Good patent ideas

A tentacle tabernacle

guitars that sound like flutes

Trees which grow money

the perfect place for shade, i feel

A spray-on paint that makes you look invisible, but only when no one's watching.

guitars that just make rattling noises

Pizza that functions as a vacuum.

That way, you all would believe me when I say pizza sucks.

hey no one's patented murder yet! I can make a killing off of that

hey no one's patented murder yet! I can make a killing off of that

lamp that shoots photons (fast)

david! Where have you been all this time?

A kind of roll-up twine that you can also use to store your old paperbacks.

away...

irreversible inner ear damage

machine for sleep apneists that sucks out all the air instead of blowing it in

inflatable giraffe

inflatable giraffe

this, only fuckable

chocalte flavored chicken nuggets

vacuum tubes, only this time they last

vacuum tubes, only this time they last

i don want no goddamned transistors messing with my vacuum tubes

button installed on skin that tells you what is human and what isn't

lizards that can live in your hair and eat your dandruff for you

firehose that shoots nacho cheese instead of water

firehose that shoots out actual fire

elton john's ghost

john milton's ghost