The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Adler:You are in NO mood for this. How dare they intrude and help themselves. Pull the hatchet out of the skull and use its screaming to shoo them outdoors. Whatever they have to tell you, they can tell you through the window from outside in the rain. While you and your companions relax indoors with a nice pot of tea, you're trying to prove a point.

Or

>Adler: Break down into a blubbering mess of petulant tears. Why does nothing ever go your way?

(Scuti Trio) Gloat. Also ask why Prince Adler doesn't have any mustard for the ham.
(Mouse (?) Scuti) Start hiccoughing, and murmuring Gnostically that all is ham.
(Burnside) Be put in a small metal carrying box. With a very stout lock.
(Jack) Be put in a box that Gertrude produces.
(HSH Prince Adler) Note that the box has various manufacturer's marks on it.
(HSH Prince Adler) Recall your grandfather's law on automatona.
(HSH Prince Adler) Check scrying reception to see if Redbough can be reached.
(Bunneh Maiden) Start asking about sleeping arrangements.
(Argument) Over sleeping arrangements. Break out, noisily.
(Argument) Be stopped by Adler removing the Axe.
(Gertrude) Be very sad and unhappy. Put flowers on Jack-in-the-Box.
(C. O'D) Make a very surprise nocturnal visit. To what end?

(C. O'D) Resolve the sleeping arrangements. Your way.
(Dissent) Do not break out.

>Adler: Alice has a working Discombobulator array. "Borrow" it temporarily.

>Unknown Rodent avec Scuti: Once Jack is up and running, suggest that your Scuti take him out for a test drive.

>Burnside: Suggest some Unseelie things to do to the Unknown Rodent once his Scuti is away. Just because.

>Ham: Suddenly violently react to everyone who's eaten it.

>Adler: They're not here on a social call, they want something from you. Considering how meddling in Sisterhood affairs has brought you nothing but misery be unwilling to help.
>The mouse: Have some information that can be accessed once your scuti is unplugged. Be used as a bargaining chip.
>Gertrude: Possess a surprising skill, you weren't always just a maiden-snatcher after all.

I can feel that a big confrontation is approaching soon. Have we entered the final parts of the Ballad?

Adler > Recognize the rat as the one you meet in prison. is that the scuti you liberated from the lab?

Alice & mara > laugh seeing adler in a maiden regalia. ask adler if he misses being Relda

Adler > Tell them thats lowfolk ham!

Scuti rat > Delicious! This must be prime cut noble ham. Rich, Fat, Juicy!

Adler > Wonder what Queen Edessa is pregnant with... will it be a fox? skunk? ungulate? chimera? Be troubled but realize nothing can be done now

Adler > tell the scuti that you hope they are not planning to stay as there is hardly any beds here except the hammock. (unless the scuti's can build cabin extensions)

Adler, remove your maiden disguise.
Gertrude, realize with some shock that Adler is not actually a woman. Then recognize him immediately. Have a message for him from another operative that's too sensitive to be passed by an ixie.
Also recognize Alice and Mara as "The Duchess's people" that you've always dealt with. Confess that you've never actually even met the Duchess herself.

Alice, take a look at Jack. Discover that his "name" module is incorrectly inserted and only registers the word "George". Also, that his volume slider is stuck on high. Offer to upgrade him using some of your own logic modules, which are only used when a scuti pilot is not present anyway, so their absence shouldn't affect you.
Jack, be equipped with a backup magic capacitor in order to be able to function in the low world for a while. Alice, admit to being recently upgraded with one as well.

Thomson, report your status back to the capitol. Receive a reply that indicates that she wasn't expected to even last this long.

Adler, try questioning Burnside about her behaviour. Also find interesting that she knew about Jack's discombobulator array.

Burnside, be revealed to have once been bitten by a small piranha in an enchanted stream and was thus cursed to become a were-piranha whenever bathing under the light of the moon, and also to have uncontrollable blood rages whenever she smells blood, or just feels like it. Also, already be a remorseless psychopath before that happened.

Alice, commend Fifi on her choice of motivational decorations. Fifi, giggle a lot.


Percy, somehow manage to free yourself. Quickly write down what you learned, then attempt to enter the gate.
Residual energy left over from the simultaneous crossing of such a large number of people (and Jack's magic capacitor), keep the gate ajar enough to allow Percy's wards to open it again and allowing him to cross (but not cross back).
Percy, find yourself on the other side. Then pick a direction and start walking, taking notes along the way.

(Scuti Trio) Gloat. Also ask why Prince Adler doesn't have any mustard for the ham.
>Adler: They're not here on a social call, they want something from you. Considering how meddling in Sisterhood affairs has brought you nothing but misery be unwilling to help.
Adler > Recognize the rat as the one you meet in prison. is that the scuti you liberated from the lab?
Alice & mara > laugh seeing adler in a maiden regalia. ask adler if he misses being Relda
Adler > Tell them thats lowfolk ham!
Scuti rat > Delicious! This must be prime cut noble ham. Rich, Fat, Juicy!
Adler > Wonder what Queen Edessa is pregnant with...

"I am not interested in any of your shadowy dealings," I sulked. "It was the Sisterhood that got me into my present predicament."

"Somehow I don't think the Sisterhood is responsible for you being dressed like a sacrificial maiden," Alice scoffed. "Perhaps there is something you'd like to confess?"

"You looked much cuter as Relda Fauxfox," Mara quipped around a mouthful of ham.

"Huh?" Fifi asked from the doorway.

"By Fuma, there's two of them," Alice observed as she took another bite of her sandwich.

"You do realize you're eating lowfolk ham, right?" I sneered. "You've got a lot of nerve, barging in here uninvited and abusing my hospitality."

"But you are honor bound to offer hospitality to travelers," Mara pointed out.

"You call this hospitality?" the rat piped up. "There isn't even any mustard!"

"Aren't you that rat I met in prison?" I asked. "And are you wearing the Scuti I took from the SALVs' laboratory?"

"My host and I made a little deal with the Marshal," the rat sneered.

"I just know I'm going to regret asking this," I sighed. "But how did the Queen get pregnant so quickly?"

"It's been several weeks since you left," Alice explained. "Temporal slippage with all the Gates you used to get here."

"Okay, I'll abbreviate my question to: How did she get pregnant?"

"A certain gem and a certain Scuti got together with a certain royal ungulate, who got together with a certain skunk for an evening of certain venery," the rat grinned.

I stared at him for several seconds as I intently willed myself not to visualize the scene he was hinting at. "And what is she pregnant with, exactly?" I finally managed to say.

"Nobody knows for certain yet," Alice explained. "It would be best if the child is not a skunk, though even in that case it should not matter, since Estmere is not an elf and has no right to the throne. His heir has no claim."

Adler, remove your maiden disguise.
Alice, commend Fifi on her choice of motivational decorations. Fifi, giggle a lot.

"Nope, not talking about that any more," I grumbled, shaking my head. "I am going on the back porch to change clothes. No peeking!"



"Nice decor," Alice said as she admired the Vulpitanian posters. "I assume you chose these? They are very period-appropriate."

"Oh yeah, like, fer sure," Fifi giggled. "Isn't Young Monocled Patriot just the best?"

"He certainly is," Alice nodded. "Oh hey," she added, as Gertrude lugged Jack into the Station and laid him on the floor. "Is that a Scuti Activated Locomobile Vehicle? May I take a look?"

Alice, take a look at Jack. Discover that his "name" module is incorrectly inserted and only registers the word "George". Also, that his volume slider is stuck on high.
Jack, be equipped with a backup magic capacitor in order to be able to function in the low world for a while.

"Hmm," Alice mused as she inspected Jack. "This is a very old model, built by Redbough back before the Antglade rebellion. It has had a lot of unauthorized work done to it .. I think it may have originally been meant to be female. Its Identify Friend slot has a homemade wooden card shoved in it, with 'George' written along the edge. Who's George? And its volume control has been set to maximum. I can fix that for you, if you'd like. Uh-oh, its Discombobulator array is damaged. You'll need to find a replacement. Hello, what's this? A magick capacitor for brief excursions into lowfolk territory! Now that's a handy thing to have!"

Gertrude, realize with some shock that Adler is not actually a woman.

"I'm very concerned that the Duchess of Daisies has such a machine, and possibly others like it, in her possession," I declared as I stepped back into the room.



"Fuma's Whiskers!" Gertrude exclaimed. "You're a male!! How could one as elfly and handsome as yourself pass so convincingly as a maiden? You must truly be a master of disguise!"

"Ummm, okay," I said hesitantly. "Thanks for that compliment, I guess. But as I was saying, I'm concerned."

(HSH Prince Adler) Recall your grandfather's law on automatona.
>Unknown Rodent avec Scuti: Once Jack is up and running, suggest that your Scuti take him out for a test drive.
>Burnside: Suggest some Unseelie things to do to the Unknown Rodent once his Scuti is away. Just because.
>The mouse: Have some information that can be accessed once your scuti is unplugged. Be used as a bargaining chip.

"Lifelike automata were outlawed throughout the Empire by my grandfather, Adler the Prudent," I explained.

"This would have been built long before that edict was passed," Alice pointed out. "Plus there are numerous loopholes, if the automaton can be made to be easily distinguishable from a real elf. One can build it without a tail, for example, or give it the form of an imaginary creature like a jackalope."

"I've always wanted to drive one of those things," the rat murmured dreamily. "Maybe its memory core contains information I could retrieve. Once we get it operational, let me pilot it, and I think my host may have something of value to tell you."

"Oooh, can I tease it out of him slowly with a knife and a fistful of straight pins?" Burnside squealed excitedly.

(Burnside) Be put in a small metal carrying box. With a very stout lock.
Adler, try questioning Burnside about her behaviour. Also find interesting that she knew about Jack's discombobulator array.
Burnside, have uncontrollable blood rages whenever she smells blood, or just feels like it. Also, be a remorseless psychopath.

"I'm concerned not only about the automaton," I scolded, "but also by your appalling behavior, Attache Burnside! How could you be so vicious? Surely you don't carry on like that at home?"

"Whenever I was bad, my lowfolk pappy locked me in a box," Burnside growled sullenly. "As you can see, it didn't do much to improve my attitude. I wouldn't suggest you try it. Confined spaces make me go completely berserk."

"You mean, you weren't berserk in the woods earlier?"

"Nope. I was having fun."

"How did you know Jack had a Discombobulator?" I asked, after taking a moment to digest her previous statement.

"I've seen him around Antglade Station a few times, and I knew what he was."

(Bunneh Maiden) Start asking about sleeping arrangements.
(Argument) Over sleeping arrangements. Break out, noisily.
Adler > tell the scuti that you hope they are not planning to stay as there is hardly any beds here except the hammock.

"HEY! What kind of demons art thou?" the lowfolk maiden suddenly yelled. "These are not the exquisite torments of the Netherhells! Art thou going to stand around talking for all eternity? I should have been violated repeatedly by now! Breaker of Winds! Where is thy bed? Take me thither and do thy savage duty upon me!"



"Hey, back off, buckteeth!" Fifi snapped. "I like totally had dibs on him before you ever even knew he existed!"

"Bah! Be not so greedy! Thou hast lain in his unholy embrace since time began, Frost-Biter!"

"I haven't! Like not even once! No way I'm letting you get it before I do!"

"I am his Imperial Court-Appointed Floozy," Thomson interjected. "Both of you must defer to me."

"Tough luck for all of you," Burnside snarled as she bit into the maiden's leg. "But I'm the Prince's Diplomatic Attache, and it is my duty to stay closest to him at all times."

"I just need to keep the maiden intact for the Duchess's collection team," Gertrude insisted. "Careful, there. Don't make me have to hurt you."

"What are you doing?" Alice asked as Mara raised her fists and slowly approached the scuffle. "You don't have any stake in this."

"My host body has experienced the Prince's magick touch," Mara explained through clenched teeth. "Even though I know better .. the craving is .. nigh irresistible .. just to be close to him for a while .. with no distractions .. couldn't hurt .."

>Adler:You are in NO mood for this. Pull the hatchet out of the skull and use its screaming to shoo them outdoors.
(Argument) Be stopped by Adler removing the Axe.

This was too much foolishness for me to tolerate. I lunged across the desk and yanked the hatchet out of the previous Border Agent's skull. Immediately the air was rent by a loud, piercing, unearthly scream.

"TAKE IT OUTSIDE, LADIES," I yelled. "Settle the sleeping arrangements however you like, but the hammock is MINE, and mine alone!"

The femmes all rushed out the back door, and I replaced the hatchet. The night was suddenly still - unsettlingly still.

I peeked out the doorway to see why everyone had gotten so quiet.

(C. O'D) Make a very surprise nocturnal visit. To what end?
(C. O'D) Resolve the sleeping arrangements.

Duchess Catherine O'Daisies sashayed up the porch steps, with a large clay jug slung over her shoulder. Gertrude bowed her head reverently. Burnside did a ladylike little curtsey and muttered "Your Grace." The other femmes huddled nervously against the railing at the far edges of the porch.

"Adler, honey," the Duchess sighed musically, "I just heard the news from Albric Tor, and I figured I'd better stop on by. I brung a jug of Usquebaugh to help us think, cuz you 'n me's got a lotta plannin' to do. Oh, and in case y'all was wonderin' .. what y'all was tusslin' about a minute ago? Seein' as Adler's a diplomatic representative, he's gotta be extra neighborly to the Antglade, meanin' the one he snuggles up with at night has gotta be either me, or my duly appointed proxy, lil' ol' Miss Burnside. Take your pick, Adler honey."

Show Content

Spoiler

Percy, somehow manage to free yourself. Quickly write down what you learned, then attempt to enter the gate.
Residual energy, keep the gate ajar enough to allow Percy's wards to open it again and allowing him to cross (but not cross back).
Percy, find yourself on the other side. Then pick a direction and start walking, taking notes along the way.

>Pick the bear just to spite them.

or

>The most neighborly thing you can do is to give her and her underlings the shack while you sleep outside. Probably under a rock. There, you win. PERIOD. Better than the alternatives.

or

>You know, considering how large and wild your entourage has gotten, you could easily turn the outpost into a circus. Might be a good way to make some money on the side, and to cover up any devious plots you could devise.
Or
>Though it would be equivalent to getting cozy with a rabid animal that has a chainsaw for a head, Burnside would still be safer than the duchess.

Adler >Look away from the duchess! That was a Super High level wile you where not expecting from her. Make it look like you turning away in thought "oh hmm er let me thing about this!"

>Sleeping with Catherine is a super bad idea. also could lead her taking advantage over you and sire a devil spawn
>Burnside is the safest option but expect to be bitten a lot

Ratso > offer ye ol rubber john. made from a lowfolk named john

Adler > "omg! get that thing away from me!"

Alice, mara and ratso > Have a big pimped out traveling wagon with sleeping compartments. (the elf equivalent of a RV) How did everyone not see it? ant wagon pullers go "Gronk!"

Adler & Catherine> get down to business, discusses the possible out come of the child

>Consider spending the night with Duchess. Shrink.
>Consider spending the night with Burnsides. Shrivel.
>Normally having the interest of several nubile women would be nice, but this situation is just too stressful for you. Leap aside and run into the night howling like a madman!

Poor Adler, he hasn't had any in a while and then he gets way more than bargained for :)

>Choose ...both. .No really, hear me out. CoD can probaly stop, Burnside from getting too psychotic, and that in turn will distract her from getting too flirty with you.

<besides let's be honnest you weren't gonna get any sleep this night anyway, you gotta some serious plotting to do

(HSH Prince Adler) Pick the Duchess. After all, she's your rank, station and species.
(HSH Prince Adler) Take a generous belt of aqua vitae first, though.
(Burnside) Be locked up. In a metal box.
(Burnside) Make a long series of blood-curdling comments all night.
(Gertrude) Hold Jack, tenderly, and brush his fur.
(Gertrude) Make a long series of soft, crooning comments all night.
(Fifi Fofox, Thomson) Glare at each other.
(Fifi Fofox, Thomson) Make a long series of hissed, nasty, fursonal comments all night.
(Ratso, Mara, Alice) Indulge in a LOT of ham sammiches.
(Ratso, Mara, Alice) Make a long series of belches all night.
(Bunneh Maiden) Meditate
(Bunneh Maiden) Make a long series of annoying, high-pitched meditative sounds all night.

(HSH Prince Adler) Wake the next morning, sore and with a wicked hangover.
(HSH Prince Adler) See, the very first thing, three blurry mephitesses. All smiling.

(C O'D) Announce you have a PRESENT for Adler.

COD > Prepare to take the bunneh maiden with you.

Adler > Before you release the maiden to COD ask what she will do with the maiden?

Adler, have an urge to drink as much usquebaugh as possible to reduce your stress.
Usquebaugh, be spiked. With even stronger usquebaugh.

Adler, wake up the next morning with a massive hangover, naked, under the same sheet as the equally naked Burnside and the Duchess.
Duchess, give Adler the most innocent and seductive look as your milky white orbs can manage.
Burnside, smile merrily.

Lowfolk maiden, still demand defilement. And more usquebaugh.
Duchess, state that the maiden has been corrupted by Adler's touch and declare he to be his problem from now on.
Fifi, offer to defile the maiden yourself.

Gertrude, try to get the Duchess to repair Jack. Duchess, refuse, since the lowfolk maiden "has gone bad" due to Adler's meddling.

A late additional suggestion:
Percy, hear a sad, mournful, yet still beautiful, song accompanied by ukulele music coming from somewhere nearby. Go investigate.

Adler >Look away from the duchess! That was a Super High level wile you where not expecting from her. Make it look like you turning away in thought "oh hmm er let me thing about this!"

I looked away from the Duchess, to avoid the powerful Wiles she was attempting to use on me, and muttered something like "hmm, tough decision."

>Though it would be equivalent to getting cozy with a rabid animal that has a chainsaw for a head, Burnside would still be safer than the duchess.
>Sleeping with Catherine is a super bad idea. also could lead her taking advantage over you and sire a devil spawn
> Burnside is the safest option but expect to be bitten a lot
>Consider spending the night with Duchess. Shrink.
> Consider spending the night with Burnsides. Shrivel.
>Choose ...both. .No really, hear me out. CoD can probaly stop, Burnside from getting too psychotic, and that in turn will distract her from getting too flirty with you.
(HSH Prince Adler) Pick the Duchess. After all, she's your rank, station and species.

It was a tough decision indeed! Duchess Catherine was certainly more attractive (from a safe distance) than Burnside, but on the other hand she was potentially infinitely more dangerous. Would I rather be bitten and stabbed to death, or cursed for all eternity? This was no choice at all!

>The most neighborly thing you can do is to give her and her underlings the shack while you sleep outside. Probably under a rock. There, you win. PERIOD. Better than the alternatives.
Leap aside and run into the night howling like a madman!

I was tempted to simply dash away and run screaming into the forest, but it would be unworthy of a scion of Irenaeus to retreat in the face of danger! This situation called for bold, strategic subterfuge!

"I'm not going to have time for sleeping tonight," I announced sternly so that everyone could hear. "Her Grace and I have important matters to discuss. The rest of you may divvy up the Station however you can .. but I warn you, there isn't much room, and the skeleton at the desk will scream if disturbed."

Alice, mara and ratso > Have a big pimped out traveling wagon with sleeping compartments. (the elf equivalent of a RV) How did everyone not see it? ant wagon pullers go "Gronk!"

"We've got a nice wagon to relax in," Alice Chetsweeks explained. A muffled GRONNK from somewhere off on the other side of the Station seemed to corroborate her statement. "If we're all retiring to quarters, then the three of us will go there."

"So long, suckers," Ratso guffawed. "Thanks for the ham."

Adler > Before you release the maiden to COD ask what she will do with the maiden?
Fifi, offer to defile the maiden yourself.
Gertrude, try to get the Duchess to repair Jack.

"I have a home of my own, not too far from here," Gertrude sniffed. "There's no reason for me to hang around, as long as I have Her Grace the Duchess's assurance that my Jack will be repaired."

"My elves are on their way to collect Jack and the maiden," Duchess Catherine said. "They'll get him back to you in workin' order in two shakes, don't you fret none, sugar."

"Wait a second," I interrupted. "What exactly are they going to do to the maiden?"

"Don't reckon I should tell you, cause you'll just get all in a tizzy about it," Catherine sniffed.

"I'm not going anywhere til the Breaker of Ill Winds violates me!" the maiden insisted.

"Don't you worry, hon," the Duchess grinned at her. "You'll get violated plenty where you're goin."

"I'll like, keep her occupied while we wait," Fifi offered.

"Unhand me, Frost-Biter! I answer not unto thee!"

I didn't like this, but there were just too many things to think about right now. "SIMMER DOWN!" I ordered the maiden, sternly. "Go with Frost-Biter and submit to her as you would to me." Her eyes got very wide, and she quietly let Fifi lead her back into the Station building.

"I wanna see how this turns out," Burnside chuckled as she strolled in after them.

Adler & Catherine> get down to business, discusses the possible out come of the child
<besides let's be honnest you weren't gonna get any sleep this night anyway, you gotta some serious plotting to do
(HSH Prince Adler) Take a generous belt of aqua vitae first, though.

"Give me a slug of that Usquebaugh," I sighed as I pulled up a rocking chair and sat down wearily. "Then let's talk about whatever it is you came to talk about."

Duchess Catherine produced two earthenware tumblers from her elfintory, handed me one, and poured a generous amount of Usquebaugh into each before placing the jug on the floor and sitting down in another rocker across from me.



"You just relax, Adler honey," she crooned, patting me reassuringly on the knee. "Everything's gonna work out just fine. Now that them Vulpy thaumaturgists have un-elfed Estmere, the throne is technically unoccupied. All you gotta do now is physically remove him from it. Events have been set in motion that can't be reversed, so there ain't no point frettin' about it. There's gonna be a rebellion now, because the sitting Emperor is unfit to rule. You're gonna win the conflict because you're the true Irenaeid descendant, and I'll be helpin' you. Then you'll be in position to fix the Mistake, either by dissolvin' the Empire, or takin' the crown with me as your Queen. The choice'll be yours."

"But what'll happen to Estmere and Edessa and their child?" I asked.

"Who cares?" Catherine shrugged. "Estmere is a hundred percent lowfolk now, so he ain't important. Their baby'll have zero claim to the Imperial succession no matter what it turns out to be. Edessa I don't reckon will be much of a problem. Even if for some reason you don't manage to kill her, she'll have to come past me to get back to Caer Adland."

"I'm not going to kill Queen Edessa!" I exclaimed.

"Sugar, you can't afford to be so sentimental," Catherine chuckled. "She done tried to kill you twice already, and it's a sure thing she'll try again."



"Forgive the interruption," an Ixie blurted out as she landed on my shoulder. "Some visitors to see thee, Sire."

The Ixie's presence reminded me of something Ratso had said.

"Did you give the SALVs' gem to that white Scuti from their lab?" I asked.

"Not I, Sire."

"But one of your sisters did, right?" I demanded angrily. "I gave that to you for safekeeping!"

"We never promised to keep it nor return it to thee," the Ixie shrugged. "Our duty to the Sisterhood takes precedence over all but an immediate threat to thy safety."

"I am extremely displeased with you right now," I growled sullenly.

"I shall try to endure thy displeasure, Sire," the Ixie sighed with a halfhearted approximation of regret. "But right now thy new visitors require thy attention."



I got up and followed the Ixie around the veranda to the front. There, in the dim dawn light, I saw a trio of armed elves standing on the lawn.

"Hail, Adler the Second," the rat yelled, waving his sword. "True scion of Irenaeus and rightful King of Faerie!"

"AYE," the badger bellowed. "WE'LL CLEAR YON LOWBLOOD RUBBISH FROM T'THRONE AND GET 'EE YER PRETTY WEE CROON AND EE'L SAVE US FROM FUMA'S WRATH AND YON GAPS."

"My bow is at your service, Lord," the capped and cloaked elf stated quietly, with a polite nod.

"What in the Netherhells is this," I whispered to the Ixie.

"Tis thy army, Sire," she answered. "This is but the vanguard. More of thy supporters are on their way hither from all parts of Faerie."

Adler, have an urge to drink as much usquebaugh as possible to reduce your stress.

I tipped my head back and drained my glass of Usquebaugh, but when I looked again, the three rebel fighters were still there.

>Adler, you have an army. The possibilities are limitless. You don't have to exactly resort to violence, just be creative. Remember the old adage, "Speak softly and carry a big stick."
Or
>Army: Be completely unhelpful in removing the unwanted guests.
>Army: Be face-palmingly incompetent.
>Three Vanguards: Behave pretty much exactly like The Three Stooges.

Adler > Tell them to stand down, you and they are not starting a coup nor overthrowing your brother.

Estmere > Feel oddly strange, like something is not quite right, as someone walked over your grave.

Adler > see more emerge from the brushes behind them, one of them says "you have my ax" then someone else says "my hoe is at your disposal" shaking their garden implement in the air. more come out! "me claymore will cleave the false king in twain!", "fire ant cavalry ready to run through your enemies!" and more and more come

>Merry Men: Become decidedly less merry the more Adler tries to avoid rushing to take the royal castle right now this very instant.

I like the duchess and Burnsides in the first image, it has a very pleasing composition!

Army vanguard, praise Adler as a saviour. Then proceed to describe what they intend to do once they get to battle.
Adler, realize immediately that, while they certainly have great battle spirit, they don't appear to have much of a tactical sense. Or a survival instinct, for that matter.

Odd sounds, be heard emanating from the Scutis' wagon.

Burnside, do a very bad thing. Surprisingly not to the bunny maiden.


Baglute music, be heard in the distance. Be approaching.

Several other freedom fighters, arrive. Include a thief, a pirate, a bard, an old crown, a priest and a shinobi (exiled from a realm in the far east). Adler, be surprised to see a familiar face. Also, do not comprehend how come nobody seems to notice that one of the fighters is a very thinly disguised gravid female.

Duchess, show Adler the most maniacal laughter that you can achieve. Adler, realize that it has to be the most maniacal laughter you've ever heard, or heard of.

Adler, have no idea what to do with your new army. Try disbanding them without much success.
Army, demand food and drink. As well as entertainment and "entertainment". Misunderstand any and all of Adler's words as further encouragement.
Duchesse's men, deliver more usquebaugh for the troops.

>Duchess' Nephews: Show up at the worst possible moment and make a bad situation horrible.

(MacBroc, the badger) Continue to bellow in a semi-intelligble format. Among other things, demand changes in the Imperial policy regarding haggis.
(Darcy Cheesewright, the rat) Wave your sword about in a manner suggesting you're not fully trained in its usage.
(Q, the archer) Sort of stand there silently, as upon a peak in Darien.
(Bodb) Crash-land your roach nearby, causing confusion.
(Burnside) Start flirting with HSH Prince Adler in a truly disturbing way, after you come back.
(Burnside) Evidently be inspired by what you just saw re the bunneh maiden.
(HG C O'D) Start coughing madly after your laughing fit, indicating that it's been a long time since you've felt like cackling in a maniacal fashion.
(Antglade Express Delivery Fur) Struggle up the steps with a delivery box.

(Welp seems events are finaly catching up to the path on their inevitable conclusion. I had been wondering when that would happen.)


>What if your father and your uncle could see you know...

>If it helps, You did promess your father on his death bed to look after your brother. And right now with him having no more legitimicay and b etween the vulpitians, the sisterhood and the unseelies gunning for him, actualy geting him away from the throne might be the best way to keep him alive.
Elves may not lie but they can still rationalize like crazy.

>What if your father and your uncle could see you know...

A very old morbidly obese skunk, be closely watching Adler for years through a scrying device.

>What if your father and your uncle could see you know...

A very old morbidly obese skunk, be closely watching Adler for years through a scrying device.

there is a audio problem with the scrying orb, only the visual of adler yelling angrily (also maybe drunk), pointing in a aggressive manner in a direction, as if he is ordering them to attack somewhere.

In actuality adler is telling the army to go home and to stop this nonsense. (also maybe drunk)

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Spoiler

>If it helps, You did promess your father on his death bed to look after your brother.

Gawain ordered Adler to look after Estmere, but Adler never actually promised that he would do so.

>Adler, you have an army.
>Army: Be completely unhelpful
>Three Vanguards: Behave pretty much exactly like The Three Stooges.
Adler > Tell them to stand down, you and they are not starting a coup nor overthrowing your brother.
>Merry Men: Become decidedly less merry the more Adler tries to avoid rushing to take the royal castle right now this very instant.
Army vanguard, praise Adler as a saviour. Then proceed to describe what they intend to do once they get to battle.
Adler, have no idea what to do with your new army. Try disbanding them without much success.
Misunderstand any and all of Adler's words as further encouragement.
adler yelling angrily (also maybe drunk), pointing in a aggressive manner in a direction
telling the army to go home and to stop this nonsense.

"What are you elves doing here?" I yelled irritably at the assembled vanguard.

"ARRAGH," the badger bellowed as he dodged away from the rat's wildly flailing sword. "TIS A NEWER KINDER EMPIRE WE'LL BE MAKIN' AYE, WHERE HAGGIS'LL BE RIGHTLY CHERISHED."

"We'll split the false usurper from spleen to gizzard!" the rat yelled as he flung his sword haphazardly into the bushes. "With a true son of Irenaeus leading us, we'll sow mayhem and victory!"

"Quite," the archer replied stoically.

"You can't stay here!" I shouted belligerently.

"AYE, TIS MARCHIN ON TAE ALBRIC TOR WE BE!" the badger replied, brandishing his axe.

"I can't feed you!" I insisted.

"We'll plunder as we go," the rat enthused as he tugged his sword out of a privet bush. "It'l be grand! Just like the old days of the glorious Lacktail! Three cheers for King Adler! Hip hip!"

"There's plenty of ham to go around, yall," the Duchess called from behind the Station.

"HOORAY!" all three of the vanguard shouted in unison.

"How do you expect to take Albric Tor with only three fighters?" I demanded.

"Reinforcements are on the way," the archer pointed out. "Faerie demands a real King. All thinking elves will rally round the true heir, and none shall rest ere the imposter is unseated from the throne. Listen! More arrive even as we speak."

Adler > see more emerge from the brushes behind them, one of them says "you have my ax" then someone else says "my hoe is at your disposal" shaking their garden implement in the air. more come out! "me claymore will cleave the false king in twain!", "fire ant cavalry ready to run through your enemies!" and more and more come
Baglute music, be heard in the distance. Be approaching.

Several other freedom fighters, arrive. Include a thief, a pirate, a bard, an old crown, a priest and a shinobi (exiled from a realm in the far east)
>What if your father and your uncle could see you now...

We all stood quietly for a moment, and I could hear baglutes playing in the woods, not far away. An owl brandishing a forester's axe came stumbling out of the undergrowth. "Hoo, my axe is at your service, Your Majesty," he hooted enthusiastically. He was followed by a quartet of green-garbed elves brandishing gardening implements and muttering meaningfully about a "grim harvest."

"Great Fuma," I groaned as more elves began to wander into the clearing from all directions. "It seems I am now in command of a ragtag army. I wish Uncle Roland was here; he'd know what to do. My father deliberately kept me from learning any skills that would be useful here. I never learned Statecraft! I don't know how to wield a sword! I can't even ride an ant, for the Lady's sake! I'm going to need more usquebaugh."

I glanced beseechingly at my Ixie, but she just shrugged. "Thou art descended from Irenaeus. Time to live up to they heritage."

Burnside, do a very bad thing. Surprisingly not to the bunny maiden.
(Burnside) Start flirting with HSH Prince Adler in a truly disturbing way, after you come back.
(Burnside) Evidently be inspired by what you just saw re the bunneh maiden.

Before I could address my troops again, Burnside suddenly lunged out of the doorway and grabbed me around the waist.

"I just learned an amazing trick," she giggled huskily.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Let me show it to you," the raccoon suggested, with a frightening grin. "It'll surely make an impression on your army. Boost their morale the way Irenaeus used to."

Odd sounds, be heard emanating from the Scutis' wagon.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Burnside insisted as she grabbed my arm and started climbing on me. "You might even like it, too."

"Hark," the Ixie thought at me with Elfmind. "Dost thou hear that? Have those Scuti three dared to show themselves? Are they indeed here? Pardon, Sire, but I have business with them."

Duchesse's men, deliver more usquebaugh for the troops.
>Duchess' Nephews: Show up at the worst possible moment and make a bad situation horrible.
Struggle up the steps with a delivery box.

I was in the midst of trying to pry Burnside off me and explain that no means no, while my ever-growing crowd of followers shouted bawdy encouragement, when suddenly the Boy Dukes clomped up onto the porch, carrying a locked wooden chest between them.

"Fslrmghuh glugl," Bodb muttered as he looked at me.

"Howdy yall!" Matholwch shouted cheerfully to all of the gathered elves. "Aunt Mama Your Grace, we brung it like you said, and there's a boatload of ham 'n usquebaugh out back, so you folks just go on and help yourselves."

A hearty cheer went up, and most of my army stampeded around the Station, towards a heavily laden john-boat which had been pulled up among the reeds.

"That's lowfolk ham," I protested weakly, but nobody paid any attention.

Duchess, show Adler the most maniacal laughter that you can achieve.

"BWAH HA HA HA HAAA!" Duchess Catherine cackled in the most Unseelie manner I had ever seen. "Bodb, Matholwch, for once in your miserable lives, you boys done real good. Adler honey, this is it. The beginnin' of the end. Let's just open this here box, and I've got somethin' real special to show you that's gonna win you this here war."