The Walton Official Discussion and Fan Works

I am Sam Walton, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

'No!' says the man in GoodWill, 'It belongs to the poor.'

'No!' says the man in the Salvation Army, 'It belongs to God.'

'No!' says the man in Publix, 'It belongs to everyone.'






I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible.

I chose... Walmart.

A store where the person not wearing a shirt would not fear the censor, where the man who walks in at 3am would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great prices would not be constrained by the low quality! And with the sweat of your brow, Walmart can become your city as well.

Do you agree that Walmart is your city, kind folks of Hawkspace?

Walmart had Switches when no one else would

Loading screen text for the Sam Walton Walmart game

"There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else." - Sam Walton Our Humble Leader

"When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

- George Target

Wheat spends a turn building a fishing gear barricade. Wheat finds a net. A perfect tool to catch low prices and daily deals only offered at walmart.

I got trapped (walled in, if you will) in a Walmart for 6 days and it made me a better person.

I got trapped (walled in, if you will) in a Walmart for 6 days and it made me a better person.

If the Walton stood in front of you, right now. What would you rate your 6 days stuck in walmart?

Out of 10. 10 being the best.

I got trapped (walled in, if you will) in a Walmart for 6 days and it made me a better person.

if only 'twere me...

I got trapped (walled in, if you will) in a Walmart for 6 days and it made me a better person.

If the Walton stood in front of you, right now. What would you rate your 6 days stuck in walmart?

Out of 10. 10 being the best.

I'd give it a 7/10, and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "hey Reyweld doesn't understand Walmart and is bad at giving ratings" but if THE Walton was standing in front of me I would do anything for him. Anything. And Walton doesn't want any Yes Men, so I've given a 7/10 with deductions from each of the following: 1 point for no "Have a nice day" after I left having been there for 6 days, 0.5 points for no lighting, 0.5 points for no bathroom, and 1 point for the candy vending machines not taking bills. Overall it was an amazing experience and I hope Walton smiles over me as he covers my hospital bed with coupons.

Asia/pacific server when

Already exists.

Already exists.

Sei's yu

sometimes when im feelin down
life got me goin like a clown
i read through all the walton's thread
then i feel alove, no longer dead

I was given a 10 dollar gift card to Walmart from a friend, and I haven't spent it out of reverence and being unable to spend it exactly without leaving a single glorious cent wasted (or tainting it with use of external cash).

just find something that costs exactly 8 dollars and 85 cents before tax. or items that altogether cost 8 dollars and 85 cents.

M
mcy ds

i have unleashed a powerful sigil upon this thread. spend money and goods and purchases will come to you, save money and sam walton will welcome you upon the astral plane. use this opportunity wisely.

Thank you for this sigil