The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

Lemmy > Your a master at stakeouts! You should go with adler!
Burnside > not really required to go, unless curious
Fifi > Totally in brah!
Thomson > Bound to adler and must follow

Adler> start turning raw plant materials into a wig, a pair of bunny ears, false buck tooth and a maiden dress.
Adler > ask who will volunteer to be the maiden? everyone looks at you as your the fairest looking one with your white fur
Adler > grumble and stick the disguise on. your not going to shape shift for this

>you return to the rabbits who have your requested offerings, They are puzzled at the maiden adler, before adler can explain

>Out of the darkness steps forth a very large shape, about 8 feet tall with red glowing eyes. Two Horns protrude out of the top of its head like a buck deer.
>The being gives out a fearsome aura around it, everything in this aura is unnerved
>However this is not a Ungulate or demon. The large horns obscure its Lagomorphic ears. This is a elven jackalope! Looking at everyone he says "Where is hoppy!? where is my frog??"

Adler > Be quite shocked
Party > Some of the party are overcome with fear! They flee back into the gate without adler
Rabbits > flee to the hills!

>"Looks like we have a mystery on our hands, gang."
>If you're going to start a team of super sleuths you'll first need to start a band and get a goofy cartoon sidekick.

(Group) Discuss how to set a watch for the visiting Mystery Elf.
(Fifi) Observe that Adler has to change clothes, if he wants to pose as a bunny maiden.
(Ms. Thomson) Offer dressing tips.
(Adler) Opine that he knows how to dress like a femmefur without any help, thank you very much.
(Dead Silence) Occur.
(Adler) Rock the look with a disguise that doesn't require transmogrification.
(Burnside) Demand to go along. Opine that you want a bunny maiden.
(Burnside) Upon being queried, opine that you want a bunny maiden, with fava beans and a chilled Persoc-Itoome. F-f-f-f-f-f-f.
(Adler) Actively consider putting Burnside in restraints.
(Group, including Lemmy) set watch for the Mystery Elf.
(Adler) Pose in the darkness in your best come-hither pose.
(Noises) Approach.
(Group) Open the Gate...for your Mystery Elf!
(Mystery Elf) Turn out to be two elves, a hulking one, and a much smaller one.
(Hulking Elf) Wonder where your froggie George has gone.

Upon returning to the lowfolk world, discover that the rabbits had left the area. With the exception of the sacrificial maiden, who still refuses to be left unsacrificed and Percy, who is now tied to a second stake next to her.

(Mystery Elf) Turn out to be two elves, a hulking one, and a much smaller one.
(Hulking Elf) Wonder where your froggie George has gone.

The smaller of the elves coming for the sacrifice, be a hunchbacked rat wearing goggles and a lab coat. Keep scolding the other one and telling him that "the Master" is most displeased with the loss of the retrieval frog. But change your opinion once you discover not one, but two sacrifices ready.

The bigger elf, have the intelligence that makes Fifi (almost) look like a genius by comparison.

Haha! i was hoping someone would think it was a retrieval frog! :D

Rat > Look at Percy in disappointment, Definitely not what the master wanted, but might make for a good test subject or a stew
Percy > BHAWK!
Rat > Look at the disguised Adler in amazement! The master will be very pleased with this fair
one. He taps the tips of his fingers together in excitement!

Hulk elf > See the butchered remains of George. Laminate for the loss of your dog/frog. Who would do this to someone's frog/dog?

(Hulking Elf) Announce to the "pretty shiny buggie ladies" that you have their payment.
(Hulking Elf) Produce an enormous comb, dripping with wild honey.
(Ixie-swarm) DESCEND. Make exhibitions of yourselves in a feeding frenzy.
(Hulking Elf) Clap your big ursine paws together in delight at the "pretty bunny!"
(Hulking Elf) Observe, in bafflement, that the pretty bunny has an awfully big floofy tail for a bunny. And a kinna funny musky scent, too.
(Hulking Elf) Decide it doesn't matter, 'cause you LOVE BUNNIES!
(Adler) Be the recipient, involuntarily, of a hug.
(Thomson) Attempt to suggilate the big lummox. Find it's more difficult than you think.

(Hulking Elf) Produce an enormous comb, dripping with wild honey.

Lab Rat Elf, scold the Hulking Elf at seeing the above. Give him (her? It?) a quick lecture that by a "honey comb" the Master did NOT mean a hair comb dipped in honey.

Everyone watching, find it funny.

Also, Lab Rat Elf, do NOT be named "Igor" or "Eye-Gore". But how does "Ear-gore" sound?

Show Content

Spoiler Questions I just realized that weren't explained yet:
What are the limits of an elfintory? Does the size of the objects put in it matter? Does the weight? And what happens to the weight of all the objects stored? Does the elf in question still feel it, or does it disappear into a pocket dimension? What happens to living objects stored?
Maybe the WPS could explain?

(Thomson) Attempt to suggilate the big lummox. Find it's more difficult than you think.

Hulking elf > How rude! Swat away Ms.Thomson into the darkness above and far away!

Thomson > be completely unconscious from the swatting and land into someones arms

Someone > Was waiting for a star to fall from the sky, in a attempt to catch it. Be surprised what fell into your arms instead. "Wow! Astrology paid off!"

Adler > Be completely powerless from the bear hug as your carried into the portal

FiFi, lemmy, burnside > Chase after them through the portal, but find they are not on the other side in ant glade!

Lemmy > you lost adler!!, what are you going to tell the duchess??? (panic sweat)

Show Content

Spoiler

What are the limits of an elfintory? Does the size of the objects put in it matter? Does the weight? And what happens to the weight of all the objects stored? Does the elf in question still feel it, or does it disappear into a pocket dimension? What happens to living objects stored?
Maybe the WPS could explain?

The following detailed explanation is extracted from Wise Professor Skunk's Your Elfintory and You.



"It's MIDICHLORIANS."

Lemmy > Your a master at stakeouts! You should go with adler!
Burnside > not really required to go, unless curious
Fifi > Totally in brah!
Thomson > Bound to adler and must follow
>"Looks like we have a mystery on our hands, gang."
>If you're going to start a team of super sleuths you'll first need to start a band and get a goofy cartoon sidekick.
(Group) Discuss how to set a watch for the visiting Mystery Elf.

"A stakeout?" Lemmy asked enthusiastically. "That's my area of expertise! Count me in."

"I'd rather we didn't," Burnside grumbled when I glanced at her. "I don't think there is anything of value to be learned by this, so if we're not going to be claiming the sacrificial maiden there's no point in going."

"I'm going with or without you," I informed her. "But I don't feel like this caper would be complete without a diminutive sidekick."

"That's absurd," Burnside scoffed. "But I am duty bound to accompany you, so I guess I'll have to go. At the very least it may be entertaining."

"Oh yeah, like totally," Fifi grinned when I looked at her. "No way would I miss this."

"I too am duty bound to accompany you," Thomson stated.

a pair of bunny ears, false buck tooth and a maiden dress
Adler > ask who will volunteer to be the maiden? everyone looks at you as your the fairest looking one with your white fur
(Fifi) Observe that Adler has to change clothes, if he wants to pose as a bunny maiden.

"Okay then," I continued, rubbing my hands. "One of us will have to pose as the sacrificial maiden, to act as bait to lure the Unseelie elves out into the circle."

"Totally gotta be you," Fifi exclaimed. "You're the fairest of us all, with your white fur and long hair."

"You have white fur and long hair," I pointed out. "Plus you're actually a femme."

"No way, I'm a vixen, they'll like never fall for it," the SALV insisted. "My pointy ears and big fluffy tail are a total giveaway. Plus .. well .. I'm like, not exactly a maiden."

"But ..." I began to protest.

"It can't be me," Thomson explained, "because I am supposed to be their goddess. Burnside is too small."

"And I'm officially not here," Lemmy muttered mysteriously.

"Fine," I sighed. "This is ridiculous, but we don't have time to argue. We'll need to fashion some false bunny teeth & ears out of bark or something, and I'll need a wreath of flowers and some sort of gown."

"I've got a nightgown that would look just adorable on you," Fifi giggled as everyone scattered to collect the needed supplies.

Adler > grumble and stick the disguise on. your not going to shape shift for this

About half an hour later, I was disguised as a sacrificial bunny maiden. I decided not to waste any effort at transmogrification or glamour, because the disguise only needed to work for a few minutes, in the dark of the lowfolk forest.

"It's perfect," Fifi squealed. "You make such a totally hot bunny maiden."

"You look almost good enough to eat," Burnside guffawed.

"Knock it off," I grumbled. "Let's head back to the Gate before it gets much later."

Upon returning to the lowfolk world, discover that the rabbits had left the area. With the exception of the sacrificial maiden, who still refuses to be left unsacrificed and Percy, who is now tied to a second stake next to her.

The femmes had gotten all of the giggles out of their systems by the time we reached the Gate, and we crept through silently to the circle of stones on the other side.

Percy le Gobelet was tied to the stake. He glanced around nervously while the sacrificial maiden sat cross-legged, apparently deep in meditation, on the ground beside him.

I realized with irritation that my disguise had been a pointless waste of time.

We spread out quietly among the stones and settled down to wait. The night wore on.

After a while we were alerted by a fizzling, popping sound from the Gate. This sound was followed by several steps of a thumping, heavy tread, and an imperious female voice which proclaimed:

"TREMBLE BEFORE CORNETTA, THE GREAT HORNED ONE!"

"What in the Netherhells?" the voice muttered after a moment's pause.



"I apologize for the irregularity, oh Horned One," the maiden exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "This lowly bird intruded and improperly imposed his befeathered self upon our sacred rituals. Ignore him! I alone am thy worthy sacrifice! Scorn me not! I insist that thou now fulfillest my destiny for which I was chosen, and plunge the sacred dagger into my heart!"

"Yes, absolutely, take her, and ignore my intrusion," Percy squawked. "I will not be offended in the least. I'm here by mistake anyway."

>Out of the darkness steps forth a very large shape, about 8 feet tall with red glowing eyes.
This is a elven jackalope!
(Mystery Elf) Turn out to be two elves, a hulking one, and a much smaller one.
The bigger elf, have the intelligence that makes Fifi (almost) look like a genius by comparison.

Two figures stepped forth from the shadows.

"WHADDA WE DO NOW, GEORGE?" the bigger one rumbled. "HUH? WHADDA WE DO? TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE, GEORGE. AM I RIGHT? HUH? AM I, GEORGE?"

"Stop calling me George, you big oaf," the other figure hissed. Then it called out, "Your sacrifice is acceptable. Where is the sacred dagger?"

>Adler: "Stop right there! If anyone's going to be sacrificed around here it's going to be me!"
>Actual Sacrificial Maiden: "Oh no you don't! I didn't spend years in sacrifice school just to be shown up!"
*a comical slap-fight ensues*

or

>As it turns out, Burnside is practically a tazmanian devil in how quick and destructive she is.

Adler} step out with the dagger and say identify yourself and stupid self!

Bear & jackolope } another sacrificial maiden? This seems very irregular. Who dare asks questions of cornetta?

Adler } give the bunny maiden the touch and get her out of there. Warn Burnside you will bend her over your knee and spank her, if she touches the maiden.

Jackolope } reakonise the body magic. Assume maiden Adler is from the sisterhood. What is the meaning of this? Why are these interlopers here?

Adler } gramarye the standing stones to illuminate. revealing the elves from the darkness.

>Adler: Produce the Vulpitanian joke dagger from your inventory, switch it for the sacrificial dagger with some sleight of hand.
>George: When you're wearing a dress you're called Gertrude, remind the Oaf using visual aides.
>George: Recognize a kindred soul in Adler.

Bear > Wears a not quite fitting dress for a hulking brute (female bear?)

Jackalope > Wear a fine black leather jerkin over a white shirt with white Breeches and shiny black boots.

[are we going dark or light in what they are doing with the sacrifices?]
[Soul stripping dagger to feed cornetta or a branding cut to make them slaves/servants]

Bear, look like a weird collection of ursine body parts belonging to a number of different species. Have the head of a panda (the first Adler had ever layed his eyes on), the arms of a grizzly and the legs of a polar bear.
Jackalope, look like a grotesque combination of a female rabbit and a roebuck.
Both, have clear stitch marks all over your bodies.

>Adler: "Stop right there! If anyone's going to be sacrificed around here it's going to be me!"
>Actual Sacrificial Maiden: "Oh no you don't! I didn't spend years in sacrifice school just to be shown up!"
Adler} step out with the dagger and say identify yourself

"HALT!" I yelled as I dashed out between the Maiden and the mysterious elves. "You're not sacrificing this Maiden tonight, if I have anything to say about it!"

"Excuse me??" the Maiden retorted hotly. "Who are you, you scrawny hussy, to interfere with my destiny? I am the most fitting sacrifice ever to be offered to Great Cornetta! I won't let some long-tailed impostor take this away from me!"

Bear & jackolope } another sacrificial maiden? This seems very irregular.
Adler } give the bunny maiden the touch and get her out of there.

"THREE SACRIFICES, GEORGE," the rumbly voice exclaimed with delight. "SHE'S GONNA LIKE THAT ALL RIGHT, RIGHT GEORGE? RIGHT?"



I didn't have time to argue with the Maiden, so I subdued her with a quick dose of Orgasmic Touch. She collapsed against Percy with a sigh of bliss.

"HEY, HEY, WHOAH," Percy squawked. "Leave me out of this!"

Jackolope } reakonise the body magic. Assume maiden Adler is from the sisterhood. What is the meaning of this?
>George: When you're wearing a dress you're called Gertrude, remind the Oaf
Bear > Wears a not quite fitting dress for a hulking brute
Jackalope > Wear a fine leather jerkin over a white shirt with white Breeches and shiny boots.
Jackalope, look like a grotesque combination of a female rabbit and a roebuck.

"Wait a minute," the feminine voice grumbled. "What's a Sisterhood operative doing out here? Why are you interfering with our operation? We're not violating any sanctions here."



The two mysterious elves stepped out of their concealing shadow.

"WHAT NOW, GEORGE?" the antlered one boomed, much to my surprise. "DO WE GET A PRETTY BUNNY RABBIT OR NOT?"

"I'm not sure," the bear replied, in a voice far more delicate than one would expect from her massive frame. "Something highly irregular is going on .. and my name, by the way, is Gertrude! how many times do I have to remind you?"

"SORRY GEORGE," the other elf rumbled sheepishly.

>As it turns out, Burnside is practically a tazmanian devil in how quick and destructive she is.

"That small one is obviously an artificial construct," Burnside whispered, as she pulled a knife and fork out of her Elfintory. "An amateurish conglomeration of rabbit and roebuck; two distinctly different kinds of delicious! Give me thirty seconds, Your Highness, and I'll reduce him to his constituent parts."

>Adler: You know what, why the heck not? Let Burnside go on a mini-rampage just to get it out of her system. Cover your eyes though.

>Thomson: Have produced an impressive number of exotic and frightening weapons from your collection.
Also
>Thomson: Give Burnside a grade and some feedback on her blood curdling performance.

Gertrude > Quickly pick up your companion construct away from burnside's hungry malice "No! Stay away from my husband! Theres already not much of him left!"
(anyone seen franken hooker? the parts used effects the personality of the construct)

Adler > demand a explanation. what are they doing with the maidens?

Percy > even tho you are in dire peril, you make a mental note of everything said and seen, this will be a great addition to your studies...if you survive!

>Sisterhood has dealings with the Unseelie? What the flipping heck!?

Hah, you got me with the smaller one having the booming voice!

>Adler: You know what, why the heck not? Let Burnside go on a mini-rampage just to get it out of her system. Cover your eyes though.

"Okay, fine," I sighed reluctantly. "Go ahead and indulge yourself, but just -"

She dashed toward the jackalope before I could finish what I was saying.

>Thomson: Give Burnside a grade and some feedback on her blood curdling performance.

"I have to admit, I like the Antglade attache's style," Ms. Thomson stated as I tried not to look in the direction of the bloodcurdling snarls and clattering cutlery. "She has excellent tastes in lethal hardware, and lots of Persockity Vitality. I think she and I will get along quite well during your tenure at the border post."

Gertrude > Quickly pick up your companion construct away from burnside's hungry malice

"Hey!" Gertrude yelled irritably over the noises of Burnside's fury as she held the raccoon up at arm's length. "Hey you! Sisterhood agents! Is this thing yours? I don't appreciate it attacking my helpmate when we haven't even done anything to you."

"Release me and suffer the consequences!" Burnside snarled.

"Don't you mean 'or?'" Gertrude asked. "Release me or suffer the consequences?"

"Elves do not lie," Burnside growled sullenly.

"Start telling me something," Gertrude called to me, "or I will crush this disagreeable creature."

"DON'T HURT THE LITTLE THING, GEORGE," her antlered companion boomed. "IT'S GOT SUCH A CUTE FACE AND A FLUFFY LIL' TAIL."

"Crushing in three .. two .." the bear announced grimly.

Adler > demand a explanation. what are they doing with the maidens?
Percy > even tho you are in dire peril, you make a mental note of everything said and seen, this will be a great addition to your studies...if you survive!
>Sisterhood has dealings with the Unseelie? What the flipping heck!?

"Explain your presence here!" I yelled back. "Why are you taking sacrificial lowfolk maidens? And why do you think we are with the Sisterhood?"

"You used an Orgasmic Touch on that maiden. There's an Albric Tor Floozy standing right next to you, and a Lengra-Cha Floozy skulking back there in the shadows behind you. If you're not a Sisterhood special task force, then you've certainly done a good job imitating one! I should ask you what YOU'RE doing here, interfering with our operation. This is way out of your normal jurisdiction."

"I'm asking the questions," I barked. "I've got the maiden. Why are you taking lowfolk, what are you doing with them, and how long has this been going on?"

"As I understand it, this particular exchange has been going on for centuries," Gertrude shrugged. "I've only been involved for a few years. My job is to pick up the maidens and deliver them to Antglade collection teams at certain drop points along the border."

"Why?"

"Surely you know. Antgladers are prohibited by Imperial Law from leaving their territory without special authorization."

"But what do they want the maidens for?"

"You'd have to ask them," Gertrude shrugged. "I could make a few guesses, but honestly I'd prefer not to know."

"They must be paying you handsomely to secure your co-operation in this Unseelie scheme," I declared with disgust.



"Oh they are," Gertrude sighed. "The Duchess of Daisies made Jack for me. He's based on my ideas of the perfect male. He's not very smart, I admit, but he makes up for it in loyalty and affection - and by Fuma's Musk, isn't he just the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen?"

"I WILL HUG YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU AND CALL YOU GEORGE," the jackalope bellowed as he snuggled up next to his partner.

"Each time I deliver a maiden, the Duchess replenishes Jack's life force," Gertrude explained. "So you see, I need that sacrificial bunny!"

"Um .. where is Burnside?" I whispered nervously to Thomson via Elfmind.

> Antgladers who break the rule for extended periods are pooked back into antglade. Mainly in swamp water, and a foot above it

Adler > Take a look at jack, figure out what he runs on. Find a orb container with "Energizer" written on it, located where his heart would be. It sloshes with a strange liquid substance

Adler > The duchess can make these constructs? with enough of what ever they are running on, she could make a army of them.

>Burnside is ten times more dangerous when you can't see her. Like a shark in the water.

>Percy: "Unseelie, Sisterhoods, AND heinous collaborations? Say, this is some good info, I wish I could take notes."
>Adler: "Quiet, you."

Burnside, be circling around, looking for another attack vector. Prove that your middle name of "Sideways Ingrid" is not just completely without meaning.

Adler, give Percy the orgasmic touch in order to shut him up. Percy's wards, reflect the touch back on Adler.

Adler, come back to your senses in a while. Find that everyone is still in the same place, only this time Percy has two black eyes and Burnside is the one tied to the stake.

Adler, take a look under Jack's clothes. Find a slot leading to a device labeled "logic" that seems to have a number of modules attached to it, as well as a larger number of empty slots for more such modules. Also discover that lower down, he has a long tubular compartment labeled "pilot". The "pilot" compartment, be empty, but end in a slot frighteningly similar to the slot Alice's body has where her tail should be.

Also, "Jack", be short for "Jackalope" (Rhymes with "Penelope").

>Seriously consider if Burnside can really be the same cute raccoon girl you saw years ago. She seems downright Unseelie!

Adler > The reflected orgasmic touch has knocked You out cold. When you wake up there is a awful feeling in your undergarments! you throw them away. Looks like your going commando for now.

Maiden > Addicted to adler. Commit your body and soul to him

Adler > You could investigate the drop off point but there is no way to infiltrate antglade to find out what they doing with the maidens, without being stuck on that side of the border for good

Adler > Ask Gertrude the process of the sacrifice, do they have to be delivered.... dead? (shows the dagger)

>Percy: "Unseelie, Sisterhoods, AND heinous collaborations? Say, this is some good info, I wish I could take notes."

Before Ms. Thomson could answer me, Percy used the momentary pause to interject: "This is all most fascinating. Since I am tied up at the moment, could I perhaps trouble one of you to pull my spare notebook out of my pocket and write a few things down for me?"

Thomson and I both turned to glare at him.

"No, I .. er .. can see that's an unreasonable request," the bird stammered. "Never mind, then. I'll just .. uh .. forget everything I have seen and heard tonight."

I was wondering exactly what he had warded himself against, and how I could ensure his forgetting, when suddenly there was a shriek and a bellow ..

>Burnside is ten times more dangerous when you can't see her. Like a shark in the water.
Burnside, be circling around, looking for another attack vector. Prove that your middle name of "Sideways Ingrid" is not just completely without meaning.

Burnside leaped from the shadow of one of the standing stones with alarming quickness, and plunged her barbecue fork into Jack's back. Gertrude snatched the raccoon out of the air with a massive paw (alas, a split second too late) and caught the slumping jackalope with her other arm.

"OW, GEORGE," Jack rumbled feebly just before going limp.

>Seriously consider if Burnside can really be the same cute raccoon girl you saw years ago. She seems downright Unseelie!

"Burnside!" I yelled, outraged. "How could you be so Unseelie?"



"How could you not be?" Burnside cackled. "That was totally worth it! I got him right in the Discombobulator Array!"

"I will destroy you," Gertrude snarled as she began to squeeze Burnside's head.

Adler > Take a look at jack, figure out what he runs on.
Adler, take a look under Jack's clothes. Find a slot leading to a device labeled "logic" that seems to have a number of modules attached
lower down, he has a long tubular compartment ... frighteningly similar to the slot Alice's body has where her tail should be.

"Wait a second, wait a second!" I yelled as I strode toward them, with Thomson close behind me. "Burnside is a diplomatic representative of the Gladsome Antglade, so please don't squish her. If Jack has a Discombobulator Array, then I might be able to fix him. I've had some experience with these things. If I may?"

Gertrude handed Burnside off to Ms. Thomson, and helped me remove Jack's coat & shirt. We rolled him face-down and I examined his fork wound. Sure enough, there was a panel which opened, and behind it was a Discombobulator next to a rack of numbered slots, about half of which had brass cards inserted into them.

"Blast," I muttered. "I was hoping the Discombobulator had merely been unseated, but she actually damaged it, so it will have to be replaced. If, as you say, the Duchess built him, then she should have spare parts."

Adler > The duchess can make these constructs? with enough of what ever they are running on, she could make a army of them.
Adler > Ask Gertrude the process of the sacrifice, do they have to be delivered.... dead? (shows the dagger)

Acting on a hunch, I reached down and tugged on Jack's tail. It came off easily, and I could see what looked suspiciously like a Scuti pilot port where the tail had been.

"He was designed as a vehicle for a Scuti," I explained. "I don't understand why he would be walking around pilotless, with this artificial tail instead."

"I never knew it was removable," Gertrude murmured.

"Well, I'm going to have to meet with the Duchess and discuss all of this," I mused. "The implications are quite disturbing. How many of these constructs does she have?"

"This is the only one I know about," Gertrude replied. "But please, I just want him fixed. I don't think I could bear losing him."

"You might as well come with me, then."

"Not without the sacrificial maiden," Gertrude insisted. "The Duchess's people will be expecting it. I bring them lowfolk in exchange for maintenance on Jack; that's the deal."

"Do the maidens have to be .. dead when you deliver them?" I asked with some trepidation.

"Fuma's sakes, no. I don't think I could kill them in cold blood. There's a special joke dagger which they gave to this tribe long ago. It should be lying around here somewhere. Anybody watching would think the maiden was killed, but the blade collapses and all it does is stun them."

"Delivered unconscious then?" I muttered thoughtfully.

"The meat stays fresh longer that way," Burnside explained cheerfully.

"By the Lady!" I spat. "I don't like this at all. We must leave the maiden here."

"I'm not facing the Duchess without that maiden," Gertrude insisted stubbornly.

"Guys, she's like, coming to," Fifi called from where she was kneeling over the bunny maiden.

"Frost-Biter," the maiden murmured dreamily. "Thou and thy demon kin have defiled me. My soul belongeth henceforth to the Breaker of Ill Winds. Take me with thee and steep me evermore in sweet, sweet sin.."

"I think this is a bad idea," I groaned. "But okay, blinfold her and take her with us."

"What about me?" Percy asked hopefully.

"Shut up."

We left the bird tied to the stake, and trudged our way back to the Border Station.



"There you are," Alice Chetsweeks said as soon as I entered the building. "We heard that you had been exiled here, and we thought we'd drop in for a visit. The door wasn't locked, so we came in and helped ourselves to some of that delicious Antglade ham."

"Nice place," Mara mumbled in between bites. "Lovely decor."

"You may be interested to know, Your Highness," Alice continued. "SALVs Nidab and Semos have finished their work and returned to Vulpitania in triumph. Queen Edessa is pregnant."