like it would provide any function as armour, but you'd be willing to wear it for this new friend.

>*noise of splitting flesh* Smile, say "Yes, if you could direct me to the 'uniform'."

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suggestions

>I will concede to wearing pants, but that's it

>The uniform doesn't seem like it would provide any function as armour, but you'd be willing to wear it for this new friend.

>*noise of splitting flesh* Smile, say "Yes, if you could direct me to the 'uniform'."

NAME
i have yet to receive this new 'uniform'.
it seems lacking in protective qualities.

MAU
I think it's more about aesthetic unity than protecting us.
What do you need armor for, anyway...? This is probably
the safest place in the In-Between anyone can be!

NAME nods slowly. The DELIGHTFUL SMALL CREATURE named MAU has a point. The sound of splitting flesh accompanies their smile. Mau almost manages to suppress a shiver.

NAME
if one can direct me to a pair, i'll wear the pants.

They seem relieved.

MAU
When the supervisor gets here, don't forget to
ask them! I think it's weird they didn't give you
clothes before the orientation. I got mine right
after the interview. Good luck, though!

NAME thanks MAU for their well-wishes and looks around. DRAK has left the conversation pit to help GRETEL and DAKN dislodge a soda can from the mouth of a vending machine. There are a few minutes left to kill before orientation.

NAME spends their last pants-less moments...

Inspecting the walls for feral leprechauns.

>Demand Mau plays a song. You can spend this time doing the waiting dance.

Demonstrating their vending machine wrangling abilities. The ones around here are young, Docile and tame, compared to those that roam your homeworld